I liked this. It kept me reading till the end. Which isn't too hard with 500 words. Suspense/ horror maybe? I liked it. I hope the guy gets help, seems he could really use intervention here. But great dialogue. How you were able to keep up the dialogue was nicely done. You held my attention to the end.
Interesting enough I guess. Though it seems to insane to be real. What stress the back must be under to support those monsters. Mirage would be an interesting candidate, if not one of the most suitable. It's an intriguing, if not somewhat creepy and disturbing.
I was always curious how you were supposed to review an interactive. I guess I know now. Thanks. I'll try doing that in the future. I won't understand the obsession to expand/shrink characters. After a while, the novelty wears off I believe. But I give you credit for variety and coming up with an idea just the same.
I really feel a connection with this. I don't know what that says about me. I think it's true of life. That sometimes, we're our own greatest enemy. It can be scary how fast you find yourself digressing so fast. I'm not sure of the cure but it's not found by our own power. I think this is really insightful and powerful in it's right.
I like the idea of campfires. This one looks like something I'd be interested in joining.
I had a quote in mind, but I know I'd have to be invited 1st.
I like what you have going here, and I'm glad you have people
to take part in it.
I wish you luck and that you get back to me when you are able.
Okay. Well, this really got my attention. I have to say I was curious how this would turn out. It was too great a surprise. Young child is horribly disfigured and it scars her for life. Eventually, she believes she is a monster and acts on it by attacking an innocent child. Tragic. Very well written.
First off, let me say this is my first review of a religious based poem. I appreciate you taking action and taking that step. Religion tends to get people antsy and I appreciate your ability to use it effectively in your writing. I think this hopeful. It feels hopeful and a certain sense of peace as well.
WOW! I find it rather impressive how just one person can start an ongoing story.
It looked very long and that people really took time for their addition to the story.
I think it shows dedication and interest if something has so long and descriptive missives attached to it.
Just the 2nd line I noticed. Be, instead of being, may work better there. But otherwise I thought you gave feeling to it. Let the reader feel a connection if they'd been through this before. I feel I can relate to this even if not fully. I think you're moving in the right direction.
First off, I like how easy to read it is. How you managed to capture the many ways love can form and accomplish. Some high/low points that love can run into along the way. In the second stanza(?)a word's used that I'm not sure if it's a typo or not. Further along, love is duty comes up twice. Maybe intentional, I'm not sure, just thought I'd mention it. Otherwise, I really liked what you did here.
A very emotional piece. I'm sorry that you haven't had the best experience with people and you've had to learn that the high way. I myself have had my own problems caused by other girls. So, I can understand where you are coming from. I hope you will open yourself up and not let the past stop you from interacting with other people. Especially girls. They can be vicious sometimes, but I also made some good friends along the way.
Okay! Eww, but seriously though, great job overall. It was new to me and sad and unique as well. You are a good story teller and you definitely chose an intriguing piece for a day to celebrate mothers. But I can see how it could be found appropriate. Thank you for sharing and continue the good work you do.
Hello. Wow,You really are a newbie. Welcome. I hope you enjoy writing.com and you stick around. It's recently just been updated, so hopefully you'll be able to benefit from that. I do hope you are welcomed and fell welcomed here. It was interesting and I think you have potential. One thing I noticed:'' My first night out as a real woman.'' You had originally put women. I encourage you to write on and keep going.
Well, a quirky twist to an otherwise normal scenario. It was kind of cute in a weird way. A little imagination helps spread new ideas. I hope you benefitted from your advice and encourage you to keep the creative juices flowing. It was something new and made me smile just a little.
It's funny in a way because exams can feel like that. For me, it was in 5th grade most notably that I would get physically ill the day we would have a vocab test. I tended to do well on them. I can't really explained why I got so anxious over it. They just got to me. Very relatable and entertaining to read. A little changing of words could make it sail a bit smoother but other than that, it was a well put together poem.
I always thought this would be neat t enter. JUST FINDING THE TIME TO ACTUALLY DO THAT IS TRICKY. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUCH INTERSTING TOPICS/THEMES WHEN I COME BY TO CHECK IT OUT. I WISH YOU LUCK AND SUCCESS. AND SOMEDAY IF I GET AROUND TO IT, I JUST MAY FINALLY ENTER A CONTEST. KEEP IT COMING YOU GUYS!
Hello! I think the title of this particular haiku, really sets the mood for this type of poem. It manages to say a lot in a short manner of time. That isn't always easy to accomplish. I like how you used mythology for this haiku. I personally think it makes it that more interesting more the reader.
WOW! Just, WOW! I don't even know where to start. I think I'm just in complete amazement. Of course, we have the good vs. evil here. Things that lead us to sin are sometimes very attractive. We may not even realize how badly entwined we actually are until we're in too deep. Such, an impactful way of putting it.
So, I liked the color since it pops out at you. Good structure here and it flows pretty well altogether. I like rhyming poems personally so that at called to me. The title too, I seem to be drawn to sad stuff at times. I could really get the feelings coming off the poem as well. Well done!
''Subterranean'' is of course a rhyming poem and I love that. It's easy to follow along with,which is always a plus for the reader. It also really flows as far as rhyming up until'' the deeper... on the surface never sure part. Digging and winning okay, rhymes. Draw and sure though, not so much. Maybe a rearrangement of that would work better. Otherwise loved it and keep it up!
Have to say, expecting to be more upset over this initially than I actually was. It kind of didn't match up with what it's supposed to be about. It didn't make sense reading it and knowing what it was supposed to be about. Reading it and the description you can kind of make a generalization of what's going on.
Good for you, I wish you luck in the new year. You're a better person than I am. I'm not great with New year resolutions. I think you are on the right track and wish you luck in the coming year. Good ideas, I'll work on it. I hope you accomplish what you want and have a good summer. I may take a break from college. Good luck.
WOW! Really colorful, I have to say. It does have repetition which in this instance I think doesn't hurt the poem. Might want to think about it for future reference. Big. I liked that, easier to read, definitely. You may want to decide on a set color for the poem since it can be a little distracting for the reader. You don't want that to take away from the message you want them to receive. I loved your word choice too. Maybe a consistency for type. Still getting the hang of colors too,so no worries. Loved it. Keep on writing!
I liked the formatting of it actually. The fact that it was short but you could follow along made it easier to comprehend. It was interesting and just fun to read. It was interesting how it was like ''la,la,la and then LEAVE ME ALONE!'' Almost giving it some attitude at the end. Gives it a little kick ,so it really hits home. Nice work! I'm nominating you for a portfolio award. Write on!
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