This was beautiful and I want to thank you for pointing me in the direction of this poem. It flowed swiftly and smoothly. There is so much that can be read in to it. I have felt this way about a child I longed for but never knew. I will be going back to have a look at your whole port. Thanks, Lin
I enjoyed this poem. I have had a few moments with whispers in the twilight. This piece flowed well and the words helped create a creepy, all senses on alert feeling. My favorite stanza is the last which results in a feeling of relief. Thaks for a good read. Lin
Well that one really blew me away! Well done! This story moves along rapidly and never falters. The ending actually was a surprise. I wasn't expecting what I got. The conversation flowed along and was believable. There is some good suspense. The charecters were easy to imagine. Well done! Lin
This was very good. You have written a witty piece that everyone could relate to. I know I am always astounded when I enter a coffe shop, no matter how many times I've been there. The piece flowed well and moved along rapidly. I would correct a couple of things. Paragraph five I think should be "their" not there.
Paragraph seven: you said the same thing twice, you could delete "I didn't know there were..."
Lastly, You have extra spaces in paragraphs where when you copied this document the structure split. It happens to me all the time when I copy from word into the item I am creating. Just go back and get rid of the extra space. It makes the whole story look more professional. Overall, I found this funny and enjoyed it. Lin
This was wonderful and ought to become a motto for the female anything! I have a duaghter who is a captain in the army and I will share this with her. We watch her struggle all the time for the same reasons. This flowed well and moved a long swiftly. It is witty and I got a real laugh at the end. Lin
This is an accurate portrayal of someone very ill, struck down, who feels their world their world falling apart. I have been in this position. Bewildered and wanting to go back to another place in time and I could easily relate. The piece flowed well and I am going to put it in my favorites. Lin
I enjoyed this. I am a big fan of Monet and found this a good idea. I paint and I hope that people will see a story in what I have painted so it gave me pleasure to see that you had done this with the Monet. The story moved pretty well and the feelings represented rang true. Well done. Lin
This was a beautiful poem that created wonderful mental images. I chose to read this at first because of the title. I love Oak trees. They have given my peaceful, happy moments and helped me understand the beauty of Autumn. This was a sensuous poem as well. Good writing. Lin
I enjoyed this poem. It was short but said a great deal in so few words. You have given us a clear setting with the words "the golden, muted light of autumn afternoon...". The is a favorite time of year for me and I could easily identify. I can remember asking myself similar questions of past loves. The poem flowed well. Lin
That was wonderful! You fully caught my favorite season and created a sensory delight. I felt as if I were there enjoying it with you. You caught sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing in a beautiful painting of words. This was a good read. I will be coming back for more. Lin
This was a good story that moved along quite well. The use of conversation helped the story along and it probably not too far off the mark using the idea that people had forgotten how to laugh. There were some errors. In the line: "A red ball almost..." delete that almost because you have the word in twice.
Paragraph 4: "I've been trained to do something (that).. - add the word that.
Instead of "At that time..." try maybe "By now, I could..."
"And what is that?" - you have a coma there and it should be a question mark. You don't really need to say I asked because that shows that you asked.
With just a bit of editing this could be much better. I enjoyed this. Lin
This was an amusing piee that flowed well and moved fast. I loved the concept of the cow on the internet and using writing.com and I loved the way she resolved her hunger. Sort of gives a whole new meeting to the word gourmet! I enjoyed the piece and will look for you again. Lin
This was a beautiful piece that had me in tears. It painted a very graphic picture in my mind and tore me apart. I think that both were brave. How can an adult do that to a child? I will never understand. This was an intimate look at a very personal tragedy. Thank you for having the courage to share it. Lin
The images created were good. The piece had a timeless feel to it. It could have been anyone, anywhere looking back and returning home. I thought it flowed fairly well. In the last line should tht have been absolutely soon? I hesitate to question wording in a poem but I think that would fit better. I enjoyed this. Lin
I found this to be a very powerful piece that had an ending that hits you in the face. I felt like I could relate to the piece. I have had those moments myself. On the technical side I thought it flowed well. I like the way each stanza ended with "'cause all I really want...". I hope that that was only a brief feeling at the end and that was not an epitath. Lin
I loved this poem. It felt like peace. When I want peace Ioften head to the water. It is to me timeless and ever-flowing is the contentment found there. You have captured that feeling for me and I shared inyour moment. That is a poem I appreciate. One that captures a special place or feeling or moment. Well done. Lin
That brought tears to my eyes. It was a prayer and a mantra, something whispered to a child as they are tucked in at night, or words thought as they leave the houe to start their day. It has a timeless feel to it. Words to be felt no matter the child's age. Well done! Lin
You have a good basis here for a story and I felt frantic while reading it, but I was not sure if I felt frantic over the parrot or how it was written. I think you need to start out with "The 17th was..." We need to clarify the 17th, at least at the start. Where the main charecter laughs in the first paragraph- why did she laugh when she fell or maybe how? Was it shakily or frantic? The story is confusing at the story but then it settles down. We are not clear until later that she is going back in time and telling a story. You have a good imagination and I think some editing will help make this a very good read. Are you writing the story with English as a first language? I hope that you don't mind my asking that. Lin
Your descriptions are good about the people and the house but this piece needs some punching up. The use of dialogue would help. These people have been togeather a long time, that is clear, and maybe they would not have lots to say to each other but you need to have them say, as dialogue, what they would say to each other. I love old family stories. This would be greatly enhanced with that addition. Lin
This was a good read. the piece flowed well and your choice of words conveyed a great deal of strong emotions. I love the contrast between the first three stanzas and the last three. I feel many people can relate to what you have written. I enjoyed this and will be checking out your port. Lin
This piece flowed well and had a wealth of emotion running through it. The pain was visible. The piece grabs you with the first line and continues to hold your attention. I think that the third stanza was my favorite but the entire poem is easy to relate to. Well done! lin
I think I needed to read this faster. I know the last 5 lines definitely indicated rage. It is definitely an angry piece but I think you might need to expound more. I wanted to understand the piece and I shall have a look in your port and see if there is anything I get a better grip on.
I really enjoyed this piece. It flowed well and had a lovely rhythm. I also liked the focus of the piece. I love the days that I am wandering around with the song in my heart! I think that my favorite is the second stanza. This was a good read. Thanks. Lin
This was good. I hesitate to say a poet should do something but I think that it needs some punctuation. It had good rhythm though and flowed well. You created good mental images with your words and I like your philosophy in the poem. I will have a look inside your port. Keep writing. Lin
I enjoyed this piece. Music can be related to in so many ways. I remember old loves, good and sad times, it brings us joy and peace. Makes us want to dance. This piece flowed well. My favorite part was the first stanza. The poem does grab your attention from the start. It is almost a song in itself. Good job. Lin
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