kayaking in a field of dreams

John rolled over and glared at the alarm clock, which was now beaming bright light into his bloodshot eyes. This is the 6th day in a row that he had waking at 4:04 in the a.m. He had hoped the booze that he consumed last night would have at least given him a descent night sleep. It seemed the emotional baggage he had somehow picked up, unaware of why he had put himself in that position in the first place, had been torturing him! Thoughts of being inadequate loomed over his head like he had his own personal thunderstorm, raining hail and lightning. You see,,, John is a very sentimental person, and he sees and think's of ideas deeper than you could imagine. He is the type to take a sea shell from every beach he has ever been to, and create a piece of art from the that could make the most closed minded person appreciate.
Today John has a solution to his thinking problem. He is going to break his fear of kayaking into the deep ocean,and go past the breakers.
The warm ocean air welcomes John like a long lost friend, he feels the touch of the breeze, and gazes onto the calm ocean surface, mesmerized by how something so beautiful was created for him, he takes in a long sigh; and the dream of the one he used to love crash's against his mind. Oh how he wish's she could have been here! to stand beside him, to see the world through his eye's, or at least she herself, the way he imagined her.
John focuses back on the task at hand. The breakers are small, the ocean is turquoise and shining like an emerald, on the horizon the ocean turns into a light blue; the color of John's eye's. The sand is white, and makes a squishy sounds when stepped upon. The sun is directly overhead radiating pure energy that warms and energizes the soul. With each stroke; John finds himself farther and farther from the beach. His efforts are rewarded when he spots movement on the surface. A few hundred yards ahead, he can see the mullet reaching for the sun like tiny hands as they rocket towards the heavens. There flight resembles the circle of life, as a large silver king explodes out of the hidden depth's and nabs and unsuspecting fish in mid flight. Another explosion, then another, the turmoil has invited another majestic hunter to the scene. While the smaller fish are being pushed to the surface, to escape the relentless attack; a large brown pelican dives straight out of flight into the school of fish. The precision and craft the majestic fisherman uses is bewildering. It seems all is lost for the smaller fish, death from above then death from below. When the action subsides John feels alone once more, and thoughts of Mary Ann fuel his love yet again.
John has taken the road less traveled throughout his life, his thirst for knowledge pushes even the sanest of men into dark utter depression. His views on life, love, beauty have changed in so many ways, that he finds himself unable to grasp what others see, as if he has created his own world. His joy and happiness are not enough to give to this planet, he wants to give meaning to everyone and everything!
With each thrust he moves farther and farther from the beach. As he moves silently through the water, he comes across another creature protruding it's head out of the surface. Eye contact is made and the large scaly head dives below the surface. John excitedly moves to the spot were he last scene the creature, as he looks down, he observes the slow slumber of the big green shell, the large loggerhead paddles with ease, not a worry in it's soul. The turtle chomps on a large pink jelly fish, then turns it's head and looks up at the surface to see John staring below. They are both transfixed on the moment they have just shared. With the brush of it's large flipper, the turtle waves to John. John smiles back, feeling total comfort from the exchange of information, John paddles on!!
Not long after the encounter with one of mother natures most treasured gifts, John finds himself worrying about Mary Ann. More like, how does she feel? What barriers does he need to break? Is he trying to hard and to fast? Why out of all the people would Mary ann be the most stunning, intriguing, and beautiful? John does not want to go down without a fight, but at the same time his own barriers weigh down his decision making. He is more afraid then he let's himself believe. With love in his heart he feels no shame, he is blinded by everything and everyone that has ever caused him harm and anguish. He must move on!!
As John continues to move forward into the deep blue, the sun has moved farther down the line and a few more clouds dot the sky. The shoreline is all but a smidgen of black paint, in the corner of a Rembrandt painting. Grateful for the opportunities given in life, John reflects on some of his most cherished achievements. Learning to ride and rope off a horse,it took only a month to learn both, surfing only took him an hour, skiing the slopes, two hours. A natural to the world of sports.
Out of the corner of his eye. John spots something large and shimmery thrashing about the surface. John moves carefully to area were he spotted the glistening object. When he approached the area, a large gray fin rose out of the water, and a light blow erupted from the head. Two more blows were seen from directly in front of John, then one large bottlenose dolphin lifted it's head out of the water and tossed a small fish towards a baby dolphin. The smaller gray dolphin dove and splashed it's tail under the small fish sending the fish airborne. Then the larger dolphin swam under the dead fish, and balancing the fish with it's snout, the dolphin pushed the fish towards the baby dolphin. The two larger dolphins embraced the smaller dolphin as it flipped upside down under the two. John was left breathless, he had just witnessed the nurturing behavior of his favorite species. While John watched the two adult dolphins teach the baby to fish, he had lost track of time and his location. When the dolphins had last left his sight, John was left alone once more.
Fatigue and today's excitement began to were down John's body and mind. Visions of Mary ann dancing and singing filled his head. The two of them sitting on a beach tossing shells into the ocean talking about dreams and holding one another as the sunset; brought a sense of ease over John's mind. He lifted himself out of the kayak and slid into the ocean. He turned to face the setting sun, then dipped his head below the surface. The rush of the cool ocean water was refreshing, and John would have liked nothing more to stay in this moment forever. As the sunset and light was all but gone, John patted his kayak, and with a gentle shove, he cast the kayak off into it's own journey of life. He kicked back and looked up at the stars. Dreams of a life with Mary ann swam in his mind. With a smile as wide as the grand canyon, John took a deep breath and dove to Atlantis. He watched himself sink farther and father down, until all light was no more.
John bolted straight up in bed with a cold sweat. Gathering his wits, aware of the beautiful smile lying on the pillow next to him; John leaned over and brushed the hair back, then pecked Mary ann gently on the cheek. "Today is going to be a great day", he thought. Somewhere down the hall, in the silent house, a light cry began to fill the air. It just got even better.