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897 Public Reviews Given
898 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
It seems like you were in somewhat of a frenzy when you wrote this. I can indeed identify with the feeling. I do most of my writing at night; at least the best stuff. There are fewer distractions at two in the morning and as my brain is in overdrive anyway I use it.

Even when I am not writing I am writing; in my head, scenarios running around like maniacs, merging into one another, keeping me awake.


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302
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Review of Breaking the Seal  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I knew immediately that you were talking about a security seal as used with bonded goods and high value cargo. However, it has been known for seals and other creatures to be transported by truck so the confusion is possible.

You need to re-read your story and check that it is how you intended. There are a few places were words appear to be missing.

I thought your story was very funny. Have you thought about entering
FORUM
The Comedy Club Contest Open in new Window. (E)
A Contest For The Funny Side Of Life. CONTEST CLOSED
#1965952 by 🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author IconMail Icon
?


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Review of Dees Cesar  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I think your tale is quite funny. It is the grammar and punctuation that are not quite spot on although some might be typos. First line phone or phones? Second line 2500 office(s).Missing speech mark after mind.

Third paragraph try:

"His name is Dee, right," my husband said.
"No, his name is Cesar."
"No, he answered the phone with his first name, his last name is Cesar," my husband said.(argued/insisted)
"No, his first name is Cesar, his last name is Salazar," I replied.

ETC.
Each speech should start a fresh line to show a different speaker. And try using alternatives to said.


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304
304
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I love your anachronistic take on the bible. I have my doubts about the veracity of many of the tales within. OK, some of the jokes were a bit lame and as a Brit you lost me with the baseball stuff. Overall though, I thought it was very funny.

I saw no obvious problems with spelling or grammar.

** Image ID #1966130 Unavailable **


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I am not a religious person but I can appreciate other's belief. What I struggle with here is that you say that you have been a people pleaser, doing things for others and neglecting yourself. You want to change this. Yes, you have turned to your beliefs for guidance but surely following those beliefs will lead you into more of helping people and neglecting yourself.

I have been a people pleaser, a do gooder, a faithful friend who everyone can rely on. But now my health has suffered as a consequence of putting others first. I have had to learn to say that magic word 'NO'.


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Review of The Copper Kettle  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A simple tale with familiar characters told in a few words.

Typos I spotted:
when we can use the Enterprise create on." - to (create) one.

... trade items over there," he pointed to the center of the room. - who pointed?

Ten minutes to beam down the salt? Really?

Spock hand the kettle to his mother. - handed

I like the idea that the copper kettle has saved two races and stopped a war.


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307
307
Review of End Of The Line  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I like this free poem about a suicide. All though it is not rhyming verse it does have a certain rhythm. You capture the inevitability of someone determined to end their life.

One little hiccup; third line, through the souls of my naked feet. Should it be 'soles' or was this deliberate?


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308
308
Review of Chicken Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your chicken dance but it seems incomplete. You have your portions, you make your stock; what then? I can smell the frying bones and veg. Taste the stock, season, then what? You drink the wine but then you forget to eat. I'm hungry. Put down the bottle and get on with it!


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am presuming that Jacob has a disability as he is still in diapers when of school age. I like the way he sought revenge on his sister for her ridiculing of him. The first paragraph is a bit long and who is Jaime? Is this a typo or is their a character I don't know about?


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
You have built up quite a good sketch of your character Volusia. You could maybe have presented her with certain challenges and decided how she would act in order to develop her further. Maybe you have done this elsewhere.

I am not sure the class system had developed in prehistoric times. And France as such would not have existed.


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311
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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I thought this was hilarious. I am sure I have met a few of THEM myself. Although I have never sold a home I can feel for your wife. I like the way you use glasses of wine as a counter. You don't say if you were successful with your sale. If I had the money ...


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This works very well as an introduction to a course. It clearly states the thoughts and expectations of the tutor. It explains his beliefs on the subject. It outlines the process students will be going through.

I am not sure I agree with your saying that 'You can give the lessons a lick and a kiss and learn a little or make an investment and learn a lot. Regardless of how much, you'll improve as a writer and the degree is a function of what you put into it.' This may give the student permission to slack off.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I can tell by the staccato sound of this piece that it is flash fiction. I like the imagery of the dog's behaviour. I have a dog and this is very real. They eat anything don't they? I can imagine your character having trouble adjusting to city life after a rural upbringing. I have had the reverse.

My college was in a rural location and the silence was deafening.


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Review of Trial  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
For so few words you have said so much. You have a good balance of action to dialogue. It is easy to visualise both the fight and the black cat that was once a woman. I was recently criticised for using elipses to break up speech but here I feel it is appropriately used.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I think your story idea is a good one. The first chapter is well written. It is not long enough to call it a chapter, maybe a prologue. In this part of the story you have captured the feelings of your character quite well. If you apply the same to the rest of your story it should work out well.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really like this story. Spooky but not a bit scary. You have taken the history of a real person and created a piece of fiction which I am sure Hazel would enjoy if she was still around.

You handled the snow storm and Bill's fate with great clarity. Enough to give you the shivers. And I like that you rounded things off with further reference to his painting.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Surely it should be climbed out rather than walked out of the vehicle. 'Are you can pay it all off?"' Couple of words missing I think. This is obviously part of a longer story and does not quite stand alone. It is currently too short to be a chapter.

The two parts seem a little disjointed as they stand. The first section gives the impression that the money is for gambling. I think you need to add considerably to this section. Describe what it felt like to go to the bank for such a large loan. Show us the building, the teller.

The second section is much stronger. Continue in the same style and you will be well on your way.


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Review of Seamstress  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the imagery of this piece. I can see Sally surrounded by her animals, sewing her garments, which were obviously treasured. I think maybe the courier knew her secret but chose to keep it.

The story flows well from beginning to end. It has an ethereal quality.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice twist. I really like the idea that this roughneck backwoods type should be into opera. In very few words you conveyed Elroy and Timmy's background and character. Well done. The vocabulary used was pitched just right. I would like to read more of their adventures.


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Review of Joe's Night Out  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A really scary but very funny poem. You missed a couple of rhymes but that can be forgiven. I am glad Joe and his mates only come out on Halloween. Imagine if that lot were on the lose all the time.

Your pussy recipes sound interesting. Got any for dog?


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Review of The Silence  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Santa with a twist. I wonder how many letters to St. Nick are of a similar nature. I am sure there have been requests to return dead relatives or provide transplant organs. Horrific but with a sense of realism. A very good take on the traditional Christmas yarns.


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Review of The Consequences  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Watch out cheaters everywhere. I can imagine how this guy must be feeling. This is similar to the people who come to during an operation. Some of it sounds a little awkward. For instance you could try - The figure moved about the room, keeping to the shadows, and began preparing something. That is just my opinion, it is your story.


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very good explanation of your user name here on WDC. Mine is equally well established. At college I decided there were far too many Sue Cooks in the world and sought a pseudonym. As I was in the bar at the time the bottles gave me and my mates the inspiration. Odessa brand vodka and Molinari vermouth.

She soon took on a life of her own with a whole back story. She can be found all over the internet; in chat rooms, on RPG games etc. She lives the interesting life I can only dream of.


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Review of Worthless  Open in new Window.
Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a very emotional piece about a suicide. I hope that it is not written from personal experience. You might want to check it over for repeated words and phrases. And dividing it into paragraphs would make it easier to read on screen.

You could lengthen the work by bringing in memories. Who told her she was worthless? What led her to this dark place?


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Review by Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is very sensatively written. I can put myself in the place of this woman. I liked the letter she would never get to send. It is very true to life. The falling blossom starting and finishing the story rounds things off.

Maybe it could be considered more as a vignette than a complete story but that does not detract from the storytelling. This might be the start of a novel. What happened to her husband? What is going to happen to her?


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