First There Is Money. My Advice

My Advice

         When young we wonder what life will bring.  When old we wonder what it all meant.  We think about it.  We talk about it.  We do this in the hope that by explaining our lives we can see a purpose.  This will insure to us that our lives were worthwhile and that we learned things that are worth passing on.  This is what I have learned.

         First there is money.  If you do not have money you’re screwed.  You are either responsible with it or you are not.  If you are responsible with money you will be set upon by those who are not.  They will ask for it, plead for it, just plain take it and even kill you for it.  If you are irresponsible with money you will have a crappy life.  In most societies there is a stigma attached to being poor, and everywhere the police treat the poor as criminals.  Don’t spend what you don’t have.  Everybody ignores this advice.

         There is no such thing as the wisdom of experience.  Age does not automatically confer wisdom and many people get old without learning a thing.  If you are blessed you will have wisdom.  Use it to teach yourself how to learn from your life.  Many people do not and keep having the same downfalls.  If you keep going from bad situation to bad situation you are not learning anything.

        It’s a waste of time for the young to seek advice from the old.  We can tell you how it feels to go through life’s buffeting and battering but it won’t mean anything until you experience it yourself.  This does not mean that the old will not give you advice.  We are full of it and always willing to tell you.

         People will ask you for advice.  Everybody wants it but nobody takes it.  No matter the quality they don’t use it.  They really don’t want advice.  They want reassurance and need that personal contact that allows them to continue down the wrong path.  When giving advice your function is to ask perceptive questions that will allow the asker to come to a solution to the dilemma.  Nodding slowly and saying “Hmm” also helps.

         When giving advice just give advice.  Do nothing more.  Your job is to stress their individuality and how it refers to their problem and points them on a path that leads to the solution.  This is good advice and lets you off the hook.  Remember, the reason the person is seeking advice is because they have a problem.  Are you willing to pick up someone else’s misery and add it to your own?  Do not sink into the abyss of offering assistance.  This will lead to a connection or, worse, a commitment to do something.  The last thing you want is to be involved with somebody who doesn’t know what to do and is messing up their life.  It will spill over into yours.

             The best advice anyone can give you is to take your own advice.  Personal experience will give you much more wisdom than someone else’s and other people have their own agendas.  We all like to give advice on the premise that we are wise and experienced and it will make us feel good doing a benefice to the advice seeker.

         Learn how to do stuff you don't want to do.  The best lesson I ever learned came from my dad.  He taught me how to do things I did not want to do.  He made me do so much I didn’t want to, that I learned what kind of attitude to have to get through it.  Later in life, when faced with an odious task, I knew what mind set to take to get the job done.  This lesson has helped me advance my life.  I’m not telling you what attitude you need to do it.  You have to go out and do it, and then you’ll learn how to make yourself do it.  Each time will be difficult but each time will be a step further.

           Mess with things you don’t understand.  This may lead to new discoveries and inventions.  Most likely it will lead to disaster, especially if other people are involved.  But if you don’t mess with the unknown no progress will ever be made and no problems will ever be solved, nor new ones created for other people to mess with.

           There are people in this world who are always right.  I am not one of them and I really don’t care for those who are.  They are very annoying because they think there’s only one way to do something.  They believe different means wrong.  They do not understand that different does not mean wrong.  I cannot stress this enough.  Believing that different is wrong will lead to tragedy.

         The world is filled with mouths.  Talking to people is the most important thing you will do, other than listening, which you will do a lot of whether you like it or not.  How you present yourself will determine how you are treated.  If you treat yourself poorly, you will be treated poorly.  Sometimes you will meet someone who has strong beliefs and lets you now about them.  They do this with everybody they meet and they do it often.  It may be a political philosophy, a conspiracy to take over the world, or just which lawnmower is better.  But it consumes this person’s life and we all have to hear about it.  When you meet this person don’t listen.  It will be a waste of time and this person will absolutely not listen to you.

      If you want to be a leader make decisions; other people will follow.  It is hard for many people to make decisions and this is why they become followers.  This works fine in everything except where everyone knows what to do.  When this happens nothing happens.  Sometimes if you pretend to know something, you end up in the center ring trying to figure out what to do.  If everybody knows nothing and you profess to know something, suddenly, you’re it.

           Don’t let your politeness get you in trouble.  When walking down a city street and are approached by a weird looking person don’t stop.  Just keep walking.  Trust your instincts.  If you feel you have to say something, just say “I have to catch a train.”  You own nothing to weirdos on the street.

        If you go into a life of crime there are two things to know:
        1. You cannot commit just one crime.
        2. Do it yourself.

        Always have your paperwork in order.  There are many people in prison who started off with messy paperwork.  One thing leads to another and the next thing you know, you’re in prison, or involved in a bureaucratic morass that takes years to never get solved.  In Illinois, for example, there are at least six pieces of paperwork needed to have, and drive, a car.  A title, a plate registration, a municipal sticker, a driver’s license, a proof of insurance and a pollution test pass are all necessary.  Failure in any of this paperwork can lead to the authorities being interested in you.  This can lead to perdition.  Sometimes, when the authorities notice you, the smartest thing to do is to act stupid.  I myself have avoided serious annoyance from authorities by acting stupid.  They just get tired and move on.  People think I am especially good at acting stupid.

         Do not have a hobby that involves high powered spinning blades.  Many a Monday morning I went to work and a co-worker showed up with his hand bandaged or arm in a sling.  Sometimes they never showed up.  This was the result of a week end hobby.

        Don’t be cheap when giving gifts.  Everyone is.  Do not give books.  I have never received a book I enjoyed or would recommend.  Readers are such persnickety pickers of books that it is impossible to make the right choice.  If you know a reader’s specific taste they have already read it.  Send money.  I gave money all my life and no one ever complained, sent it back or didn’t use it.

        The only time money is no good is when a lover is involved.  If you are giving money to your lover, you are not lovers.  If your lover is a woman, small, expensive and glittery usually works.  If it doesn’t, move on.  If your lover is a man a very expensive toy with the latest gizmos attached will do.  Men never grow up when it comes to toys.

           If people change, they usually change for the worst.  If a person has a bad habit it will get worse as they get older.

      No matter what you do some people will like it, some people will hate it and most people will be indifferent.

      The bigger an organization, the more mundane its people.

        Bargains can be expensive.  I once saw someone spend six months and a lot of time and money to save $20.00 on a $200 item.  I'm sure if all the time and money were added up, the bargain would have cost over a $100.  People who are so cheap have small minds and think small so they save small.

        Talk to yourself.  Everybody listens, everything you say is brilliant and you always get the last word.

          As long as we identify politically by race there will be racism.  In Chicago the government has separated us by race.  The official policy is to create voting districts that insure a particular race will win.  This forces candidates to pander to a particular race.  Voting districts should be drawn so no race has a majority.  This would force candidates to make cross racial coalitions to win, which would bring people together.  Isn't this what we want?

Tidbits and quickies:

When I meet someone my first thought is to apprise myself as to whether they are dangerous or will cost money.

If someone gives you free food and you don’t like it, don’t eat it.  If you have any complaint it should be about your inability to provide for your own food.

If people change, they change for the worse.  If a person has a bad habit or an annoying personality it will only get worse as they get older.

No matter what you do some people will like it, some people will hate it and most people will be indifferent.

If people really were individuals and thought for themselves there would be no political parties.

Everybody hates groups they are not a part of.

Write straight from your heart and pull out all the stops.

Work is not fun, that’s why they pay you to do it.

When people need a place to do something they’re not supposed to be doing, they find a place to do it.

People don’t like it when you copy them.  If someone goes out and buys something and then you go out and buy one they get pissed.

If you are mentally strong you can do anything with nothing.

The hardest thing to do is to like someone you don’t like.  This happens when you are forced to be around someone you just don’t like.

When there’s trouble, run.

Where there are men there is wreckage and progress.

When life stops growing it stagnates and becomes a cesspool.

Life always needs to be on the edge of survival to prosper.

Treat her like a queen and spoil her rotten.

Learn the importance of being strong enough to say no.

Old people: We move slow and break easily.

Since I’ve retired I view reality as an uninterested outside observer.  Also every day is Saturday without the traffic.

I like to keep the reader hooked with confusion.

Tell a story simply and plainly and let the reader fill in the blanks.  The more the readers fill in, the more the story is theirs.

Your baggage is not my burden.

It never fails to amaze me how willing people are to bring misery into their lives.

Don’t work for a place that has a Human Resources Department.

All politicians are capable of incredible stupidity.

Anything you’re not supposed to have is worth having.

Write of peoples foibles.

That’s my advice.