Ah I loved it, I'm hopeless at animal stories - anything like this has me blubbing like a nutter. I really felt for that little puppy and was so relieved that he found a nice home.
I liked the description of the 'manicured hand' though for some reason I thought it was going to lead to a more sinister character (I got that wrong!!)
I love the connection that you illustrated through their shared dream and I was VERY relieved that they found the other puppy.
I wasn't sure I entirely understood how the lone puppy in the tree trunk had survived when their other brothers and sisters hadn't and the implication at the shelter was that Augie had been having bad dreams for a while - please tell me if I did miss something here as I probably did.
Anyway - I'll be popping back to read more of your stuff so thank you for a lovely read.
I really like this - it was very thought provoking. The premise of 'Soul MAtes' in one that fascinates me (so much that I've written a YA novel about the idea of Twin Flames), you illustrated the connection beautifully.
Have you ever read what Plato says about Twin Flames?
Super, a joyful read. I hoped and hoped that he would get the option at the end - my only disappointment is that I really want to know what hapens next.
Favourite sentance is another of your humor filled best:
"four minutes of work missed due to lateness was a tragedy, but fifteen minutes missed due to lecture was fine"
The humor you inject into your writing is one of my favourite things about your work!
I really enjoyed this read. I strongly empathised with the main character, not because of the situation per-se but because of the way you dramatised the growing stress and anxiety. As I read I remembered those exact feelings; and I just loved how you incorporated the repetative reverse counting - I myself sing xmas carols (in my head) when I'm that anxious and you completely tapped into those feelings.
What I espeically loved is that I was chuckling as I read too!!
The only question I had left was about the man left in the car - from the way you described him I felt like I was expecting more from his character.
This sounds like the introduction to a very sweet teenage love story; many readers will relate to that feeling of being uprooted and moved unwillingly to somewhere allien. It was nice to see a supportive mother in the background - or maybe she isn't?
If you are looking for suggested improvements then my main comment centres around your delivery. I suspect you may have used full-stops where you intended to use commas or semi-colons - the effect of this makes the writing seem a bit broken, perhaps disjointed. Take a look at this and you mind find it reads a little more smoothly - just a suggestion tho!
Brilliant! Absolutely briliant - such a fund read. I was hooked from the outset tying to work our what was happening and I must have changed my on who the main protagonist was at least 3 times. I laughted outloud when I realised it was a guinea pig!
What a super idea, so well executed too. My only - tiny suggestion is that I don't think you actually have to spell out the 'I was her pet'. This is because to my mind you let us know this in a super subtle way without saying the exact words.
I really enjoyed this read - a very mischievous twist on the extra marital affair scenario.
I particularly love the line 'it was glorious to watch her' because to start with I felt it was his love/infatuation making him appreciate her appearance but as you deliver the rest of the story I realised it was more about the sweet, sweet taste of revenge/justice!
I think I fell in love with your idea - writing the history of a relationship that has spanned over 20 years and begins at the tender age of 5 is just the sweetest idea. I think it resonated because my 4 year old has just started school and has a love hate relationship with a little girl in his class!!
Anyway - I think the beauty of what you are writing lies in the simplicity of the story and the narrative. As a general observation I think you change tense quite often and that leaves the reader having to think more about where we are in time as opposed to what is happening in the tale.
If you can address some of the changes in tense I think it will make for a smoother read.
I would say this much however - I finished this and went to look for the next installement so I've already read your 'Physics Lesson'.
This is just beautiful to read. Honestly, it made me ache thinking of all those lovely experiences and the pain that makes them all the more poignant.
A long, long time ago I was very, very ill - I had neither the imagination nor the talent to put into words how wonderful the world felt when I woke up from it all. You just achieved that in a few brief paragraphs.
My favourite piece of writing on this site so far.
I may need a short break from reading some of your work now though as it's an extremely emotional to read.
I was SO not expecting the twist at the end, what a fabulous, devastating end to your tale.
The strength of this writing is in the idea, the pull of this very real love (which we can all related to) and then the powerful punch at the end - dealing with loss and grief.
If I was to be VERY picky I'd say that some of your word choices make this slightly more 'cheesey' in places whic possibly detracts from the emotional integrity of your writing.
Hope this helps... Please ignore if not (!)
K.
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