mother

when
i say
that i
miss you
what
i mean
is that
i miss
the
idea
of you
-i cannot miss that which i do not know

we are
irreparably damaged
and
it is
through
no fault
of
our own
-your absence changed us

all
i feel
is
your absence

you
took yourself
away
from us

and
left us
to fill
the
void
that the
lack
of you
created
-you are still here

you never
truly
knew me
-and now you never will

if you
won’t
stay
for your
children

what
will
you
stay
for?
-were we not enough?

i don’t
blame
you for
leaving
-i would have too