Doctor, Doctor!

Doctor 1 exits a room, looking worried, and approaches two other doctors in the hallway having a conversation. He waits for a break in the dialogue to interrupt.

Doctor 1: Okay, so there’s been a complication with Mr. Googenheimerschmit…

Doctor 2: What happened?

Doctor 1: He slipped into a coma during the operation, he… he might not wake up again.

Doctor 3: So what now?

Doctor 1: See that woman out there?

Doctors 2 and 3: Yeah…

Doctor 1: That’s the patient’s wife; we need someone to break the bad news to her. Someone sensitive, ya know?

Doctor 2: I don’t think I can do that, I’ve never been good with that…

Doctor 3: I… I think I can do it.

Doctor 1: You’re not sensitive.

Doctor 2: At all.

Doctor 3: I’m sensitive!

Doctor 1: You tell rape jokes.

Doctor 3: (defensively) Sensitive ones!

Doctors argue and squabble quietly; patient’s wife notices, doctors stop, see her, and hide around the corner.

Doctor 1: Alright, what if we all go out there tell her?

Other two doctor’s nod, the group moves around the corner to where the patient’s wife is walking around, appearing bored. The doctors mistake this for distress.

Doctor 1: Ma’am?

Wife: Yes?

Doctor 1: Ma’am, I’m afraid that there’s been a complication

Wife: What do you mean?

Doctor 2: I’m afraid your husband has slipped in to a coma, and he may never recover.

Wife: Oh… god… (Begins to tear up)

Just then a man enters from a door next to the door that Doctor 1 entered from, he looks healthy and walks towards the group, wife sees him and gasps, embraces him.

Wife: I thought you said he was in a coma!

Doctor 1 checks his clipboard.

Doctor 1: Uh… Mr. Googenheimerschmit?

Man: Yes, that’s me.

Doctor 2: So who’s in the coma?

Doctor 1: Another Googenheimerschmit, apparently.

Doctor 2: Wow, what are the odds…?

Wife: You’re terrible doctors!

Doctor 3: Hey we’re better doctors then Catholic priests are daycare supervisors.

Disapproving looks all around as Doctor 3 chuckles. Doctor 1 hits him on the back of the head.

Wife: Our son was a victim…

Man: What is wrong with you?

Doctor 3: Can I tell a Penn State joke then?

Cuts to black, then text appears:

MORAL:
ALWAYS APOLOGIZE TO RAPE VICTIMS AFTER YOU MAKE A RAPE JOKE
ALSO YOU PROBALLY SHOULDN’T MAKE RAPE JOKES
THEY’RE ABOUT AS FUN AS THE COACHES AT PENN STATE