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I never wanted to be... |
In the darkness there was a candle, burning bright; a beacon of direction, a steady whisper of hope and encouragement. A soul reaching out across the distance; grasping, holding onto that which stabilized it and made it whole. And now, in the darkness there lies only confusion, anger and heartache. A healing scar of what was lost; a taunting ache of loneliness. And yet... Truth comes in many colors, many fabrics, many webs of silken promises. Therein lies the crushing weight of all that was and all that never will be again. The waves have crashed too far above the shore, destroyed all that once sat gracefully along the beaches. Flames. With the simple flick of a wrist, all has gone into ashes leaving behind nothing but rubble and memories. And I stand - tall and proud and breaking - as I watch the destruction. Alone, with no beacon, no lighthouse in the dark. Pushing away those who would comfort me, those who say the words I wish to hear. Blame. Faults. Failures. Whose? The lines have blurred; there is no space between yours and mine, they are ours. They were always ours. But they are vanishing. Into the darkness of regret and anger and hurt; nothing shines brightly. It is all shallow and dull; the sinister blankness of nothing. Time heals all things. Bullshit. Distance makes the heart fonder. Bullshit. Some things need nurturing to survive. Twas all simple once. -with the ease of childhood and lack of responsibility - it was. But adulthood calls - and youth is drowning in daily life - one no less important than the other... and yet... There lies the truth of the matter. The importance of all things has broken what was. Priorities change, mutate and leave behind only wisps of what were once. Two souls unleashed; released from the bindings that once held them and tears flow freely - like gasoline - igniting it all once again. And nothing is the same. Changing with all else comes the loss of light. And as darkness closes in I relinquish. I turn over all that I have lost to the fire and watch it burn. I have become The Destroyer. |