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804 Public Reviews Given
1,204 Total Reviews Given
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Review of Polynesia Kiss  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a very nice love poem that has some wonderful imagery. My favorite part is.” A cool, listless afternoon Just before the surf recedes I see her sparkling eyes.” Great job!




Suggestions:


None that i can think of


Overall:

a great read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
227
227
Review of Forgotten  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Forgotten." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


I like short poems and tend to write them myself. This is a good poem and it is something that I can relate to. I guess I am at the age where I am experiencing a lot of my friends passing on. Some are older, and some much younger then I but never the less, they are gone. However, they still live on in my memory. My favorite part of your poem is;"Forgotten breaths where once was life; an image from a time of strife." Very nicely done.





Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
228
228
Review of Illuminated  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Illuminated." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Light always exposes what is hid in the darkness. Once the light shines and you can see, you have hope.


Structure:

This piece is true to its Haiku form with your 5-7-5 syllable count. Usually done with a nature theme, but this is good.


Suggestions:


None that I can think of


Overall:

A good Haiku

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
229
229
Review of The Mirror  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Mirror." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
I think that you wrote a very good story. It grabbed my attention and held it there throughout the entire story. The story moved along very well, and I thought the part about Mary conversing with Anne, by writing words on the steamy mirror was creepy. You have done a great job with this.



Structure:

There are a few things that I thought could be improved upon. You should break up this story into paragraphs with good spacing. It would make it an easier read, especially for people like me with vision problems.
Also, I felt that the part where Mary mentioned Daryl [“Darryl did this to me. The pain won’t stop. Please help me, it seemed to cry.”] To me this should have had the immediate response by Anne; who’s Daryl? Then go on to ask, who are you? I would be curious to know right away who this Daryl was. This is just my thought on it. I would like to have seen a different ending to this story, but all in all yours was good. I may have left it with Anne killing the wrong man, different Daryl Johnston….a mistake. At any rate, I really enjoyed reading your story, and I look forward to reading more of your work.




Overall:

A very exciting read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
230
230
Review of What the f*ck?  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"What the f*ck Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:



At first I haphazardly read over your article not giving it too much thought, but then I realized that it is an interesting subject after all. I did a little searching in the limited time that I had, and found the origin of the word f***. I know it is not really your question, but I figure it is a good place to start out. It seems that it came from the word Ficker, an old Germanic word which means to hit, or strike. Thus some of the terms like “I’d hit that” were derived. Before that scholars believed that there was a language that all European languages were based on called indo-European. In that language there was the word fuk that means to hit or strike. So from that you get the following: Dutch word-focken, meaning breed, begat, strike. Also,the Norwegian word fukka which means to have sex, and the Swedish word fokka, meaning penis.

As far as the editing of those words are concerned; you have the options of taking the word out, using a milder replacement, or use symbols, like you described. Interestingly enough I learned that the use of these, as they are often used in comic books, is called grawlix. Mort Walker, a cartoonist named them that in 1964. Maledicta, is what swear words are sometimes called. And that word is an arciac word meaning; speak ill of something. The opposite of a curse is a blessing, and I wish that you have a blessed day. I hope this is a good start for you. If I had more time to spend I think I would be able to come up with the answer to your question, but in the interim I know that I have learned a little something.




Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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231
Review of Cherished Gift  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Cherished Gift." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I like this poem. Music is indeed a cherished gift for both the one receiving and the one giving this gift. Feelings of love, and other emotions flowing out through song enhances even more the words that are being spoken, and it allows you to hear the ones which aren’t. I have often said; "If you want to hear me talk; just hear me play." Your poem says this and more. Great job!



Overall:

A great read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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232
Review of Love Defined  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Love defined." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You wrote a beautiful poem defining love. Your words were penned wonderfully giving the piece a nice flow while writing a good message. I believe you were using Corinthians 13 as your highest authority; if I'm not mistaken. At any rate, you have done a fine job with this.




Suggestions:

While reading your poem I felt that, in a few areas, you could have phrased it a bit differently to keep an even rhythm and syllible count. It is just a thought and a matter my personal taste.



Overall:

A very nice poem

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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233
Review of Unsure  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Unsure." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

A good piece. You were able to express a lot of emotion in this short poem. Good job!



Suggestions:


None


Overall:

A good poem

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
234
234
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"It's A Monster's World." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Although short, I thought your story was good. You probably had limits due to contest rules. The fact the character was hanging on to his good human emotions is a good idea for this piece.


Structure:

I noticed a few errors throughout this piece. Require should be aquire, and the usage of repeat words and phrases should have been avoided.


Suggestions:


Mentioned above.


Overall:

A good story but can use some editing.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
235
235
Review of Impossible Peace  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Impossible Peace." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is an interesting and thought provoking poem. Peace is what everyone ideally wants, but never seems to achieve. War is an age old institution that will always be with us. Human nature is corrupt and there will always be discourse so long as there is evil; which is in a age less battle with good. At any rate, you wrote an interesting piece. Nice job!




Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
236
236
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I think that this is a good start to a larger piece. Your characters are good and developed well and the story is set up nicely. I enjoyed reading it.



Structure:

I feel that you have over done Jenni’s description a bit. You described her thin waist then right in the next sentence described her face and hair. Then, right after that you wrote;” She held her slender hand over her eyes. I feel that you didn’t need slender since it is plainly seen that she is of slender build.
….. but she couldn't wait to get to her and her sister, Jamie's, tree house.” I don’t believe you need to but a comma after sister. I may be wrong about this, but I had to read over the line a 2nd time wihich interrupted the flow of the story a bit.

“My grades." Jenni scowled and her sister. I think you meant to write [at] her sister. I have seen other errors throughout, but they are easily corrected.



Suggestions:


Go over and make the corrections. As I said they are an easy fix. I realize that this is just the beginning of your story, and maybe you are waiting to edit later.


Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
237
237
Review of Falling  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Falling." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I think that this poem conveys the feelings of helpless and despair. Ailing with no one to live for you feel trapped and helpless. At first I thought that in line 3 you made an error and meant to write nothing. Maybe you did, but I took the “none” as no one to live for. Maybe I am wrong for assuming that, but I think it works also. You done a fine job on this dark piece.




Suggestions:

None that I can see.



Overall:

A good poem

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
238
238
Review of Waves  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Waves." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You poem has some nice imagery. I really like the line;” Something will break the rhythm of the waves.” One can write a good piece based on those words alone. Well chosen! You have done a fine job with this.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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Review of You Were  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"You Were." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Your poem showed a lot of emotion and I liked how you used the different colors to associate with them. It had a nice flow to it also.



Suggestions:


I can't think of any


Overall:

A good poem

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
240
240
Review of Luster of Youth  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Luster of Youth." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

A good poem on aging. I certainly can relate to this. I think that my favorite part is the fourth verse. The only part that seemed a little rough for me is the last line of verse one. It didn't seem to flow as evenly as the rest of the poem.



Suggestions:

Take another look at the last line as I mentioned above and consider it for yourself. Other than that it is fine



Overall:

A very good read.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
241
241
Review of One Moment  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"One Moment." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

We all remember our first love and sometimes reminisce about those times in our past. Your poem shows the emotions felt about your first love. Good job!



Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
242
242
Review of Owl  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Owl." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I am not familiar with the Tyburn form of poetry so I thought that your note was a wise (no pun intended) decision. Without it; I don’t think the piece would be appreciated for it complexity. I am just learning about the different poetry forms, and writing them is sometimes difficult for me to do. In that regards I appreciate them. However, I don’t always like them. I can appreciate your poem for the challenge and effort it took to write, but I just don’t care too much for this poetry form. It’s just a matter of personal taste I assure you. What I like is that you do have a good subject, and your imagery was good too. The reader can imagine this raptor hunting its prey.



Structure:

From what I can see you followed true to the form.


Suggestions:


Can't think of any.


Overall:

It is a good Tyburn

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
243
243
Review of (There Is) No god  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



What if your wrong?




Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
244
244
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Words of Withered Blur." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a very emotionally powerful piece. The imagery painted here was good and you were able to bring to the reader the feelings that are inside you. My favorite part is the ninth verse, which to me sums it up. Good job!


Structure:

Your poem had some good rhyme and seemed to flow along nicely.


Suggestions:


None that i can think of.


Overall:

a very good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
245
245
Review of Forevermore  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Forevermore." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is an interesting piece. You make some good points in this. For instance you wrote;"I AM the answer, I AM the love of your life, I AM God." True God is the answer for us. You speak of help, deliverance, and time to heal. In one sense you’re correct; but we must remember the one who is in control of all things. It is in His time, and it is His way of doing things that will bring about the answer. We often try to dictate when and how, and often get in our own way.


Structure:

I found some errors in grammar and I noticed that you didn't use caps on your[i's] as well.


Suggestions:

Take another look at this and make the changes that is necessary. You already are off to a good start.



Overall:

Interesting, but needs some work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
246
246
Review of Season Opener  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Season Opener." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a nice piece with some good humor. You have some good imagery going on in this. I wonder if the HDTV was a large 62" wide screen; that would be nice. As for myself, I'll go watch the Dolphins live. I'm only less than a hour away from the stadium. At any rate, nice job.




Overall:

A good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.

PS Go Miami!
247
247
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"My Zip won't do up." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Ahhh, this very nice light and humorous poem to start off my day. I liked all of it and thought it flowed along nicely. Imagery was great too. Many of us can relate to their job interviews and the anxiety that goes with them. A did good job on the piece.




Suggestions:


Can't think of any.


Overall:

A delightful read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
248
248
Review of Campfire Creation  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Campfire Creation." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


A very good, well written poem, with lots of great imagery. The flow and rhythm were good. My favorite part was the last verse. You used a fine choice of words here.





Suggestions:


None that I can think of. I don't see any errors in this.


Overall:

A great read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
249
249
Review of Dark Lullaby  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1605683 Unavailable **



Hi and welcome to WDC

Here are my thoughts about,"Dark Lullaby." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a rather dark and sad piece. You bring out a lot of emotion. My favorite part is where you wrote;"Sing a lullaby to this heart; coax it forth from these wretched shadows." Sing is the key word here. Music can be very soothing and therapeutic. You’ve done a fine job, and I enjoyed reading this.




Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
250
250
Review of The Escape Plan  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Escape Plan." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I thought that this story was exciting, but I felt that it needed to have more information leading up to where it started. I am not quite sure what relationship Dave had with Maureen. Other areas could be clarified too. There doesn’t seem to be much of an ending, or an ending at all for that matter. Aside from all this and some grammar errors, it was a pretty good story.





Suggestions:

You have a good start for your story. Your premise is good and it is exciting. You need to do the reworking now. I think it will be worth the effort.



Overall:

Needs more work

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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