I truly found myself engrossed in this story and before I could reach the end I was raining tears.
I found your story on growing up with a father who felt or showed very little love or respect for his only daughter. Only to find that was not who he was after all. I truly enjoyed your story and loved the emotion you packed into it.
What moved me the most about your story
The letter, from her father that fell from a book about his true feelings about his family and his daughter, that made feel so good about him.
Thank you for sharing your story good luck in the contest, and keep up the great work.
Never before have I heard anyone prefer a weed over a flower...and I am so glad that tonight I have....and I truly agree. When a woman is described as a lovely flower, it sounds pretty and delightful to know that someone thinks of her as such. But when described as better to be a weed, I agree with that theory even more....We know that pretty things are soon broken and cast aside...so if I had a daughter I would certainly want her to be a weed with pretty blossoms....Thank you for sharing this ugly weed......It was lovely....
Sincerely
Marlena
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What a little darling poem...today I have read some rather wonderful and spiritual pieces and I'll add this one to those that have ignited or sparked a flame in my heart. It truly touched my heart. I found not one line that needed to be fixed. Thank you so much for sharing and keep up the great writing.
Sincerely
Marlena
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Thank you for writing this little story of the little red shoes. Yes, war can be so unfair and the things it does to those who are within the walls of this madness are the ones who are left with the most to lose. Looking back at the throes of all war I can see the pain and loss of what life as we know seems to be...about greed and a Landmine! For a piece of Land...Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Marlena
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You certainly have a fantastic way of keeping one on the edge of their seat and in suspense through out the story. I was taken completely by surprise not even a hint from you as to what might happen. I love the way you show what is taking place and still keep have one in totally disbelief. Thank you for sharing this story and for a great read....and believable story.
Sincerely
Marlena
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Welcome to this months Rising Stars Shining Brighter contest.
Nice story about the goings on in your everyday convenience store. Its manager and a lady vamp. Nice read and thank you for sharing your story with my Circle of Sisters and good luck in the contest....
Sincerely
Marlena
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Well done and very queenly robed! She hailed her subjects to bend and bow, and bend and bow and died for heavy robes...
I enjoyed this piece written in the spirit of; I, Claudius, and so sure he would agree that you'd done justice to the cause.
This is my favorite stanza although I like them all, but this one stood out for me:
'Behold! My swirl of robes, are flung.
My scraping thrusts of tongue flick far.
From old bayous to Florida,
all hear my roar: the crack of oak,
the wrench of roof, the crash of glass,
a dog's last woof.'
What a darling and delightful little story. I did not have the delightful pleasure of daughters, but I had my hands full with three robust sons, and like you I made sure they were endowed with those wonderful parting gifts similar to your own at about the time they entered collage. I particularly loved these lines, which in my humble opinion relates to both sexes:
'These darling daughters suddenly convert to shrew-like emotional lightning rods of high maintenance terrorists overnight, unbeknownst to the parents who headed off to bed following an evening of warm, fuzzy, family time and a game of Mille Bornes.'
Thank you so much for sharing those feelings and for the walk down memory lane....
Nice little poem, but I am not sure as to what you are trying to convey in some of your lines, nor am I certain about the form or whether or not you'd intended to use a rhyme scheme or a particular form the stanza’s are a bit unstable, but over all a very delightful piece. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I’m looking forward to returning to your port again in the near future.
Sincerely
I really get the feel of Slam in this piece, and I must say that it truly rings a bell of total belief.
I like the flow the rhythm and the beat. I like the words that make me think even standing on my feet.
What I'd really like to see; is some Candidate running for the top office of our nation take those words and make them into a reality. For what I've seen from one and all borders on senility. Thank you so much for sharing your views and welcome to Writing.Com.? Great piece and a powerful read.
What a tribute to these fine men, this is very timely as it has happened again and again in other parts of the country...how can this danger be guarded against ever happening again? When will our government make it a crime to send men to their demise because no one take the time to check out these danger spots....Thank you so much for sharing this story and I must say it was well written and something that I'd not heard about before now.
Sincerely
Marlena
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I thought this was just a sweetheart of a story. Somehow I felt like it was Christmas and a miracle or 34th street. Great story and enjoyable read. I loved the ending and could see a sequel following this one.
Thanks for sharing and a real nice presentation over all.
Very heartrending story about a woman who was beautiful yet unable to find the happiness she so sought after in this life time. I could feel your emotions for this piece and some parts had a very easy flow, and others it seemed as though you were trying to reach for a word that wasn't there...I have that problem at times also and find it a good idea to read it out loud. That helps a lot. Thank you for sharing this delightful piece, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Evelyn, I can't express how proud I am to see the wonderful work you are doing and for all the many challenges you've had to deal with over the past year.
You are truly an inspiration and a joy to me your Rising Star Sponsor....for you truly are a Rising Star. My best wishes to you for all you are doing and good luck in getting your MFA in Creative Writing.
Kudos my friend.
What a lovely tribute to a beautiful lady...Funnyface...seems as she put her soul right into his hand and he carried her home to a place were she will find life renewed when the time comes...I love to read your gifted works they always make me feel wonderful about my day....I find thankfulness is something we can give each and every day....thank you for sharing and making this day beautiful in everyway.
Sincerely
Marlena
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This piece of fruit will never be the same again...'stupid fruit.' But I am so glad that just by accident I was sending a friend a link to someone else’s item, and instead of writing 131, my finger for reasons that I now will call accidental faith, hit the wrong letter on the keyboard....when I received a response back from my friend telling me what a great poem this was and thank you for sharing I was quite taken aback...since I had not sent them a poem but an image....needless to say we both had a wonderful experience reading and laughing our heads off...one; at this little cutie and 2; for my accidentally hitting the #2....Thank you so much for understanding and for the great read....
Sincerely
Marlena
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I thought I must come by for something good to read and maybe a good little laugh before turning in for the night...it is 9:11 PM in California and I have been on Writing.Com since early morning and I am tired and ready to turn in but I wanted something to read before I logged off....needless to say I found them both...a wonderful and delightful story and more then a few good laughs.....The three lines above these broke me up...I hope I can speak tomorrow.
"It was his last day as platoon commander. Tristan found out the navy wasn’t as broadminded as Haley."
It took me so completely by surprise, I had to hold my stomach...the next was when Haley got on her husband for petting the dog, and his remarks to her...priceless to be sure....well I'm sure I will get a very good nights sleep now… but I will play a few of your scenes over in my mind several times before going to sleep....Thank you so much for sharing your picture perfect story with us....it was a joy and a pleasure to read….
Sincerely
Marlena
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What a loving and inspiring piece this is, and you know I really could see the immerging underneath the water and a healing taking place as the bright golden light enwrapped itself around the person submerged! It was truly lovely to see...thank you so much for sharing and it was written beautifully and with uncompromising love.
Sincerely
Marlena
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I hear what you’re saying very clear! That someone has stopped listening to your screams and wailing...now maybe it's time to put that all behind and start talking in a calm and soothing frame of mind....Now they can hear you....And if that doesn't work maybe it's time to move on to another chapter in your life...this is what I'm hearing and that may not be your intention at all....But then I'm listening.... Thanks for the great read and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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'Your Mirror,' is another one of my favorites and I enjoyed reading and getting a glance into the life of a seventeen year old. I love the gentle way in which it was written and told and the love that mirror has for her young mistress...Good luck with your writing very exceptional....
Sincerely
Marlena
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Seems I discover more on the public pages than I do in you port...how did I miss this when I came looking? Is there some little cupboard that is hidden from my eyes when I look? LOL....but I came rushing like the dickens when I read the review on this piece I assumed must be xx sensual....'Oh! Says I, let me run right on by, and pay my best to this kitten.' What I found was a lovely, tender, gentle piece written by a wonderful, dear friend and sister..........Totally beautiful, thank you for sharing....
Love always
Marlena
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This story is charming and a real hook-up for anyone visiting Cost Rica. I for one am thrilled with the knowledge of the low cost medical care that most other countries afford to not only their own citizen’s but to those newly arrived or just visiting....When will we have this kind of privilege in our lovely country? Thank you so much for sharing...
Love
Marlena
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I'm assuming that you are from the UK, not because I'm a physic but because the way you spell color or colour as is special to the UK....Okay; now back to your story! Oh, I think it is darling and I love the flow and the way she makes him wait...this couldn't get much better....keep up the good work Ellie....One tiny suggestion if you don't mind....maybe double space the words so they appear a little neater on the page.
Sincerely
Marlena Duci
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Welcome to this months Rising Stars Shining Brighter contest.
What a delightful story and so very descriptive and thank you for the new word from the outback 'chook' I really enjoyed it very much....I could see the visuals so clear....frogs in the bath tub...ugh....thank you for sharing your experience and good luck in the contest....
Sincerely
Marlena
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Absolutely beautiful...every line flowed so wonderful from the lips...very easy to decipher and I truly loved these lines:
'If thy heart and mine will transform from friend to lover
For I know there is none other in this world for me
And on the morrow to e’er after -
I will be here, awaiting you.'
Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com
Sincerely
Mduci
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...It was lovely....
Thanks for the great read and welcome to Writing.Com.
What I found was a lovely, tender, gentle piece written by a wonderful, dear friend and sister..........Totally beautiful, thank you for sharing....