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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nlhanse
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64 Public Reviews Given
64 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm not so good in the grammar department, but I will suggest an idea, or a new way of presenting an idea. I will tell you what I think of your writings in the most positive way. I have to admit my review style is not professional as others. I do have to say this, practice makes perfect.
I will not review...
Romance, fan-fiction, politics, articles, advertisement
Public Reviews
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a very difficult thing to write about. I've had a few friends that where like this girl in the note. To dwell on the past and not to look at the future, or stay in the present, is not very safe. From a harden road on what we walk on, only makes us stronger for who we are. If you look straight across, to the next person you could see that they are just as hurt. People make life interesting you just got to know what to look for.


Cheer up, and keep on writing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of The Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I've read this a couple of time, to see if I miss something. When I read it for the second time I went, ah hah! I don't think it is a good idea to read when your tired. But I did get the story. There was only one part I found that might need a word change. I noticed *in the centre of the bridge. Would that word be center? last paragraph second line. Other than that a well written story.

~Len E. Kane


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Interesting, when I read the poem, I felt it was more about her, than it was about the guy. Not made of wax.. This reference, could this mean we weren't meant to stand the test of time. Even if wax melted it still would tear. So does wax have feelings like sadness. I probably didn't get the poem but it was very nice.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I found this story a great read. I like the story for many reasons. It did have that suspense that I was looking for today. It was a shame that they never really did see the ten year old boy. But he haunted the house. This looks like a good start to a long story. I wounder what five years down the road would look like if this kept up. Only one thing I thought was was odd. His dad called him buddy. I understand pet names and what not, but I think he would be a bit old for a nick name like buddy. but that is the only thing I have. Other than that It was good story, don't change a thing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of Kitty  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This short story is what I needed for a long day. It was very playful and fun to read. the magic that was really there was in the writing. When I first vision the story as I read, I was more thinking warmer weather. but then again a storm did go by. But that is a big temp difference from 60 to freezing. perhaps I don't know Granite Valley. A read well worth reading.


~Len E. Kane
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Review of mrs adams  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is the first campfire I've read. I seems fun, but this topic is not my thing. There was an error that through me off though. Denis, I thought it was spelled Dennis. But then again there are guys named Ashley.

second block first line *she trotting, would she was trotting sound better. other than that I do like where the story is heading. It's a shame that I didn't see how this cat fight ended. My question is this were the naked while they fight, or were they in robes.


~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
To write a poem about sports, I would say is very difficult. I can see that you took a lot of time and effort putting this poem together. There are some rough parts. For example, trying to read the names in the poem through me off. I understand you want to write it how it was, or how you wanted to remember it. There is other ways of presenting the people, as teams and team members, but then again this poem would lose meaning through a hack job. I could suggest to start over, or try to make the poem flow with the tongue.

I know this may or may not help but at least its a start. Thank you, and keep on writing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This story was great at chapter four. I did notice a few errors though.

second to the last paragraph first line

*them the marked one, is the word suppose to be *they?

Last paragraph first line

*he went very surprised, I think the sentence would look better with the word was instead of went

I was also questioning when he was talking to himself *get back to the work. If he lives and works at his home I think this could be fine. but if you drop *the out of the sentence I feel that statement would flow better.


I know its a work in progress, and it is very well written peace. It had me from the story to the journal, keep on writing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I have to agree it's ok to cry. For some people tears come easy, and others it takes some time. once they learn how to cry, they can see the beauty that wasn't there. When they feel alone its ok to let it out one tear at a time. I feel if you hold it in the world seems grey, and the skies dim. Did I want to cry after reading this, no. This is an inspiring peace that will help someone down the road.

Keep up the good work.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I find writing very helpful, I tend to write out all the black out of my soul. Words never came easy for me to say to people. So I write, in this world of my personal journal I let it all out and then something happens. I let go I blend into the crowd and I am just as normal as the rest. Sure the darkness will always be there but it cant get to you unless you let it. I am still trying to run from the darkness, but its always close on my heels.

What else do I have to say, writing is my escape.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of The Boy  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story was a difficult story to read. What made it difficult, I was mufti-tasking, between listening to my music, and having it shuffling to my personal recordings. I followed the story as much as I could all the way up to the end.

One of my questions is, if you strike a person with a rock until they stop moving wouldn't there be blood, or at least blood splatter?

The other thing is if you where selling a bag that hardly got used on eBay, is the character looking for a new victim? This boy, that turn to man must be thirsty for blood. at one point in this mans life he will have regrets and will ask for someone to help him stop. It might not be through a phone call, or a letter to the media. I'm thinking of a few serial killers that had done so in the past. Zodiac comes to mind.

Well as you can plainly see you have me hooked. Not all good stories have to have a happy ending.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
a suspenseful love story. When I read this story it made me feel like the forth wall, not sure what was going on or what was going to happen. But I wanted more. As I couldn't understand something so simple but so complex, it had my attention through the envelopes of great interest.

Now for the hard part. where could have I seen something changed? (In my personal view.)

In the third paragraph, "shut in his face." I feel that this line had came a bit rough. It could've been stated like this, The door was quickly closed behind her. Something on that line, or nature.

I would say, all in all it was very good story. Maybe one day I will again be part of the forth wall looking in.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I find great respect for this poem, It took great time and thought for this poem. Ones heart was truly in this poem, for the faith they must have to find that light is worth every down. And if you are down, there is a brighter side to it all. That the lord will always be there. This a true poem of light and harmony.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of Lost Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This love poem is, I'd say, about the love that has been lost. Like when the ocean erodes the beach side. over time this love has not endure those hard times. I would see a lot of people can feel what the author feels. Unfortunately the other side, or partner has no idea of this love being lost. Does this poem move me? No, but I do have to say that this is what a lot people go through.

What would Nancy do if this love is lost, and her partner is blind not to see it. That I guess would be a question for Nancy.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of Yogurt  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A random story of a homeless man, All in the name of a contest. I felt the way it was written the man wanted to draw attention to himself. He didn't care that he smelled, as long as he got somebodies attention. On that last commented day, was he filled with regret that he wanted to change his ways? He had a reputation to up hold. Was it to make the traffic slow down at the bench. I would never know. I find the story good, and challenging to write this 300 words or less. Keep on writing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review of My Love For You  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I feel that his is about love. If someone truly loves someone, they would go into great depth on trying to say it. They would say it in the small jesters. (I think that might be the wrong word) Such as I would pay for this, or I would do this in order to see you not get hurt. This poem makes me feel was about a random person at the bus stop, but I feel that his could have so much more. Just fill in the blanks with love in hand and you will never go wrong. keep on writing.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Perhaps this is true about me. I in great respect wouldn't want to say anything out loud that would hurt anyone. One has to have the wit to understand this, I may not be witty or honest. I just try to find a new colorful way of saying it. I find this article very help full. thanks for the help.
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Review of Randomness  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like a little randomness in life. I could say that I am very random at times. When I started reading this I felt that this is a relationship gone wrong. Well I guess you could say in that statement it is true. The real relationship here I feel at the end was at ones self. I could be wrong, and that's ok. I'm only human.

~Len E. Kane
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I notice that this and the previous version are very similar. I feel it had been made for the better. The line, "And to transport a fright;" What if you put the word "was" after the word "transport"? I feel I could've been more of a sound poem. It was a simple poem but worth the read.

~Len E. Kane


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A contest about a tortoise and a hair. It wasn't the approach I would use. starting at an argument to save a friendship. I'm not one for editing so if I see a thing in it that had been miss. its only by chance. What I had to, for the greater good, for the people... Could've people been changed to kind? We are talking about animals and even animals get dirty some time. I leave feeling bad for the animals, fighting because there different. But at least the hare was drug once again. Keep on typing.

~Len E. Kane


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Chicken Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was kicking it with your chicken. A well worth read that enlighten me for my down spirit. It made me feel like I want to start ripping apart a chicken right now for the broth of chicken noodle soup. At least the the vegetables had no fear of the knife. Very original keep up the good work.

~Len E. Kane


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Me and Binky  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
The word hood should look like this 'hood' seeing that is an 05 copyright I doubt that this writer is trying. but if they are I would like to read some of there recent things. It's kinda funny how life takes ya. one day your in the back of a squad car, next day your sitting on top of the world. well I guess it never worked out for him like that.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Love Close Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
It's a good poem about love. What else do got to say. I didn't feel very heart warming when I read it. Perhaps, one must go through the hard times to under stand what love is. Kind of like, never saying your sorry. It means you meant well, but if you screw up it was only a mistake. And you are willing to move forth with that person no matter how thick it gets. Love can be crazy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
I believe this story is a bit of far fetch. If a bank tell knew that you said you were good at poker, that would end the loan right there on the spot. unless the loan agency was new on the job and didn't know. In some cases where you sign for a package its your responsibility to move it not theirs. But being of a hot tub, I could see why they would want to move it.
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Review of Gift for Natalie  Open in new Window.
Review by Len E. Kane Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I've read this story to the very end. It had a lot suspense and a very awkward ending. Who knew flood light could be so romantic. It was well worth read, easy to follow along. It had a simple idea with a twist. Some days I have hard time remembering my name. well that is not true but I could imaging.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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