First off I would like to thank you for your entry in my contest
Stroll Down Memory Lane.
Now on with your review ~
What I Liked/Didn't Like
I like how you followed the prompt and kept it as your focus throughout your whole storyline.
I like that you were able to tell your story from experience and reflect very effectively the great emotional stress that you were under at the time.
What I didn't like was your use of fragmented sentences. Example-
It is sturdy as in dependable, and has nice cute looking silver wheels, caught his fancy at once.
Also here-
Made similar arrangements for the journey by bus to the top of hills.
You might try rewriting these as -
It's sturdiness and dependability; including the fact that it had cute looking silver wheels, caught his fancy at once.
Similar arrangements were made for the journey by bus to the top of hills.
Do you see how that would improve your writing?
Characters/Plot/Setting
You have managed to describe your characters and make them believable in your story. The plot centers around the mustard colored car and is interesting as it unfolds throughout. The setting is readily vivid in the readers mind.
Grammer/Spelling
Just what I have pointed out in sentence structure above. You may also want to edit this sentence-
so did the little toy car remained with us.
Try using
remain instead of
remained.
Overall Impression
A good write that conforms to the contest rules and takes the reader back in time.
I see the potential here to make it an even better write if you work on your sentence structure.
Write on.