Its short but I was on the verge of tears while reading it. I devoured every word that, too me, seemed perfect. Very well written. Its simple but it sends its message with such emotion loud and clear. I can tell that its straight from the heart and thats what makes it so beautiful.
It is very well written and very original. You can definitely sense the sorrow when a howl and its great that you were able to think of a way to put such meaning into that howl. Very very good read. I enjoyed it a lot!
I hope to see more of your work in the future! I just know they'll be great!
God Bless!
Very emotonal and I liked it. I especially liked the part where you described him having 'black hair like Elvis'..etc.' There you effectively conveyed your deep love for your father. The details make life beautiful, and when you love someone.. thats what really counts.
I enjoyed your poem and I hope to see more of your stuff! :)
Thats real sad, but it a strange way.. I can relate. I've too often given up such beautiful things and people just because of my pride. Sure, regret is there but I darenot speak of its presence. I hate eating my words, even if I know I am wrong.
Is that parallel to what you were trying to convey? hehe! anyways, its really emotional and pretty real. I liked it. More power to ya!
First glance at your poem, I was already impressed by it visually. That's very difficult, what you did and I can only imagine how much thought you put into this.
Secondly, I liked your title because from the start I was wondering "What in the world is this about?!". I love its message, and the words you used are just so powerful and beautiful that its almost impossible for your reader not to be affected by it.
I love it! The fact that you used different language just further stresses the universal and unconditional love of God and how He touches our lives with such beauty.
You have made such a beautiful poem. One suggestion though, why not add Tagalog (Filipino language..I'm Filipino) ? :) Just kidding! Its wonderful piece!
Keep writing! I would love to see more stuff from you!
God Bless
Beautiful poem! The imagery was wonderful and it really touched my heart. You narrated Jesus' suffering well and highlighted every detail which made it all the more powerful.
One thing, though. On the second to the last line...
'We may never forget them,'
Maybe you meant...
'May we never forget them,'
I'm not sure, its just that that line didn't sound right with the last line.
Wow... good stuff! Your imagery is great and you write very well! The lines I loved the most are;
Their lifeless souls,
Chant the echoes of those gone,
I can say the exact same thing. You have very original ideas and bring forward your own way of looking at things. I loved reading your work, I hope to see more from you. Keep writing!
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