Chapter One

Chapter One.

All I remember thinking as I headed off to the airport was oh man 18-hour flight. I was like a kid, the night before Christmas waiting to open all your presents the next morning. The longest time I ever spent on a flight was about 13 hours but 18 hours was a little bit extreme. We pulled into the parking lot of Corpus Christi international airport. It was about 15 minutes after 8 and I was thinking about how excited I was, knowing that in the next 24 hours I was going to be with the person that I love. I was a little bit nervous about leaving my two and half year old daughter behind and the fact that I was going to another country alone. That might have made me feel a little bit nervous. I was in the Navy for 8 years and I have been around the world several times. This was different though, it had been a while since I have been out side the states, when we do go out to ports we apply the buddy system just for safety. So I was taking a minute risk in going to this country I knew nothing about, and thinking of the possibility that what if I never came back home, what if some thing went wrong. I had a million thoughts and questions going through my head on, what ifs but I had an answer for one and that was, this is worth every ounce of my being to make this relationship grow beyond comprehension. I knew the risk I was taking, I was not about to let fear take over on a couple of what ifs. I knew that wasn’t the case though. I knew everything was going to be all right this trip was going to be a once in a lifetime experience. This trip was going to not only change my life but my future and the future of one special woman.

I have gone through several relationships after my wife. One would think that after a failed marriage and several dead end relationships maybe giving up the hope of finding that one true love was my best option. My friends made the suggestion of me being single for a couple of years. Yes that might have been a good idea, but for some reason they didn’t under stand what I was doing, they didn’t understand how I felt about my love for this woman. I didn’t understand it either. I knew there was something special about Zenki, I felt like she was the one for me, I didn’t tell this to my friends though, they wouldn’t understand. How could you find love from some one you met online would be the response that they would give me, So I decided to prove to them and my family I wasn’t going to make any promises to them I would just show them and the rest of the world that she was the one true love, my true love. Now was the time to take my chance at true love and to feel the passion and excitement one would feel, when they are in love. When I met Zenki I was living at home with my daughter, my dating life came to a dead end, and I wasn’t finding the foundation and substance one needed for a relationship. I decided to take a break for a while and let go of any expectations of finding that true love. It seemed like dating was over rated my experience led me to believe that dating was a wasted game of match making, you would find a girl you thought you liked get to know her hope she liked you pray she wasn’t crazy, try and see if your compatible and then hope for the best. This seemed like a tiresome way of going about it. I decided that in the best interest of my daughter and I was to stay single for a while and focus on my career.

My late nights of working graveyard at the gas station, gave me time to think about how I could better my life and the life of my daughter. I knew that bouncing in and out of relationships was not the right environment for my daughter and one-night stands were just another unhealthy way to fill a void in ones heart. I decided to make a change in my life; I figured instead of being on the sidelines I would start being apart of the team. I quit my job at the gas station and focused that energy on my daughter and my career. I started being happier about my life; my daughter got to know me a lot better. My life was turning around and I don’t think that I could have been happier than I was at that moment.

After I checked in my luggage I said goodbye to my daughter gave her a hug and a kiss and headed off to the gate to check in. I had a long flight a head of me it was going to be over eighteen hours of flying with three connecting flights. After passing the security check points and making it my gate, I sat down in the black leather seats facing out toward the runway. I can’t say the seats were comfortable they were stiff typical black airport seats with magazines and newspapers all over the place. I picked up a magazine and flipped through the pages for a couple of seconds. Finding nothing of interest I placed the magazine back down on the seat next to me and focused my attention on the runway watching the planes as they arrived and departed.

I remember the first time I made decision like this, it seemed more like a decision that my father wanted most of all, maybe a dream to live out a legacy that he was never able to accomplish. My father had high hopes of me joining the US Navy. At the time I wasn’t exactly ready to think about a commitment like that. But regardless if I was ready or not I graduated from high school and needed to grow up and find a job. My father was a very important figure in my life, with out his motivation and dedication to I would of never made it this far. I have him to thank for so many of my accomplishments.

This was the first time I ever left home, the first time I had to fend for myself. It took a lot of getting used to but in the end it made me stronger. With out those moments in my life I wouldn’t be where I am at right now. I am proud that I was able to serve my country. I am vet of one war I have been deployed around the world twice and served in Spain for 3 months. I got out under Honorable circumstances. Those accomplishments in my life were the most important ones to me. There was one accomplishment above all else that I was more proud of and that was the birth of my daughter Emily. These accomplishments set a foundation for my future.

During my first real relationship I wasn’t complete I wasn’t satisfied I was with that person for about five years, and I didn’t know why. I know that I wanted to leave to move on away from that life, I wanted a family, I wanted some ones that I could really love and that person could be in love with me. I wanted that dream and I knew if I stayed were I was at it wasn’t going to happen. We met in late 1999 I was already stationed on the USS John C Stennis US Navy carrier in San Diego. I was twenty at the time and I just like any new sailor in a city like San Diego I felt like gold. I had the friends I had the money not much at the time but enough to have fun. I felt like gold. We met through a friend that was living in the heart of downtown San Diego in the gas lamp district the best party place in town. We hit it off the first day we met; we had a lot in common and just started hanging out. A couple weeks latter I moved in to her place. We started dating exclusively everything seemed great. But I wasn’t satisfied with the relationship, something was missing, maybe my feelings toward her were in the wrong place, but whatever it was had to wait. A couple of weeks latter I got deployed for my six-month tour. I vowed that I would return and that we would start back were we left off. But that was far from the truth. I know I didn’t want to continue the relationship but for now that was the least of my worries. So for the next six months I enjoyed my time over seas I partied like there was no tomorrow. I lived my life and I had fun doing it. Yes I admit I wasn’t faithful and most of the readers would understand if they are prior military or in the military but regardless of I knew I was wrong. Over the years I learned what is to have a committed relationship and tried to excel at that. After my deployment I returned back to San Diego, home sick and feeling lonely I returned back to the same old relationship. I thought that if I gave it a chance I would be able to over come any fears of commitment. We didn’t talk about mirage and if she brought it up I always had an excuse why we shouldn’t get married. I always told her why destroy what we have by getting married, I know that was a cop out but that was all I had to work with.

That was when I learned the truth I learned that she has been in the states for seven years and was an illegal and that once immigration found her they would deploy deport her back home. During this time one of the most tragic events since Pearl Harbor happened September 11th. Our deployment was moved up to early December 2001 and it was time for me to leave again. I had no time for dealing with her immigration problems and didn’t really want to. So once again I left for 9 months this time to serve my country abroad I went to the same ports had the same fun, and just enjoyed my life. I was heading to Hawaii, this was the final stretch of my deployment and I was excited to return back to the states. That was when I found out that immigration picked her up. They were going to deport her, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it except wait until I got back to the states. Lucky for her she had friends on her side; they hired an immigration attorney and started the process for asylum. It took three months for her to post bail. I spent thousands of dollars on attorney fees on a no win case; her asylum appeal didn’t go through. I knew it was a matter of time before she got deported. That was when I realized I wanted out. During this time I was stationed at Twenty-nine palms naval hospital in southern California. I was twenty-five at the time and wanted to have a family kids the whole works, I knew my situation at the moment wasn’t going to allow for that to happen. So I decided to make a change in my life. I got a part time job on base at a snack bar working about five hours a day four to five days a week, it was perfect I enjoyed my new found freedom. I went out and bought a car and enjoyed the moments of being away from, away from the relationship I never wanted, everything was working out. You know the funny thing is I didn’t believe in karma at the time but looking back we all are accountable for our actions. A month in to working at the snack bar we got a new employee. I automatically fell in love with her I thought at the time, that she was the one for me, but looking back I realized that it was nothing more than just a child hood fantasy of lust. She was something I wanted and knew I couldn’t have it gave my life the jolt that it needed. So I made her my pursuit my target. She was going to be my trophy and I didn’t care I knew what I wanted. So I went for it I worked her up talked to her every day dangled the bait in front of her and made it a cat and mouse game. I learned more about her, her way of life, the son that she just had, the unhappiness of her being with somebody she didn’t love. Yes I knew what I was doing and I used that ploy, she told me she wasn’t happy she told me that having a baby to young was the wrong choice for her. So I asked her out to dinner using the front of saying lets hang out as friends and she accepted. We went to dinner had a great time it was getting late so I asked her to come back to my place. My girlfriend was in San Diego doing hair and makeup for some clients so I knew this was the best opportunity. My friend from Spokane was in town at the time the only thing I had to do was convince him it was platonic and nothing more, he saw right through me though and called me out but I didn’t care at the time I knew this is what I wanted to do and nothing was going to stop me from getting what I wanted.. Like I said she came back to my place beyond that I will not elaborate on what happened. We kept that up for a couple of weeks seeing each other late at night her boyfriend got suspicious but our selfishness kept us going and not caring about the opinions of others. One particular night I remember it will be lodged in to my memory forever. We were heading toward our hang out at the state park. We had been doing this for a couple of weeks now and the long hours into the night were getting to me. I started dozing off at the wheel and before I knew it I banked on a turn in the road and flipped my car. It was totaled beyond repair. I knew that this was my karma for the lives I affected for the wrongs I have done. This was a warning for me to straighten up. To this day I know that god was looking out for me.

We ended up getting married a year latter, it wasn’t fancy it was just a simple Vegas wedding. I remember thinking back at the time when we were at the state park just thinking about the future just talking. The moment that stands out most of all was when I set up a goal for us to get married and have a baby by 27. At the time you wouldn’t put much thought into this idea just a bunch of rambling and filling in the voids of time, but I didn’t realize that the forces of nature were at work. The laws of attraction were not known to me at the time, I never even studied anything pertaining to that I didn’t know how the laws worked, I was just coming out of my paranormal phase as you would say. I didn’t really expect it to happen, I didn’t doubt it, and I knew I had a lot of stuff on my mind. After that year everything fell into place we got married had the kid. I wish I could say that it was a storybook ending but it wasn’t it was far from what you would expect. Karma finally got me were it wanted, not only that I wasn’t the best husband to her either. Our relationship is a prime example of why you don’t marry the person you have an affair with 75% of the time the relationship ends in divorce. But it doesn’t take stats to make you realize that your relationship is going to fail it’s a lot more than that. You know from the beginning when the Cinderella period is over and reality hits, you know when you both cheat on each other then maybe its time to leave. Maybe it’s when your neighbors call the cops because they hear the fighting all the time. There are multiple reasons for the divorce. But only one stands out above all else there was no love at all. Above all else you need to have that love to survive, it is not just enough to tolerate that person only when you need to. You have to make that person your best friend your lover companion, you make them the person you want to spend your life with forever, You have unconditional love for that person, you take those vows knowing that through sickness and health, and any other problems no matter what you will stand by that persons side. We call that love plain simple and unbiased love.

After waiting forty five minutes at the gate I boarded my flight, the plane was pretty small the ones that travel for less than two hours and only serve coffee and assorted drinks. I didn’t have a carry on I felt the less I had to worry about the better. I sat in my seat with ease close to the window. I used to love window seats so that I can stare out into the sky and look down apuan the earth with wonder but lately I love the isle if I needed to stretch my legs or go to the restroom I didn’t have to crawl all over somebody to do it. I laid my head back against the chair and looked out the window. The best part about flying is the take off that never gets to old, the rush you feel as the plane leaps forward driving you back into your seat with full force. But it only lasts a couple of minutes and then your flying. As the plane started to taxi I decided to lay my head back and close my eyes and just ponder what brought me up to this point.

It was about mid July when I met my beautiful Zenki. I was at home, just got off work and decided to check my mail on MySpace and Yahoo. For the past couple of weeks I was getting bored with the whole Internet dating I wasn’t into it anymore the chat the meeting of people it was getting old. It was the same every day the conquest to find a new mate basically. But for my amusement I went online to see what Spam messages I got. As I started scrolling down I noticed this very beautiful Filipino girl who sent me a message. It was a friend request. I had rules for this sort of thing; never get involved in long distance relationships a rule that has always served me well. I didn’t want to raise my expectations and have a broken heart. At first I thought it was just a Spam message a random computer message promoting something. So I clicked on her profile and skimmed it making sure it was real. Once I found out it was real I accepted the request knowing that it wasn’t going to come of nothing, just another number for my friends list. I went about my day and forgot about the message. Latter on that night I received another message from asking if I wanted to chat with her on ym, I was a little reluctant I didn’t know what to expect. So I added her to my ym account, thinking that this was going to be just another person nothing of value really. Well to my surprise she came right on messenger and sent me a message, I was a little surprised by how fast she responded to my request.

Let me tell you the next three months until my arrival to the Philippines was tough, I could say it was easy and that all you need is love, but that is not true, love is what brought us together truth understanding and dedication is what kept us strong our faith in god and each other is what made us who we were becoming to each other. It only took a few days, maybe more like one single day before we started being exclusive to each other, and using the word love. Most people would say it was to soon most believe that you can’t find your soul mate while just chatting, true but we were not most people. We were brought together by unseen forces, we were in need of each other, each others love, we were in need to fill that void, she was my opposite as I was hers and that was what made us come together as one. We made a vow to each other; we would always communicate everyday no matter what we would find away. And we did there was not one single day that we missed communication. One of our most important vows above all else was to fix a problem before it got to far we always made sure that before we parted ways we would be in good standing with each other. And it is tough some days you want to walk away and forget about and others you have that motivation to fix it. Those secrets are what kept us together sure we had our bad days and let me tell you we had our trials. Let me tell the biggest trial I did face was trying to figure out how I am going to make such an impossible relationship even work.

I was already working full time in the coastguard and taking care of my daughter, how could I even consider going to the Philippines on short notice, my ex wasn’t giving the support, she didn’t think the relationship was going to last. I told of my plan to go but she wouldn’t hear she was more caught up in her world to even entertain the idea. She kept telling me why I don’t just find a local girl somebody I could see everyday. So I wasn’t getting the support from her my work was very reluctant on me going to the Philippines to meet somebody I just met online. Those were the many challenges I faced at the time. I also didn’t have the money to even think about going, I know that I needed to save up for spending money and food and maybe lodging but I wasn’t sure how I could my job wasn’t making enough I could barely make it as it was. The only thing we had at the time was faith nothing else. So I did do what anybody else would do get a job. But from where, I left my prior job because the hours were a little bit extreme and I wasn’t able to see my daughter all the time. I ended up finding a job by the coastguard station, it was perfect close to work, and I could stay at the station and just work on the days I needed then go home on my off days. Perfect right, well it wasn’t that perfect they would only higher me until the first of October and I still wanted to see my daughter I wasn’t ready to make a sacrifice that big not yet at least. Let me tell you god works in mysterious ways I truly wanted this so bad I was desperate I was going to do anything to get a job even if it questioned my morals I had my heart in the right direction but my mind wasn’t. I went home practiced the laws of attraction that night knowing that whatever positive ideas I had would attract to me. I made sure I took the negative out. I knew that I had to stay focused on the future and of what I wanted I knew that all things good will come to me if I just continued my faith. And it worked the next day I went to the gas station of my old job just to get a couple of items I wasn’t thinking about anything bad I was positive and I knew that I was attracting the good. Right before I left I talked with some of my old employees and bosses, just a casual greeting I told them what has been going on in my life and they were telling me how they were in need of a night clerk and that they would hire me back if I was interested. I jumped at the opportunity, it was perfect the hours were perfect I knew that I found away to fund my trip. That was a start of the many miracles to happen in my life.

I landed in Dallas Fort Worth around 10 am. I had about an hour and a half layover before my 16 hours flight to Tokyo Japan. The airport was busy with the many passengers coming and leaving. I decided to find my gate before I walked around and explored the many shops at the airport. Once I found my gate I decided to check out one of the bookstores hoping to find something to fill in my time on that long flight. Needless to say I couldn’t find anything that peaked my interest. I headed back to the gate and decided to just sit and wait for my flight to arrive. Once I got to my gate I found a seat off in the corner facing out toward the runway, watching the planes taxi.

The only downfall I had with my job was, not being able to talk to my love as much. She found a job working in Manila and since we were 13 hours difference. Our communication time was cut short, that and many other challenges faced us. One of the important key facts that I have realized in life, is that love wasn’t free you had to work at it. You had to make sacrifices taking on faith, hoping that it will pay off in the end. We had our set of trials, which we had to over come. In the beginning I said that our communication was one of the most important parts of our relationship, well that was going to be put to the test. We had several options for communication, such as computer, cell phone ECT. Our main source though was ym. I had ym on my phone. That gave me the advantage of being able to contact her whenever she was online. And with me working night shift it was easy for me to talk to her since it wasn’t that busy. But one fate full day her computer went out. I couldn’t talk to her as much. I did have a phone card though and that made a quick remedy to the solution. But to see her and hear her online was important to me. This was one of our trials. We were so used to having that perfect communication that we took it for granted. So instead of giving up, I bought several phone cards for that week, and cut our talk time down to 3 minutes a day. That week was tough, we didn’t know what was going on, we had to build that trust and faith in each other. During that week there were some days were they were having storms, and knocked out power and I couldn’t get through for a couple of hours. After that week our relationship was not only stronger, but our love became more defining with in our selves. To this day we still talk everyday twice a day for about 3 hours. That was how we built a good foundation, communication was the key.

After waiting an hour and a half for my flight I was ready to board. I wasn’t that fortunate about getting an isle seat though or for that matter a window. I ended up getting the seats in the center of this massive 747. Not much room in this plane it filled up pretty fast. I was fortunate I went to the bathroom before I boarded. I have been on several 747s during my years and despite the massive size there was nothing that impressive. But this particular one was pretty cool there were, TV head rests. I thought wow, now I wont be that bored something to do. But let me tell you those TV’s was not that impressive either. Once I settled into my seat I decided to play with the TV a little I saw some movies TV shows music and games. Before I was able to completely explore this system, the captain started the preflight instructions. Once we were safely flying. I flipped through the system looking for some movies to pass the time. I found several and decided to watch. My mind didn’t stay focused on the movie much, maybe it was because I have seen that movie before but just maybe it was the anticipation of knowing I was only a couple of hours from meeting the woman of my dreams. I laid my head back and decided to get some sleep.

I couldn’t sleep though. I tried to but each time I closed my eyes my mind would keep racing on probabilities and possibilities of what was going to happen. Will she love me, will I love her. It wasn’t that extreme though. It felt right I knew this trip wasn’t possible unless it was going to happen, in a sense I was destined to meet her, my life, my choices everything brought me up to this point. As I sat on the plane, I began day dreaming my past 4 months. The job was going well. Our communication was perfect, but challenges arose. I calculated my funding and I wasn’t going to be able to save up for a plane ticket in time and not only that. I still didn’t have enough to stay out there for several weeks. I needed to book my ticket soon; prices were on the rise and by the time I saved up the ticket would have doubled in price.

So many challenges started appearing, I started feeling over whelmed, knowing for a second this trip was impossible. How was I going to get the money for a ticket, It was going to cost me around two thousand dollars if I got it right now. But what is life without a good challenge, something to keep you on your feet. I took all my courage made the promise that I will make it in November, and I never gave in to defeat. I allowed my self to overcome anything, we create our miracles then god grants them. I started using my resources checking websites, looking for loans anything that would cover the cost, nothing just dead ends defeat loomed on the horizon. I had one more chance. This web site I came across offered flights for service members and their families. I took my chance filled out and application submitted it. And let it go. I knew that I had to let my faith do its work. To my surprise the next day, I got a call from this company; they said they would fund my flight. I was so amazed everything was working out. I knew our love was unstoppable; there was nothing that would stand in our way that we could not overcome. I made the arrangements with the company, so that I could set up an account with them, they booked my flight, I got my Itinerary and went to show my Boo the good news.

She was ecstatic, she was so speechless I think she even cried, this was going to happen and our faith kept getting stronger. I wish I could say everyone was happy for us, my best friend had his doubts my ex didn’t even want to support the idea, she said it was stupid and Zenkis family thought she was living in a fairy tale. We had our work cut out for us, we knew that we had to prove not only to our selves but the world that this was not only possible but it was real it, is what we call love.

The months following my trip were uneventful, I worked most of the time, if I wasn’t working I was taking care of my daughter, or chatting with Zenki my boo. We set in place a good relationship and foundation of communication. This is a love story but this isn’t the typical Cinderella story either. Love isn’t perfect you had to work at it. For us it was everyday. We especially had to work extra hard because of the distance between us. This wasn’t a fairy tale, there wasn’t going to be a happily ever after, we lived our lives like normal people coping wit the everyday challenges that life brought. Every day we worked hard and everyday it paid off.

Several weeks before my flight to the Philippines, I started making plans at work. I requested the needed time off, started making the plans with my cousin to watch my daughter. I had to console with my ex and make sure that it was ok for my cousin to watch her and she obliged. Then the big day came when I went shopping for a wedding. Yes I am actually planning on marrying her. I wish I had all the money in the world to give her but I didn’t me only had three hundred dollars at the time, to buy a ring. I did want to make it special though. So one Saturday I started ring shopping, hoping I could find that one special ring for her. She knew my intent to marry her already, and her family knew. I wasn’t much for tradition on the subject of marrying, my last proposal was a botched one, and I didn’t put the time or effort into figuring out how or when I was going to propose. When I ended up proposing it turned out bad anyways. So this time I planned on making it right. I planned on saying the right thing, and doing the right thing to make it special for her. I did find a ring, it wasn’t the most perfect ring and definitely not the most expensive one either but it held a certain value to me, and I know that it would hold that same value to her. Once I got it I knew it was perfect in my eyes, I knew she would love it. I wish I had the time to resize it but my time was running out and they told me it would take several weeks to get it resized. I took it home that night and showed her what it looked like and she loved it.

I know what you must be thinking, where is the surprise in that, no mystery, no proper proposal, nothing. Yes true there was none of those things just a ring in the box. I think I was more excited for her to see the ring I wanted to prove my love to her, prove that I was making these sacrifices for her.

I ended up sleeping most of the way to Tokyo I was relieved when the captain said we were landing soon. I remember the excitement I felt knowing that I will be in her arms soon. Once I got off the plane I went straight to my gate, I had to go through several check points before making it there but once I got to were I needed to be I was relieved. I just had to wait. I called my cousin to see how my daughter was doing, all was well back in the states so I decided to call my boo, and tell her I was in Japan. For some reason though I couldn’t get through, maybe because I wasn’t using the phone card correctly, either way I couldn’t reach her. Thank god Japan is a technological society, I was able to find a computer and message her the time of my arrival. I was a little worried though because I didn’t think she would get my message on time, but I took a chance anyways.

After waiting about 4 hours, I boarded my flight to manila. By now I was really excited; I was only hours away from meeting my love. Let me tell you though, a couple of days ago this flight wasn’t a going to happen. The night before my flight I stayed up talking to my boo online. We talked for several hours, excited about our meeting, everything we dreamed of was coming together, once we got done talking I got offline and went to bed. It was a little hard to sleep that night but I finally dozed off. I woke up around 5am and came back online to talk to my boo before I leave, we talked for about two hours. After that I needed to get ready for my flight. I took a shower got dressed, woke my ex up so that she could drop me off. By the time we left it was eight forty five. I had plenty of time I thought. We got to the airport around nine twenty, I grabbed my bag went to the ticket counter and thought everything was ok. It should have been. I had my passport and Ids I didn’t miss anything I thought except my flight. That day was the worst day ever not only did I miss it but I had to tell my love that I wasn’t going to be able to make it at all. My four months of planning gone destroyed by my lack of detail. They always tell you to check your itinerary before you leave. At that moment I was stunned helpless and lost. I needed eight hundred to cover a flight going out on Sunday, I didn’t have the money, my money was already invested in this trip and it seemed like it was going up in smoke. I made the call to Zenki her sweet reply of “my boo” made me sad. I took a breath and told her the bad news. “My boo I missed my flight” There was confusion, she started to cry and I just couldn’t figure out the words to comfort, I was speechless... But I took my pride and told her I made a promise and I’m going to keep it, I will come to the Philippines I said. I knew she was crushed now as I look back she was very strong though she made it through on faith in us. Once I got off the phone with her I started making calls, I called the financial place that booked my ticket, but they couldn’t help except to reserve my flight for Sunday, only on the notion I was going to pay eight hundred that that after noon. I only had a couple of hours, and I was running out of time and options. My last resort was my bank. I tried them a couple of months ago, for my plane ticket but I was denied, based on bad credit. I thought could make them approve me now. By this time I was at home online with Zenki trying to resolve this issue and reassure her of our love together. I called my bank and requested a loan for eight hundred dollars. It seemed like I was waiting forever for a response. And to my relief I was approved. Above all else a miracle happened, I never got approved from them before and now I was approved. Needless to say I made it to the bank deposited the money into my account and booked my flight for Sunday November 10. Above all else there were trials and we overcame those trials and became stronger as a couple. That moment I was approved I knew that this was meant to be.