This story has a lot of merit. The spellcaster's love for her friend is very well understood. The mage she has slain to protect him is not truly dead. You are able to have us see these things in her behaviour.
She felt that the teacher would slay her friend. She could not allow that to happen. The way you brought this to our attention is good. We realize this as she saves him. The end result is that she is weakened upon doing this for him, she has to rest.
Maybe have us further understand what she has desired from him.
Could I ask you to check out my story, "We have to find a Dragon's egg? Chapter 1 and two
The soldier who has to guide the religious leader on this crusade. The soldier is aware of the king wants to happen. The leader does not know about what the trip will entail what the resources will be needed. The room needed for such items to carried across the water to the desert.
The king has prior knowledge about who he is sending there, the knowledge that they will need another military advisors to go there.
The people whom the leader is relying on for knowledge of what is there. They do not know what they are doing, how could they. They couldn't?
This is well crafted. You are able to have us see his desire, the thing that can't be. His dream that he should be out at sea. His boat is not sea worthy, it is leaking. He wishs to be free.
Like his surfing friend, he wants to ride the waves. Be free to allow only god and he to do this. His expression is that he should be there, his desire is that also. But he knows that there is nothing he can do.
Everything is against them. He only wants to be free. To allow the sea to claim his boat, and himself. God is the only one, who knows what will be. He wants to be free.
what a wonderful poem. You are thankful that the weekend has arrived. A time to put your feet up and relax. A time when your job has ended for the two days and the night where you can stay up and play. Go and dance the night away.
Take your girl out and allow yourselves to relax. Together in each others arms, cuddle and dream of the beautiful things you can do. kiss and snuggle up. allow romance to take a chance with you and your love.
love is what you can do. You can do that on other days as well, remember the love you have in your heart.
you have a lot of troubling thoughts there. The fear that you are feeling is true, you have to shake off the bonds that hold you there. Teathered there, you need to release yourself from the memories that are there. You have to forget the past. Realize that you are a live. A L I V E! That is something you should be happy about.
Look at the sun, feel its warmth. Look at the things you consider to be beautiful. If you were not there you would not see these things. You can not change the past. We don't have time machines do we? Well do we,'
I think not. Memories haunt each of us, we see our failures. Have we learned from those mistakes. I think we have. How can you change what has happened before. You can't can you.
Look at what lays before you each day. What can you do differently so you do not repeat yourself. You are aware of your mistakes. If you burn your hand you know you should not do this. So, you don't burn yourself.
each of us has loss in our lives, but if we realize we can not undo these things you will recognize that you are only partially responsible, what about the others there. Did you cause these things to happen.
Believe you are worthy in loving yourself. Love the people who are concerned with you and want to help you. Ask them what they see? When they look at you.
it is a good description of what a battle scene would look like with the combatants having opened fire on the troops. The result of a hit on a vehicle, and the death of the officer there.
The young soldier has to decide what he should do. The officer is not alive, he has his orders in his pocket. So, the soldier has to rummage around in his belongings to find the orders. you should have tried to describe the body a bit better. Have us see the body. The blood his entrails that are presently visible, this is something that the soldier would remember for quite a while afterwards. The blood and entrails spilling over his hands as he dug about with the body.
This well written. The woman has found the blanket she gave her friend, it is covered in mud and rust. The woman who gave the blanket to has vanished, the ruin of the blanket seems maybe sensible. The woman who has found the blanket puts it in the garbage.
She hears a scream in the house, while she is having a relaxing bubble bath. She rushed out of the bath tub. Runs to where the sound originated, finds some body covered in the dirty blanket.
She steels her nerves, and lifts the blanket from the body. She sees a blue eyes like her own the face is her own. You end it there. This is a spooky ending, it fits halloween atmosphere
This is unique. It sounds like the women here are on the top of the world. i agree in some ways we males need to listen to their mates. We should try and help them as best we can.
It is what the women's movement is for. you want to have us become what we see you to be. It will be a hard sell. I can see its merits. But we want to be able to have some fun too. Don't you think, this could be going to far.
I agree that we males have had the ball too long. You should be able to do things too. We should treat each other as equals. My form is not too masculine. I am not an ape. I do not have an abundance of muscles, but I have brians.
This very well designed. You have brought to our attention that in some cases. Somethings you pursue may not be worth their while.
If you desire something, if it does not look as good as you thought it would be. Test drive a car. Relationships you can't test drive. If you feel it is good, talk with the person you desire. See if he or she feels the same way. The only way to know is go out and explore the other person's mind and desires.
If you like a blonde, but you can not find one who pleases you. Have your girl dye her hair, somethings can not be so easily changed. You need to be the original you. Not someone else, but you.
The chapter is good. You have been able to allow us to understand his daughter's desire and the fact that she is blessed with the goddesses and demoness glyphs on her body tattooed there.
The church has sanctioned these to be there. She is not sure as to what to do to find out what they have been doing. The daughter wants to see Jon. Her lover, but if her father finds out what has happened with her seeing him.
Could be their very undoing. The way that you have brought this to our attention is well done. You have us in your very hands, your script is good. My friend keep it up.
This is very good. The queen is to learn magic, the wizard wants her dead so he can rule over the people in her stead, he has killed the king. He attempts to kill the pheonix. The phoenix will not have this happen to him.
The phoenix is saved, he is healed. The phoenix kills the wizard, and tells the queen of his desire to rule over kingdom himself, The queen rules over the kingdom for many years,
This is good. You have brought the king some need for order. He has assigned his clerics to create a crusade upon people who live in a desert realm. The priests know very little about this realm. They knew that the race that lives there has crabs that the queen desires to eat.
They are heathens, they have a belief that women can sleep with whoever they desire, and nothing is done about it. It is accepted. The church objects to this happening so,, they have sent the troops their to gain their land.
Change their religious beleifs. AS they have when they were marshalling troops in our world when they desired to gain things from the realms here in our world.
the descriptions were sound. You are able to convey to the reader an interest in the story. The reader will want to know what the knight is going to do with the bandits who
have attacked the farmer and his wife.
The knighhtis interested in creating justice, but does not concern himself with the events of the people who have harmed the farmer and his wife. He should have done something to protect the dignity of the peasants, he wants to get his just deserts to those who have harmed them.
He does not care about the events of those they have harmed. He feels no grief for the peasants in this event that has happened here. He wants to find those who have sanctioned this attack on them.
it was interesting. You have been able to allow the reader to learn about the lad who wants to fight. He says he is not afraid. This could be true, but I feel. He will learn to be afraid.
Combat is something, we do not understand what it is. It is to have enough strength to draw on one's own spirit, to be one with the creator. To live to be aware of the danger we face, when we enter into a battle.
The danger is that we must learn to rely upon one's self and other people as well. The lad is trying to find his path in this life. It is well done, well described.
You have a poem, that is well designed. You are able to convey to the reader the fact that she is Dracula's bride. you are able to allow the imagination of the reader to decide the facts that should be there for them to decide. It is impressive the work you have presented here.
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