This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
Today was a good day indeed. Normality has arrived and none too soon. I can finally go out in public without the fear of being looked at like a freak. I got out on my bike for the fourth day in a row and I feel almost as fit as I did before this latest episode. My emotions are settling and I believe I have come to terms with what happened...can even see the positives that have come from it. I am more determined than ever to achieve the ultimate reward and no longer live with addiction hanging over me every day and night. If I can rack up another three months will mean I have only used only once in six months...which would be almost unheard of in the past. While I was a caregiver, the government paid me to take care of my Mom. It wasn't a lot, but was certainly enough to live on. Now that she is no longer with us, I've had to transition to another type of payment and today, I received a letter confirming that it has been approved. A relief, to say the least. It's even less than I was on before, but it will tide me over until I can wind up the estate and sell the house. Once that is done, the world is my oyster. Thailand will be where I set my sights, but I plan to travel and see as much of SE Asia as I can over the following year until I find the place I know is home. No more mistakes...I simply cannot afford to do this again. I believe it would break me and at this point in my life, that would be such a shame. I am confident and for the first time in a couple of weeks, today I felt a smile on my face. I like this feeling and I plan to hold onto it. |