I read a few of the postings and enjoyed the input and thought that is generated here. I seem to look for new and untested thoughts in postings of this nature. Although nothing here is new to me I did enjoy it and the thought behind it. I will be back and will add to it.
I liked this and read through it smoothly. I don't see the need for the bold paragraphs but it doesn't hurt the story at all. This was interesting and kept me interested throughout.
One mistake: 3rd paragraph
"your right leg -->blances<-- on top of your left knee:"
I found this written very well. Your thought came across great too. I got a bit bored reading through the first half but the last part brought it together and kept the first part in perspective. I enjoyed this. Wishing and dreaming of a wonderful and happy moment and than being slapped in the face with reality is the pain many face and you played it off well here. I will be back to read more of your work.
Reason
One mistake:
"-->the<-- phone rings and for a second she stares"
Your writing and thought flow very well here. I enjoyed this piece and read it as if I was floating down a peaceful stream. I especially liked this sentence:
"It is the gruff neighbor who doesn’t volunteer at the church festival but always manages to plow the sidewalk down the entire block when no one is looking."
This is written very well and kept my interest all the way through. I read through this smoothely and didn't stumble once. I loved the conversations, questions and answers. You bring things across quite clearly. I enjoyed this piece a lot and will be back to read more of your work.
This was an interesting piece. I read through this well and didn't find any errors. Point and case articles are hard to write but you did this well. God seems to always come into play but you didn't dwell on any one subject and that was refreshing. I will be back to read more of your work.
recording of the brunette walking up to make her
This is written well and interesting. You did keep my attention throughout. One thing that distracted me and confused me is listed below:
"request. Her breasts bounced seductively, her smile lit her face and anything else within twenty yards, then she winked
[at Danny]
at the camera and turned on her heels to disappear. The image spun back to just before the wink, ran ‘til just after it, and looped about fifty times in sync with the beat. Those eyes – the"
This is a great idea. When I first saw this I had all kinds of stories bouncing around in my brain pan. After the clanking echoes stopped I had to come and R&R this just because the idea behind it is great. The only thing that would make this better would be to make it a contest and offer some awards. I will visit your port. I like the mind behind this, so far. lol
This is a very insightful and helpful reminder. I sometimes forget to comment on the writing and stick to that. Sometimes I comment on the subject matter and this tends to spark off a vicious barrage of hateful email. I try to be honest and sincere. I forget that sometimes if you step on someones ego they revert to petty revenge. I wish there was a way to block some members from emailing or rating items. I will refer back to this to remind me and it is now in my favorites.
This is written well and quite biased. It would be great if you delved into the Christian - mainly the Catholic - Protestant wars and killing that have gone on for thousands of years and up to recent history in Ireland, or the fact that the Catholics caused the creation of Islam mainly with the crusades. The hypocrasy and killing the christians have done throughout history far outweighs Islam violence. We seem to only focused on what is happening now. Only because there are Christians are there Muslims. The people of that time had to protect themselves from the Christian rightousness that was viewed by others as hypocrasy and Masacre. Muslims were once the inteligent thinkers and scholars of the world. Some of my facts may be off a bit but only a bit. I would be very interested in reading articles like this on some of the other religions of the world. There are many Christianities some new and a lot lost. Wow - I went off a bit but I think you wrote this knowing it would spark a fire.
This is fantastic. I was captivated throughout. Your writing is very good and made me a spectator in the house. The end was a shock and added to the story very nicely. There was a lot of emotion felt at the end. I will be back to read more of your work!!
I was very entertained. You captured these charactors and brought thier life right into my kitchen or me into thier home (lol). I can learn a lot from you and will be back to read much more from your port. I read through this quickly and easily and longed for more.
This would be great as a poem or a letter. You expressed yourself well but the format you chose doesn't seem to work. I enjoyed the sentiment behind this.
A few mistakes:
Our -->sitution<-- seems
love you so much yet
-->at<-- sometimes -->i<-- can hate you
-->i<-- can't kiss your
My love you know-->(comma after love?)
who you are I hope you-->(period after are?)
I like your writing and will come back and rate this again after you do what you want with it. Keep up the good work!
You asked me to come and review this for you and now I am going to. I appologize for taking so long.
I can see that you have learned much since the last time I read your work and I find it interesting the way that you interpret our meaning with your Chinese upbringing and education. English syntax must be hard for you to comprehend but your writing is understood and it is interesting.
I will give you a few things to ponder. I won't get to involved because I don't want to discourage you. Your enthusiasm and perseverance impress me.
You wrote:
"I have just moved to Tainan County for 5 months ago."
This might read better for an American audiance if written: --> I moved to Tainan County about 5 months
ago.<--
You wrote:
Actually, I has grown and lived in Tainan County until I was 19 years old.
My version:
Actually, I was born and raised in Tainan County until I was 19 years old.
I hope this gives you some idea. I know that you are thumbing through your Chinese/English dictionary right now. I hope you have learned some new words and ideas. Let me Know. I try not to make spelling errors because I know how much it confuses you but then again you may already know I make them and you find them.
This is challenging and gets the point across of how important help is wanted and needed here. I know I need and appreciate the help and have had people ask me to help them. The awards are outrages. I love this and will participate. Great idea!!
I really enjoyed this article. Another small person who had an enormous effect on so many. This made me realize how fast we forget someone when they are gone and what impact they did have on our society. This gave me a somber feeling and to remember humility.
I liked this very much. It shows us where we turn when we are lost and scared. I think everyone has turned this way in dire times but most forget when times are good again. This flows well and has a lot of meaning. I will be back to read more of your work.
I liked it. I'm no expert with poetry but this flowed well for me and I got the full message and feeling that it was meant to portray. The wonder that is in all our minds is brought out well here. As always, I will be back to read more of your work. This is a good one.
This flowed well and my bobbling mind was brought into the vision. I see it and see it every day. I read through this smoothly. This was thought out and written well. I'm not sure what the Bold was to signify but it didn't matter. As always, I enjoy your work.
Very well put. This has a lot of the same criteria that I put into my work. Too bad Christian has turned into Hypocrite and the Sunday go to church Christian has no idea why. They cheat, lie and scam but for some reason (not me lol) they feel they are forgiven with church. There is another quote in the bible (I don't have it off the top of my head) that states there is no mercy for these people. There are a lot of good people out there but there are a lot of whiners too. I am glad you brought this to light here. Sorry for running on with the jabber. I liked your piece.
This was very well put. Your explanations are very precise and too many people read far too much into what is written. I like the way you expressed:
"biblical writers had no concern at all. Genesis, for example, is not a recipe book for making people. Even if it did explain in detail how God created the world, it wouldn't fit in our heads and would need concepts for which we have no words. But how would God communicate with human beings in a book without words?"
If it were only known how much of the bible has been torn out and edited it would amaze. To reach an understanding at different periods of civilasation has been pointed out here. Well done!
A very well written and description of one person in our lives. This depicts the ordinary little person and the impact on the world around him that he had. Too many feel sorry for themselves but people like this make our lives so much better.
I read through this very smoothly and was kept interesed throughout. I felt a lot of emotion in this.
I enjoyed this piece a lot.
Reason
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