Broken Trust

*5 years ago*

It was a dark and stormy Sunday night and Alex was in her room reading one of her favourite books. As she was getting really into it her mother, Alice called her down to wash up. There was one thing about Alex, that nobody knew about one big, dark secret that she had been keeping since her older sister, Sophie left for university.

Alex ran downstairs at full speed downstairs and into the kitchen. As she started running the hot tap, Alex stared at the picture of her sister, Sophie that was on the fridge. 'I wish you were still here.' Alex thought.

A couple of years ago, Sophie left home for university. Alex refused to see her after she left, she had begged Sophie to stay, but she had left during the night after tricking Alex into thinking she would.

While in this train of thought, the hot water had overflowed the washing up bowl and started spilling onto the floor. Alex quickly turned off the tap and grabbed a cloth. As she began mopping up the water, her mother stormed in and stared at the mess.

"What the hell were you doing?"
"I accidentally left the tap running. I'm sorry, I'm cleaning it up now."
"You did this on purpose!"

"No mum! I didn-"

Alex was cut off as her mother slapped her round the face. She fell onto the soaked floor, her clothes now sodden with water.

Her mother began to repeatedly punch her on the floor. Alex didn't scream or cry, she was use to this now. It was part of her daily life.

Once it was over, her mother chucked the cloth at her, "get it cleaned up now. Then you can cook mine and your brother's tea." Alex sighed and started to stand up, even though she struggled.

After she mopped the floor, washed the dishes, she began to cook her mother and brother, Adam's tea. Alex looked into the cupboards and fridge, she decided on making some pasta and sauce, since they didn't have a lot in. Adam had just got home from work, Alex heard her mother telling him about what just happened and Adam laughing.

Alex finished cooking their tea and bought it out to them. She watched as they took a bite. Adam spat out his food.

"What do you call this? It's disgusting!"
"I tried my best! There wasn't a lot in the cupboards."
"So you're blaming us?"

Alex stared at them and shook her head. Adam and her mother stood up and threw the plates down by her feet. "Clean it up, NOW!" her mother bellowed. Alex knelt down and started clearing the food and smashed plate off the floor.

As she took the remnants of the tea to the kitchen, she picked a bit of food that wasn't covered in smashed China. She put a piece of pasta into her mouth and picked up another piece, this was the first bit of food Alex had had in weeks.

While she was eating, Adam walked into the kitchen. He stared at her as she picked bits of pasta off the plate. "So that's why you made it disgusting!" Alex turned around, her mouth fell open, she tried to speak, but no words came out.

Adam grabbed hold of Alex and dragged her into the living room.
"She was eating the tea! She purposely made it horrible so she could eat it herself!" Adam yelled.

Adam pushed Alex down onto the floor in front of her mother. "You really are a fat pig! I was going to let you eat, but as you've stuffed your face already, you can forget about it!" Her mother lied as she kicked Alex's stomach hard. Alex yelped as the foot made contact with her stomach.

After her mother's first hit, Adam joined in with the beating. Alex laid curled up on the floor, she didn't make a sound as the fists connected with her face and the feet made contact with her legs. 'I'm going to die tonight.' Alex thought.

***

A few hours later, the beating stopped. Alex stood up slowly and limped to her bedroom. 'How am I going to hide this from the teachers?' She thought as she looked in the mirror at her black eye and busted lip.

Alex got into her pajamas gently and got into bed. She reached down the gap at the side of her bed and grabbed the book she had bought one day after school, 'Act Cool' and soon fell asleep reading.

***

The next morning, Alex laid in her bed, not wanting to move. She was in agony from the newly formed bruises.

Alex got up as she heard her brother leave for work. She pulled out her uniform from her wardrobe and started to put it on. Alex knew her mother wouldn't be up until midday, so she wouldn't have to see her until she got home.
She put her book in her bag to read at lunchtime.

As she went out of the door, she grabbed the few pound coins from the dining room table bowl to buy herself some food after school.

***

Alex arrived in the playground just as the other students were rushing into their respective classrooms. She ducked her head as she entered hers, trying to hide the black eye and busted lip.

As she sat down, Alex's old best friend, Chloe poked her in the back with a sharpened pencil. Alex sighed and ignored her.
"Good morning class!" bellowed Miss Brady as she entered the classroom. "Good morning Miss Brady!" everyone, but Alex responded.

Miss Brady started with the first lesson after taking the register while Alex doodled in her workbook writing 'Dylan Baker' at the top.

"Alex, what's the answer to number 4?" Miss Brady asked. "Alex? Earth to Alex." She added as she walked up to her. Alex jolted up and looked straight at the teacher, everyone gasped as they saw Alex's face. Alex put her head back down realizing what she had revealed.

"Alright class, carry on with answering the questions on the board. I won't be long." Miss Brady addressed the class sternly.
"Alex, can you get your bag and come with me please?" She whispered. Alex nodded and went to the cloakroom.

She grabbed her bag and slowly walked out, seeing Miss Brady waiting at the classroom door. They both walked down the corridor in silence, Alex was trying to think of reasons she could use as to why her face looked like it did.

Miss Brady sat Alex down in a small room near the reception and went to speak to the headteacher. Alex looked around the room, she stared at a framed picture of a boy playing with his dog, wondering why it was there.

The headteacher, Mrs. Watson walked into the room holding a notepad and a pen. Alex glared at her as she sat down opposite.

"So, why don't you tell me how you got that awful black eye and lip?"
Alex looked down and played with a piece of loose thread on her school jumper.

"I.. uh.. fell?" Mrs. Watson stared at her with contemplation.
"Alex, sweetie, we both know that no one falls and ends up with injuries like that, don't we?"
Alex didn't look up at her, she took a deep breath in to stop her tears from falling.

She thought about telling the truth, 'what would happen to me? What would the school do? Would Sophie find out?'
Alex looked up at Mrs. Watson, she felt the tears escape her eyes. "My mum and brother done it last night."

Mrs. Watson's mouth fell open, she didn't know what to say. "Can you explain how it happened? Take your time, there's no rush."

"Uh. my mum wanted me to do the dishes, so I started to do them.. then the water went everywhere, and she slapped me." Alex paused for a few minutes.

As Alex explained what had happened the night before, Mrs. Watson wrote everything down, she felt tears fill her own eyes as she listened to Alex tell her everything. 'This poor child.' She thought.

"My mum called me a fat pig and kept hitting me. I didn't stop them. I just laid there and let them because I'm stupid."

Mrs Watson stopped writing, she grabbed a box of tissues and gave them to Alex.
"You're not stupid. How long has this been going on?" Mrs. Watson asked softly.

"Since Sophie left for university. Is she going to find out?" Alex sighed as she looked up, dabbing her black eye with the tissue.
"I would think so. Social services would rather you stay with her than go into a care home." Mrs. Watson smiled half-heartedly.

Alex looked down again as Mrs. Watson left the room with Alex's statement. She lifted her bag up and pulled out her book.
After a while, Mrs. Watson came back in. "I have spoken to social services and they are going to come here. Do you have any number for Sophie? They're going to try track her down. What university did she go to?"

"I don't have her number, but she went to Leeds university."
Mrs Watson wrote it down and went back out to her office.

Alex pulled her knees up and looked at the clock, it was nearly 11 o'clock. She wondered if her mum was awake now. She mentally scolded herself for not covering her injuries properly. Alex picked up her book again and carried on reading.

***

At lunchtime, Miss Brady came into the little room with a lunch tray. "I thought we could have lunch together. If that is ok?" She smiled, Alex nodded and set her book down.

Alex began eating, Mrs Watson must have told Miss Brady about Alex not eating because the tray had more food on it than usual. Alex wolfed it down, careful not to choke. "What book are you reading? It looks very grown up." Miss Brady asked smiling. Alex slid the book towards her.

"Act cool.. I don't think I've heard of it. Can you tell me about it?"
"It's about this actor, well, he wants to be an actor, he's a trans man and his family don't accept him..."
"Oh wow. Sounds great, but very grown up! Why did you pick it?"
Alex looked down, she wanted to say the truth, but was worried she'd be judged.

"Oh.. wait. You got it because he's like you?" Miss Brady guessed. Alex sunk further into her chair, wondering how she knew.

***

A few hours later, the social worker, Jax had arrived. "Hello Alex. I'm Jax, It's nice to meet you." She smiled at her. Alex smiled back and watched Mrs. Watson give her Alex's statement.

Alex stared at Jax, she wasn't like other social workers she had heard of. Jax had short, spiky black hair, with pink tips. She was wearing a band tee and ripped skinny jeans with black Doc Martins. Alex smiled at how cool she looked and found it amusing when she stood beside plain and boring Mrs. Watson and Miss Brady.

"We have tracked down your sister and she's on her way from Leeds. So, I thought maybe we could go hang out until she rings me. Does that sound ok to you?" Jax smiled, Alex nodded anxiously.

Alex grabbed her bag and placed her book inside. As they left, Alex and Jax spoke.
"What did she sound like? Was she angry?"
"Sophie sounded very sweet and concerned. Why would she be angry, hun?"
"Because I didn't speak to her after she left. I was mad at her for leaving."
"She's not angry at you. She understands and is very worried about you. Let's go to a café."

Jax and Alex got into the car and drove to a café in the town center.
Alex got a hot chocolate while Jax got a coffee. Alex stared at Jax's phone that was sitting on the table, waiting for Sophie to ring.

Alex couldn't bear to sip her hot chocolate, nerves and anxiety were coursing through her body, patiently waiting for that phone to ring. "Hey, don't be nervous. Sophie told me she has wanted to see you, but she didn't know if you were still angry with her." Jax smiled.

"Sophie tricked me, made me think she was staying at home. But when I woke up, after she had put me to bed and tucked me in, she was gone." Alex explained as she broke out into a cry.

Jax moved to a chair next to Alex and wrapped her arm around her. "It's going to be ok now. I promise." Jax smiled. "Are you my social worker now?" Alex wondered, starting to feel safe and calmer. "Yep! Sorry about that." Jax joked.

Alex smiled up at her, thinking she was the coolest social worker ever. As Alex was fiddling with the loose thread on her jumper again, Jax's phone started ringing. Alex couldn't hear, the anxiety building up inside again, everything sounded muffled and distorted.

"We're at Webster's Café in town. We will see you very soon. Bye." Jax smiled as she hung up. Alex looked up at her as everything went back to sounding normal.

A few minutes later, Jax's hand went up, gesturing someone over. Alex sunk down in the chair and began biting her fingernails. She watched as a tall, young woman with dark brown hair that was in a ponytail nervously sit down opposite Alex and Jax.

'This woman can't be Sophie, she looks too grown up.' Alex thought as she stared at her intently. "Hi Alex. You look so much taller since I last saw you." Sophie smiled softly. Alex looked down, tears formed around her eyes.

Sophie reached over and held Alex's hand. "As you're the only other relative Alex has that isn't her mum or brother, and we wouldn't want to take her into care if she doesn't need to, we were hoping that she could stay with you." Jax spoke, Sophie nodded as she listened. "Of course she can. I just can't believe this has happened and I didn't know." Sophie sighed.

***

After another 30 minutes of working out a plan and doing some paperwork, Alex picked up her bag and said her goodbyes to Jax.

"Why don't we go get you some clothes and pajamas? You'll need something until we sort everything out." Sophie smiled and wrapped her arm around Alex, feeling how skinny she was. Alex nodded looking down at her uniform.

They walked into Midston Shopping Centre, Alex looked where Sophie was heading, the most girly girl shop in the country, 'Toni's'. Alex dragged her feet, following Sophie.

Alex looked as they went past Toni's staring in disbelief as they entered a shop for men's and boy's clothes. "Didn't think I'd forget that my baby sister was a tomboy, did you?" Sophie smiled, Alex smiled back and began looking at the clothes.

***

Twenty-minutes later, Alex and Sophie got to the checkout after grabbing everything Alex needed. Sophie started to pay for everything. Alex blurted it out, she couldn't believe she finally said it. "What was that?"

"I want to be a boy."