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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear ZeeZee O'Sevens Author Icon,
This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

 The Redemption of Judas Ray Open in new Window. (18+)
“..I knowed you was the devil's child from the moment you was conceived.."
#1884268 by ZeeZee O'Sevens Author IconMail Icon

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
Intriguing and sparking an interest, the title is alluring and one that attracts readers. I like how for the subtext, instead of telling what will happen as others often do, this actually gives an exert from the story. I have not seen this with any other piece as of yet. I truly like that.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Judas Ray is down and out, relying on thievery to get him between fixes. When confronted by the ghost of his mother, his life takes an unexpected turn. He doesn't know if he is coming or going, but he has an unease that must be settled. Judas has low self worth and very little direction in his life. He relies on others and takes them for their word, even when he knows they are liars and thieves.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
There are no grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written and free from flaw. The story is fluid and easy to read.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall a decent story of redemption and salvation.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon,
This is review #4 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

 The Serpent Medallion Open in new Window. (18+)
When she stole the medallion, did she reactivate the curse?
#1885752 by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
This is an intriguing title, as it lays suspect to an inanimate object and shrouds it in mystery. One must go unravel the tale to find the conclusion.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
A mother that fights for the survival of her lineage, doing whatever it takes to ensure the strength of the family prospers, the queen is looking out for #1. She has no qualms of taking what she needs to get the job done.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*Fast paced, but well told, this is a chapter out of a book. Fully edited with flawless execution, I could picture the events without further explanation.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*I like how the page ends with a new obstacle to be solved. This keeps the story going and the reader guessing. Will there be more? Is this just a chapter, and now I get a full novel?

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
No grammar, spelling or punctuation errors were notated. This is well written and ready for publication.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall, a great story and a joy to read.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)


This is review #2 of 2for "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.in connection with the package purchased for you by JustForYou Author Icon with the "A Dozen Delights AuctionOpen in new Window. event.




*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC
Letter of Invitation to Dorsidhion Open in new Window. (E)
Assignment: Letter of Invitation to Paper Doll Gang Group
#1632423 by ShelleyA~15 years at WDC Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
What a wonderful letter of recommendation for The Paper Doll Gang. I am not sure what Dorsidhion is, unless perhaps a member who was considering joining the group at the time.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This is an assignment letter. To me, from the letter alone, regardless of the fact that I have been here years upon years, I would consider joining this group. You find a new community, you get familiar with taking certain routes, and you sometimes forget that there is this street, or that shop. Perhaps taking the class or joining the group at this stage could be just as beneficial as first signing up. You never know what aspects of the site I may have forgotten.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall, this is a wonderful letter. It is well written and persuasive enough to have me thinking of signing up for classes that before I have never thought.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review of The Messenger  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
R. Walter Smith Author Icon

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

 The Messenger Open in new Window. (13+)
A formless messenger from beyond the stars comes to a tiny blue speck in space...
#1653370 by R. Walter Smith Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
A wonderful tale of intelligence and the search for life in this vast universe. Would we know intelligence if we saw it? If we were searching, or they, were searching, what would intelligent life look like? This is the question put to test by this story. It is an interesting question and the story puts a nice spin on the answer.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
~writing in agony...(should be) writhing in agony...
~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall, I think this is well written. The story is an eye opener and puts things in perspective as well as being a thought provoking piece.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
R. Walter Smith Author Icon

A bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

 The Moods of Spring Open in new Window. (E)
A poem about a spring day in Iambic Pentameter. Published in the Writing.com Anthology.
#1855546 by R. Walter Smith Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
A rhythmic poem of beauty and serenity. The arrival of Spring is broadcast through the land through torrential rains and winds. Now, the beauty of the land is shown in re-birth as Spring manifests.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This is well written with great attention to rhythm and rhyme. The grammar, spelling and punctuation are on point, as it the rhythm and rhyme itself.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This is a beautiful poem and deserving of the award trophy it boasts with the image.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.


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Review of The Ghostly Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
BD Mitchell Author Icon

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

I review six items a week for the aforementioned group. Sometimes, I review more. Having already filled my quota for the week, I came upon this title, and simply could not resist entering another review.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The Ghostly Heart Open in new Window. (13+)
It's up to professional wizard Michael Reeve to uproot a cranky old poltergeist.
#1821886 by BD Mitchell Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
In the realm of wizards and magic, ghostly apparitions often take to haunting houses. Normally this isn't a huge problem, unless you come upon a cantankerous ghost who is beginning to do harm to others.

This is a story of a wizard whose mission is to dispel a ghost from an abandoned house. Can he succeed, and if so, will he be harmed in the process?

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
One question bothered me, if the house was condemned and overdue for demolition, who cared if a ghost lived in it and haunted it. There is no real reason given, as to why it was important that the ghost be dispelled from the premises. How was he harming others? Or was simply his presence enough of a distraction that it drew others like him? I am not convinced there was ample reason to get rid of him, unless all ghosts must go...in which case more needs said on the subject of WHY this must take place.

I liked how the house is personified with voice and action. The way this is told, is somewhat believable for a fantasy piece and this makes it all the more appealing. I can imagine the squeaking and the creaking as being sounds of communication from a house, or ghost.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bikerider Author Icon

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


I am reviewing this item for the coloring the world contest hosted by SHERRI GIBSON Author Icon. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

When I see you again... Open in new Window. (E)
He peered through the window, the future filling his thoughts.
#1890245 by Bikerider Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This story had tears in my eyes and I couldn't answer to others why, because I was so choked up. A story that moves the reader is a fantastic accomplishment.
With attention to detail, you hold the hand and lead the reader into the emotions of a young couple and help them to show the heart.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
You captured the heart and soul of the prompt and delivered a fabulous masterpiece.
The grammar, spelling and punctuation were all in order. I enjoyed reading this as it sparked an emotional and physical reaction.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. *Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*






~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon

This is review 5# of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

This is one of your reviews coming to you from "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. . We hope you have enjoyed the attention you are receiving from the package you won. Keep an eye on your email for more goodies.

I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Waterdrop*
The title of the poem spelled it out plain and clear for me. I was interested on how the father would respond, and that was a great hook to get me to read te poem.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts on emotion and imagery:*Waterdrop*
The image that came into mind was one that was precious and something that should be cherished. The memories of a father and daughter, and the special bond they share.

*Waterdrop*Outstanding questions or issues:*Waterdrop*
This is a well written piece. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors.

*Waterdrop*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Waterdrop*
No, this is well written and was a joy to read.
*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..


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Review of The Novelist  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. *Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*






~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon

This is review 3# of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

This is one of your reviews coming to you from "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. . We hope you have enjoyed the attention you are receiving from the package you won. Keep an eye on your email for more goodies.

I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Waterdrop*
Knowing this was to be a poem about someone who has written a novel, is as far as I was able to think on this one. I didn't anticipate much more than that. Therefore, I was pleasantly surprised when I read the poem. I found it to be one that the title of this poem complimented extremely well.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the poem?*Waterdrop*
The poem to me was a muse. It was as if the rules of writing, or a how to write a novel checklist, was presenting itself to me. The poem was like a spark of inspiration lighting the darkness of the writing arena. All I had to do was pick up the pen, and this world could be mine.

*Waterdrop*Outstanding questions or issues:*Waterdrop*
~fourth verse, last line: more and more the word "so" is creeping into writing in the oddest of places. Define "so" alive. In this instance, I personally feel that there are a variety of words that would fit in here better and help to complete the ballad.

*Waterdrop*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Waterdrop*
+The only thing that truly stood out, was the comment above. Other than that, the grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order.

*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*
Overall, I feel this is a great poem. It to me is a muse on writing. Something else I like, is the way that it is centered on the page. Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider. The centering can also represent the process that is taken to write the book, thus becoming a novelist, with the ups and downs of publishing.



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Review of TEENAGE MOTHER  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.!




Dear Itchy Water~fictionandverse Author Icon

*Burstp*
A lot can be said for you daredevils that take on this fifty five word contest entry. It isn't easy to tell a tale with such a short word count. I find it commendable and a worthy task.

*Burstg*
They do say that less is more and with this piece I can see the relevance of the statement. This is a full tale wrapped up in a few lines. I like the way that these short pieces can be used as launches for novels.

*Burstb*
I think that this could be made to be more of a personable piece if you give the main character of name, instead of saying "the mother".

Overall this short piece is sound. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This would make a nice intro into a novel. It is a good hook.*Burstv*


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..



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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.!

This package consists of two reviews, and awardicon and a cnote with 1000GPs. You are receiving this package as the day 5 random drawing winner at "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

Dear Itchy Water~fictionandverse Author Icon
Raffle For Writers Open in new Window. (E)
A raffle supporting contests and groups that encourage us to grow as writers.
#1825335 by Itchy Water~fictionandverse Author IconMail Icon


*Burstp*
The lead in to the raffle is a great introduction. It gives the many reasons one would want to buy raffle tickets, as well as suggesting to others some more inventive ways to use raffle tickets.

*Burstg*
The various color schemes make this easy to follow. Having attractive coloring for the individualized parts, is easy navigation and helps to keep track of everything.

*Burstb*
I almost wonder if the breakdown of the pot should have its own color as well, to help to better showcase the recipients of the raffle.

*Burstv*
This looks to be a fun event and I hope this public review draws some attention your way.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..



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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window. [E]*Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*








This is review 2# of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window. . Each week, the individual members pick six items to review, or more, for group credit.

I am stopping in your port today, because I found you in a new authors list. I was eager to see what you had in your port and this caught my eye.

I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Waterdrop*
An intriguing title that makes one pause to think. I simply couldn't pass up a chance to review such as this. Tied in well with the poem in such a way as to compliment the poem in such a way I was smiling.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Waterdrop*
The farmer, such a hard worker, can not believe his eyes. He didn't give up hope when the crops weren't as bountiful as they should have been, so he did what must be done to make the ends meet.

*Waterdrop* What impact do the secondary characters have?*Waterdrop*
The nymph at the door knew what she was doing when she questioned the farmer about his wares. The sweet ripe peach was tantalizing and titillating.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?*Waterdrop*
HOT DIGGITY DOG IT DID. Had me laughing and waking up the house at three in the morning, and that was before I even had my first sip of *Mugb*.

*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*
Overall, I will keep my eyes peeled for the contest you refer to. This little ditty had me laughing out loud and I really enjoyed the visuals this created. I could picture it well.

I read this twice, and that was because I was going to comment about a rhyme couplet being slightly off, so when I went back to look at it, I realized I just hadn't had my coffee yet, and all was in perfect synchronicity.

So, I read the poem a third time, and it didn't fail to bring me a smile a third time. A well written poem. I truly enjoyed this experience. Thank you once again for sending me some humor and whit.



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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. *Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*






♥HOOves♥ Author Icon



*Waterdrop*You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from this campfire:*Waterdrop*
From the title and subtitle I knew I was in for a treat. Realizing that this would be written from many different perspectives and authors, I kept that in mind while reviewing.

From sesame street to star trek, the cows are in for a ride as they traverse the universe and head for mars. This fabulous piece had me laughing in hysterics at the lines and choices each author chose. The calls were coming in from all over the ship and each person stayed in character as they revealed their bit of the tale.

*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*
I enjoyed reading this and am happy to place an award on it.



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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window. [E]*Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*






♥HOOves♥ Author Icon

A deluxe read all about it package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window. in recognition of the day 3 random drawing at "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

*Waterdrop*You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Waterdrop*
Since I know the writer, I half expected a tale of a bovine, and had to go solve the mystery. I was pleasantly surprised that I let this tale take me away with laughter and mirth. I enjoyed reading this piece. The humor and whit entailed were worth the time.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Waterdrop*
A bovine that writes is an interesting visual. I can only imagine the keyboard necessary for the animals that write. Though the keyboard I am used to gets some good use, I bet the one's at the library have seen some animals of a rare breed.

*Waterdrop* What impact do the secondary characters have?*Waterdrop*
Bessie is a friend of Hooves. In fact, if I haven't already sent it, I have a picture or image, from when they were children. I might still need to send that one. Let me know if I haven't sent it, and I will get it right to you. Bessie is very sensible and has sound advice. She is able to asses the situation quite quickly and come back with a fast answer.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?*Waterdrop*
The story moved along quite well. It was fluid and I didn't have any difficulty getting through it. The transition from piece to piece was smooth and nothing felt rushed or hurried.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:*Waterdrop*
Stuck in the library, Hooves must rely on his friend for help. Not sure what to do about the situation, he calls his friend, and follows her advise, though Hooves is unsure of the reasoning as to why. Soon enough, the answer bites Hooves in the tail, or mouth I should say.

*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*
Overall, a great story that had humor and friendship, loyalty and devotion. I was glad I chose this item to read and am happy to say it made me smile.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..


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265
265
Review of Moon Story  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Waterdrop**Waterdrop* *Waterdrop*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window. [E]*Waterdrop**Waterdrop**Waterdrop*






Amay Author Icon



*Waterdrop*You have been selected for review by me, due to your entry in the contest at "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED Open in new Window.. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Waterdrop*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Waterdrop*
The title was intriguing. I found myself wondering what the two had to do with each other. Perhaps the two together are intertwined in a story that will bring even the toughest of giants, a tear in the eye.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Waterdrop*
At times, I found it hard to determine if the main character was the child, or the moon. I found as I read, that the child was the main character, and the moon was the lullaby or secondary character.

*Waterdrop* What impact do the secondary characters have?*Waterdrop*
The moon was the force that held the mystery and intrigue in the story. Though the mystery and intrigue were basically surrounding the moons existence and how it seemed to keep time with the birth.

*Waterdrop*How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?*Waterdrop*
The pace and flow were easy and light like a lullaby sent to soothe the child. It was poetic in nature and derived from the heart, as the story is told from the dad's viewpoint.

*Waterdrop*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Waterdrop*
This is well written. I did notice a few places that could use some work:
~ when you snuggling snuggle...
~When you finally decided to come and join us as the moon seemed to lift off of the water and into the heavens.(incomplete sentence)

Other than the above mentioned, the spelling and punctuation appear to be in order, though I would check with someone else on the comma usage. I am not well schooled in that area.

*Waterdrop*My overall thoughts:*Waterdrop*
Overall, I enjoyed the sweet story. A great entry.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..


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266
266
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.!

This package consists of two reviews and a cnote with 1000GPs.


Dear ~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon

*Burstp*
I have read this several times over, but have not, until now, stopped to review. I think each time in the past, I have been distracted and never been able to finish the review. I am here to complete your package for "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOWOpen in new Window.

*Burstg*
Beginning with the image, this is a very adorable piece. Being partial to hearts, I am very interested in the text of the image. Something I truly like. The image is soft and inviting.

Moving on to the color of the text, this is bright and draws the attention of the reader, due to size and color.

*Burstb*
A very interesting story on the origin of your username. I once saw a contest as to how you came upon your name. I can't remember if I entered or not. I do think that this is well written, and fun to read. This item is free of spelling, grammar and punctuation error. I have enjoyed each and every time I read this and am glad I finally got the review in.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..



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267
267
Review of I'm Okay  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. ♥♥♥♥♥






Vivian Author Icon



*Burstb*You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Burstv*
It is funny, how many people often ask, in the course of a day, just how a person is doing, but don't really stop to see the answer. Many gloss over it as if it is something that must be asked, but they don't really want to know the answer to it.

*Burstp*
This short piece is an eye opener. From reading this, I can see you aren't a complainer. Those of us that know you, seldom here of these inflictions and how they interfere with your everyday life. Many who have never experienced any of these, will never truly understand the depth of pain you are in. Some may even look and wonder how much is an act. I can tell you, reading this top to bottom, I can relate to this piece on a level most will never be able to fathom.

*Burstg*
You remind me of my grandmother. Someone who continues on, never voicing a bad thought, simply doing what needs to be done, to care for the two of you. Seldom asking for help, you will plug away at the task until you get it done.

*Burstb*
As I read this piece, I could find no errors with it. It is very well written. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. The story read as if you and I were here in conversation. This is effortless to read, and is an
encouragement and inspiration to many.

"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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268
268
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Nephiliem Author Icon

This is bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

At your request, I am here to review for you. I see that there are currently four chapters residing within this book. I will start with this cover page, and work my way inward.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

 The Bone Shadows Ring Open in new Window. (13+)
A story based in the World Of Darkness game White Wolf Publishing Inc
#1864542 by Nephiliem Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This outlines the idea behind the book, and the origins from which this idea is derived. It has a sense of mystery and a great title. I am not sure the reference in the title to the White Wolf Publishing Inc, but it must hold some semblence of relativity.

Something to notice, this has no rating. If you need assistance with this, please visit "Content Rating System (CRS)Open in new Window.for help with Content Rating.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
There are many grammatical issues with the beginning piece.
~In you your world...
~ Manley Mainly because...
~is a world power...
~brake down breakdown ...
~ humans will believe...
~scene sense of security.
~ The World of darkness world to create a story (capitalize the whole title)

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
The lead in to the story has intrigued me, despite the issues at hand. I am curious as to what I will find inside, especially since I have never heard of the publishing company listed, nor the book, game, or title it is derived from.

"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..


*Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1*
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1*




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269
269
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dr M C Gupta Author Icon

This is review 5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

You entered the 94th round at "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. . This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1* First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

 HASTA LUEGO--award winner Open in new Window. (E)
Beloved bids farewell to the lover called to the battlefield.
#712329 by Dr M C Gupta Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
A freestyle rhyming poem, this is a poem that speaks to me of sadness and love, respect and adoration. This is meant to declare the love, and yet in the same instance show support and strength.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
In support of the love, there is no deciding factor as to who is leaving and who is staying. What I mean to say, is that this is a poem that transcends genders and can fit into any situation.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall this is a great poem. I liked the overall emotion that pulls through each line. The support given by the voice of the poem is realistic and very endearing. That draws me to the poem.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

*Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1*
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1**TulipV**Vine2**TulipY**Vine1**TulipR**Vine2**TulipP**Vine1**Vine2**TulipB**Vine1*




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270
270
Review of Desolate  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear C. T. Hill Author Icon,
This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

 Desolate Open in new Window. (13+)
The world changes... we can but change with it.
#1881844 by C. T. Hill Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
An intriguing title that sparks interest and lures in the reader. This is complimentary with the storyline.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
This is well written. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. It was easy to read and follow without any distractions.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This was a thrilling and suspenseful piece that had me on the edge of my seat in contemplation and eagerness to find out what would happen next. The sequence of events moves fast and we experience this as one of the characters, through this well told story. I liked the twists and turns this takes. It makes you keep to your wits and stay focused so as not to lose site of what is happening.

This is such that it could easily be used to create a novel, based on this storyline.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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271
271
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Shawlyn Author Icon,
This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

 Death is Only a Bullet Away - (Re-Write) Open in new Window. (13+)
Private investigator looking into Industrial Espionage
#1881803 by Shawlyn Author IconMail Icon

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
An interesting title that speaks adventure.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
A man on a mission, pain is only an obstacle he must overcome. Searching for the perpetrator of his shooting becomes his next obstacle to hurdle.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*What impact do the secondary characters have?*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
The two secondary characters, brothers, hired Taylor to investigate their company. Only in doing so, a mystery is unraveled and result in an attack on Taylor.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Though this moves fast, I didn't feel any suspense or thrill. I did find the mystery in finding who did it, but there was no true suspense, hanging on the edge of your seat thrill.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*Outstanding questions or issues:*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*

~firstly~ used two times to many...it doesn't sound right...how about first of all...
though, I did look it up, and firstly is in the dictionary, it just sounds offbeat and detracts from the read.

~how likely is it that with a fragment of a bullet still near a lung he would be released the same day? I had to go look it up. Though a time from for release wasn't mentioned, it is mentioned that many individuals have bullets or fragments still in their persons without repercussions.

~from a much bigger man.

Other than the three items, the rest of the story seemed to flow flawlessly without grammar, spelling or punctuation errors.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall a decent detective story. I could see this playing out much like the "Law and Order" television series.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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272
272
Review of The Chair  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Fyn Author Icon,
This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

 The Chair Open in new Window. (E)
For the site contest, July 2012--Journey Through the Genres
#1877702 by Fyn Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
Upon reading this short piece, I could not think of a more appropriate title. It is complimentary to the story and plays a significant role as well.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
The main character was fighting a battle from within, as well as in the chair. The strength the person exhibits, to maintain composure, is a battle of sure will.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*What impact do the secondary characters have?*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
Sometimes less is more, and in this case it works out greatly for the story. The secondary character plays a huge roll, but we don't find out exactly what that is until the end. In this story the secondary character is portrayed as the villain.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall, I liked this dramatic piece. The suspense of the story had me on the edge awaiting to see what would happen next.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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273
273
Review of Warning  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Keaton Foster: Know My Hell! Author Icon,
This is review #5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
I hit random read, and this poem came up, capturing my attention right from the get go, that I read it through three times, then immediately went to recognize the poem and give it some attention. That out of the way, a review is now in order.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

Warning Open in new Window. (E)
A poem about giving people weapons to deal with life through my words.
#1876662 by Keaton Foster: Know My Hell! Author IconMail Icon

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The lure of the poem was both the name of the poem, recognized with the author. I know of other items I have read associated with this author that are very nice works of art and I knew I was in for another treat. I simply could not resist this sweet offering and had to investigate just what this warning was.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*What do I feel upon reading this poem?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Immediately I felt as if a mentor had just parted some wisdom, knowing I would not heed what was said, it is told to me that the knowledge passed to me is all I will need to succeed in life. I would not recognize this bit of gold until long after the source was gone, only then would the ammunition come back to me. I get a sense of dejavu when reading this, as the character who this is for should. In other words, I became the person the poem is speaking to.

*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
This is a well written piece that had my attention right from the start. Part of that was because of the length of each verse. I read something along this format once, the author told me it was a rant. I am glad to see it used as another form of communication. Put forth this way, it is a message that is driven home by the short and abrupt lines that are in your face, front and center, delivering words of wisdom, and ammunition to arm yourself with.

I enjoyed reading this. I read it three times through, then went and gave it a ribbon, only to return to read it a few more times for the review. An excellent piece of work.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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274
274
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Lyricist_85 Author Icon,
This is review #4 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
While I was checking my email, this item popped up in the left hand side of the screen, as a reviewer item. This means that you have been doing some reviews yourself, and I am glad to be able to return the favor to you.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

 Point Of Isolation Open in new Window. (E)
a boy that is lost and needs to find himself
#1885588 by Lyricist_85 Author IconMail Icon


*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
The title is strong. It in and of itself is what drew me to the poem. I was wondering what a boy, had to do with isolation. Was this going to be about an outcast or someone who is alienated by peers? I simply had to delve deeper.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the placement of the poem and why?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider.

That being said, I feel this would be better off centered down the page, to show the chaos reigning about. Though this reads like a song to me, and how fitting, since I later discovered your handle had to do with lyrics *Cool*

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Punctuation or lack thereof?*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece, but only if this is written for a poem, and not a song. With a song, I would know nothing about how to use the punctuation.
Poetically: Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the spacing, of the verses?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
It appears to me as if this document were perhaps copied and pasted from a word document, and you have the preserve spacing option selected. Each line has a double space, adding extra air and space for the mind to wander on the page. This is a bit distracting for the reader. I would suggest going back in and tightening up each verse. Put a single space in between each verse, and no air between the lines in a verse. I feel this would tighten up the poem and bring it together better.

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*How did I feel after reading this poem?:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
I was a bit confused each time I read this. At first, I thought this was about a child and abuse, or neglect, but the reference to soldiers tears me away from that relation. Then the quest for a selfless being didn't seem to fit with the scars, unless this was a heart broken. Which, a heart could be broken by neglect. I could feel the deep dark depression setting in as chaotic feelings set in, spiraling out of control, until one can do nothing else but huddle in the corner.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*Thoughts on the ending:*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Rather than a poem, I feel this is more of a song. There are a few parts that don't fit for me, and that is with multiple readings. I do feel that the refrain sums up well the feelings of being lost and confused, not sure what is up or down, which way to turn or where to go.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*Outstanding questions or issues:*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Verse two line two: I felt was missing a word. To me, the line should have an addition, making it Bymindless trauma

Third verse, last line: I felt that the last word should be within instead of in.

Fourth verse: I found this confusing, and I am not sure if it is the use of there, should be they'reas in they are, in speaking of the ruins of life, or if it was the verse itself, the voice eluded me.

Sixth verse: I didn't find the correlation in this verse...
profound~ to have deep insight or understanding:
So not having deep insight and understanding, I can follow, but not in relation to the last line, about troops stationed in Iraq, what is the relationship, it is confusing.

If indeed the boy of the poem is a soldier, then is he a boy, or a man, since you are an adult at 18 by most standards, and in the military what differentiates a boy from a man?

I think, if this is about being a soldier, than some other mention or referencing needs made toward the beginning of the poem to tie it together.


*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*My overall thoughts:*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Overall, this is a very well written song. That is my final decision, this is a song and it has a great refrain, though I think it should end with within*Wink*...

I was able to capture the feeling of a deep sorrow, not regret, but confusion. Feeling like you don't belong, and yet, searching for that place within that has a spark to light your way. Sometimes we have to fall long and hard to find our way back up. I feel this is the beginning of such a fall.

I couldn't see the full picture of the poem for it had a few places that were troubling for me, as in the soldier relation to the song. Though maybe I just need to confer a bit with the author in order to see the full picture.

Keep in mind, these are just my thoughts and views, I did like the song, and think it holds great merit.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear J. A. Buxton Author Icon,
Review #4 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.


*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How did I come across your piece?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
It is always a pleasure to come upon something new from you. I find your writing refreshing and inspiring. Each new piece has a special experience to offer and this one is no exception.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view on what I am reading.
 Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary! Open in new Window. (13+)
If only she had a bell to ring like in olden days. The Writer's Cramp 08-03-2012 winner
#1883193 by J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon

*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Thoughts and expectations from the title:*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*
Though the rhyme that spouts this beginning has the same wording, I was clueless as to what to expect when reading the title. It kept the story alive and intriguing. I wasn't able to make any preconceived notions, and that kept the story fresh.

*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*How do I feel about the main protagonist?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
Only once have I felt this experience, or something of the likeness, and that was when I was having my wisdom teeth pulled, and they put me to sleep...before fully losing consciousness, I remember screaming for them to stop...I got scared. I can only imagine Mary's suffering, but wouldn't want to be in her shoes.



*Vine2**Flowerv**Vine1*Are there any technical issues I want to query?*Vine2**Flowerb**Vine1*
This was well written. I never knew what was going to happen, and I won't spoil that for the next reader. There were no grammar, spelling or typos noticed.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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