This is so very sad.
You obviously loved this person very much and he was taken away from you by some careless person.
The imagery describes your feelings for your "love" very well and the accident that you lost him too.
I can only say that time will heal your pain - which is obviously no consolation - and will leave you with beautiful memories of a love that was true and pure.
By writing you have allowed others to share in your pain and see what true love is all about!
I wish you luck!
Frankies Girl.
Being a Londoner myself, I can see why you've written this piece.
The city has changed and the homeless situation is out of control. It's true the rich are rich and the poor have a hard time, but the one good thing about London is that there is plenty of opportunity to be YOURSELF. Yes ethnic communities have a harder time. And yes the poor are disadvantaged - but help is available if you just look for it.
Being an ex local government officer with the homeless, I know that something is being done to redress the situation.
My last comment - London maybe dirty, polluted and whatever else you may feel is negative - but it's still a really beautiful, unique place!
I hope your anger and frustration will be used to find the good sides in whatever you do from now on. Being positive really helps and can produce miracles for everyone.
Good luck with your writing.
Frankies Girl.
This really shows how you've studied every fine detail possible in a breakup situation. You've used vivid words to get your point over. The time reference also adds to the feelings of being lost in such a situation.
Your description of the characters are also so emotional that I felt I was part of the scene.
You get my overall vote for a GREAT piece. Why not work on the idea some more and make it into a short story. I'm sure it would be publised!!
Well done and keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Frankies Girl
You have great descriptive powers. Congratulations!
The feelings came through very well. The beginning is a little "clinical" which in one way gives the feel of a Psychiatric ward, yet in another way seems a little detached from the rest of the story. Maybe you could work on the intro and make it even more intriguing/tragic etc.
Well done. Keep writing and good luck.
Frankies Girl
This piece gets my vote for great descriptive talent. Your choice of words allows the reader to feel the setting very well. I only wish that it could be spiced up a little more with the introduction of some dialogue. Who know's maybe if you play a little along those lines, you'll find that you have a novel on your hands without even trying. Keep up the good work. Good luck. Frankie's Girl.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/valliboldini/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 5:21am on Jul 06, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
