Not Going In There!

Not Going In There!

         “I’m not going in there!”

         “C’mon Ted, I don’t think we have a choice really.”

         “Have you seen the others coming out? Unable to see, eyes watering, crying like a baby. I tell you, I’m not going in there!”

         “But Ted, it’s just a little gas. It can’t be all that bad.”

         “John, you don’t understand I guess. I can’t have all you see me cry, I haven’t cried since…. since…. since my cat died when I was ten! Some of the guys coming out couldn’t see where they were going. I spoke with Ron, he said it was really bad, and that his eyes watered immediately, but they wouldn’t let them leave for three minutes, just so they could experience it. No thank you, I’m not going in there.”

         John and Ted were in Navy boot camp going through Basic Training. Today’s test was going through the gas chamber. They were in the last group, and had seen the other men come stumbling out of the chamber. As each group exited, Ted grew more pale, until he’d finally told John he couldn’t go in there.

         John stood there silently as Ted fumed and swore next to him. Finally Ted looked at John and said, “And that smell? I know they served beans in the chow hall last night, but who could have gas so bad that these guys come out with their eyes all red, unable to see where they’re going? Like I said all along, I’m not going in there.”

         “Ted, it’s not that kind of gas, it’s tear gas!”

         “What? You mean it’s not some guy with a bad case of flatulence?”

Jim Dorrell
1/11/15

282 words