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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/summerschild
Review Requests: OFF
159 Public Reviews Given
385 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The description was sidesplitting! *Bigsmile* I kept rereading and re-rereading and re-re-rereading it... which tells you how monotonous my Sunday afternoons are. *Pthb*

All your cNotes are awesome, the only problem is that there's too few of them *Frown* Make us s'more, please?

But other than that it's a fun way to spend your afternoon, and your GPs. *Smile*


~*♪Winter♫*~
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2
Review of Lessons of Love  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Whoa. That was scary. I completely forgot that this one was filed under short stories and thought that this was real *Blush* so when I got to the biting bit that scared the hell out of me! And then I remembered that this was fiction and calmed down a little. *Smile* You certainly know how to write realistically.

There's nothing to work on, it's great like it is. Keep on writing!

Summer
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3
Review of Flaky Palindrome  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Gothie,

This is cute, a palindrome about Spam! Guess you really like it huh? *Smile* It's really charming; it's "singing the praises" without being over-the-top, which I find nice. And I also liked how most of the lines got foggier in the second half, but the "reflect mirrors" got clearer--like you really were reflecting it with a mirror!

Keep on writing,

Summer *Heart*
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4
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi indiana Author Icon,

Ooh, a good horror story that didn't quite scare the pants off me but thrilled me till the very end! *Smile* The inclusion of a little background on the Banshee was a considerate touch for the reader, thank you. And when Elsa got her comeuppance, that was sweet. *Smile*

Suggestions: A couple of small things.

"‘It’s the Banshee’ he thought."~~comma after Banshee.

Repeated instances of "Banshee"~~consider decapitalizing the word Banshee; I've read a couple of stories in which she is lowercase, but of course this is your own personal reworking and you have complete artistic licence to write it that way. Don't take it personally. *Smile*

Keep on writing,

Summer... who's she again? Author Icon

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5
5
Review of Broken Love  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Anna Delovia Author Icon!

This is a sad poem. *Cry* I know what it's like to keep on loving someone way after they've let you go. You wish they could see; you wish they could know--but they don't, and they won't. Love is sad... and this poem expresses it beautifully.

Suggestions: I would recommend either clarifying or adding a new line to the first stanza, the one that goes "From just two months / You have no idea how close I got / I love you more than anything". I understood it, but it took a little grappling with, since all three are fragments and rather weakly linked to each other. But that's all.

Keep on writing,

Summer... who's she again? Author Icon

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6
Review of Pets  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Camping202 Author Icon!

I love cats! This is a nice, cute poll about something that most people no doubt have very strong feelings about. After all, the saying "Dog is man's best friend" doesn't count for nothing. *Smile*

As for suggestions: How about de-capitalizing the options? Typing in ALL CAPS makes folks feel they're being shouted at, so lowercase is definitely the way to go.

Also many polls add "--please email me" to the "Other" option, just for extra feedback; another option.

All in all a clean, easygoing poll about a topic dear to our hearts! Keep on writing,


Summer... who's she again? Author Icon

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7
7
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon,

I hate it when people tell me, "Let it go! Relax! De-stress!" Why don't they realize that if I could do what they say, I would already have done it? Jeez. If it were so easy--it isn't--I would have done it, people. Thanks for the advice. *snorts sarcastically*

Anyways, once I get my rants over, this is actually a pretty cool poll. To be honest every single saying you mentioned gets my skin up but "Let it go" is the worst one.

Keep on writing,

Summer
8
8
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi A.K. Thorn Author Icon!

Yeah, I'm quite the conspiracy theorist. I think that the software giants might have a hand in some of these suspect things. Especially, you know, the virus hoaxes--I guess it encourages people to buy antivirus software--THEIR antivirus software, spurred by these falsifications.

Good poll! Keep it up!

Summer
9
9
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi A.K. Thorn Author Icon!

Finally, a poll about this side of 9/11.

I watched a vido once, a movie-length documentary about glitches and gaping holes in the stories the Bush Admin. told us about 9/11 and the Pentagon crash. For example: That the FBI still hasn't released footage of the plane soaring past a security camera, and pictures of the plane either. That the towers were not supposed to fall down the way they did, that there were suspicious plumes of dust emanating from the lower half just before the plane crashed in. So much evidence. I don't know what I believe, though.

Several close friends however strongly feel that Bush had something to do with 9/11.

Thank you for the poll. I am sure many people did not know of this side of the attacks, of the conspiracy theories tainting that day and its president. Well, here's to hoping that one day we will learn the truth.


Summer
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10
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Spooky, Cute & staiNed Author Icon!

I picked "other," and since you wanted the details, here they are.

I sing everywhere. Even when I'm supposed to shut up and get my work done I end up singing under my breath, but luckily I'm a quiet sorta person so nobody notices. If I'm mad, I sing to get myself under control. if I'm happy, I sing to let off some emotion. If I'm bored, I... sing. (I also entertain myself during long car rides by attempting to remember song lyrics from the depths of the mental memory bin.)

What about you? Where do you sing? Keep on writing,


Summer
11
11
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Author Icon!

Call me sheltered, but I need some confirmation as to what "it" is: is "it" what happens when you throw a guy and a girl in a bed together and turn off the lights?

I voted no, just to be on the safe side. *Smile*

Keep writing!


Summer
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12
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon!

Cool poll! I've also wondered what everyone else would do if an alien jumped into their yard--looks like I've found out. *Bigsmile*

A couple of suggestions though:

~I'm surprised that "Run away screaming" isn't an option.
~Specify in the introduction whether the aliens are good or bad--if they're bad, how do you think they'll take being asked for passports?

And that's it.

Keep on writing!


Summer
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13
Review of Crushes Galore!  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cassie Chassey Author Icon!

I actually had one period in life (OK, it was sixth grade) when I had a crush on three separate boys, but that's over now--thank goodness! *Bigsmile* I still have a crush on one of them, though. I think he likes me too but I'm not sure.

Suggestion-wise, how about decapitalizing "Never Had A Crush!" in "I've Never Had A Crush!" Right now, it sort of looks like a movie tagline.

Also I think the 100 option is a bit out of proportion. How about having options for

~1-5
~6-10
~11-15
~16-20
~20-up ??

In the end, though, it's your poll. Just a coupla suggestions. *Smile*

Keep on writing!


Summer
14
14
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello emerin-liseli Author Icon!

As you can guess, I'm a contestant in this thing, and I'm currently fulfilling the fourteenth task of reviewing your contest. I have to say it's been a... different sort of contest than the ones I usually enter in. This one doesn't ask the impossible of me, and doesn't require, you know, extra research (for example poem forms & etc.). So you could say it was an easy contest. Sort of.

The one task with which I had difficulty was the sock task, wher you had to write a story from the POV of a sock; but that's not a fault with the contest, not much. Only that this was the only task which tested a specific skill. I'm not saying it was bad, just that this made me think twice.

Also another thing that makes me pause is the way you are going to judge this last round. If you are asking for a review of your own item--and you are judging it,as I assume--then wouldn't it be human nature to pick the most pleasing review? This is not an attack on your integrity as a writer *Smile* but just something to point out.

Yet overall I enjoyed this contest. I logged in to WDC each day with the full expectation of a fun, random, possibly crazy task ahead of me, something that I would simultaneously enjoy and have a chance of winning. So yes, I liked your contest a lot, and I hope it goes on for more and more rounds. Long live the UPGRADE AIDE CONTEST! Yay! *Bigsmile*

Keep writing,

Summer
15
15
Review of That Night  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I can feel the pain and redemption rocking through your words. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like this poem was fueled by personal experience; I can sympathize, can empathize, because I've sometimes felt that life is not worth living and I should just jump in front of a bus or something and it would all be over. But luckily, something stops me--just like the blanks, just like the moon, in your poem--and I am thankfully still alive today.

My favourite lines are the first four and the last two. They are almost totally polar opposites but they reflect the dramatic shift in perspective of the main character.

My suggestions: split the lines up into irregular yet logical stanzas. Keeping them in groups of four tricks the reader into believing that the poem has an AB rhyme-scheme, and the fact that it is freeverse sort of shocks us.

Other than that, keep on writing! I see you're new here, so Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you'll learn to love this community too. *Smile*

Yours,

Summer
16
16
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"The Ultimate Reality Show" [13+], your brainchild, is a smash hit that has succeeded beyond anyone's nicest dreams. Having conquered the world of television, you decide to expand your horizons and put your creative genius to work in the film industry, helping Miramax devise the next summer blockbuster. You now stand before the studio executives, sweating bullets and dancing antelopes as you begin to worry about whether you can repeat your earlier success and live up to the expectations.

“Tell us what delicious idea you've cooked up this time, Ly,” says one of the executives. You wonder what inspired the food analogy, but it all becomes clear when you see him sucking on a piece of carrots that's lodged between his front teeth.

“Thank you, sir,” you begin your presentation, stifling a laugh. “I'm sure this movie will fulfill everyone's cinematic appetites. It's cuter than The Hills Have Eyes 2, brighter than Cinderella Story, and even sweeter than The Wild!”

“Those are some bold statements, Ly.”

“That's because this is a bold movie! We'll cast the incomparable Al Pacino in the starring role, as Agent Double O'Nothing, who's charged with foiling the pretty Doctor Shakyswan's plot to achieve world domination.”

“World domination? That damn commie pinko. How does he intend to pull that off?”

“With the most diabolical weapon known to man, of course: the plant pot cannon. It turns every person within a thousand-mile radius of ground zero into a plant pot, and China is the first country on the list!”

“No, not China! I haven't seen The Great Wall of China yet!”

“Remember, sir, it's just a movie.”

“Right, right. But how will Double O'Nothing stop him?”

“He'll infiltrate Doctor Shakyswan's secret base on Western Samoa…but be captured in the process!”

“And how does he get himself out of that pickle?”

Before Doctor Shakyswan kills Double O'Nothing, he'll proceed to describe every last detail of his convoluted, megalomaniacal plot, but will die of old age 64 years later, before he can finish.”

“So Doctor Shakyswan lives in voluntary seclusion on a remote island, yet he enjoys talking to people?”

“Aye, it’s a paradox indeed. He may be an antisocial recluse, but where's the fun in being an evil genius if no one knows exactly how evil and brilliant you are?”

“Wow, a movie that’s full of action and makes you think! Ebert & Roeper are sure to give this two noses up! America will love it!”

“I sure hope so, because I already have two sequels planned: Smartly and Let Heave *Google It* and License to Sing!”

“You make it look easy, Ly! How did Miramax ever get along without you?”


That's my madlib. The only suggestion I have is, clean up the "Bare infinitive" thing. It's confusing to the average reader, especially if your last grammer class was three years ago, or if you haven't gotten into the bare bones of the English language yet. That's it.

Keep on writing!


Summer
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17
Rated: E | (4.5)
That was a cool idea. *Smile*

For no particular reason, I seem to be harbouring a strange hatred against Barney and his ilk. Probably because of his ah-yuck laugh, ugh... also the premise of a talking, singing purple dinosaur is one that really kinda ticks me off.

I suggest adding an "Other" option, in case somebody really really dislikes another character not mentioned. Besides that, nothing else needs fixing.

Keep writing!


Summer
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18
Review of Deserted Island  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nice poll!

I would bring my significant other, he's funny and creative and would be absolutely great with to pass the time.

It's nice to see that 299 people also said significant other!

On the whole it was a creative idea, we're always asking desert-island stories and seeing an actual poll was quite cool.

Keep writing!


Summer
19
19
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, it's pretty cool that two people picked "I can't see any of them!" They must be REALLY good touch-typers then! *Bigsmile*

I actually borrowed a friend's computer once, that had one of the keys broken off; I think it was the "n". So if you wanted to type something with "n", you pressed a weird sort of suction pad that resides under the plastic cap, only the cap was gone... dang it was weird.

Yeah, I guess you're a heavy typer. Either that, or you're an exceptionally heavy-handed person.

Keep on writing!


Summer
20
20
Review of My Wish of Never  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Another beautiful, personal poem from a talented poet... *Smile*

This poem rings with me, absolutely. Why can't the ghosts of our pasts truly let go of us? My favourite lines: "Seeing you in every breath and memory / Wishing I could just cut you out / Not being able to move on to someone else". There are a few suggestions I'd like to make, but overall it's wonderfully done and doesn't really need any alterations.

*Note1* I see from this and your earlier poem that you like appending commas to the ends of your lines; sometimes, though, it doesn't fit well, and periods would be more appropriate. I suggest reading through it again and finding places which are natural sentence endings.
*Note2* "Gracefully prances with shruddering facts that make me tremble in your wake"~~"shruddering" should be "shuddering".
*Note3* "Get out, away from I tell you" doesn't quite make sense. Perhaps rewrite it?

Again, this is truly a beautiful poem; all of my recommendations are just the opinion of one person, it's your poem and you decide what happens to it. *Smile* Keep writing! You have much to offer!

Summer
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21
Rated: E | (4.5)
Haha! It's a nice satire. I liked the tongue-in-cheek-ness, especially the narrator's insistence that stalking was just an ordinary thing and the flippant tone he conveyed his views in. Suggestion-wise, you could put spaces between the paragraphs, make it easier on the eyes; but other than that nothing needs to be mended. Overall a cool read! Keep writing,

Summer
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Review of Witless Wendy  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! This is review #5 from "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window., gifted by your May Secret Pal!

My Impression

Another cute twister! Keep 'em coming, Shannon; cute and funny all the way!

*Paste*Suggestions/Recommendations*Cut*

*Idea* "Witless Wendy" doesn't sound like such a very good title; maybe just "Wendy"--there is little mention of her witlessness in the tongue-twister.

*Idea* This also has to do with the title; why not just call it "[insert title name]: A Tongue-Twister", thus leaving enough space for a fuller description?

*Idea* Take out the "Contest" genre, and replace it with "Comedy" or "Home/Garden"; so long as the contest referred to is over, we don't really need the extra genre. *Smile* C'mon in and fill them genres up!

Typos

*Heart* None. *Smile*

Overall

Another tongue-twister, this time with the letter "W"... Although the title doesn't quite ring well with the twister as a whole, and the description could be put to better use, everything else is fine. What else can I say? *Smile* Keep writing,

Summer
23
23
Review of Shoeshine  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is review #3 from "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window., gifted by your May Secret Pal.

My Impression

Fun tongue-twister! What more can I say? I spewed it out loud and nearly died laughing with both difficulty and delight. Keep it up!

*Paste*Suggestions/Recommendations*Cut*

*Idea*[...] her eyes shimmering with suspense~~"suspense" isn't quite the right word; how about "satisfaction"?

Overall

Veeeeery little to work on! Keep it up! Also keep on writing,

Summer *Smile*
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is review #1 from "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

My Impression

A short story covering the part of a romance that usually gets glossed over--the "Does-he-like-me, what-should-I-do?" phase. And in 1073 words too! The character depictions and miscellaneous descriptions were lovely and fresh. Overall, a good read!

Favourite Line(s)

"What about the wife and kids?" I blurted before I even knew what I was saying. Oh, God. I didn't just say that out loud, did I?

"Pardon me?" He sounded confused.

"I mean, according to the weather report it's supposed to be 102 degrees on Saturday."


Also, the fact that one of your characters was named Elise rang oddly with me, in a good way... my best friend's name was Elise and the odd thing is that she's the total opposite of your Elise! Weird huh?

*Paste*Suggestions/Recommendations*Cut*

*Idea* Ugh! Someone better be dying I thought as I made my way back downstairs.~~put a comma between "dying" and "I", which adds a pause to the sentence where it's needed.

*Idea* Maybe include a bit where Troy confirms whether he's married/unmarried--that's the biggest emotional response I had, apart from joy for Sarah; Is Troy married or isn't he?! Unless of course the suspense is part of the story, in which case I humbly beg your forgiveness. *Smile*

Typos

None.

Overall

A lovely romance story full of suspense, sweet delight, and a slight cliffhanger ending that keeps us hoping. Great read! Keep writing,

Summer

Note: This is a five-part random-item port raid, gifted to you by your Secret Pal! Not me *Smile*... the one you have for May.
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Review of On the Road  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice poem! I get those moods too... mostly I'm careful & etc, but there are "those days" when I just yell something unprintable at the world, get in, and drive around without a seatbelt... yeah. Those days. *Wink*

There isn't anything much to be worked on here. Except, maybe change the description; makes it seem like the poem is about what happens to folks who don't put their seatbelts on.

Keep writing,

Summer
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/summerschild