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2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| Monday was the holiday, so it was basically like having another Sunday. David (my caregiver/nephew) and I walked to Dollar Treasure, and he pointed out what were the good values and what were things we could use around the house. I spent the trip dreaming over things I'd love to have but couldn't afford. Tuesday Sally (case worker) texted me and said we could meet if I liked. She took me to get my glasses fixed. I had lost a screw in one of the lenses. We talked about different things like where we could go when we get back on schedule (she is on vacation next Monday). She said she would call me if she got time next week. Wednesday both me and Terry (sister) slept most of the day after having a terrible night's sleep. I canceled my sleep study consult appointment. It would have just put me back on a machine that I really don't want. Today was Thursday and I crocheted while watching over Terry while David went to the plant store late morning to early afternoon. No biggie. I got five rows do.ne. Then I was on here. I told myself I was going to write for a contest, but I keep putting it off so I'm not doing it. Tomorrow I have an appointment with Jacob (therapist) to catch up on paperwork. After that is crochet group. I will be at CMH all afternoon. Maybe I'll get some writing done but I doubt it. Tonight I'm going to chillax and I might do some more crocheting or maybe work on a puzzle. More than likely I'll play computer games. |
| Spent most of the day watching movies with Terry. How droll. She was still upset from Tom throwing basically a temper tantrum most of the night after finding out Terry's bed was unusable without some major cleaning. He stayed until four this morning, but he complained the whole time. So I had to help Terry calm down which took until two this afternoon. Sally didn't show today. I figured that would be the case with it being Memorial Day. (and we all rejoiced; yay) I honestly did think about writing today. I knew that if I came in the room though I would just check my messages here then lay down and take a nap. I took my tablet out in the living room but all I did was check on here twice. I'm honestly lost without my printer. I have no hard copies of what is on here of my novels. If I don't know what I have I can't continue. I could look at what is on here and then try to write from there, but I know I will mess up on some of the details. What else am I doing? Nothing as per usual. I could have tried to crochet today but used the dog in my lap as an excuse not to. Besides my eyes were giving me trouble all day. I could barely see my TV when I did come in the bedroom. I watched "The Frighteners" which is always good for a laugh or at least a chuckle. Then I watched "Inferno" which is like the third installment to "The DaVinci Code". I still don't get it all the way. Interesting question though: There is a switch that only you can control. If you flip it, half the world's population will die instantly. If you don't, all of the population will die in one hundred years. What do you do? |
| I just got my first check yesterday and my account is in the hole today. I went to the dollar treasure with David on Friday and dreamed about the figurines and oil burners and spinners for the back yard. They are just dreams though and certainly not things that I cannot live without. I could live without my amazon prime membership but they already dinged my account. Then I had to buy supper for Terry and I (Arbys) saying David went to Eds again for a few days. thst snd the $400 that went for part of my rent and I am tapped out. I crocheted a little today but my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't do much. I don't know why but I just thought that starting smoking again might help. I really need to start working on my writing. It would distract me from other things and make me feel like I might be accomplishing something. I wish I could hire myself out to write stories but I tried that once for a raffle aand it ended in disaster. So did my recent attempt at drawing for a raffle prize. i don't know what all is going to happen this week. Tomorrow is a holiday (Memorial Day) so there will be no mail and Sally may not come. I have that consult with the sleep study on Thursday but I don't know if I am going to go. It's just going to be a long rigamarole thing that will end in me possibly being on a sleep machine for the rest of my life. I've gone for 56 years without it. Why should I need it now. Besides it is not like I want to go the extra mile to ensure I don't die anytime soon. I might write more later David came home sick tonight. Loads of fun. Hopefully he won't be a snot like he was when his teeth were bothering him. I just hope we don't get into it. So help me I will walk out and find someplace to go...... What can I do really? I have no place to go and no money to help me do it. If I was to move I would probably have to hire people to move my stuff and then there's the whole thing of 1st and last months rent and security deposit. I really can't afford it. My life is a merry-go-round. Up and down and round and round and not getting anywhere....... |
| My HP Instant Ink was not paid this month so they have locked my printer. This is about the last straw. If I don't get my spending money this month I am going to start looking for my own place. Being in this cramped bedroom and being blamed for everything that goes wrong around here is enough. I told Terry that I might as well give them my check and be done with it at first, then I got frustrated with Terry and popped off with "I might as well get my own apartment". I've been hiding in my room ever since. I heard her and David talking about it and David say something about "I only get paid for five minutes for that...." and other discussion that I couldn't quite hear..Terry said something I want it to go back to when I was sick and have them do everything for me...no one understands..... I keep thinking I should just apologize and ask for us to sit down and discuss things rationally and calmly. I hate housework is what it comes down to, especially if I have to clean up after other people. I also hate cooking, even for just myself. That's all I want David to do: hand out my meds, take care of the inside of the house and the housework, and make at least one meal a day. I don't know. David just brought me my night meds and was sweet as pie about it. Maybe it will all just blow over....... |
| I went downstairs today while Terry and David were out and brought up my bin of magick stuff I had stored. I organized it and redid my shrine. Now there is nothing but magick stuff on it. I llike it a lot. Haven't had the chance yet to light candles and incense and do a proper meditation but I will. I put the rest of my magick stuff that I can't keep out in a bin in my closet. i didn't get the chance to go through my writing yet as Terry told me it was my job to clean up the craft room as most of it was my stuff. BS I didn't make the mess, it was not mostly my stuff making the mess and clutter. None the less I went in there and straightened up what I could. Some of it was stuff that had been donated to us that I had to find room for. I was pleasantly surprised to find we had been donated four or five 3D puzzles. I love those things. I can't wait to dig into one. Myabe tomorrow as I have too much to finish tonight. the craft room still isn't done because there is still stuff in there that I don't know what to do with and I can't move. Hohpefully someone will help me tomorrow. Blah. drank a Seagram's Ginger Ale with dinner and now I have the hicurps. (half hiccup half burp) It's now a rare thing for me to drink soda. I may grab one when I go out, if I can afford it, or I take one of Terry's ginger ale when my stomach says I need it. I'm starting to pay for it when I do have one so it has been less and less for me to indulge. I am so tired all the time. Today was mostly because I only got about four hours sleep last night. That's what I get for drinking coffee until eight at night. Terry went to the doctors and they told her she could take the sling off her arm. I'm assuming that means she is allowed to do more things for herself. She was unsteady on her feet today because of the anxiety of it and she still can't reach around to pull her pants up but she is doing okay. She broke down and ordered herself some pull ups this week. She still ends up in the shower two or three times a day. I think tomorrow I might try to do my hair in pigtails. We'll see. |
| I straightened my room today.... well sort of. I reorganized my DVD shelves and thought about just getting rid of my CDs. My radio is a piece of doo-doo and I don't have any place to plug it in anyways. I'm already overloading the plugs that I had it in. I'm getting rid of my salt lamp too. Everything looks bare over there now but it looks much better than all the clutter. Oh and I have my CDs playing on my DVD player. Let's hear it for multipurpose tasking. I rearranged my dresser and put away some of the stuff that has been sitting out waiting for me to get some help fixing it where it goes. There's still a lot of clutter there but some of it can't be helped. i have too much perfume and body sprays but that is far outweighed by all the stuff for my hair...... Finally I rededicated my shrine. I took off almost all the stuff that was on it that wasn't for my magick. Finally I rearranged the shelves so they looked more pleasing and uncluttered. Tomorrow I need to find the magick stuff I have in storage. I have all these incense burners and no incense and I know I have some essential oils .... Not to mention better incense burners and plenty of incense. I need to clean out the stuff in storage and retire some of the stuff I got when I first started out. I also need to locate some of my stories. I made a commitment to work on Nezoom for this workshop I joined. I also need to find Invitation to Death as that has been on my mind and Rage of Envy. I'm trying to stay away from The House That Wants until I get done with RoE saying it is supposed to be the first book but it's getting complicated. I'll figure it out. So many things to do, still no real room or time to work on them. Story of my life. |
| This was asked in the newsfeed (Spiritual Newsletter) but my answer needs more room than that. Church: the only definition I found is "a body or organization of Christian believers". Hmm. Definitely not me. So we throw out the word church..... I have belonged to several organizations which were just starting out. Most of them were New Age.... They were supposed to not conform to any specific religion,, but eventually they all conformed to the Christian/Catholic way so to stop rustling feathers in the community and avoid stuff like their buildings being the canvas for some off color grafiti. I have tried established New Age churches but many of their sessions turned into debates on what was the true religion and how everything was being done incorrectly in most organizations..... which was basically true. For me, religion is a highly personal pursuit. It is a quest to find your own connection with whatever deity you happen to relate to. Personally, I find this to be a very solitary pursuit. A word about Deity: You can call him/she/them by whatever name or gender you wish. As I said, it is a very personal thing. They all, are connected and are ultimately the "I AM". There is no one name other than that for a true deity. My "worship" consists of meditation. I bring myself to a higher state of consciousness and commune with deity. We talk. I aask questions. I make requests. When I feel refreshed and satisfied with our session i bring myself back to a normal state and end the session. So maybe this would have fit in the Newsfeed. No matter. I think it has better standing here. |
| Ended up doing work around the house and taking care of Terry as David is going back and forth to Ed's to help them move. I cleaned up some of the garbage around the house and cleaned the kennel a bit as Prince has been left in there lately so he did his business in there.. I crocheted a lot today. Just seemed like there was nothing else better to do. Watched movies with Terry. BFHD. If this is any indication of what next week is going to be like I'm going to seriously lose it. I have only one appointment next week for a consult on the sleep study. Getting back into that should prove interesting. I am supposed to be on a bi-pap machine at night. My sleep apnea is so bad I've been known to stop breathing at least 40 times a night. a lot of what I've read told me that my depression and my constant tiredness could be from the lack of oxygen at night. my hair has been a big fuzz ball every since I got home from the Hopital. I am just now starting to get it under control again. I haven't slept well at night because of my RLS. I'm hoping things will be better tonight. I should really pull out one of my novels and force myself to work on it tomorrow. Maybe if I just try and apply BIC something will shake loose and I'll start writing again...... One can only hope..... |
| Planned on writing more yesterday but I forgot. Didn't do anything anyways except dye my hair. This morning I had my appointment with my physician. My xrays I had back in February showed nothing, of course. She said not to worry about my ankle unless it seems to be getting worse or not healing. All my bloodwork came back good. MaryLynn is retiring at the end of the month and some guy named Justin is taking over for her. I will miss her. I'm thinking of stopping my Humana Insurance. The stuff I can get with my allowance every month the list is getting shorter and shorter. The only other benefit I can think of is I don't have any med co-pays but they also keep changing what meds they will cover. I need to speak with someone about my benefits should I go back to medicaid/medicare but I don't know who. I think that is what Terry is on and she has been having almost as many problems as me...... maybe I should talk to Tracy. Crochet went fine today. There were only three students and Jacob didn't do a dang thing but work on a hat he decided he didn't like and look up things on his computer (he said he was looking up patterns but one can not be sure)., I left at 2:30 pm. and decided to come home. Everything was just plain okay today. Now that I guess I am considered healed no one is doing anything for me any more. If I'm lucky David might make me a meal. I think he is rebelling because I supposedly got up and made myself a sandwich while the worker was here so they cut the amount David was getting to take care of me. That doesn't explain why the house is a mess however. Sore teeth or not the house is starting to smell. |
| I tried to start a diamond painting today and ended up with diamonds everywhere. I definitely need a large flat surface and I need to stop shaking. Nothing else to do today. I have been working on crochet off and on. That has been a slow process..... Tomorrow I have an appointment with my medical doctor in the morning then have crochet group in the afternoon. It means I will be spending the whole day at CMH. Oh well. At least I won't be on my foot the whole time. David has been up twice but he hasn't given me my pills yet. he is in pain with his teeth so I am trying to cut him some slack. |
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Love it! I hope "Kristy Parkers" is revived and publishes very soon!
It's probably cheaper to just buy regular stamps and use a piece of paper and envelope to send the stuff instead of buying a postcard. 
