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Rated: 18+ · Other · Emotional · #1960230
Essay about a man.
Sam F: The Most Challenging and Emotion Provoking Man Ever
By: Maynika Webb
Sam is formerly psychotic. He was on the verge of becoming a serial killer. If he didn't change and became a Zen Buddhist. Unbeknownst to me, this would prove to be an issue later on in our relationship.
When I met Sam, he was a Zen Buddhist less than a year. However, it would become hard to think of him any other way. He was on his path in his practice, and shortly after we met. He would continually wave at me and holler for me to catch up.
But, apparently on the path, I have a very bad sense of direction. He would talk about his practice and much of it went over my head. Which didn't really happen to me often. He would constantly test me, and if I didn't answer correctly or in a fashion that he could understand. He would rant and ramble thinking that would help me.
He helped me just by being there in our relationship. I was often asked why I hung around after it came apparent that we were quite different. It was because, I was also on the path, it was just my path had around a million different off shoots. I didn't know if Sam's path was the same. But, for someone who was pretty much dictated by logic and opportunity. Who just had their emotions awoken from coma. It was confusing.
There has been many people in life that said it's not about the conclusion, it's about the journey. Which is once again, cliche, but it's true.
Most people with my past would have gone crazy and stayed there. Shortly followed by suicide. I didn't stay there, I basked in the freedom of not really feeling anything. Which presented problems, many of them dealing with Sam.
At one point my entire life made sense, and I was comforted by that. Sam poked that, constantly. I don't hate him for that, I thank him for that. But, he was never skilled at actually communication so it did create much confusion that wasn't needed.
I've learned a lot from Sam and his constant poking, that honestly did help. But, then our sex life was attacked. That would crippling, insulted and saddening. Mostly because he was hung like you wouldn't believe. He didn't always know how to use it, but the size of the thing was awesome. Also, two words, Ghetto Booty.
Anyway, I was clearly side tracked. Penis will do that to a straight girl. All and all, Sam was a gift. All mixed up in a human body. Which of course he wanted to go past and grow beyond that.
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