OMG to funny. Is this a true story? Um what is a collage student and they only one may I say playing hide-and-seek with a bunch of elementary kids. And, apparently not to many people are pressuring college kids to attended or he wouldn't have been the only one in his age bracket. Needless to say all of the kids parents must be high of weeds if they are letting their kids play in a highway. Please tell me this is not for real. But, even if it is it is still really funny.
Very emotional and short. A very nice read. I see one mistake which I'm sure was just an over sight. In the last line you misspelled myself. Keep up the good work.
brief description-about life and how people wish they was dead but not
Should sound something like this- about life and how people wish they were dead but not.
Line 1 -I wish I could wake up from my life to see to light once again,
need to remove the word to.- will flow much better with out it.
my head keeping my thoughts clean remembering,- hard to understand.
It is kinda confusing to read. The point you are trying to make is a good one. It just needs a little work. It has a lot of potential. Keep up the writing.
And, welcome to WDC.
nicely done.
like the way you admit you are naive but also smart enough to know right from wrong.
shows your not quit an adult but just old enough to take on responsibility.
a very nice read and something all young adults and their parents can relate to.
This is such a wonderful and heart gripping piece.
Your family and your self hold so much strength inside. You hold great power in your writing. You do it with elegance and deep emotion. You are able to share your feeling so well on paper you pull the reader in to truly share the experience.
The photos add so much to it. Put a face with your writing which has the reader form some kind of attachment. Which I think is wonderful.
The survivors who struggle through the left over rubble and pick themselves up are the true heroes. It shows strength and courage in life its self.
Congratulation on placing 2nd in the contest.
You done a great job. Enjoy the way you made the reader feel the emotions of the family and the mothering passing. It honestly brought tears to my eyes.
I can connect with this story personally. When my mother in law feel sick from complications with diabetes.
We keep asking her, you want to get better so you can go home don't you. When she would say yes she wasn't talking about going to her home but going home to heaven.
The day before Halloween my friend Joe and were dared to go in that stupid house!
Think you for got to put I in it.
Joe and I*
I think it could use a little more description of the house on the hill. Other then that its alrighjt
I think if you worked with it a bite more you could pull it up to it potential.
I 100% agree with you. I look at it this way We can sit back and humanly Euthanasia animals to end their suffering when there is no more that can be done for them. Why not a human. If there is no more that can be done for them. And they are to the point where the pain is unbearable. Why, make them handle that pain until death finally takes them. That is inhuman in my eyes. I feel they chose not to because nobody wants that on their conscience. That (God) may judge them in the end.
I believe that will always remain a mystery. I watching thing on it all the time and still sit back and wonder. I can't see of any mistakes from here. Keep on writing.
A very hard subject to handle.
Nicely done. Looking at pain from another's point of few *the family. Most people that commit suicide or attempted suicide never realize the impact it would take on their family. And, no one ever writes about the family. Great job and very tastefully written.
One could take this several different ways.
What I mean by that. This person could be some one that is abused looking for help.
Someone with depression wanting change.
An old person left to live life alone.
I think it adds to it. For the reader maybe able to personalize with it on their own individual way.
Good job. Keep on writing.
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