Santa's Surprise

Santa's Surprise  (13+) First Place Distorted Minds Contest December 2016 #2104608 by Chris Breva

The little girl stood in line waiting for her turn to see Santa. She had watched the town Christmas parade with great anticipation of seeing the bearded elf afterwards. Now she had to endure the cold weather for her turn to sit on the old elf's lap and tell him her story. After waiting what seemed an eternity her turn finally arrived.

"Come and sit on my lap darling" the old elf called to her.

She went to him and he picked her up, plopping her down on his lap.

"What is your name Sweetheart" he asked.

"I thought you already knew my name" she responded. "Mommy tells me that you know the names of all the little boys and girls all over the world."

"Well I do" Santa answered. "I just like to have the child tell me as a conversation starter."

Okay" the little girl replied. "My name is Audra. I live at 21547 East 45th Street."

"Yes", Santa replied. "I know your building well. I ripped the seat of my trousers there last year when I got off of my sleigh. They got caught on an exhaust pipe sticking through the roof. You should ask your landlord to put a vent cap on it before somebody really gets hurt or a pigeon decides to make a nest in it. If a pigeon uses it for a nest, somebody may be harmed by exhaust fumes."

"I'll have my mother speak to the landlord about it" Audra answered. "After all, we wouldn't want you getting hurt when you sneak in at night would we?"

"What can Santa bring you this year Audra", the jolly old elf asked the young girl.

"Oh I don't think you'll be bringing me anything this year" Audra replied knowingly. "However there is something I want."

"Just name it" said Santa. "I'll do my very best to see to it that you get it."

"Well"Audra answered, "I want my mommy to quit cheating on my daddy. You see she thought I was asleep last night when she had her boyfriend over. I watched as she kissed him and did a whole lot of other things that adults do."

"Oh you shouldn't watch things like that" Santa replied. "What adults do is not for children to see. It's private and should never be watched by children."

"Well I saw it" Audra replied. "I saw everything. I know exactly who the man was too. I haven't told my daddy. I decided I would take care of things myself. I'm going to see to it that my mommy never cheats with the man again."

"I see" replied Santa. "You want me to prevent your mommy from cheating with this man then, is that it?"

"No" replied Audra. "I'll see to it that he never touches my mommy again. I just want you to know that I know who he is and that is why I'm doing what I'm going to do."

"Who is he" asked Santa, wondering if there was something he could say to help the little girl.

"You already know the answer to that question as well", Audra answered. "You see I know it was you kissing my mommy. I fully intend to stop you."

"How do you know it was me" Santa asked.

"I recognized your voice" Audra answered. "I also heard you telling Mommy that you were Santa in the parade today."

"Well Honey, your mommy and I have a special relationship" Santa answered. "We're both adults and though you may not approve, we don't need your permission."

"I know that" Audra required. "That's why I'm going to take drastic action to save my mommy and daddy's marriage."

With that said the little girl reached into her coat, pulled out a knife, and quickly slit Santa's throat.

First Place Winner Distorted Minds Contest December 2016

Featured in "Mystery Newsletter (December 7, 2016)"  2016 Quills Nominee