Defeated?

I think of you now, I fought evils to trust
But I’m back here defeated, my heart feeling crushed
The worries you had, am I just like a tool?
I helped you in life, and I’m played for a fool
I’ve bitten my tongue, when your phone shows her name
You said it’s one sided.  On who’s is the blame?

Endless tears I have spent, something doesn’t seem right
And I’m back here again, writing into the night
You know all the history, the things that I fear
Now you’ve lied to my face, I feel no longer here
I’m losing this battle as I lay on my bed
And I can’t stop the thoughts when they run through my head.

I can’t help but listen, although try as I might
I put down my pen and I turn off the light
The thoughts are still with me.  Do I have the whole story?
Or will more come out now?  Someone else get the glory?
I’ve always been honest to you when you’ve asked
The answers may hurt you – my words are not masked.

Why is it so hard for you?  Tell me it straight
Let me make up my own mind, lets not leave it to fate
I’m passed angry though, life’s just melancholy
And selfishly now I must think about me.
This has happened before, a re-take of my life
It still hurts from the past, now you’re twisting the knife.