Untitled

Untitled Feelings


There was a queer knock at the door. Strange, she thought. It was already bewitching hour. She peeped through the key-hole. It was him.

“He never came so late to visit me”. She was wondering about his unwonted visit as she opened the door for him. There he stood, with vacuity writ on his face.

He entered inside, headed towards the chair in the corner of her room and rested himself there with a big sigh. She was still at the door, her eyes following him- her mind wondering about what could have went wrong. She closed the door and the sound produced, may be, pulled his attention towards her. He looked at her. His eyes were like dusk but the accompanying smile was warm and inviting.

“I’m hungry”, he told looking at her as she approached near to him.

It was already dead of night. Before she could start making any more questions he added, “Didn’t have time for dinner”.

“What do you want to have?”
“Anything you make.”
“Spaghetti?” she was not expecting a nod as she asked him this. She looked at him with a naughty grin. He had never liked spaghetti, especially those she cooked.
“Sure”, he said as he reached for an album in the cupboard.

She headed towards the cupboard and, on the way, looked back at him and smiled within her. Basically for two reasons- first he said yes to spaghetti and second he pulled out the album which he, otherwise, had never loved going through.

There were some normal conversation in between and she could get a sight of him going deeply through the album from the kitchen door.

“What makes you so want to look at those pictures today; you never loved them, did you?”
There was a short pause.
“You look beautiful here, really beautiful”. He said still focused at the picture of the album.
“On which one?” she asked as she came to see the picture. He tilted the album a little bit for her comfortable view.

That picture was taken three years back when they were vacationing together in Hawaii. He never liked the picture for some reasons he never shared, but she thought she looked beautiful.

“Liar, don’t just say that to please me…..do you think you are trying to be romantic?” she asks softly as she grabbed him by his collar and pulled him towards her.

He took a deep plunge into her eyes. He always wanted to see his image in those eyes. Every time he looked into those eyes, he used to thank god that he made them and this time as well he did.

She was almost about to kiss him when he pulled back.
“My spaghetti” he told with an affectionate smile. She always loved that childish smile of his.
“I’ll bite you later, just wait”, she said bringing some made-up annoyance in her face.
He kept himself busy with the album again.

When she returned to the room with a plate full of spaghetti, he was staying mutely. The album was by now at its own place. His eyes followed her as she kept the plate on the table.

“Sit down now, I want to talk to you”.
The words “talk to you” echoed in her ears. She thought about the outlandish expression he was wearing when entering the room, his tired body language, the album.
“Talk to me?”
“Yeah, talk to you” he was smiling when he said so.
“You don’t want to go out of the relationship, do you?”
“If the answer is affirmative?”
“No, don’t joke now. Tell me what it is?”
“No you tell me, what if I really want a break up? What if I am serious? Well, may I tell you, yeah I’m serious”
She kept silent. He waited for her to break the hush but it sustained for a while.


The were together for more than two years and never had she talked this way. Never had she, even in her most horrible dreams, anticipated that he would, someday, come to her and talk about this. He started to eat the Spaghetti with great flavor. She looked at him, her eyes set at his eyes which were fully concentrated in the plate and its contents. She didn’t even become conscious that tears had already rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop that, neither did she want to.


“Ow! Thanks!”
She smiles a made up smile.
“Look, I’m sor….”
“Why? Are you seeing someone else? Why now? You know what that means to me? You don’t, do you? You don’t care, isn’t it?” She asked, with tears rolling down, in one breathe.

He started laughing. Laughing aloud.

“Oh my god, you started all of a sudden. Come on, I was joking. How can you ever think I would be such stupid to ever want to leave you?”
She was silent. Tears were, however, rolling down her cheeks. She was in the dark. She looked at his eyes. They were telling the truth. He pulls her near and kisses her, a long passionate kiss. Never did she felt their kiss so warm, so passionate and so full of love like that day. For a moment both of them were lost and she felt like she wanted to freeze in time.

“Do that again and I will KILL you.”
“I am already dead, you know.”
“Don’t start scaring me again I’m telling you” she told wiping her tears.
“No no no…wait, let me take a picture of yours.”
He made a camera of his hands and clicked while she showed her teeth giving an feeling that she is smiling grudgingly.

“I’m sorry for the hoax I played. I love you so much, so much that I want to start the day by seeing your smile and end the day with your sweet kiss. I wish, like a crazy, to capture all the moments we spent together into a long and never ending movie. Never had I felt like this and I want this feeling to last for ever. I’m sure it will last. It should.”

He took her right hand and started reading the lines. His face gave an indication of gravity.

“I told you not to scare me again, didn’t I?”
“You are lucky.”
“You always say that”
“That’s what you are.”
“Say something new this time.”
“Something new?”
“Yeah.”

He pretended as if he is doing some grave reading.

“Well, lady, your lines suggest me that your life is going to change drastically in a few days.”
“Let me guess”
“Go ahead”
“Are you going to come with a ring?”
He looked at her, utterly flabbergasted by her guess. His facial expressions altered. She was keyed up, contented and glowing. She kissed his forehead.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you so much.”
“I love you too , but…” He paused.
“But?”
“I got to go now, have lots of things waiting me.”
She gave him a quizzical look.
“Work” he clarified.

He walked towards the door and she followed her.
“You are leaving my flat for the first time without watching cartoon on TV.”
“There are always first times…..” he said as he pulled her near. He kissed her deep.
“….and last times” he finished.
“Good night and Love you a lot”
He took his way as the telephone inside her room is ringing loud. She went inside and picked up the phone.

“Hello”
“Hello, may I talk with Ms Sarah Pecik?”
“I am on line.”
“Well Ms Pecik, we have found a dead body on the road between Boeblingen and Eutingen, and found your details in the belongings of the dead person.”
“Yeah.” She started to grow cold and was trembling a little.
“Do you know Mr Stefan Kiessling?”
“What happened?” She felt like the floor under her is quaking.
“We found him lying dead in his car which struck against……..”

She fell on the ground. Her eyes were wide open but there were no tears. The person on the telephone was still talking. She gathered courage, hurried towards the door, opened it and looked outside. The cold night air was blowing tenderly and the leaves of the autumn tree were swinging with them, making some sound, painful for her to hear at that time. She again rushed inside and reached the album. Her eyes stood fixed on the album. The picture was missing.