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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whatisconfuse
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40 Public Reviews Given
40 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I just write down the flaws and successes of the story, Usually i pick at the subtlety and foreshadowing of the story, along with continuity and such... !:
I'm good at...
pointing out flaws in stuff (a bit hard with short stories... ((evil incarnate with Novels...)))
Favorite Genres
poetry, poetry, POETRY short stories rock too anything non-fictional just makes me yawn...
Least Favorite Genres
article, essay, etc
Favorite Item Types
static and word search
Least Favorite Item Types
Interactive and Crossword
I will not review...
informational writing, period...
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Sad Clown  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.!*RainbowR*


Wow. Just Wow. Uh 1 thing though, I think this would be more of the 13+ category XD

no highlight, this was amazing...
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successes

subtlety

foreshadowing

confidence

profoundness

grammar

etc
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flaws

a few grammar mistakes but besides that, amazing!
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good but not good enough for a full-on 5 stars ;)
2
2
Review of The Teenager  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.!*RainbowR*


The better of your work I must say...

highlight:
"she's not one to speak
so she writes herself
a seclusion, dotting the 'I's'
her all important capitol 'I's'
counted in a spiral notebook
a lonely two or three of the 'I's'"
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successes

manages to grab emotion

subtlety

profoundness
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flaws

ends a bit low compared to the middle and pre end
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I would advise you try to write something not about writing, considering a lot of the past ones are about writing...
3
3
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.!*RainbowR*


highlight:
"Sometimes the love of writing
circles into a war, a battle within, pages
to number the time it takes
'Author beware,' the instructor said."

great poem!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

successes

1. limited satire

2. beautiful verses
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flaws

1. I feel this would've worked better as a satire poem

2. some verses feel unneeded, for example "it might just make a single move on the chessboard, winning"

3. not nearly enough subtlety
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good poem, but still needs some work overall...

3.5 stars
4
4
Review of Every Night  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.!*RainbowR*


highlight:
"He looks a lot like me.
The only real difference
He is smiling"
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

notes

1. I can see you don't like sleeping with negative thoughts, but then again, who does?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

successes

impressive subtlety

interesting concept

incredible ending!
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flaws

it feels like it's missing something, just something...

a bit of the middle was overdone/felt like filler...
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overall 4 stars

embrace that!
5
5
Review of NO ONE  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


This review was made for SIMPLY POSITIVE
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interesting story, has a feeling of confusion and insanity, which the bold and size matches with perfectly...

highlight:"But I need to know that this has happened before that this is normal, that people often come and go, that people often imagine. It never felt too good to be like me .It never felt too good to catch your boyfriend staring at other girls. It never felt too good to be able to relate to every sad song .It never felt too good to see your mother crying .It never felt too good to be me."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

successes

the second half of it goes berserk and it feels amazing!

captures a feeling of confusion perfectly
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flaws

a bit too, ahem, crazy...
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4.0 stars overall :)

now onto another one! (with this same format ((that I need to change...)))
6
6
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
highlight:
"Metallic colored stars of dazzling greens and blues
Yellow, orange and violet hues,
So deep they feed the hunger of the soul."
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successes

limited vagueness

limited creativity
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flaws

limited vagueness

limited creativity

a bit uneven in quality (some parts are greater than others)

very little subtlety
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3.5 stars overall...
7
7
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very Interesting and great!

highlight:"The way he figured it, Silver Sam could convince just about anyone of anything."
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successes

vagueness

subtlety

intriguing

very strange...
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flaws

almost nothing really, this is my kind of writing :)

only thing is that it is a bit short and no foreshadowing for Silver Sam besides the title...
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if it weren't for the lack of foreshadowing, this would be 5 stars completely...
8
8
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Now I hate reading and reviewing anything informational, but since I got nothing else to do, why not? XD
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successes

clear

understandable
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flaws

a bit too awesome

a bit too clear
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NOTE: The only thing that means something here is the first sentence, the rest is boredom of not doing anything but looking at writing talking...

so I mean no harm, just take everything I said as harmful sarcasm :)

"BOO BAH BOOA BOO BAO" -Buster Bunny/Bugs Bunny
9
9
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
oh XD, well I got myself in a bit of trouble, I don't really want to change the structure of the story completely just for the prompt :(

well I'm not going to change my entire album just for this one contest, and since I'm non-basic, I can't create a new item :(

well at least I learned how to bitem...
10
10
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
highlight:
"In order to pause at the solitary building
To return the unread book
Before he made his way to the school
Hoping to fit in"

this poem was very intriguing to say the least, and that's coming from me, mister erase 1.5 stars for not being subtle enough guy XD
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successes

brilliant foreshadowing in the 1st and 2nd poem

show of a poet might throw away a experimental idea to fit in...
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flaws

needs to have more emotion with the combination of third person and first person (specifically first person)

about it :P
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overall 4.23 stars :)

I like your experimentation, going with 3 stories instead of 1...
11
11
Review of Mother Gaia  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
an interesting poem, after reading all your poems, they share the same word pattern and overall rhyme pattern...

I suggest you try something different, avant garde, short story, etc...

while keeping your skill at poetry

of course this is just my opinion...
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successes

great rhyming (across all your poems)
sense of profoundness needed with almost all poems
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flaws

is not subtle at all (tells everything) now, there is a small amount of subtlety in your other poems, but they just have so little of it...

same meanings, (the last 3 poems have the same meaning behind different words) I'm no hesitant to have the same meaning over multiple items XD, but each item has to have something different besides rhymes...

feels a bit rushed, especially at the end (this seems to vary between each of his Items...)
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overall this work is 3.0 stars, your entire portfolio would be rated 3.5 stars

though with your rhymes and overall patterns, combine that with some experimentation and I can see a writer writing some of the more interesting works here...
12
12
Review of Unsung Hero  Open in new Window.
Review by WhatIsSafety Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
wow! Just wow! This story is amazing. Just. Wow. It mocks society, plots, structure, logic, and beliefs. All in one story. That's just incredible....
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