It is sad that some countries are not as rich as others, and that the people have to struggle to make ends meet.
This is very nicely written, and I see nothing that needs improvement here.
Also welcome to my home and family, since my real family has disowned and abandoned me. Writing.com is my family now, and I have made many new friends here. I hope we can be your extended family, and that all of your expereinces here are good ones.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
OMG, this is exactly what I have been asking myself since I was 12½ years old. My mother sent me away to an institution in 1961, because she refused to accept the girl in me, that I still need to be, physically.
For 45 years I have cried because of a life that was denied to me time after time.
It has only been in the last 3½ years that I have finally been accepted as the girl I truly am, and a doctor who would prescribe the necessary hormones so that I could actually begin my journey physically, to complete womanhood.
In my port are many poems that are similar to what you have written here. There are stories too, that are just the opposite tho, that have love, acceptance, friendship, hope, laughter, trust, adventure, and every thing else nice. Please visit my port, and you will see what I mean.
Also wewlcome to WDC. We are a family here, and I hope that your experiences here are all good ones, and that you let WDC be a part of your extended family, as they have become mine.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
This is a little hard to understand. I see that you are in the pain of lonleliness, but there is no description of why she left, and all of the emotions that go with a break up.
This could be worded just a little differently tho, because if she left you without a reason, the reason is missing.
It is also unclear if your 2 boys are living with you, or with her.
I use a lot of songs and movies to make my point sometimes, and the song that would be very appropriate here is the Bellamy Brothers song "Some Broken Hearts." The chorus of that song goes like this.
"Some broken hearts never mend,
Some memories never end,
Some tears will never dry,
My love for you will never die."
I use this chorus quite often when I think of how my mother left me to fend for myself at the age of 12.
This also fits your situation too.
I think if you re-worded this poem to be a little more clear, people would understand it better, and your ratings would be better too.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Hi Sam, I'm Barbara, and I love reading different things on WDC. The authros here have such a wide range of interests, it never becomes boring. I am trying to get GPs so I can continue my ugraded membership, which expires in May.
But I have read some very decent poems, stories and ideas here at WDC. I also belong to another writing site too, and both sites are very dear to me, as I have made friends in both.
I will read some of your stories, and I promise that my ratings will be from my heart. I usually give a five because of one reason or another, but mostly because I either identify so realistically with the piece or the poem or story makes me cry or hits me directly in the heart.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Now this gets five stars. I loved this. The drama, the rescue, the thoughts, the radio playing, the paramedic saving her, and the hospital room. Even the message from her family. This all made for a very good story.
This is very excellent, and third place is good, because it got placed. You are a very good writer, and all I have to say is:
WRITE ON!!!!!
With best wishes always,
your friend in the US,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be>'
Thank you Jillian for sharing this heartfelt and very tearful story. It is too bad that John let hi sanger get the best of him, and destroyed what was left of his dear wife's memory. I do really hate to say this tho, but only a man can be that violent after a death. That is what makes this so tearful, because he detroyed her memory in a fit of uncontrollable rage.
Also I'd like to welcome you to writing.com, and I hope that we become your extended family, as WDC has become mine.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Hey I Love Nick, I'm Barbara and I had fun doing this one. Kind of made me remember a love I had wanted so bad, but he couldn't see for who I am. Oh well (giggle). Thnx for sharing this with us.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Thank you Emma for sharing this delightful story. The only thing I would suggest tho, is not to run the dialogue with the unspoken parts of the story. Everything running together, seems to hurry the reader along. Just Separate the dialogue in separate lines, from the unspoken part of the story.
Other than that, the story is sound, and the plot is real.
Welcome to writing.com, where I hope all of your experiences are good one, and that we become a part of your family, as WDC has become mine.
WRITE ON GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
A very good question, Mary. I have been asking myself that for 44 years. "Where did that child in me go? Where is she? I find her, then she plays hide-n-seek all over again. But she is coming out more and more, as she pokes her head out more from around her hiding place. Thnx for sharing, Mary. Very thoughtful poem.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Thank you for this wonderful and enlightening story of a hurricane evacuation. I live in Wisconsin, and what we have here are snow storms and tornadoes. I don't think I'd like living in any of the gulf states, because of the hurricanes. Thnx for sharing.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
This is cute Kare. I laughed while reading it. The title is very descriptive, and the poem flows the way you write it. I have been writing poetry since I was in the 5th grade, and I just love good poetry like this can make me laugh. I really needed that. Thnx.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Luckee this is a very subperb poem. It is just the perfect wording that speaks to me.
If you'd like to know why I am still crouched in the corner being held by the dark, visit my port. Even though I am getting away from the dark poems, and writing more light and wonderful poems, I am still in the dark. I have been here in the dark for 44 years.
Thanks for sharing this with us. And, welcome to writing.com. I hope all of your experiences here, are good ones, and that WDC becomes your family as they have mine.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Starlight, starbright, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish, I wish tonight. For 5½ years I wished upon that first star, that my wish to be physically female be granted, and that I may be taken home on the beams of the moon, and I would be in my own bed soon.
You can't wish upon the moon tho, because it moves so fast, and before you know it, the wish didn't get there. But the first star of the night, will not move so fast, and will always be there through the night.
This is a great poem tho, and I can see that you don't look at the stars because they are further away than the moon. I love looking at the stars, and I still love looking at cloud formations, and playing the silly game of what they look like (giggles).
Thnx for sharing this with us.
With best Wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Shadow, only those of us who have been there, can understand the ocean of misery. I have been and am still there. If you'd like to see my ocean of misery, visit my port.
Thnx for sharing this.
With best wishes always,
your friend,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
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