Here's Looking At You

Winner of "Invalid Item"  Contest for 03/18/06
Prompt: Write a story from an unusual perspective. (For example, that of an inanimate object)
Word Count: 337

*********

Oh, man, she's awake. And this early. It's Saturday, forgodsakes! Why can't she sleep in like normal people? Ah, who am I kiddin'? God knows she's not normal. She hasn't been in the last, gosh, two hundred years--give or take. But, man, she looks great for 240! Well, at least I keep tellin' her that. Heh-heh-heh. Boy, I wish she'd open the curtains. If nothing else for also being up this early, at least let me see the sunrise, forchrisakes. Sunrise. Wow, I can't even remember the last time I saw a sunrise in person. Were they beautiful! But sunsets were just as dramatic, I remember. I loved sunsets, too. Too bad I can't see them anymore. Not from this side of the house, at least. Where is she? C'mon, it shouldn't take that long to do your business in the morning, should it? But, she did have a late night out yesterday. She and her girlfriends were downstairs, yapping it up, until I'd say about one or two in the morning? Yeah, I think it was until two. I know that's not late for most people, but she' s no spring chicken, y'know. Those late-night gatherings take a toll, even on someone like her. There she is. Oh, goodie! She's walking over to the window. Ahhh... Well, no sunrise yet, but at least I'll have a great view from here when it happens. Uh-oh, here she comes. She's got a strange smile on her face this morning. What is up with that? Here we go. She's going to ask me that stupid little question she always asks at the start of each day. She can't help being vain, I guess. I mean, she is 240. Ahem. Clear your throat, focus your mind, try not to say anything stupid...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall," she began in her usual pomp-and-circumstance manner of speaking. "Who's the fairest of them all?"

Don't laugh! Don't laugh! "Why, you are, my Queen!" Ha! I love my job...