LightinMind's (luminementis) Reviews

Review Requests: ON

2,485 Public Reviews Given

2,485 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.

STATIC

My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing (E)

How do I assess people's work when reviewing?

#2259390 by LightinMind

I'm good at...

More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.

Favorite Genres

Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, History themes, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.

Least Favorite Genres

Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.

Favorite Item Types

I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.

Least Favorite Item Types

Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.

I will not review...

I mainly review by invitation or for my Grill a Christian contest. Though sometimes a story pops up in my feed or through the email system also. I used to write a hundred reviews a month but that requires a lot of low marking and critiques that people almost always do not appreciate. So now I usually wait for people to ask me. If I do not like it I will not review it unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.

Public Reviews

< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... >

Credit this reviewer

#4858331

Review of The Tragedy

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello Surgec68

. Thank you for entering this month's contest and congratulationsd congratulations on your victory.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "The Tragedy"

Did you answer the question?

Yes by suggesting that the question itself was slightly erroneous in focusing in on righteousness as the test for the validity of violence. The deeper concern here is whether actions are born of a trust in God or not. If the root is not faith, the action cannot be righteous.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

A strong biblical knowledge was expressed here but few direct quotes except for Psalm 127 .

How consistent was your argument?

By focusing in on faith as the key to understanding the place of violence in a believers walk with God you rendered discussion of the specific examples where it might be justified purely contextual and relational.You were consistent in deploring the taint that violence brings even when as with King David or Joshua it might be something the person was called to. Violence is ultimately always the tragic product of a fallen and broken world as the example of the child approaching the vehicle perfectly illustrated.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

When King David slew Goliath he killed a giant who strutted arrogantly before the Lord in his own strength. Defending his flock, as a shepherd against lions with his sling had prepared him for this. He had no doubts that an enemy that defied God in this way was not worthy of life and so he did not hesitate to cut off Goliath's head when he fell. Thereby he turned the hearts of an army drained of motivation and near to despair to hope and renewed faith. When David commanded his armies he imbued in his men a similar conviction that they were doing good in destroying pagan enemies and extending Israel's borders. These men did not have to wrestle with their consciences because they knew David to be a man of God and they knew that to follow him was to follow God. He was never condemned for his violent actions but as you say his hands were covered in blood and therefore not fit to build the temple. Your argument avoided all reference to the examples on which just war doctrine was founded and struck me as being quite impractical for real Christian soldiers in real armies wondering if their cause was just. Even unrighteous kings must convince the troops that they are fighting for a higher cause than mere survival. Moreover the church over the last 2000 years has given careful thought as to when to kill and when not. Sometimes it has made the wrong call, supported the losing side or the wrong side but that guidance and the tests that come with it is fairly clear.

The violence implicit in capital punishment, self defense or defense of the innocent can also be a necessary and righteous act. Laws and rules of engagement, just war doctrine and even holy war doctrine may justify the fight and clarify the limits of combat and the way to fight in a way that the individual conscience is really asked only to submit to or defy depending on the validity of the justification. Your mode of argument lent itself to conscientious objectors or individual soldiers finding reason to fight but would have been corrosive of the team unity of actual fighting units engaged in war fighting. In a situation of self defense or defense of the innocent there is not the time to consider whether one has the right to fight. We need clear biblical teaching and clear principles so that when the time comes our responses are righteously instinctive, proportionate and so that we act in the moment in the way our study prepared us for.

The Bonhoeffer example remains controversial to this day because in effect Bonhoeffer was rebelling against the appointed authority. Paul urged obedience even to Nero in Romans 13. Bonhoeffer understood the dilemma of his position. He was not entirely convinced of the moral validity of killing Hitler but he considered that doing nothing and simply allowing Hitler to continue on the path he had set for Germany was even worse. In the end his mission and his prayer was not blessed and it took the allied forces to destroy the Third Reich instead. Violence tainted a man of deep faith in this case and in a way that did not taint Christians who were soldiers on the battlefield simply doing their duty. When the angel killed Herod Agrippa I refuse to consider that the action tainted him, nor to consider it as a mournful tragedy. It was a necessary execution that left the world a better place. That said human initiated revolutions based on liberation theologies such as those spawned by Paul Lehmann (liberation to humanize), Jürgen Moltmann (theology of hope) and Gustavo Gutierrez remain very controversial today. In Iran as I speak the overthrow of an evil regime may liberate the Persian church to greater things but only at immense cost.

The great violence of the plagues of Egypt, the genocide in Canaan and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah are as nothing compared to the judgment of the flood or the plagues and disasters that the two witnesses of the end times will call down upon the earth in an effort to shake the last semblance of faith out of those who remain during the last days. The bible is an inherently violent text since the fall and until after the Final Judgment of all mankind. Yes this is a tragedy because violence results in death, the wages of our sin is death. This same violence was inflicted on Christ on the cross, unjustly and in a way that overthrew the authorities of this world once and for all, but still did not put an end to violence. Jerusalem would fall a generation later and a million Jews died in the revolution against Caesars rule.

You quoted heavily from the beatitudes in which Christ described the identity of his people. In the next sections he goes on to describe their vocation as salt and light in the world and finally called them to a righteousness written on their hearts that would surpass that of the Pharisees. The law that he fulfilled included justifications for righteous violence. The Second Coming of Christ will in effect be the most violent event in human history with billions forcibly cast into hell, following judgment. When I wrote this question I wondered if violence could clear a path for faith in some circumstances like the historical ones I mentioned. In a sense you suggested by way of response that we must all work out our own paths in fear and trembling and leave the macro level historical questions to the Sovereign Lord who alone is able to answer them. I tend to believe that God is more forthcoming than that and that He speaks to communities, granting clear guidance, and not just individuals.

Mechanical issues

Nothing that distracted from the argument here

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4854414

Review of A Harp Between Heaven and Gold

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello Kaytings

. Thank you for entering this month's contest. You are this month's winner. Your entry best navigated the musical extremes of danger and delight, blessing and toxicity.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "A Harp Between Heaven and Gold"

Did you answer the question?

Yes in a poem/psalm you expressed how the One whom we enthrone as the object of our worship determines whether music is a blessing or danger to us.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

I could hear your voice.

How consistent was your argument?

This contest forced me to choose between systematic puritanical seriousness, someone immersed in the world of contemporary music but with no physical/theological connection to contemporary forms of corporate worship and a psalmist who articulated the heart of worship in a poem. Only the psalmist, you, seemed to express the sacrifice, joy and reverence at the heart of God glorifying worship and truly understand the blessings and dangers of music

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

Music is both something that extends awareness beyond the boundaries of what we can articulate and something our hearts can channel towards the object of our praise. You grasped how the intensity of our own souls can be a danger to us. We can self indulgently explore the emotions that sounds provoke without awe or devotion towards our greater God. It is the object of our worship that heals, transforms and teaches our hearts. A focus on God works and one on the world does not.

I was in the local university this week at a public lecture discussing the German philosopher Cassirer and pluralism. The man believed we were animals with symbols. The symbols we constructed could be pregnant with the potentiality of freedom or degenerate and inflexible like Nazism. The man had little understanding of absolute truth and none of how a religious perspective might set boundaries and shape cultures in a more ultimate way. He was happy to let his symbols emerge from cultures and for individuals to download the subjective truths of the cultures they inhabit, critically examining their value for the individual life but without reflecting too deeply on whether they were true or not. I felt the same thing applies to the world of music. We create idols like the Golden Calf that you alluded to, some are more persistent than others, some are more helpful than others as a self-help resource, yet ultimately all crumble as time passes. Only the songs that reach through the fog of culture and to the Divine are remembered forever and have any eternal value. As you said in your poem, a broken chord from a shepherd, a drum in honest hands may glorify the living God more than perfect performances within the parameters of the musical cultures we have subscribed to, without really understanding why.

Your poem was flexible enough to accommodate the different styles of worship through the ages. The constancy between the styles being with a God who was more than any cultural expression of his glory could articulate. Chant knew this truth, so did the psalmist David standing before the Light, as do the louder and more passionate worshippers of today when they truly dance in Gods presence. So, as you said, let the Church discern with care not chasing style or fear, for judgment rests not on the song but on the ruling King.

I found myself quite immersed in your poem as every line was well considered and the rhythm of the whole worked very well. I wonder what genre this could be sung in. It is too theologically astute to be a Pentecostal chorus. Too passionate to be a chant, too flexible and endowed with emotions and drum beats to fit the hymn and organ motif. Maybe I would have to go back to the open countryside of a simple shepherd alone with a harp guarding his sheep and singing to the open heavens to find a tune for this.

Mechanical issues

I liked this just the way it is.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4854411

Review of Form, Function and Final Purpose

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello Surgec68

. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Form, Function and Final Purpose"

Did you answer the question?

You provided a logically consistent argument that examined the form and function of music with the view that its ultimate function is to promote God's glory. You differentiated between worship (our active state of being) and a worship period in which music might be used or misused. Good music leads us beyond our capacity to reason without distracting our minds from God. Music has a formative power but the individual maintains the capacity to resist or embrace its effects.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

The Romans 12:1-2 quotes were directly referenced. Psalm 88 and 150 were referred to and the gospel account of Peter walking on water was also referenced. You may have used AI in research but the final text appears humanly generated.

How consistent was your argument?

This was very logical and systematic with a clear structure revolving around form, function and final purpose.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

I appreciated the consistency and depth of your thinking here. You rejected shallow emotionalism, music as mere entertainment, or the manipulations of human preferences and obviously take worship very seriously. You showed an appreciation of the formative power of art and music and are focused on God's glory as the final purpose of worship.

“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor:10:31 (NASB)

As I read your essay I was thinking it mirrored Newtons mechanistic universe. The teleological strength of your argument was that it articulated an impeccable functional-instrumental theology of music that was entirely valid. But I felt that you underplayed music's creational goodness and its sacramental resonance which the church has experienced through its long history. You understood that music shapes affections before it shapes propositions and can prepare the heart for truth or lies. You understood that human agents, made in Gods image, are actively engaged with how they receive and use music. This fitted your broadly instrumental view of what music is.

I felt that you did not really understand how music could also be a gift from God and good in itself. It may glorify God without us being able to trace a path through it to the Divine. We can appreciate God's beauty and the beauty with which He has endowed creation without necessarily being able to integrate that into a scholastic system. That recognition and appreciation of beauty or goodness is prior to considerations of how humans steward the use of music. Music is justified by more than our mere perception of how it might glorify God. It can be something beautiful, truthful and ordered in itself, a reason for thanks and praise beyond human articulation. Birds sing in the forest in tune with the wind stirring the leaves of the trees and God alone hears their hymns of praise.

The essay title gave a binary choice of blessing and danger. Your strategy towards music was more to avoid its dangers rather than to experience its delights. Maybe this contrasts to some extent with the exuberant joy of Psalm 150 from which you quoted and also from the image of David dancing before the Lord in wild abandon dressed only in skimpy clothing. His own wife, Michal, was dismayed at his lack of form and function and did not see that his heart was for the Lord. She was punished for this by being rendered barren.

And David was dancing before the Lord with all his strength, and David was wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with joyful shouting and the sound of the trumpet.

16 Then it happened, as the ark of the Lord was coming into the city of David, that Michal the daughter of Saul looked down through the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she was contemptuous of him in her heart. 2 Samuel 6:14-16 - NASB

Strong emotion does not need rational justification if it is orientated toward the Lord. Emotions need to be redeemed and intensified not merely restrained.

Good music is healing for the soul even if its connection with the glory of God may not be obvious in the moment.

Mechanical issues

Your quote from Psalm 88 saying that it ended with the line that darkness is my closest friend is misleading because of the translation you used. This translation is found in the NIV (also NSRV) and is in effect an interpretative emotional rendering of the original Hebrew. It softens the language of the harsher original text by suggesting darkness offers the quality of friendship.

The actual verse reads:

You have removed lover and friend far from me;
My acquaintances are in a hiding place. (NASB)

The NASB translation is generally considered superior by people who have studied the texts as a rendering of what was actually originally said. Because it adds no metaphor, does not personify darkness, preserves the poetic violence of the ending and respects the psalm's unresolved despair. Other good versions here are the ESV and NKJV

The Net bible is generally not as good a translation but it offers transparency and notes of all the original texts and so makes the debate about the meaning of the text and choice of reading transparent.

The NASB generally uses a better hierarchy for evaluating a greater number of texts that other translations. Its approach does not speculate but follows clear conservative decision making principles. It's version hierarchy is not formally stated, but evident in practice:

Gospel confessional usage - Christ as key to understanding OT prophecy.
(MT) Masoretic Text (BHS/BHQ)
Dead Sea Scrolls (where extant)
(LXX) Septuagint
Syriac Pes***ta
Vulgate
Targums

Normally it uses the longer more repetitive MT. But if that is unintelligible or contested then it moves down the hierarchy. This is a considerable debate in itself and might even be worth a contest discussion in itself, There is a lot of passion on every side. My concern is to be as true as possible to the authors original intent and then to try and understand how that might apply today. So ethical, interpretative, or emotional renderings of the text are something I try and avoid. But as with the Psalm 88 example it can have important effects on the interpretative task.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4853463

Review of Chapter 1 Redemption for the Rising Sun

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, Lillian

. This is a review of "Chapter 1 Redemption for the Rising Sun" by suggestion from Amethyst Angel ♡

from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Set in the fifties, just after the war with Japan, in the deep Southern state of South Carolina. This story starts with lunch on the terrace with a PI called Phillip Gamon and his wife Anna, Keiko Carpenter, a Japanese wife to a Marine at the local Camp Beauregard Marine Corps Base. Anna's Italian and follows a long line of excellent cooks on her mothers side. Keiko seems to be hiding mysteries behind long sleeves and dark glasses.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is a fascinating journey back in time to the fifties where the racist prejudice against Japanese people was still alive and well in a military culture still reeling from the attack on Pearl Harbor that started WW2. Phillip and Anna are painted as the good guys here with Anna in the driving street from the character perspective.

Born Anna Rosa Ophelia Maria Cecilia Elisabetta Mattalagni Anna sounds like she came from one of those big Italian families that try and remember all their key relatives in the naming of their daughter. With the looks of Sophia Loren and the culinary and entertaining skills of an Italian Mama Mia she seems like the perfect fifties housewife. The discontinuity with her Catholic past is in her Born again experience which integrates her into the church culture of the Baptist Bible Belt. It is this faith that allows her to see the person behind the stereotype that everyone else has placed on Keiko. She seems to have acquired her husbands curiosity and observational skills - or was that the reason she married him in the first place, so she could share in his mission?

Her husband Phillip is a Private Investigator with a mission to help those who have no voice. Tutored by the big city he now has his own practice in the local town where he aims to serve. Since the incomes of such people were mainly based on who was cheating on whom in that era the mystery of Keiko must have been a welcome distraction and more in tune with his heart felt goals. A decade in the big city would take him back to the war in which he presumably served as a conscript giving him a connection with the military culture of the Marine base along with having been born in the town. His skill set might place him with the Military Police which would help on the Marine base if true. The conscription period was the war plus six months so maybe he could only have been in the big city nine years rather than ten and that assumes he has only just arrived in South Carolina Smallville which does not fit the story line, so eight years seems more realistic.

Tiny doll like Keiko is painted as the victim in this piece. She inherits the racist prejudice of her people in a context that has good reason to remember the bad stuff the Japanese Empire did. She appears to be married to an abusive Marin Sergeant, Gary Carpenter, but is careful to conceal her bruises. She only opens up when Gary is not around indicating a terror not to offend an insecure control freak of a husband. Japanese culture has taught her to worship her man. Okinawans are not regarded as pure Japanese by Japanese people themselves. It was a separate kingdom with its own identity for much of its history, the Ryukyu Kingdom. So I wonder if Keiko is actually no stranger to racial prejudice and may have experienced it even from the military of the Japanese Empire also.

Her husband Gary may be one of those soldiers who has seen too much war, spilt too much blood and allowed the darkness to swallow his soul. There does not seem to be any love in the man. His story might be interesting or might read like a litany of poor excuses that a better man than himself would have handled better.

This seems like a credible enough scenario. You communicated the arrogance and isolationism of American fifties culture very well. This resonates very well with Trumps USA today. If you are writing for that audience I guess this will not matter to you, but somehow I think this book is about challenging prejudice rather than reinforcing it. My impression is that Americans always underestimate the little guy, the poor man and the underdog. This is probably why it is usually these people that catch them out - Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, 911, Putin.

I guess the title implies that Keiko is going to get saved by Anna and Phillip. The story is therefore about how that happens.

Mechanical issues

You are partly telling this story from the perspective of Anna and partly narrating it. Other reviewers will tell you to adopt a more show rather than tell approach to this. So you could rewrite the chapter from the perspective of Anna looking around at the others, remembering the back story and saying what she can see. This draws the reader in more effectively that simply telling them what is going on. Make them feel it and see it, basically.

So take this sentence:
Anna was a tall woman who reveled in feeding others - The two parts of the sentence are not related and you have skipped from Anna's POV to the God view and narrated a description of Anna.

Later you describe the husband:
Anna Rosa Gamon was almost as tall as Phillip, with long brown curly hair that danced about her shoulders in the warm spring breeze

So a show rather than tell approach might rewrite this something like this:

Anna Rosa Gamon looked up at her husband who was a head taller than most men. She was the tall girl at school that intimidated the shorter boys but with Phillip she could look up and feel truly feminine. She loved the way he would comment on the long brown curly hair that danced about her shoulders in the warm spring breeze. He brought out the woman in her and evoked a gratitude and love that lit up the heavens when she stared into his eyes.

You need to watch your tenses. You have paragraphs with mixed tenses.

Spelling mistake:
Hiss attention focused on a cookie

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4852264

Review of YUIMETAL: "The Fall"

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, OxTxFxGxK

. This is a review of "YUIMETAL: "The Fall"" by invitation from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The essay is an overview of the evolution of the Gen Z Japanese music band Babymetal. It focuses on how Yuimetal left due to injury and was replaced by Momometal who brought new vocal possibilities to the band

Commentary

I was a litte puzzled why you asked me to review this. I am Gen X and British-German and not exactly tuned into the Japanese “kawaii metal”/J-pop/Heavy Metal culture. I had to look up all the people you were talking about to understand what you meant. A number of things struck me as odd about this culture on first impressions.

First there was the distinction between the real and stage names of the characters. The ways in which the band weaves its music into a mythological presentation of each band member was fascinating. But on reflection this seemed like pure marketing working with selected musical talent of the high energy metal music genre. It was a clever way to add sales and cement presence. The branding slots neatly into the merchandising/touring strategy and it seems this band is internationally acclaimed even though I have never heard of it before now

SU-METAL (Suzuka Nakamoto) - Leader - "The Queen" or "Fox gods chosen" representing seriousness, authority and metal purity.
MOAMETAL (Moa Kikuchi) - The fun one - light joy and connection
YUIMETAL (Yui Mizuno) - innocence, balance, and symmetry - adds a dark chapter to the bands story of injury and forced change.
MOMOMETAL (Momoko Okazaki) - youth and high energy - renewal and continuity

Kobametal - Key Kobayashi - conceived, created and now controls the band as a corporate project for Amuse Inc

The second thing that struck me was a parallel with my favorite football club Manchester united. The Man U scarf includes a black stripe remembering the Munich Air disaster when the Busby Babes were killed. It is now a part of the story of one of the most successful and richest football clubs in the world. The sense of tragedy makes the club interesting. Babymetal has its own dark stripe with the story of Yuimetals injury and eventual departure - but as you say this allowed the entry of a new singer who gave new options to the band and arguably contributed to its success.

Thirdly there was the using idolatry to make money theme. Obviously the band is a corporate creation that has somehow developed and thrived despite the inherent falsity that comes with that. Its success seems to be built on really effective business management. I was never a pop fan, I never remember the words, only Christian songs seem to stick in my head. So the idolatry endemic in the British pop scene never really worked with me. Even today I do not understand the fascination and devotion of pop fandom. The band blends leadership, laughter and life in its characters and seems to resonate with Gen Z subscribers around the world. That is actually mysterious to me. Maybe I should actually listen to one of the songs to see what all the fuss is about and may do so after writing this review.

So your essay seems to be that of a high end fan, enamored with the band and fascinated by its mythology and music but not to the point of self-awareness yet. Surely you realize that idols are made by human creativity and can just as easily be destroyed by time, circumstance and decision. They are not worthy of the religious affection that fans give them.

But this insight led me deeper to review Japan as a whole. The church presence there is small, dating back to Jesuits in the 16th century. It is remarkable it survived through the centuries. But the majority are Shinto-Buddhist which to me is a distinctively Japanese form of atheism. The Japanese people live under a theologically speaking empty sky and so moments of pleasure in a nihilistic universe are the best that they can hope for. This band is one such island of light in the darkness. From a Christian perspective it seems almost unbelievable that a whole generation of souls could want to live like that without any sense of ultimate meaning, belonging or identity.

With that in mind I took a look at the lyrics of the most reflective songs of the band. "No Rain, No Rainbow" for example deals with loneliness, hope, loss and inner struggle. "Starlight" was vague about where guidance and significance came from and "Elevator girl" is playful on the surface but recognizes that life has its ups and downs. These seem more descriptive of the existential crisis of Gen Z Japanese youth than prescriptively giving any kind of solutions to their situation. If you want hope go elsewhere was the clear conclusion for me.

Thanks for asking me to review this

Mechanical issues

Was well structured like a humanized AI report on the band with a high end fans perspective on the bands story.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4850237

Review of The Moral Spine

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello Surgec68

. Thank you for entering this month's contest. Congratulations on your victory in this months contest. You won because you were the only one to provide a truly coherent root and branch argument to answer the question. Also you uncovered the greatest weakness in Trump's position his attitude toward forgiveness. In a world where all are sinners, those who cannot forgive cannot be forgiven. Trump might not be pure evil by the strictest definitions but he is in trouble if he does not change his view on this matter.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "The Moral Spine"

Did you answer the question?

Yes and not just on the superficial level of pointing a finger at Trump but quite systematically, looking at the entire basis on which judgment and mercy are founded.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

There was a good biblical framework to this answer and also quotes from Greg Bahnsen and Athanasius.

How consistent was your argument?

You were quite systematic in preparing the basis of any criticism of Trump dwelling not on salacious rumors or contested accusations but rather on Trump's own declarations and specifically how God and man should judge enemies.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

You were absolutely right to insist that any serious moral judgment must be grounded in a coherent moral framework.

I appreciated the way you examined and rejected some alternatives to a Christian moral vision. Some might argue that this section was unnecessary and consumed space better spent on Scripture itself, but in this context I think it served as an important preamble.

You rightly dismissed preference-based moral relativism as expressing personal approval or disapproval rather than truth. You also challenged consensus-based appeals to the “greater good,” exposing their dependence on vague standards, unexamined assumptions, and the interests of elites who often benefit from them. Likewise, you rejected outsourcing moral judgment to experts as a form of conformity, borrowing moral authority without grounding it in either the self or God. Your preamble contextualizes your answer into the modern West and would not be as effective in China, India or the Muslim world for instance.

Where the essay became somewhat long-winded was in its articulation of Christian morality itself. The reasoning was careful and systematic, but it missed a crucial dimension: how God’s righteousness and moral will are incarnated into the human condition through Christ. Christian morality is not only revealed law or abstract principle; it is embodied, fulfilled, and clarified in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

That said you rightly grounded morality in God’s glorious nature, His holiness, righteousness, truth, justice, and love, made known through Scripture and the Spirit. God’s unmatched glory gives humanity its purpose and gives weight to moral claims. His love, which permeates His judgments, explains both justice and mercy, and ought to shape how we regard others.

You also addressed the Mosaic Law and the spirit in which obedience should be understood. Here you rightly emphasized that orthopraxy and orthopathy matter as much as orthodoxy. However, the clearest Christian account of why some laws no longer apply and others do is found in Christ Himself: in the new covenant, in His fulfillment of the ceremonial and sacrificial law, and in the outward turning of God’s people toward the Gentiles. Laws that marked Israel as distinct, such as food laws, were no longer necessary once the people of God became a missionary rather than an ethnically bounded community.

Your definition of evil follows Augustine: evil is not merely bad behavior but a turning away from the nature of God.

Within this framework, you assessed the fruit of Donald Trump’s life. You argued that his judgments are not motivated by the love that characterizes God as judge, nor by righteousness or justice, but by pride and personal grievance. Those who oppose him are condemned not for objective wrongdoing but for perceived disloyalty or insult. This vindictive posture appears persistent rather than occasional. He does not forgive; he retaliates. There is a long list of court cases against media organizations that have dared to question or oppose him including the recent $5bn case against the BBC. He uses law to intimidate and shut people up. This raises serious questions: how can one receive God’s mercy while refusing to extend it? How can one accept Christ’s sacrifice while rejecting its logic of grace toward the undeserving?

Where I think the argument falters is in its apparent conflation of sin and evil. Scripture teaches that all are sinners (Romans 3:10, 23), but evil refers to something deeper than ordinary sinfulness. The Bible distinguishes degrees and kinds of moral corruption. A genuinely evil person loves evil, sins deliberately and without repentance, hardens their heart against truth, corrupts others, and calls evil good and good evil. Ordinary sinners, by contrast, know they are wrong, even when they repeat their sins, and recognize their need for forgiveness. Importantly, Scripture does not portray any human being as evil in the same way Satan and his demons are. Human beings remain redeemable through repentance. It might have strengthened your argument to quote examples where Trump has said he has never sought forgiveness from God, does not believe he has done anything wrong. Biblically this is an absolutely unsustainable conviction as we have all done something wrong.

The question posed was whether Trump is evil, not merely whether he has borne evil fruit. Your argument seems to suggest that his persistent vindictiveness is so fundamental to his character that it constitutes his identity. That may be possible, but we cannot know this with certainty. Most people sin persistently while still knowing their actions are wrong. To suggest that Trump’s condition is irreversible or unforgivable risks moving beyond what Scripture allows us to claim. Final judgment belongs to God, and Christians are called to leave room for mercy.

There is also the matter of mixed fruit. Trump has taken actions that many Christians believe have benefited the Church or protected persecuted believers. If his fruit is not uniformly bad, that complicates any absolute judgment about his moral identity.

To some extent, the essay’s title invited a prophetic tone that private individuals cannot fully justify, since we lack prophetic authority and cannot see the heart. That may be an unavoidable cost of framing the question so starkly, and I do not regret the theological reflection it provoked, particularly on God’s justice, but the limitation should be acknowledged.

Finally, Trump’s public office matters morally. The use of authority to restrain genuine threats to the common good, such as organized crime or violence, is not morally equivalent to the pursuit of personal vendettas. Christian moral evaluation must distinguish between the two.

Despite these concerns, I found this to be a strong and thoughtful essay, your best submission so far, and one that raises serious and necessary questions about judgment, power, justice, and mercy within a Christian moral framework.

Mechanical issues

Nothing that majorly distracted from the content.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4850236

Review of ruwth is writing...

for entry "Exploring The Question: Is Trump Good Or Evil?"

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hello ruwth

. Thank you for entering this month's contest. Congratulations on being the runner up in this months contest. Your argument was at the same level as Amethyst Angel ♡

but you created polls and opinion surveys and put a great deal of effort into what you did which I thought should be recognized this month.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Exploring The Question: Is Trump Good Or Evil?"

Did you answer the question?

Yes by defining evil in terms of the harm it causes and then examining the fruit of Trump from that perspective. You ended by expressing the conviction that we do not really know and that Trump's fruit seemed to be a mixed bag.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You used a wide variety of sources to inform this effort including AI, a survey you created, email feedback and right at the end of your piece two Bible quotes from Romans and Isaiah that basically suggested that since no one is righteous it would be hard to single Trump out. I have to say I am grateful for the publicity you generated and for your essay also.

How consistent was your argument?

The consistency in your argument was in your appeal to a consensus that does not really exist when it comes to Trump. People seem to love or hate him. He is the Marmite of American politics. The use of Chat GPT definitions I would also regard as a different kind of consensus drawn from the assumptions underlying the AIs Language Model.

I loved your polls and opinion trawling because it publicized my contest and showed that you cared about the question and the answers. You showed considerable industry I would not want to discourage that now or in the future. However the assumption you made is that the people you asked could provide you a better answer than scripture for example. It seems you came to a more accurate answer only at the end of the process and after having digested some unsatisfying and often ill constructed opinions. Your final view was more on the lines that we do not know if Trump is evil and his fruit appears to be mixed. This seems like an honest answer to me but the rest of your essay did not really support the conclusion.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

The Chat GPT definition of evil is ethically serious but theologically shallow and has various weaknesses from a Christian perspective. For example evil is not about harm but rather about rebellion from God, intentionality is overemphasized at the expense of sinful nature, there is no reference to the existence of the Devil or indeed a spiritual sense of evil that is not merely secular. This definition treats evil as a concept rather than a spiritual reality. This definition is incomplete without reference to God's holiness, judgment or accountability to God. AI is not an authority unless it is programmed with the correct Christian parameters, respecting mainstream doctrine, scripture and church teaching and tradition. The Merriam-Webster definition was also merely secular conflating moral evil with non-moral negatives like discomfort, disagreeableness, inferiority, or plain bad luck. God and the devil were both missing. The term drifts toward an understanding of evil as a matter of reputation rather than actual theological guilt. A God centered definition talks in terms of rebellion and in terms of the world the flesh and the devil.

These secular definitions influenced the bias of your definition toward an assessment of harm rather than rebellion against God. You looked for an unbiased source to help you with your quest for answers but journalism now seems partisan, commentary is unbalanced and uninformed by a coherent moral framework. You suggested that Trump's lack of filters might actually be a good thing as his raw sincerity was a welcome contrast to a wooden hypocritical political correctness. So you were unconvinced by the harsh rhetoric regarding Epstein, Trump's narcissism and January 6th.

So in essence what I heard here was someone who consulted all the sources that the world has to offer but who ultimately was looking for a more balanced and coherent perspective like old style journalists used to provide. But in the process of looking for a consensus you picked up a faulty definition of evil focused on harm to others rather than rebellion from God. You also became aware that there was no agreement as to what that consensus actually was and in the end you suspected that negative voices tend to be louder than saner ones and that you might have been misled by their verdict. You came to a more balanced view but the way you got there was hardly systematic or rooted in the authorities I know you adhere to - e.g. scripture and a coherent Christian world view.

Mechanical issues

Focused on the substance.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4846018

Review of Can the Bible Be Trusted?

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hello Kaytings

. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Can the Bible Be Trusted? "

Did you answer the question?

Yes you normally answer with a poem but this time you wrote an essay.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

This was written in your style and with your voice.

How consistent was your argument?

Your arguments began with a reference to the undoubted impact and significance, across multiples times and cultures, of the Bible. While there are ongoing historical discussions your view was that the Bible was historically credible. You affirmed its ethical clarity while also admitting to the more difficult discussions. You answered scientific critiques with a faith in miracles and an understanding that scripture was not a scientific textbook but rather had a different focus. The spiritual impact of the bible on billions in different cultures and times is undeniable, in it we hear a whisper older than our doubts. So yes we can trust the bible but should not do so naively, rather we should walk the old road with open eyes.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

You argue holistically and soulfully in a poetic style about authority. You do allude to concrete evidences such as;
-the extent and depth of the geographical and Historical impact on multiple cultures
-The sheer volume and quality of the manuscript evidence
But your argument, in the main, lacks specificity and details of concrete discoveries that might affirm the points you make. You refer to experts that have done the hard work for you like the biblical archaeologist William Foxwell Albright. You trust their conclusions without a substantive review of their evidences.

Your trust could be described as a simple faith. This is fine and an answer to the question but who are you trusting here? You are not trusting Western academic theologians nor even the teaching authorities of the major denominations where traditional understandings have been disputed in the last three centuries.

Indeed you ignore the theological debates and discussions of the last three hundred years that have eroded traditional understandings of Bible authority. Your ethical section could be summarized - the bible speaks with ethical clarity but there are some unspecified troubling issues with simply affirming that. That is really just an party position/opinion that asserts faith over doubt without engaging with any examples. So why do you trust the conservatives over the various German liberals that have brought a wrecking ball to traditional affirmations of biblical authority over the last three hundred years? I think you are right to trust them as there are answers to all the various critiques of biblical authority that have been made, but you do not demonstrate any kind of ownership of these arguments or why they are more credible here.

I found your scientific section especially superficial. A good read here might be Lennox's "Seven Days of Creation that Divided the World." Genesis 1-11, even if interpretated in the Mythopoetic style of a literary framework, sets certain boundaries. For example Aristotle had a steady state view of the universe and this was the mainstream scientific viewpoint for more than two millennia. But the Bible speaks of a beginning. Science only accepted this in the last century with Big Bang Theory. So separating science and bible in terms of how and why might miss the boundaries set in scripture that explain things better than science does. Similarly today the immaterial information that defines the irreducible complexity of a cell or our DNA is explained in biblical terms in terms of a transcendent Creator who spoke into the void and created all life with a word. There is no realistic, merely natural explanation for the consistency, functionality and indeed origin of this information source from within nature itself.

Your strongest arguments were to say that if God exists then miracles are possible and if he does not exist then they are not. So faith is at the root of how we approach the Bible. Also that the personal resonance of scripture across multiple cultures and times testifies to its authority. Your personal walk with God has demonstrated to you how powerfully the Bible speaks into your experience, answers your deepest questions /doubts and shows you the pathways out of the most complex of moral mazes. But why should someone who does not share your personal victories in the walk of faith regard the bible as trustworthy?

Mechanical issues

Nothing major to say here.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4846017

Review of Can The Bible Be Trusted?

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hello Surgec68

. Thank you for entering this month's contest. Congratulations on being the runner up in this months contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Can The Bible Be Trusted?"

Did you answer the question?

You focused on the bits you thought that you could defend and gave a reasonable defence of the New Testament based on how it came to be put together and recognised by the church as authoritative.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You might have used AI in researching this but it felt human how it was put together and argued.

How consistent was your argument?

Your argument focused on the ways and criteria by which the canon of New Testament scripture was formed and agreed on by the early church. You suggested that this added a credibility to the claim the Bible was true and trustworthy. You avoided a discussion of Old Testament authority with a clear implication that would be a harder task to accomplish due to conflicts with modern science. Bible books were mainly written by apostles, were consistent with each other, were in widespread usage and bore the mark of the Holy Spirit. You alluded to apocryphal and pseudonymous scriptures and to a mindset which regarded the Bible as invented legends. But the bible was not given in a vacuum but rather in a geographically and culturally diverse context. It came to be affirmed in its current form via communal usage and recognition of its intrinsic worth and accuracy. The process itself jettisoned less authentic attempts to duplicate the literature and interpreted the events described in the New Testament as literal rather than legendary. In the end the Bible speaks to the whole of our lives and reveals God and our acceptance or rejection of it depends on whether we accept Him or not.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

I was intrigued by the way you presented the two ways we could read the emergence of consensus on the authority of scripture. On the one hand they might have been fabricated legends and on the other directly inspired by God's Holy Spirit and a witness to the incarnate God-Man with us who is Jesus Christ. There is no no-mans land between these two positions and the reader must choose between doubt and faith between recognising and accepting the God revealed in scripture or denying Him. I agree that reading the Bible is an encounter experience where we meet the One who inspired them and either move closer or further away.

Approaching this argument from the perspective of the formation of the canon was an intriguing way to argue the position. It contrasts with the Muslim version of revelation that was dictation and in which there was a top-down purge of alternate texts by the Muslim caliphs. The Christian version of inspiration was tried and tested by an emerging spiritual community while the Muslim one was dictated and then imposed by established political authorities. The Christian model is the more credible because of the transparency of the audit trail and historical discussions that leads to the final text while the Muslim process is opaque and insists on being blindly accepted.

I did not find your argument that convincing however because of the issues that your essay dodged. The implication of your implied choice to focus on the New Testament was that the Old testament was scientifically indefensible. So it seems that you did not address what you actually regard as the most serious challenge to scriptural authority. You did not use historical arguments that show that both the Old and New Testament texts were revealed in verifiable historical contexts, speaking of people who actually existed and are not therefore merely mythical but rather grounded and plausible. Similarly you did not address any of the major debates that exist about specific issues of biblical credibility, hermeneutics or historicity that rage in Western theological circles.

In effect I felt you simply replaced the individual Muhammad's claim regarding the Quran, this is the word of God, with the communal churches claim that the New Testament is the word of God- accept it or reject it - there is no middle ground. But you did not give us arguments as to why it might be more reasonable or plausible to accept this rather than reject it.

In the end faith is crucial. Christians and non-Christians both witnessed Christ's miracles. The first gave glory to God and the latter proclaimed them magic tricks inspired by the Devil to mislead Israel. The first declared Divine inspiration and the latter attributed it to evil. The choice between the two was real enough and Christians won that argument hands down. The evidence that the world has found the Christian argument more convincing than that of the Rabbis is a matter of comparing billions with millions. The question of inspiration is no longer the real choice most people face. Most non Christians have indeed decided to go off on completely different tangents rather than accept the parameters of this choice. Arguing faith to a Western scientific minded atheist, to a Hindu, to a Chinese ideologically minded Communist/Buddhist or Daoist or indeed to a Muslim requires a more comprehensive set of tools than the ones you used here.

A Muslim will suggest the Bible has been corrupted and this is why it contradicts the Quran, though they cannot provide before or after examples of said corruption nor explain how the best bits of their own text appear borrowed from various preexistent Christian literature.

A scientifically minded liberal Western atheist will ignore the discussion of inspiration and ask if the claims contained in scripture are scientifically credible or if they offend against a secular mutilation of morality phrased around a liberal notion of choice. Exposing the limits of the scientific method and the quagmire of materialistic reductionism, moral relativism and egoism at the heart of the so-called moral objections of atheists to the message of the Bible is the apologetic task there.

A Hindu will drown you in endless examples of Hindu scriptures and just see the bible as one more text in an enormous library. They will talk in terms of metaphor rather than historical reality. Showing the historical credibility of scripture as opposed to myths about monkey gods building causeways to Sri-Lanka is the task there.

A Chinese Communist might have more problems with passages like the one where Jesus forgives an adulterous woman about to be stoned as it questions the monopoly of state authorities on law and order matters. They will look at scripture in terms of how its ethics serve the Communist cause and will seek to draft it in distinctively Chinese ways. They will mainly miss or misunderstand the vertical/theological dimension of scripture living as they do under a empty sky. Their views will be colored by the experience and damage caused by the Taiping rebellion. The political task here is to show how the bible respects established authorities, values care for the poor - a prominent socialist theme and generally encourages people to work hard and pay their taxes. It is from that foundation that deeper issues can then be explored.

A liberal Western theologian will slice and dice how the bible was formed, and will argue about what historical sources can be traced, will lose you in debates about authorship - timing and intent. They will talk about how the text should be redrafted through an anti-supernatural lens, will dispute the plain meaning of the text and accepted traditions of the early church proclaiming that they know better and see more clearly what was really going on. Indeed such people often think themselves smarter than the God who inspired the texts. They will justify whatever worldly agenda is popular today by utilizing trajectory hermeneutics that make the Bible a source of proof texts for that agenda. Exposing their pride, dishonesty with the texts and traditions and a problematic tendency to speculate is the task here.

These are the main objectors to the Bible today but your essay did not address them.

Mechanical issues

Focused on the substance here.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4844237

Review of What Kind of Book is the Bible?

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello, revdbob

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"What Kind of Book is the Bible?" was selected by choice. I have the following comments to offer.

I picked up this essay because I just read Jordan Petersens, "We who wrestle with God." He has a similar outlook on scripture and tends to see it through a lens that values the deep psychological archetypes that underpin the bible stories and by extension are the foundation of Western civilization. Of course this is an old tradition with Origen's allegorization taking a similar approach for example. In a Western culture, where science, because of its great success within its own sphere, has overextended its scope into areas that cannot be tested by the scientific method, have we lost sight of the power of metaphor and the relationship with God that is offered through the words? We have gotten so hung up on the debate about literal authenticity that we have lost sight of the life changing implications of words that reveal God to us, that show us who He is and always will be and offer us connection to eternity. I enjoyed your essay and thanks also for sharing the responses that it evoked.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4844236

Review of God Had to Have a Weird Sense of Humour

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Hello, Kaytings

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"God Had to Have a Weird Sense of Humour " was selected by choice. I have the following comments to offer.

Was not sure if this was a poem or a psalm. There was a depth of reflection here that is rarely married to light hearted phraseology and humor but it seemed to work. God is the one who is laughing here, but with us, not in mockery. We are children learning to walk, awkward steps and big grins on our faces as we make it to the table on the other side of the room. Our Divine parent watches enthralled smiling with us as we take the steps and even when we fall and cry, He is there picking us up and urging us to try again, that smile on His face, that laughter in His heart. Exquisite phrasing helps open hearts and minds to the message here, and a skillful use of binary opposites to a vertical relationship characterized by joy though suffering and hopeful romantic verses even without a beloved. And so you acquire patience by delay, strength by breaking, joy in the ashes, peace beneath the noise. I guess my favorite line was this one:

To break me open just enough,
For light to get in...

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4844234

Review of Parabol

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hello, Kurty

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"Parabol" was selected by choice. I have the following comments to offer.

You share two atheist parables that expose the weakness of most atheist arguments against God.

The first relates to a doorkeeper who himself is unaware of the bliss which he sells. His message is simply walk through the door but he lacks empirical evidence that the product that he is pushing is authentic. The small room behind the door only contains a toilet where the happiness is a bowel movement. I found it hard to take this story seriously as it was in effect an insulting strawman argument. Jesus came back from the other side and the risen Lord and the Spirit of God can inform our decisions also. Also the moral of the first parable, that happiness is different for different people does not apply to the extreme cases of heaven and hell as an eternal destination.

The second parable assumes that the oldest caveman knew how life began and why people suffered. But the exploration to find him only resulted in the death of the warrior sent out to do this. That curiosity was bad in this case seems counter intuitive for an atheist to argue since they generally pride themselves as being more enlightened than those who do not seek empirical verification of their deepest beliefs.

I am not sure why you advertised these in terms of humorous philosophy as the do not promote what you claim to have discovered in atheism and are only funny through the filter of mockery. They make dubious assumptions about the religious approach and propose straw man arguments that are easy to refute.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4844233

Review of The Game

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Hello, Kotaro

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"The Game" was selected by from a list of items by choice. I have the following comments to offer.

Maybe the police have reason to believe that the justice system is broken and exonerates the guilty or the the rich too often. But choosing to become as dark as those they judge is only a mistake if you consider the story from a religious perspective. And gangsters and corrupt cops have little time for that. Taking justice into their own hands these policemen arrange a strange game in which one by one those who beat the court system are judged by their peers. In the survivors we find reasons to doubt whether they deserved capital punishment for the crimes of others or petty theft driven by forced necessity. I liked the story which was hypnotically well written holding me enthralled from start to end. It kind of reminded me of Squid games though I think you wrote this before that series was conceived.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4841957

Review of The Image in the Mirror

Review by LightinMind

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello Kaytings

. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "The Image in the Mirror " You are the winner this month, though the other entry was also a strong one and addressed my question more comprehensively. It was your positive hymn like focus that swayed me, maybe because the grimy details of this discussion, though necessary, do not really address the central issue of how gender is a part of the created design and has a life giving value.

Did you answer the question?

Yes with a more positive, poetic, upward focus that centered on God's original gender design and considered all man's efforts to change that in that light.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You are regular poet and this reads as humanly authentic with a depth of reflection that aligns more with human craftsmanship than typical AI generated content.

How consistent was your argument?

This was more a hymn of praise and a prayer than a scientific analysis of the issues. In essence your argument was that God made us one way that is written into our biology. That man's pursuit of a phantom grace for the praise of dust is an ultimately futile and self-defeating goal that renders a person pale and weak and a seed that dies upon unfertile soil.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

This was a Christian poem and one with which I was in broad agreement. It was also a beautifully crafted poem with memorable lines and phrasing. In short I loved it. This kind of poem is harder for me to critique. So I will break things down by how you answered the question.

My first thought was that your answer was much better than the way I phrased the question. You focused on the original design and God's intention rather than on the problem of mutilated gender, of the psychological choice to push the artificial onto the natural and the exceptional cases of biological deformity where no gender can be determined in the natural configuration. You phrased the result of our mutilations of Gods design in terms of deep inauthenticity to our created identities and in terms of the creation of a seed that dies on infertile soil. Is it a reduced form of life if the potential for reproduction has been sliced out or chemically neutered?

The only thing the poem did not really cover were the extreme outsiders and there are rare examples. These are those for whom, from birth, no clear gender can be determined and not even a predominant one from the cards that nature dealt them. From a Christian viewpoint this can be explained in terms of a fallen and broken world. There will always be a neutered and infertile set of exceptions to the male and female separation in a fallen world. Because whether by mutilation or by birth some people simply do not fit the gender model. It would have spoilt the flow of your poem to address this issue and most people do not want to think about these. I guess the easy answer is that only God in His wisdom and with his healing grace can address their status and so in the meantime we simply need to respect them as children of God who are open to receive the same grace and mercy that the rest of us have access to.

Another thought I had about the approach you adopted was that it was quite an individualizing description of gender identity rather than one determined through a lens of relationship. It also looked backward to creation rather forward to the model of Jesus and His church. We have the model of our created identity in scripture and we also have a redeemed gender identity that is modeled on the interaction of Christ with his church. The groom and the bride is the symbol of gender relations in Ephesians 5 and in Revelation. In that picture of gender relations the identity of each gender is expressed in terms of how Christ and the church relate. The call on masculinity here is to initiate relationship, sacrifice for the good and sanctification of the other, to be responsible for and to protect the beloved and to a creative generosity with them. While the call on the feminine is to be open to receive love and life, to be fruitful, nurturing and transforming what is given and bringing it to fullness, to hand on what she receives, in her beauty and adornment to reflect back glory to the giver just as the church reflects the glory of Christ. The biblical version unites the genders as the masculine gives toward the feminine and the feminine receives and returns that gift, multiplied by love. This giving and receiving itself mirrors the eternal internal life of the Trinity. The bible in short has a sacramental understanding of gender that expresses the image of God in both male and female in a communion of love. Love gives, love receives, love bears fruit.

Mechanical issues

A poem really works here as there is a sacramental mystery to gender relations that is, to a considerable extent, far beyond the scope of scientific descriptive or prescriptive functionality.

My only mechanical question was related to the use of unfertile rather than barren. Your choice works but maybe the barren would be better here.

“A seed that dies upon the barren sand.”

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4838005

Review of It's All Derivative

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello Jeff

. Thank you for entering this month's contest. Congratulations on your victory this month. The other entry was as good as yours, but I thought you showed more realism about the usefulness of AI.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "It's All Derivative"

Did you answer the question?

Yes, essentially, you argue that there is nothing new under the sun and that all human efforts are derivative. Only God creates ex nihilo. Both AI and humans are simply repacking outputs into inputs. Only empathy saves the human writer from artistic oblivion, and our ability to interpret and give meaning.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

This reads as original work, and the spelling mistake indicates that you wrote it without a corrective tool.

How consistent was your argument?

This was short but consistent.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

As with Solomon, when he said the same in Ecclesiastes, I tend to disagree with your conclusions. Mainly because we do not live under an empty sky, and human actions in response to an infinite God and in a changing world, moving from beginning to end, will always have an element of creativity and surprise to them. We are, after all, made in God's image.

AI represents, if anything, a new creative frontier and a new set of writing tools, adding speed, scale, access, and testing possibilities for writers that have never existed before. This is more than just a time-to-market thing; a greater range of ideas, facts, and new synergies can be processed and contemplated like never before.

Humans may have devoted considerable historical energy to the invention of pantheons of demigods and superheroes. These perform in endless soap operas of mythical superhuman actions - humans connect to them in temples and rituals, with statues, dance, smells, bells, and around the campfires/TVs/Mobiles as they hear the stories told and retold. But as Christians, we believe in a God who authentically talks back and whose revelation is the perfect foundation and framework for creativity. Even if the world feels just like an endless churn of sequels to some historic epic, there was a moment when the thought was original and the story was being told for the first time. If we have a beginning and an end, then each unique story has its special place and moment. Shakespeare framed a version of English nationalism that still abides; Dickens added a social conscience for the poor of the Victorian era; Tolkien stretched our minds into a parallel universe of possibilities. In China, the Tale of the Three Kingdoms, following the fall of the Han, latched on to the abiding fear of disunity that haunts Chinese culture, and the Art of War is a timeless epic that encapsulates the wisdom of fighting that characterizes those interludes of chaos.

We needed the parallel universe of Tolkien and the language games of the philosopher Wittgenstein, and the invention of computers and the internet before we could envisage artificial intelligences able to process the entire knowledge of the world ínto new formats. That in itself is something new.

You focused on empathy as the human advantage. AI can, of course, create words that make people cry. Will a synthetic human with an AI brain offer a hug that feels the same in some distant future? Does it matter if the empathy is human or synthetic, or that it ministers to the felt need? Or is this all a matter of degree and the extent to which it no longer feels awkward or inauthentic?

Truly, we need one who dwells among us, who has experienced our finitude, pain, and mortality and has yet passed their tests, one who connects us to the infinite well of creativity, life, love, and light that is God Almighty and opens up the heavens to our thoughts and writing. In Christ, we have such a high priest. That AI might seek to imitate him seems impossible, and all its server farms will never be able to reach the boundaries of a universe made by the Creator of all and, at the same time, connect us to human flesh and blood with what sounds like the beating heart of a human being.

The flood of words today is overwhelming; finding the diamond in the coal mine is what matters. We do not want the empathy of ugly fake fools. The question becomes whose voice is this, and why should I listen? Resonance is the fruit of successful empathy, but it is also a matter of quality and connection to the Divine image that resides in all. With what authority/spirit does this person speak? Maybe this will change the way we write as we seek the soul of the author, test the extent to which he speaks into our times, place the metanarrative of his beliefs into a hierarchy, and review the credentials he offers against an infinite array of competitors. To stand out from the crowd, authenticity, connection, beauty and meaning will still matter as much in the future as they do now.

I cannot say exactly what writing and writers forums like this will look like in 25 years. But I suspect that they will host a good many excellent writers who develop stories never heard before and find new ways to connect readers to God, the Universe, and everyone. It is not just a matter of endless recombination to entertain but rather of connecting the reader to meaning in the here and now in a way that reaches out for eternity. In fact, that task will not be complete until the Kingdom Come.

Mechanical issues

You can have it summarize a bunch of self-help books on dealing with loss and simply simplify them into major bullet points.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4837433

Review of The Pursuit

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Hello, george

. This is a review of "The Pursuit" by invitation from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A police officer, Dan Bovinga, has a surreal dream. But what has this to do with his job?...

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Dan Bovinga is a police officer, asleep in a Toyota Camry, which probably marks him as a plainclothes officer, as the standard police force in the USA uses Ford, Chevrolet, or Dodge. That he is asleep in his car might imply a long stakeout. But we only have details from a rather disjointed dream to inform us why he might have been there. He is not alone, and the other officer, the police chief, wakes him up. He manages to lose a shoe, which drives the car away in the manner of a drunk driver without him noticing, because he is playing Minesweeper. His reports about the case are garbled nonsense filled with irrelevant details. He is walking around with one shoe on.

This is funny in a surreal kind of way, but utterly implausible. For me, that sabotages the comedic value as the twists and turns in the plot appear entirely random and unlikely. You have situated the story in a context that completely distracts from the storyline, and which is very hard to follow. There are too many details that are just wrong, and he does not behave at all according to normal police protocols. Since I know police people, it was very hard to connect to a story that seemed utterly divorced from their actual practice.

-A publicly recognisable police chief will not sit in a plainclothes officer vehicle, as that would completely blow the cover of the plainclothes officer he was with.
-Police do not use targeted EMPs, though the military does and maybe some agencies. But you are talking local police force here.
-No explanation is given why he was asleep in the first place.
-The dream sounds like he's tripping on LSD, and his reports and behavior are utterly unprofessional.
-A Toyota Camry is not fully autonomous and requires continuous driver intervention, so the scenario of it driving off by itself because of a shoe stuck under the pedal is unreal.

Some people might find the bizarre twists and turns of this story funny, but for me, it is just too much. His real life is just as bizarre and incoherent, in fact, as his dreams, and there is no respect for the context of actual policing.

The whole story read a little like a random event generator, only loosely integrated around the main character, Dan, and his car. I found it a little soulless, which again made it hard to laugh.

Mechanical issues

You join random unconnected clauses in the same sentences with no attempt to integrate. So either use shorter sentences or recast the sentences:

A man grabbed a dog from a shopping cart and threw it at Bovinga, he jumped up and caught the dog, falling over.

So, for example, this could look like this:

A man grabbed a dog from a shopping cart and threw it at Bovinga. Bovinga jumped up, caught the dog, and fell over.

“Oh, the humanity!” shouted a customer.

Caeser → Caesar.

minesweeper --> Minesweeper

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4837024

Review of Soaring High in the Sky

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, StephBee

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"Soaring High in the Sky" was selected from a list including the letter S. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

An eagle flies high in the sky over America. Soaring, hunting, rejoicing and adapting as life goes on.

Commentary

A Bible verse that came to me today from Proverbs 30:18-19

18There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
19how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

It is an amazing thing to consider that such a big bird can fly, drifting on the air currents and even soaring high into the sky on them.

Your poem marvels at the flight of an eagle, over the things that matter to it, on wings of dreams, enjoying its freedom. It seems from the competition you submitted to and the genre choice that this has something to do with a veteran returning home also. This was not entirely clear to me but it seems that he had to rebuild his nest on his return. So the eagle could be the nation rebuilding after losses abroad or it could be an individual whose wife left them while they were on active service forcing a rebuild on their return.

Whatever the poem means it seems that life goes on and the connection of bird and nation remains.

I guess since 1782 this bird has been the symbol of the nation representing: strength, pride, courage, and freedom. Your verses reflected these themes.

Mechanical issues

The poem could have flowed a little better and some of the word choices could have reflected the themes more powerfully.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #2258407 Unavailable **

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4827857

Review of Who owns the Planet?

Review by LightinMind

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Hello Apondia

. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Who owns the Planet?"

Did you answer the question?

At the start of the account, you seemed a little distracted by Michael Faber's theme of taking the gospel to aliens. I did not ask about aliens nor the challenges of moulding a gospel message for intelligent species who did not experience the incarnation of God as Man. But the rest of what you wrote was relevant to the topic at hand.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

The text read a little like abbreviated notes on various themes at times, and it needed more work to integrate the various subjects discussed. I got the impression you abbreviated a larger AI-derived answer into your own words, but did not check your grammar or the flow of what you wrote.

How consistent was your argument?

At the beginning of your account, the implication was that God created our planet, but then, after that, He may have created other planets with other lifeforms on them. But later, you quote from Bible passages that make clear that God created the universe all at once, and that would surely also have included other planets then. Some of course have been visible to the human eye since life began on Earth, e.g., Venus (the morning star), Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. Your text describes both progressive acts of creation and the ex nihilo main event. For some Christians, this is a contradiction. He either did it all at once and proclaimed it good. Or He is continually adding to what is now a broken universe (since the Fall, Flood, and Angelic Fiddling). If God is adding perfect creations to a flawed and broken universe, that would read a little like pouring new wine into old wineskins - a thing God says He does not do. The Christian hope is rather for a complete renovation of creation after the Judgment.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

It was a good question to ask as to whether theology needs to change to accommodate new possibilities like space travel. In one sense, you are right that theology relates to a relationship with God that is not conditional on context. Even a Second Coming to a particular place on a particular planet does not change the impact of the event itself on the whole of God's creation, though it would give the event a geocentric and anthropocentric significance. Of course, if aliens exist and if they have alternate theologies, the remaking of the universe that follows the specifically human experience of the Second Coming is rendered somewhat complicated.

You assume life evolved here and must therefore also evolve elsewhere. Chemical evolution is called abiogenesis and is different from biological evolution, which is what we usually mean when we speak of evolution. The Drake equation postulates, based on abiogenesis on our planet being a fact and the probability therefore that it occurs elsewhere, that there must be other inhabited worlds out there. But if the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground in a special act of creation, the assumption that He has crafted other worlds and created other life than that which we have experienced and labelled on this planet is speculative. Abiogenesis as a mechanism has no supporting evidence at all and has never been demonstrated by the scientific method.

I liked your notion of timing being related to the problems that humans face and must solve. There is a time to be earthbound and a time to fly to the stars. You could have said more about what kinds of pressures might compel this endeavor. You mentioned curiosity as being a driver, but what about: mineral shortages; environmental catastrophes; asteroid strikes; wars; political or religious persecution; demographic pressure; or the desire for a better life?

It is also possible that God has set limits we cannot cross - for example, extra-solar system travel to habitable worlds, that might not even exist, would take decades if not centuries with current technologies.

Mechanical issues

This sentence is too long and could be broken up into shorter sentences. Alternatively, since you are using an essay format, you could have made a numbered or bulleted list here.

I’m influenced by the fact, when humans conquered trips to the moon, they began to send rockets into the suns burning aura, putting robotics on Mars, putting telescopes into space to watch for life, recording sounds which hit earth from outer space, basically collecting scientific data for lots of different ideas about space travel.

Our ability to deal with what comes next in a way that follows the laws of the earth and universe are holding back our progress.

Quillbot and other AI tools often get a lot of stuff wrong. A classic example is plural and singular in sentences that lack commas - the grammar tool sees the plural the laws of the earth and universe and applies an are to that. But the actual subject of the sentence is surely our ability, which is singular, so you need to use is instead. The corrected sentence reads:

Our ability to deal with what comes next, in a way that follows the laws of the earth and universe, is holding back our progress.

Unfortunately, the corrected sentence also makes no sense. Our ability is a positive that should surely solve the problem, but here it is regarded as holding back our progress.

So I think you meant:
Our lack of ability to deal with what comes next, in a way that follows the laws of the earth and universe, is holding back our progress.

There are a lot of examples of poorly constructed sentences like this. This disrupts the flow for a reader and undermines the power of your message.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4826495

Review of find the stars

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello, ggbid

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"find the stars" was selected by personal choice for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A star blinks out in the vast expanse. He cannot find his love, though he searches for her. There is a madness in the not finding and not knowing where she has gone...

Commentary

I loved the imagery you used here of a star blinking out, of the awkwardness of communicating this love left-handed rather than right-handed, of the madman staring through plated glass.

There was a feeling of being hurled into darkness here by the absence of the one in whom you had placed so much faith, hope and love. The disturbance challenged everything, breaking the normal patterns, leaving the lover fumbling around in the dark, trying to find a way back to the light of his life.

The poem starts gazing into the sky at stars but ends looking beneath the earth, searching through the shadowy cemetery of a broken mind for what might have been buried there.

Powerful and hypnotic, thank you.

Mechanical issues

You seemed to depart from your normal presentation technique with a paragraph of what looked like prose toward the end of the poem.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4826494

Review of Far

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, Alexis

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"Far " was selected by personal choice for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The author wants to give the world a second chance, even if he has not been similarly gifted. No one is too far away that they cannot be redeemed.

Commentary

Various biblical verses sprang to mind, reading your poem. Let mercy triumph over judgment and forgive us our sins as we forgive others who sin against us. It opens up the gates of God's mercy when we forgive. There is also a biblical understanding of reality here, that: no one is righteous, not even one.

To paraphrase Corrie Ten Boom, there is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still. Of course, not everybody wants redemption and there is a hell that will be populated at the Judgment of all mankind. The universalist view of salvation here is a faulty one. It is not that some people do not deserve mercy, afterall no one does, it is that some people will never receive it.

The author shows mercy. It seems, therefore, that his contention that he has never received it is a faulty one. He just does not realise Who has forgiven him.

Mechanical issues

Free verse.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4826491

Review of What if

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, CHAN

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"What if " was selected by personal choice for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The girl smiles when her parents hurt her in oh so many ways. What if she just cried and initiated an honest conversation with them?

Commentary

As the father of a teenage young woman, I often wish for better communication with my children. The younger generation is increasingly captivated by a school and media system that tears them away from parents and traditions. A parent can believe with certainty that they are right on something, having experienced the consequences of rebellion themselves or having given years of research, and yet their "wisdom" can still be rejected by the teenager intent on finding her own way. We have a younger generation that are not strong enough to propose a viable alternative and so suffer under the weight of something they want to reject without really knowing why they are doing it and what compels them. It is a recipe for madness and fractured families. Choice is devalued by nonsense and feelings should never dictate the path, but rather only truth.

Given the above, I read your poem, at first, as the silliness and hypocrisy of a girl who is avoiding a conflict with her parents by smiling but who is not properly scrutinising what they say. In a way, it is a failure of critical thinking that does not allow her to sift truth from lie, good from bad, nonsense from wisdom.

But then, as I reflected, I wondered about the Chinese name given by the author. I wondered if this was a Chinese cultural trait. The Dao speaks highly of the continuity with ancestors and the interconnectedness of being. But Western culture individualises and separates and asks the question: 'but what do I feel and think about this?' 'Why should I just go with the flow?' She appears caught in the tension between two worlds. The solution is to think through the validity of what is actually being shared and choose what is pure, true, holy, noble and excellent while rejecting what is not. This can be done respectfully and the default smile seems like a clumsy mask compared to honest discussion.

Mechanical issues

The question 'What if' is asked innumerable times without a question mark.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4826489

Review of Breathe Me Again

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, David

. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"Breathe Me Again" was selected by personal choice for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A beloved returns to the lover and there is a hope of love and passion restored

Commentary

This was quite powerful and passionate. I hope she was worthy of the fine words.

This line confused me and, on reflection, makes no sense:

You looked like a prayer unanswered
until you returned
like a promise the sky forgot to keep
--but never did.

He wants her back, so he prays for her. She returns, so that is surely an answered prayer. So the next line contradicts this by saying the sky forgot to keep its promise. She is there, so the promise was kept.

I loved this line in your poem:

Let me be your madness again,
your refuge, your breath,
the silence between two storms.

Mechanical issues

Free verse.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4826488

Review of Eight Years

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hello, nikitaswritnx. This is a Raid Review from "The Power Reviewers Group" !

"Eight Years" was selected by personal choice for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Eight years on, and she still dreams about a school friend who broke her heart twice

Commentary

The poem describes a peak moment of romantic intensity in the author. The imprint remains even after a great deal of disappointment and heartbreak. Remembering similar peak moments in romantic feelings, I notice many of them were concentrated around the teen to young adult years.

Maybe my romantic maths is not up to speed, but how can a guy break a girl's heart twice and heal it twice unless he remains with her after the last time he broke it? Or did he heal it the first time he met her and then break it after, healing it again after they rehooked up and then broke it one last time - I guess that works, but it leaves the girl with a broken heart even after eight years.

Mechanical issues

This was free verse.

Thanks for sharing.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4823270

Review of A Path to Inner Peace

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello nofluff

. Thank you for writing on the theme of this month's contest. Unfortunately, your entry did not qualify according to the rules. But I am happy, as agreed, to provide a review of your work.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "A Path to Inner Peace"

Did you answer the question?

Yes, this was an emotionally rich, personally authentic, deeply reflective, and human answer that found an anchor in God through Christ. Christ embodied the peace you were looking for but despaired of finding in a continually, changing and chaotic world.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You have read widely and while you refer to a great many people I have the feeling that you have absorbed many of their ideas into your stream of conscious reflection. Your view of AI as a flawed mirror of a broken humanity was interesting. On questions like this, I would tend to agree - what kind of answer you get back from the AI depends on how you ask the question and it might change tomorrow.

How consistent was your argument?

Your basic argument seemed to be that peace was like a ship that sails through troubles rather than an escape from them. That an Eternal, immutable God was a more trustworthy anchor in the storm of life than a continually changing and chaotic trust in mankind. That Jesus was a light in the darkness that modeled perfect obedience, peace, and trust and someone worth emulating.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

It seems like you had a difficult month and you mentioned an experience in the ER. Your answers come from a well-read soul with a richness of reflection. You understand, in a way that some of the other contestants this month did not articulate, the human struggle.

Looking a little deeper through the broken fragments of a world falling apart flying at us from every angle, as we dodge and dive along our journey, we can see the love of God. An anchor that holds through any storm, earthquake, famine, war, sickness, or natural disaster.

You give the impression of having walked through a great deal of dirty, stormy water, deceptions, and delusions on your way to more palatable fresh lakes and clean skies. Yours is a voice that heard many of the whispered suggestions from unreliable teachers, deluded atheists, pseudo-scientific counselors and digital deceivers on the way to truth, learning why each of them should be disregarded before leaving them behind. Has that made your journey slower or enriched the voice that you now speak so marvelously with? Your comments reminded me of that famous Churchill quote, spoken in the darkest hours of the war, "if you find yourself in hell keep going!" You seem to understand the doctrine of common grace quite instinctually but also that these fragments of light we can find in other places are fragments not fullness. Only Jesus offers the fullness of truth and peace. Our hearts are restless until they rest in God - to paraphrase Augustine.

It is a deeply Christian insight that peace is not the absence of suffering but rather the presence of God in the midst of it. It is also how the bible psalmists dealt with crises of suffering and faith. They reflected honestly on these and found the Lord in the worst of struggles. Your initial vulnerability to the various counterfeit spiritualities like self-deification, the law of attraction, and self-worship ultimately resulted in a trail of broken idolatries cast overboard and now in the ship's wake as rejected flotsam and jetsam.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

My favorite line was this one which refers to Christ:

“He never promised calm seas, only presence in the storm.”

More critically your deeply personal journey and rich experience of academic texts and ideas do tend toward a sort of moral relativism. In part that is a reflection of the world you have walked through and indeed a feature of our times. You say things like: Life is contrast and so are anchors. They’re deeply personal. But sometimes the truth is the truth is the TRUTH. Jesus is an anchor that holds through any storm, for anyone that chooses to trust God through Him.

Also, your style, while entertaining and intellectually stimulating is quite introspective and there is a danger you believe that truth is the result of your struggle and journey rather than something you have received by grace, and by faith in Christ.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1

Peace begins in reconciliation with God not in the achievement of emotional equilibrium. We are seeking an undistorted view of God, not a simple cleaning of the glasses through which we view Him. It is about revelation not human perception in the end.

Thank you for another stimulating read. It is a shame you did not enter properly as you could have won this month's contest with this entry.

Mechanical issues

Focused on the substance of what you wrote.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4823204

Review of Path to Enduring Inner Peace

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hello Kaytings

. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

FORUM

Grill a Christian (13+)

Aliens - gods, beasts, peers or legend?

#2327636 by LightinMind

As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Path to Enduring Inner Peace" Congratulations on your victory in this month's contest.

Did you answer the question?

Yes in a poetical format.

Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You have a unique style that quite distinctively addressed this month's topic.

How consistent was your argument?

This was a very personal poem, you spoke about how trauma deprived you of peace and made it seem like a distant and elusive goal. Various techniques were tried, but by themselves did not address the heart of the matter. Instead, you learned to trust, there were choices to adopt techniques but also the faith to receive God's grace. Both trust and technique became essential to achieve peace. There was counseling and a steady unpicking of poisonous and self-sabotaging thoughts that would deprive you of peace. You looked around for human examples of inner peace, Mandela and Nhat Hanh inspired you with what they demonstrated was possible. But this was a process. Today's world offers many distractions and roadblocks to the attainment of peace. Charlatans offered easy fixes for a problem that required much more. But your journey toward inner peace continues despite all this, step by step, an accumulation of small victories, a balancing act between technique and trust, faith and a hope that a dark past cannot extinguish a bright future.

My thoughts on the substance of what you said

Your poem reminded me of a sci-fi film I once watched called Contact, A scientist, Ellie Arroway, is sent on a journey organized by greater alien minds and gets to view spectacular celestial events that completely blew her mind. She comes back utterly overwhelmed - "they should have sent a poet," she said.

There is an enormous amount of literature about inner peace and different religions have different slants on this. But your poem summarised very well your own experience of the search for and partial achievement of inner peace.

Your account describes a personal journey rather than the objective conditions upon which a state of deep, spiritual tranquility might depend. The Christian view is that inner peace has to do with being reconciled with God through Jesus Christ. So it is not just a subjective feeling but also a profound state of well-being rooted in spiritual realities. Because Christ died for us, the sins that separate us from God can be washed away. A way has been opened up for us to be reconciled to God.

The Hebrew word Shalom can be translated as wholeness, harmony and well-being It is a holistic concept that touches every part of a believer's life. Christians know that this peace cannot be earned but rather is given. We are justified by faith, not deeds.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
— Romans 5:1

The gift of God's Spirit, sent by Christ after his Ascension, is the guarantee of peace:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
— John 14:27

Peace is regarded as a fruit of this indwelling Spirit of God:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:6–7

There is an authenticity and emotional gravity to your poetry which is powerful. It is emotionally sincere and thematically rich. Your journey from trauma and rage to healing and spiritual resilience resonates with the souls of any who have had similar struggles. There were only a few mechanical and stylist issues, described in the section below.

My favorite lines were:

“peace rose like dew on cold mornings” and “mud feeds lotus blooms”

Mechanical issues

"Peace asked for both, the steady practice of technique, / and a leap into the unseen arms of grace." . This is a direct explanation and reads like a self-help manual rather than poetry.

There was a degree of redundant repetition in the poem and in places, it could have been more concise. This is unstructured verse but sometimes the voice of the poem was uneven.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind

"My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .