Good question, buddy. Considering how search engines showcase all your work at once, it's okay to venture off into different genres. I started out writing horror and now I'm more into Suspense. I've written Action and Supernatural Suspense. Whatever strikes my muse.
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poems and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
Loved all your haiku poems, but I must admit, two of them are my favorites. The Kiss and Loneliness spoke to me on a personal level. As far as I'm concerned, a writer that invokes feelings into her poetry, has a special skill. Thanks for sharing your poetry with us and WELCOME to WdC! Please do share more!
This is an awesome article! I guess this is yet another way I can pick your brain. I'd love to post this on Knight Chills if you'd let me. Great article!
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
Mandy, I enjoyed how you showed the different stages when one surrenders to love. They were extremely accurate, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing this lovely poem!
Favorite Part
All I know is your touch is a brand on my soul,
That against all odds love has swallowed me whole.
This poem reminded me of how even though there's some apprehension in surrendering ourselves to someone, emotions from the heart tend to take us like a tidal wave pushing a small rowboat. Once you fall, there's not much one can do than go with the flow.
Form
Solid form. Easy to follow.
Rhythm
Well done!
Rhyme
Nothing seemed forced. Always a plus!
Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I enjoyed this piece. I have no doubt that this poem will cause many readers to reflect upon love's surrender. Thanks for the fun read. Please keep on writing more things just like this!!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight.
General Impressions
This was super concise and yet it packed quite a punch. Good job!
Favorite Part
The way the boy talked.
Never saw the temporary ending coming.
Approach on the horse:Setting/Mood
Most of this is inferred through dialog. I wonder how you'll add to this in a longer piece.
Form of attack:Execution of Plot
I love twists and this one had a whopper.
Star Appeal: Characterization
I wonder if you needed the extra tutor, the older guy. Nevertheless, this story is very promising.
Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
The dialog is what made this little snippet move. With your talents, I'm not surprised.
Welcome back, my friend! Check the forum tomorrow to see if you're a finalist.
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
An interesting philosophical look at various possibilities that life presents us with. Good job!
Favorite Part
The meaning may not always be apparent,
But the purpose always makes its presence known.
We can add the phrase: sooner or later at the end of that verse.
Thanks for sharing this nice poem with me. It reminds me that life is indeed complicated. I especially enjoyed how you turned the verses around to make the reader see an alternate meaning. Nice!
Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight.
General Impressions
Uniquely terrifying premise. I like it!
Favorite Part
The premise and the powerful opening.
Grabbed my attention and kept it.
Approach on the horse:Setting/Mood
The setting didn't add a cryptic ambiance in the flash.
Form of attack:Execution of Plot
Psychological horror is my favorite. So far execution of plot is good.
Star Appeal: Characterization
You did a solid job getting us into his mind, now why should I care about him?
Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
You used internal dialogue and it was most revealing.
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.
Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.
My Comment: Bring on the extension. Let the best Knight win.
Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats the current champion will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
This poem hit a chord, reminding me how life is precious and how our soldiers are so much more than pawns to be used.
You are indeed one sweet poet.
Favorite Part
She patted it as if it were his back
and tears flowed down even more.
"They gave you Medals of Honor with this plaque
that read, "A Marine to the core."
Thanks for sharing this gem with us.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your draft and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
I wondered why you spent much time on menial laundry until I reached the end. It was a nice ending for this scene indeed. I guess the title works for a marker since this is but a small part of something larger. Flawless grammar as well. Good job!
Favorite Part
The ending
Characters
Clever as far as naming your character. She was so poor that you could only afford to give her one "n" Lyn.
Plot
Interesting set up.
Setting
Not my type of story, but I guess it's acceptable for a first draft. Perhaps you can emphasize the sunny day, or scorching sun. Something to clue the reader in on the girls acceptance or not of her daily life. Of course, you address it somewhat later on. The mention of a bright, breeze-free day may help set up the end a little more. Nevertheless, the ending did pack a punch.
Dialog
Not much offered but what was offered revealed much with plot. Well done.
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.
Some line-by-line comments follow, some trivial and some with more substance.
Your text: I thought the tone was rather mundane which I guess you did on purpose. I question characterization. Don't people want what they don't have? Would she really be satisfied with her mundane life? My Comment: I recall my younger days. I was an avid daydreamer. It's just a question of reality, since I know you're concerned with that element when it comes to fiction.
Keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
Actually, this was such a cool story. From the intriguing opening and the steady build up of suspense, this little flash piece packed quite a punch. Great job!
Favorite Part
Your vivid descriptions and your writing style.
Pretty intense!
Characters
Considering the limitation, excellent job.
Plot
I see this could be part of an action packed suspense novel. Please tell me you're working on it.
Setting
Decent job. With flash pieces, we have to trim the setting down but you still managed to use the setting to relate a sense of major despair. Fantastic.
Dialog
No words wasted here. Smooth and smart. Nice.
My Comment: Thanks for sharing this wonderful little piece.
I'd like to see an entry from you in Joust of Horror. Thanks for the ride.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hi, this is Nomar. This is a such a beautiful poem.
General Impressions
Extremely well written. My only complaint was that the clues for the birdwatcher were that of a child and then jumps too quickly to the child having her own children. You wrote this so good that I felt sad for it ended to quick. I guess life can end in a blink of an eye. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.
Favorite Part
The bluebird's compassion
Well done!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked this poem too and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
Brilliant, dark, psychotic mood to this. I enjoyed the blend of confused state with a desire for love, begging the creator for release was realistic. You are a fine poet. Thanks for sharing this piece.
Favorite Part
The transition from Scifi beginning to psychotic horror state to a plea to end the misery.
Superb!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hi, this is Nomar. I'm reviewing this story because you entered it into the Joust of Horror Short Story Contest. Let's see if you have what it takes to be a Knight.
General Impressions
This is a flash of horror. I know you're good, but it seems you keep getting better with every word you commit to paper. (virtual or otherwise) Good job!
Favorite Part
what belonged to the dead should stay with the dead.
This would be great for a future prompt. I wish I had wrote that line.
Approach on the horse:Setting/Mood
Loved how you didn't waste words and managed to sprinkle enough of the setting to get me into the story but what made your opening great was lines like the one I highlighted. Superb job on setting the proper mood right away. Loved the voice in this one.
Form of attack:Execution of Plot
This little tidbit was entertaining and of course, has me begging for more. I can't wait to see how you add on to this. Could it be their will be a joust in your future? Time will soon tell.
Star Appeal: Characterization
Two characters and both are intriguing. You managed to create an antagonist that I'd love to read about in different settings and plot developments. Sounds like a keeper to me, Bill.
Tenacity: Dialog's Authenticity
Love the revelation of a tenacious bad guy and how you captured his voice. I could swear I knew this guy when I was a kid, living in the Lower East Side in Manhattan. Perhaps I can borrow your character so I can relate something the person I'm thinking about did in front of me when I was just seven years old. What a mean old son-of-a-gun.
My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. However, I couldn't spot anything that would possibly improve this flash piece. Hmm, can you smell the arena? Armor, horses, sweat; all so close. Will you be the first Knight to challenge me?
Good Luck in the contest. The fact that you entered a story, makes you a Knight. Only the Knight that defeats Nomar Knight will be dubbed a Black Knight. All others will be considered good guys with the rank of dark warriors.
Hi, this is Nomar. I thought your poem was interesting and I wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
A Haiku is normally about nature. I love it when writers think outside the box. You took a man made object and allowed the reader to interpret what he may for the clock reveals the nature of time in numeric form but doesn't tell of all the secrets that occur in life. Clever!
Favorite Part
Your bravery for posting this gem on this site.
I guess humans are like clocks. We go off every day on our routine journeys and perform tasks for different reasons. Eventually, life can get to the point that we do things without contemplating the bigger picture. We do things because we are simply accustomed. Perhaps the more we do things, the actions blur so that we can't see why things happen. Hence, is it noon or midnight? I guess ignorance is bliss.
You maintained the technical aspect of Haiku, as far as I know, to the correct form.
Thanks for sharing.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your poem and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
I loved the refrain in this. I just wish it were longer so you describe more details about the couple. You did a good job in getting my attention but I felt somewhat cheated because I don't know much about the lovers. Who were they? Were they cheating on their spouses? How old were they? Were they kids? Was it forbidden love? Was it two people in their golden years? Normally I like mystery but what you wrote was so good that you left me wanting more.
Oh well, thanks for sharing.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
Dialogue only, what a challenge and you did a good job!
Favorite Part
The entire identity crisis.
I know about the struggles for one identity trying to come out and take over the original personality. It's tough. (No it isn't.) Yes it is. (Don't pay attention to him, he's crazy.)
See what I mean?
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Nomar Knight
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
You did a good job with this story in that your imagination was on display and entertained me. I thank you for that.
Favorite Part
The story's concept.
Characters
The story was rather short so there wasn't much room for adequate characterization but if you were to extend this piece, you can show how each student related to each other, particularly the girl. You did a solid job with the young men.
Plot
I like the concept although you had a few type o's that created some bumps in the road for me. Nevertheless, this part can be easily fixed with a little more proof reading. Also, you rushed through some of the action, skipping main points so instead of painting a clear picture, I saw a canvas with paint strokes that were seemingly out of place. My best advice for this is take your time and when you rewrite, read for inconsistencies with plot.
Setting
I felt this part was very rushed. You drew my attention with the antagonist's domain, but I would have loved to see more imagery. Same thing with the basement or cellar.
Dialog
This part was pretty good.
Thanks for the entertaining read.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hi, this is Nomar. I liked your story and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.
General Impressions
This morning I struggled high and low to find something good to read. Just wanted something quick and entertaining. I checked out the request for review page, nothing worth commenting on; at least the short stuff. Then I tried pushing the random button. Again, nothing interesting. Finally, I remembered my favorites section. As always, I figured I could count on you for an entertaining read and I found this. You did not disappoint with this small gem. I'm glad you're on this site, Bill.
Favorite Part
The entire set up for the ending that packed a punch. Although, once you revealed the man's past, I understood W.D. Wilcox's morbid mind would cook up something special. And you did.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nomarknight
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.13 seconds at 8:29pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
All I know is your touch is a brand on my soul,
)