The Ambush

Good hunt today!

I slip out of the grass and I’m on the road. I don’t like roads. So full of those little black pebbles biting your paw like thousands of angry ants when you step on their nest. Mommy too hated roads. But then, she must have changed her mind. She went on the road, one day, and she never came back.

I jump over the strange bush the humans put around their lair. Those crazy humans: they grow iron like plants, live in caves that don’t fall even under the strongest wind and walk always on their hind legs without never getting tired. That’s rad. But wait, the weirdest thing is how every morning big scary metal beasts who growl like thunder and run fast as mice on the road come to eat them, then when the sun goes down they threw them up and then the next morning they swallow them again. Humans must be stodgy!

The lizard in my mouth squirms. Nope, my friend. You won’t get away from me. Not, after all, I went through to catch you! My fangs plunge in his flesh, and it’s finally still. So difficult, catching lizards. They’re so fast! I just wish the human living in the big cave appreciated my efforts. Instead, she always gets so mad when I bring him a lizard. Well, maybe he’s right. Lizards are so scaly and stringy. Not like birds. Birdies’re so soft and delicious— But the human gets even madder when I bring home a birdie. I don’t get humans: they’re never happy!

I’m hungry, very hungry. So hungry that even the stringy lizard in my mouth starts to feel tasty. I put her down and head towards the place I know to be filled with those delicious little brown rocks the human gives me every time I meow. I bet that’s why she doesn’t want my lizard: she’s got plenty of food!

Hey! Hey! I’m hungry!

No answer. That’s strange. Where is he? Whatever. Now I just need to go to my bowl and—

What?

A shiver runs down my spine to the tip of my tail. It’s empty. How could she have forgotten to fill it up? She never forgets. Maybe something truly terrible has happened to him. Maybe the metal beast has finally eaten him up! He’s gone! What I am going to do?

Human! Human! Where are you?

I raise my ears, trying to catch the sound of her voice. The noise of all the strange things she keeps around the cave makes it difficult, though. Especially that annoying box making that ticktock, ticktock. Why in the world does she need it? It doesn’t give you food or water and it’s too narrow to sleep on it. It’s useless.

Wait—

There’s something strange in the air. A smell; a stink that fills my nose. I sniff the bowl. Yes, there can’t be any doubt. The human hasn’t forgotten to give me food. It’s been eaten by someone else. And I know exactly who did it!

I look around; the darkness opens before my eyes like grass during a hunt. I catch a glance of something moving on the soft leather mountain. But it’s not him. It’s her! My sworn enemy. The one who’s stolen my favorite food and now sleeps on my favorite pillow!

Oh, you’re gonna pay for this!

Her belly goes up and down—up and down—up and down. She’s asleep. I’ve got the element of surprise on my side.

I flatten and move towards her position, careful not to make a sound. Muffled paws sure are a nice thing to have.

There you are.

I’m close to her now. So close I can hear her purring in her sleep. Damn her. Maybe she’s dreaming of stealing my cuddles too! But she won't get away with it!

The muscles in my hind legs stiffen, ready to propel me against my prey. I feel my claws puncture the leather under me. Oh, I’d love a good scratch now. But work before pleasure.

And—you’re mine!

“Puffy! What are you doing?”

The human!

She wakes up instantly and looks right into my eyes.

“Stay away from me!” she cries, arching her back like a huge hedgehog.

YOU stay away from me, missy! And from my food, my pillow, my home!

“Puffy! Lucy! That’s enough!”

The human throws himself between us, giving her time to escape. Coward!

“Bad girl, Puffy! Bad girl!”

What? But she started it! She ate my food! You’re always on her side! It’s not fair!

I run. I hide. I hate him! I hate him! I hate humans! How can they understand our problems? They’ve got everything! They don’t need to fight for it!

You won’t see me again! Ever!





“Hey, missy. Where’ve you been? Hungry? Want some milk?”

All right, all right. This time I forgive you. Now pour!

I start licking the milk while the human watches me from the strange wooden branch he calls a chair. Silly humans. They sit on branches but they don’t fly. They give you milk, but they’re not mommy. They don’t hunt, yet they’ve always got meat. And no claws or fangs! No wonder the iron beasts always eat them! How can they fight against them?

“Hey Puffy. Come here, sweetheart.”

Nice. Nothing’s better after milk than some cuddles. Maybe he’s not so bad. He’s on my side. He can’t do without me.

“Good girl, good girl.”

Oh, come on! You’re messing up my fur! But that’s okay. I’ll clean it up later.

His hands run up and down my spine, knead my cheeks, scratch my chin and my belly. It’s nice—I like it. It’s just like—

Mommy.

"Hey! I’m hungry!”

Not her again!

“Oh, Lucy. One sec and I give you your kibbles. Puffy, hey. Get off me! Ouch! Watch out with those claws!”

I think I’m gonna be a baaad girl today.