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Adventures In Living With The Mythical |
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A military veteran is adopted by a werewolf and brought into his pack. Insanity ensues. About "Life With A Werewolf" Life with a werewolf is a dramatic blog. As such the characters in this blog are not real but maybe loosely based on real people. The situations represented are not real but maybe loosely based on real things that have happened in my life. There are a multitude of ways to view life, this is simply one of the ways I have chosen to view mine. Updated Every Friday unless I can't or don't want to. If this is your first time reading this...start here: https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1040400-Welcome-To-The-Pack The first year is available as a compilation in print and on Amazon Kindle: https://a.co/d/gBLLL7E The first year is currently available on audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/B0G3SMJGFN/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-482... My book, "Dreamers of The Sea" is available now on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0uz7xa3 |
| There wasn't much of a conversation for the forty five seconds it took to drive me to the police station. The cop, who I'll call Andy for the sake of this little blog, didn't give me much of a hassle. He was an older type, close to my own age in fact. From the way he acted, I could tell he had years of experience within the police department of our small town. His balding hair was cut military short, his hazel eyes had the thousand yard cop stare. The type of stare that said he'd seen too many bar fights and far too many hunting accidents. The car pulled up to a squat building that had parking places for about three patrol cars in the back. Lead inside handcuffed, I didn't complain any until he'd handcuffed me and set me down next to one of three scarred desks. "Sorry about the performance back there, but we got to keep up appearances." He logged into a computer and tapped at keys, filling out a report as he spoke to me. I stole a glance at it. It looked just like one of the fake forms that Crash had slid across my desk for me to fill out for him. Figures Crash would stick a real one among all the nonsense. "So, how long has this been going on?" I explained everything as best as I could to him. From the moment Garrett limped his way through the door, the half threats disguised as playful jabs. My outright threat, and every incident since. I tried backing up claims with date and times, and was able to use receipts a couple of times to do so. "Yeah," he muttered, tapping out keys. "They're trying to play you for something. All of this is going to your division, of course. Your boss will determine the next course of action. If it was me? I'd keep my head down and..." His words stopped when his radio squawked to life. It spoke of a 9-1-1 call about an address that was familiar to me. Elouise's address. Tell you the truth, I hadn't thought about her in the middle of all of this. Simply put, I didn't want to get her involved with Garrett again if we could avoid it. Figured the best way to do that was to simply not talk about Garrett to her. Besides, she had a life of her own. A small business that she ran out of her trailer on the side, and the almost relationship thing going on with Crash. If anyone told her, I guessed it would have been him. "I'm coming," I said, standing up. "No, sit your ass down," he growled at me. "Crash will be by to pick you up soon." If you thought I just politely waited for Crash, you'd be out of your mind. I half-walked, half-jogged to Elouise's place, limping part of the way. Crash pulled up in his car and growled at me "get in." We drove down to the site where Andy and an assistant of his were standing by, starting an investigation of their own already. "Rare treat for you boys to tag along," Crash said. I didn't say anything for a change. "I smell three humans, males. Adults, one older than the other two. Will need to shift to tell you more." "Shift," Andy asked. I nodded. "He's probably going to go inside first, don't worry." The front door had been kicked in. Not that it's terribly difficult to do that on a trailer. The bushes that Elouise had planted had been driven over with something. It looked as if they were trying to move quickly. A window was smashed out, an object thrown through it. Glass was all over the lawn. Inside was worse, with things strewn about and shattered, as if someone was searching for something. Whatever it was, obviously they hadn't found it cause Elouise was still alive. Stepping out a moment, I spent time with the two officers as Crash shifted. The conversation drifted from stories about military life to stories of their jobs. There is quite a bit of cross over between the two fields. Just as many stupid things we have to deal with from our superiors and from locals. And, just as many inside jokes. The type of humor that cops and military personnel use isn't the type of jokes that most people understand. To misquote Joseph Stalin, dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it. But the humor laid about those lines. It was the type of humor built from trauma and response. Joke built as a way of dealing with stress and horror. So, I won't go into the jokes we told there, or the stories that were shared. It was about ten minutes later when Crash came ambling out on all fours, nose to the ground, muzzle pulled back in a grimace. "I'm not taking you for walkies." "That's fine. I'll just mark your bed later." I eye-rolled as the cops chuckled at the inside jokes. "Okay, okay. What do you smell?" "Tire marks say sedan. The scent says VW, so probably a Passat. Built in the teens at some time, so maybe ten years old? It's burning oil, and leaking coolant." "That makes sense," Andy said. "They did say a silver sedan pulled up." "Unfortunately, no scent of anyone in my jurisdiction. Just two males, early twenties. Another male in his late forties." "What I don't get," I said, "is why would three humans kidnap Elouise?" Crash stood to his full height, something that caused the other two to put their hands to their pistols momentarily. "Garrett again. We're still off this case. Because it's human perpetrators, I can't interfere. Neither can you." "So, let me get this straight. They pick a fight in the police station hoping to get in trouble." "No," Crash said. "Knowing you'd respond. Which you did and got us both banned from investigating them." "They keep after me, you're forced to intervene. Then they take that moment to kidnap Elouise?" "No," Crash said. "They paid someone else to kidnap Elouise. I'm certain I can get evidence of this car and the wonder twins talking. But I'll have to investigate in this form, and there's no way I can do that in daylight." Andy smiled, then. And thank God for Andy for two things. One, he's got a hell of a cop mind on him. Two, he was willing to tell a werewolf, "It'll take me less than five minutes to get you a leash and collar." The look Crash gave him was priceless. "Absolutely not! No! I won't do that. You can't make me." I looked at Crash. "It'll give us the evidence we need to get out of the penalty box and get back on the ice for this case." "Fine," He grumbled. Then he looked at me. "You better not tell a soul." I pulled out my cell phone. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He took it away from me and threw it in Andy's car before I could start recording, the jerk. The deal was Andy could walk Crash around, with his partner in the patrol car. But I had to sit in the back. And wasn't allowed to get my phone until Crash had finished. Which I was getting nervous about. Cause, Crash was going to sniff out this car, possibly through downtown. After how many other cars had already driven over it. After how many other people and mythicals and dogs and what not had already walked by it. Even Crash's nose would get confused after that. Could he even do it? Could it be done in time? After all, Elouise had maybe hours before Garrett would kill her. He was going to want his money first. Then he was going to want revenge. Which he would have gotten in one fell swoop. Revenge on us, killing our unofficial pack member. Revenge on Elouise. And revenge on Crash. I wasn't certain how much more we could do at that point, but I did know that whatever we could do, our time to do it in was running out. |
| It's been one hell of a week. Boss said stay away from Garrett and his wannabe crime family, so that's what I did. Or at least tried to. I didn't follow him anywhere after that fiasco at the office, didn't bother trying to talk to him when I got out of my own ass chewing. Crash just grumbled "figures," when I came home that night and told him what happened. Then he asked if I filled out those reports like he asked. Which, of course I had. I filled them out with his NCIS forms, "National Claw InciSors" form to be precise. He got a smile out of that one. During my typical running around that week, I'd seen a lot of their family. Marissa standing at the pharmacy when I arrived, looking as if she'd ran down there to beat me into it. She had her cell phone out and ready when I'd arrived, recording me. I had to leave and wait an hour before she finally left. Tarissa pulling into the gas pump and pumping gas directly behind me, cell phone in hand, presumably recording. She flipped her hair back, and batted her attractive eyes. "I always did like a man in uniform. They give you one of those cute sheriff things or a pretty blue cop one?" I turned and snarled, biting my lip and squeezing my hand hard enough to leave impressions of my fingernails in my palm pads. She giggled at me from behind her cellphone. "Oh come on! It's rude to not answer someone when they're talking to you!" Part of me wanted to spin around and snarl back, "It's even more rude to kill a couple and con a community with a fake land scam!" Of course, I didn't. If it was just my own freedom at stake, I would have done it in a heartbeat. However, Crash, and the gang don't deserve to suffer for my own mouth, as dumb as the circumstances may be. So, I did the only thing I could legally do - I left. Most of the week was like this. As inconspicuous as I was trying to be with it, it seemed they weren't. They were enjoying making me squirm, and enjoying more making sure other people watched me squirm and avoid eye contact, cell phone always recording me like I was a cheating ex being called out. And like a cheating ex, they relished in every public humiliation I was forced to suffer. These days, a good portion of folk will just stand back, pull the cell phones out and record for their social media, snickering the entire time. You still have some decent hearted beings out there who will turn their heads and do their best to not get involved, muttering sayings about circus and monkeys. But every once in a while, though, you'll get that one individual who will have to interfere. The kind of person who will be willing to stand up for you no matter what. The type of person who you wish, for the love of God, would just shut up. They pushed and pushed and talked and talked, not exactly following me, but still popping up in enough places around our little town that it felt like I was being constantly watched. The pressure got to the point that sobriety for me was about to take a few days sabbatical until the entire thing blew over. Outside of the liquor store, Marissa (or is it Tarissa? I can never get those two straight) showed up. All I wanted was a bottle cheap liquor. Marissa, Tarissa, Clarissa explains it all, whatever her damn name was stopped me in front of the door and wanted to talk. "Aww, poor little cripple needs a drink? I can help ya get one, honey?" If I'd heard him pull up, I would have said something, honest I would have. But I gritted my teeth so hard they hurt. I took two steps back towards my car seeing red, about to explode, when someone did for me. And about the worst person in that situation who could have. "I know not why you make trouble for friend! But you make trouble for him, you make trouble with me!" Charles' voice was distinct. And he was already losing his grammar, which meant Charles was beginning a slow shift. He was going to smash, rip, rend and tear anyone in his way. Marissa, the door, the liquor store, the attendant behind the counter, the bird in the tree behind the store. It didn't matter. Of course, Marissa/Tarissa whoever she was, didn't care. She had started turning green herself, and was preparing to go all rougarou on me and Charles. "You best get your Hulderfolk pet on a leash, human," she snarled. I tried to grab Charles arm and pull him back. "Come on, big guy. It's not worth it," I tried. "She insult you! She insult me! She is bad person! Bad person DIE!" And there it was. The push she had been spoiling for. Her cell phone was out and before I could shout 'Shut up, dummy,' she was recording again. "What's that?! You're going to hurt me?" Charles took the obvious bait and ran with it, snapping the metaphorical line. "I'll more than hurt! I'll chew your bones and feast on entrails!" I could see what she was doing. It was very careful: poking, prodding. Pushing just enough to rile him up, but without making a clear threat of her own. Everything was said in the form of a question, and when the police arrived, which didn't take long, everything was presented. "More threats, officer. Me and my family can't get a moment's peace," was the official line. "We were just going to the grocery store and there he was!" A few taps and she pulled out a video of me at the grocery store. She swiped to another video. "Here we are just trying to get gas and he had to jump in ahead of us!" She swipped angrily to two more videos and snarled at the cop, "It's like he's stalking us, I swear!" When he looked at me, she gave me the briefest of glances. There was a look of triumph in that glance. The way the videos appeared was the moment the camera came out, I turned my head, blushed in embarrassment like I'd just been caught, and tried to get out of the way. Hell, even I thought I looked guilty in how those videos were edited. So, I didn't blame the local officer when he started asking pointed questions. Not that Charles helped much in that regard either. The cop was in his mid thirties, looked to still be doing patrol, which to me meant that he was likely already over this entire endeavor. His thinning hair almost pulled forward in the scowl the man was giving me. "Would you care to explain what happened?" I believe it was the cops tone. But, hulderfolk are notoriously unpredictable, especially when angered. So, likely it could have been anything. "Don't you dare question friend!" It went down hill from there. Charles snarling obscenities, and becoming more and more troll by the second, the officer snarling for Charles to stop, Marissa - or whatever twin she claimed to be, was crying about how scared she was, playing it up real big for a cop who seemed to be getting real sick of all of it. And me without any means of fighting back. Crash had to come out and interrupt things before they got worse. He barely got Charles restrained and calmed down enough to get him home. Marissa or whatever wonder twin she was, was practically dancing when that happened. Then the other shoe dropped. "We can't take this anymore, officer! I'd like to press charges," the toxic twin shouted, her voice holding a note of triumph as the officer rounded on me with a frustrated, weary look. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you in for further questioning." "But!" "We'll be impounding your vehicle as well sir." It's not like I hadn't been expecting as much. I believe I took it about as respectful and kind as I could. My official statement has me saying "What the actual ever loving fuck!" But I still say I said "whatever". Either or, things only got more fun for Marissa explains it all, recording the entire endeavor. Being tased hurts. Especially when it's done twice. There's no shame in admitting I was whimpering at the end of that. It felt like...no, I won't go into it. If anyone is curious enough, they go find a cop and get the experience first hand. Me? I don't want to relive that experience through explanation. Needless to say, I did end up on the asphalt of the parking lot, jerking and kicking. Of course none of these are memories I have. I remember the pain of it, then being on the ground. The videos I saw online though caught the whole incident in 4k. Someone caught it in 8k. At least my humiliation warranted the good resolution this time. On the way to the station, the cop gave me a look. I couldn't determine if it was pity, or just exhaustion. Either way, I didn't blame him. There was no telling what was going to happen when we got to the police station. But one thing was certain, it wasn't going to get any better for me that day. |
| We all get those parts of our jobs that we hate. Part of our job is dealing with unruly customers, the kind that drives us nuts and makes us want to violate one or two company rules and probably a law or two. I'm not exempted from this. Working part-time for Crash's special unit division thing, which I still don't know the name of, and which has become something of an office prank on me, I get those types of customers. It's worse when that customer is one that Crash was supposed to kill but had managed to get away. I'm still puzzled how he did it. But he sure as hell did. His gnarled wooden cane made a soft thwump thwump thwump on the floor as he walked across our office. Technically, as a part-time employee of the special division, unit thing that Crash works for, I'm not allowed to have a desk of my own. So, I've been forced to share one with Crash. Crash is getting the better end of this deal. Can't tell you the number of times I walked into an office only to find a stack of paperwork with Crash's scrawled and sometimes bloody signature on it. Only the words "fill these reports out and I'll sign it later. Thanks." on a Post-It note on top of them, each form had somehow had a different label for the department over the heading. "Special Investigations Unit", "Mythical Creature Commandos", "Law and Order: Fur and Claw Unit". Okay, that last one made me giggle. It's lead to more than one discussion of my duty around the office. Which has led me to not filling out the paperwork as he asked. Which has led to more pranks. We'll talk it out soon. We always do. But the man standing before me that day wasn't Crash. From his overalls, the shit eating grin on his face, the glint in his eye and the backwoods' hillbilly heroine millionaire look about him, it could only be Garrett. Despite having his tail ripped off, there was no loss of height. In human form, one leg had lost a lot of mass. His green eyes held a murderous look of triumph. "I understand there's a vacancy in your little town for my kind." If you don't remember Garrett. Him, Marissa and Tarissa some time ago had decided they were going to reconnect with their long-lost sister, Elouise. Elouise had stolen a significant sum of money from them, they wanted it back. But more than that, they attempted to scam the good folks of our little county out of money and had murdered an innocent couple in the process. The entire ordeal was covered in the 'New Business Ventures' episodes. The most shocking thing about that was the fact that he was standing there in front of my desk, in the middle of our office. Not in handcuffs, not in pieces. But in what looked to be his best overalls and flannel shirt! And none of the other mythicals in the building were doing a thing about it. "Didn't you murder a family and threaten to eat me or something? That sort of thing puts a bit of a damper on the whole 'Let's be neighbors' thing you're trying here." His lip didn't even curl up into a snarl, as if he expected the accusation. "You weren't an officer then. Heck, you technically aren't now, just the human secretary they suckered into doing this job. Besides, I got myself a pardon! Now where's that damn paperwork?" I left him at the desk, asking one of the mythicals on office duty to keep an eye on him. (Guy asked to be out of this blog. So, maybe I didn't even get the gender right, heh.) I went and talked to the boss, who only grunted, "send his tailless ass in. I'll speak to him." Curses flew under my breath as I walked over like a sequestered monk in humble prayer. When I sat down, I could see Garrett had heard every one from the shit eating grin on his face. "Boss will speak to you sir." "Ain't what you called me walking over," he laughed. "Why don't you stick around boy, I may want a bite after." He chuckled in the back of his throat at the comment. "I'll be an expensive meal, gatorboy. Go ahead and try it, I'd love a new pair of alligator boots." It shut his laughter up. Before he could retort I shouted over to the resident werebear or whatever his species is called and shouted "Hey boss! Garrett here is threatening your favorite human." "You're my only human. Tell him to get his scaly ass in here." Garrett gave me a dismissive snort and walked over to the bosses' office, his head held high as if he had won some grand prize. What I had expected and what happened were entirely different things. I had expected the boss to laugh, say hell no, and kick his sorry ass out, telling him 'pardon or no pardon, you're not welcome'. Instead, the boss snarled at him, and pointed a finger that was starting to become a claw at Garrett, shouting. I couldn't hear what was said, my hearing isn't good enough. But office gossip tells me it was nothing good. But he still agreed and processed the paperwork himself. That isn't the part that hurt. What hurt was what bossman had told me after. "Stay away from him and his family. That goes for you, Crash, and everyone else in your pack. Stay the hell away." It took a lot to bite back what I wanted to say then. Instead, I as respectfully as I could, pointed out the facts: they weren't going to stay away from us. Far from it, in fact. "I'm willing to bet, sir, that they'll try to move in next door." "Lucky for you, I vetoed that. They're buying property near the county line, near an entirely different town. You and yours should be left alone. If they bother you, Crash knows what to do. Don't you dare even glare at him." "He's the rougarou!" Boss sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Yes, but you're the human that threatened him." My jaw dropped for a moment. It took a couple of tries before I could respond without shouting at him. "He threatened me first. Said 'stick around, I may want a bite after'." "Yes, and he says he was inviting you to lunch, and you threatened him." I pounded the desk. "He threatened to eat me before!" Boss sighed and rubbed his temples. "Were you this much trouble in the military?" "No, in the military I could have shot him." He nodded at that and leaned back in his chair. "Believe me, I wish I could sink my teeth into that slippery bastard. But sometimes in law enforcement all you can do is play the long game. That means smiling and waving at scum like that while you wait for them to slip up. That's what you're doing Forte. Wait for him to slip up. Don't talk to him. Don't approach him. If he talks to you, don't respond. You got it?" "Got it," I said, dejectedly. Garrett had somehow beaten me before we had even had a chance for our next fight. He'd taken my two greatest assets off the board: my mouth and my pistol. What else could I do then but nod at him when I left the office, and go back to my desk. Fortunately, he didn't press his luck. After all, egging me on may get a rise out of me, but would destroy his entire 'innocent victim' shtick. But he did manage to walk by my desk one more time, thumping the cane extra loud to try and make me look at him. This entire situation would have been much easier to deal with in the military. A guy like Garrett would have been killed already. There wouldn't have been any of the jurisdictional nonsense. Bad guy is there. Located. Destroyed. End of list. But here, it's as if they're inviting him and his family into the damn county. Playing a game of chess with the lives in the county as chess pieces. I just hope that they figure something out soon, before Garrett tries to make a play for checkmate. That slippery bastard is smart enough to get it. |
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