I love this poem, and all the things it brings to my mind, I know how it is to become attached to a place you call home and what a wonderful feeling it is to wake in the mornings and be in that place. Thank you for the joy in reading this lovely piece and welcome to another lovely community your second home Writing.Com....Hope you'll love being a part of this great place.
I love the feel of this little sweetie, it has a nice beat and a good rhythm and I feel like dancing when I read it...I love all your stanza's but this one puts me in a light hearted mood....
'A walk in the park, and
watching children play,
is like being in heaven
with the angels and Gabe.'
Some very nice tones in this piece, and a very gentle beat...I could sense the Wind tugging at the leaves and even see the rubber plant and a quite Sunday when all else was still...I feel your emotions as you write about this place and the love, and peace you feel as you write. Thank you for sharing and Welcome to Writing.Com.
I love the freedom of this poem,
and how it moves so lovely across
the page, and gives the visuals of
a beautiful Angel as she sweeps down
the street. Touching each and everyone
she meets....Good read and great little
writing...thank you for sharing and welcome
to Writing.Com....I look forward to reading more.
Many questions on life’s journey, and as the reader I say; 'why not.'....You've written a list of questions that some may answer and others will not but the one thing we do know is that; 'life is beautiful' for just a short time or a life time...it, is what we see it as or better yet what we make of it....Very nicely written and I hope you've got all the answer's and welcome to Writing.Com....
It is so nice to let your friends know how you feel about them before they or you leave us all behind...I too have just written a similar letter to friends just today!...And I must say I like yours a lot better.
Thank you so much for sharing...this sweet note and welcome to Writing.Com.
‘Though common in the mud and also common on the land,
The Crocodile prefers to sit where all is cool and calm.
But time to time he gets a chill, so into heat he moves;
His unassuming verdant bulk sits in sun with ease.’
You are so right this is one young fellow I don’t want to ever run into, dead or a live…first time I’ve had the pleasure to read about him in a poem or contest and I didn’t find it to scary at all. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
‘His obnoxious behavior is displayed each time he wins anything.
The times when my daughter or I beat him, he automatically gives the
classic whiner excuses of, "You cheated!" or "I wasn't ready yet!" .’
I can truly say I can relate to this story, I have a grandson who is like this! He feels he has to be the winner no matter what. I hate to see him play games with the other children because he is so obnoxious and competitive until they become so overwhelmed they throw their hands up and say; “no more.” Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
I love this little cutie....I love the butterfly and I've always considered myself a free spirit like the elusive butterfly....and my favorite niece Robin who passed away 2 years this month always called me, 'auntie butterfly,' and she thought of herself as a free spirit and a butterfly.....So, anytime I see a poem about that tiny winged thing....I rush to read...I know your niece would have been thrilled with this little beauty....Thank you for sharing your butterfly and welcome to Writing.Com.
I like your writing on living or dead! I know there are those that can speak to the dead, so why not see the dead. I believe in ghosts. I loved the 'Sixth Sense' and most movies of that genre. Well done, and I couldn't have asked for more unless you'd written a book. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com....Keep writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a wonderfully inspiring story...I've often thought of doing this in my spare time, but didn't know how to pursue the idea. I once saw a TV program where a woman volunteered once a week to teach creative writing for local jails...it really struck a chord. But in time I forgot about it...but after reading your take on it, I am sure this would be very possible in my area of So. California.
Thanks for the idea and good luck with the project....
Sincerely
Marlena
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What a lovely tribute to someone you loved and who loved you a great deal. Losing those we love are always harder on us than we can ever imagine and having recently lost 3 members of my family I know the pain you must have gone through....Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I seems you've learned to see around you and that you were able to take a negative band and place a golden light around it and come around being very positive...that is a very good thing...to know that when one cares about ones self the people around you will follow suite....I love to see that in this poem about ones self....Good luck in your writing and welcome to Writing.Com....Thank you for sharing this story with us....
Just one little typo: 'But no sees me for the person I am.' You left out (one) as in 'But no one'
Nice work, keep it up....
Sincerely
Mduci
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Well, from the moment I started to read this cute story I knew all the time that your new love was going to either be a new grand-daughter or you know....? I don't want to give the story away....but you just didn't strike me as that kind of a player!!!....Loved the story and love your writing! I think you should keep it up! And right here on Writing.Com....Welcome to our wonderful site...And I look forward to reading more of your writing in the very near future.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Your writing never ceases to amaze me....your stories are always ones that I can relate to people like the one's in this story...where do they all come from? I loved this story and the end was so positive after so much negative emotions. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being a winner in the weekly Rising Stars contest...
Hugs
Marlena
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A very warm story, but I would have like to see more dialogue and more story line with regard to the prompt. But what I did read I liked and would like to see you add more to the story sometime in the future.
What moved me the most about your story
“I see her walking in the fields; she looks beautiful, so young and free. How she loved to pick through the fields before school would start. Celia was so adventurous,” Said Annabelle
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
What a perfect day for this kind of story—some rain, some sunshine, some more rain, and a hot cup of coffee to top it off. I love the story, I love the way you told it…making me see every last detail from beginning to end. Best of all I love the font you used for tired eyes to see with out reading glasses. I could have curled in front of my fireplace and read all day. Thank you for such a wonderful read.
What moved me the most about your story
"Momma? Momma, wait!" Sarah screamed. "Momma, I wanna come home! Momma?" She ran after them, gliding through the wheat.
As the sun rose, Sarah saw a river of living lights flowing toward her. Silently they came out of the sky by the hundreds, by the thousands, and then crashed into her heart and carried her away as hushed as golden sunshine in a waking dream.
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed your story and how deeply moving I found it. This morning I was looking for stories that would be up lifting and mood changing and I found it right here in your port.
The story of a father dealing with his five year old after the loss of his wife and seeing his wife again in the wheat fields trying to show him something was just what the doctor ordered for me this morning. Wonderfully written and held me from beginning to end.
What moved me the most about your story
David woke, his heart pounding in the dark. Now he knew what Rachel had been trying to tell him, or maybe what his own heart had been trying to tell him. He needed to move on with his life. Rachel was gone and he shouldn’t feel like he was betraying her. She would always be with him.
The tenderness of your story moved me to tears…
Thank you for sharing your story and good luck in the contest, and keep writing.
I felt you followed the prompt very well, and I truly enjoyed your story of Jenny and Sara the sisters who played together in the wheat fields but no one knew except Jenny, as Sara is a child who cannot walk or play.
What moved me the most about your story
Sara looks to me, puts her finger to her mouth and says shhhhhh. It’s our secret, remember? We’ll dance and play another time she says as she fades away into the mist. I thought this scene very touching.
Thank you for sharing your story good luck in the contest, and keep up the great work.
Beautifully told short story of a girl's loss of her mother and her refusal to let her go
until many years later, she finally comes to terms with it and knows she will always have a friend to play with in the wheat fields...forever.
Your writing and telling such a short story was amazing...and I enjoyed reading it very much.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
‘Before you jump in, could you send over some more beer?” Maggie, startled to hear the voice of her inebriated husband, looked across the great divide for the first time. “Come on! I’ve been trapped over here for days. What are you going to do, just stand there?”
Maggie indecision was over. She knew exactly what she was going to do.'
Oh! I loved this story it was different and very amusing. It will give your readers who think time has taken its toll on marriage to rethink what they have invested. Truly a cutie and a joy to read.
Thank you for sharing with us and good luck in the contest.
I enjoyed reading your story of a young woman returning to her birth place after a long absence, and looking into the falling down house that she'd shared so many years past, and looking for the image of the young women she’d seen in the wheat fields when she was a young girl. Thinking that the woman was all that she wanted to yet not sure she’d made that wish come true.
What I liked best was the way she told the story in the first person, but still kept to the prompt. Thank you for sharing this story and good luck in the contest.
I so enjoyed this piece and I must say that I know a lot of woman who love the sport and wouldn't miss a game not for anything.
My parents raised four children and most of it was at a baseball, football or racetrack....So, were lots of my friends....
But I do understand that there are many who think why get excited! But I don't think that is the norm anymore....I love the game and as I write this piece I'm watching a collage football game....So thanks for sharing.......
I can imagine thousands upon thousands holding a candle of hope and promise for any man, woman or child who needs to know that there is someone out there who does care, and is willing to give a hand or
a pat on the back for their good deeds. I thank you for sharing this timely poem and appreciate that you can feel the need to help....I look forward to reading more from your port....
Sincerely
Marlena
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I am so sorry it has taken so long to get here but I've been abroad for the past 3 weeks and have just come home yesterday.
But here I am and what I see on your port impresses me very much.
This lovely piece on one of my favorite subjects Angel's is as it should be about someone who is just that; a beautiful Angel.
I love the flow and the lovely words I have so enjoyed...I too believe there are angel's walking among us and now and than we can almost see their wings....Thank you so much for sharing this angel with us and I will continue my little sojourn through your port....
Sincerely
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