I Don't Want to Burn in Hell

To who should I turn?
Pray someone tell
Does anyone know...
How to avoid burning in hell?

The Catholics say it's us
But the Muslims disagree
I'm so confused
And I fail to see

If the Christians are right
Then the Hindus are wrong
Man those Rasta's are cool
Should I just hit the bong?

One hundred forty-four thousand
Jehovah's going to heaven
What about the rest of us?
Will there be Armageddon?

They can't all be correct
So who should I choose?
There's so much at stake
With my soul to lose

I would pray to God
But which one is best?
Is it Allah or Shiva?
Is this some kind of test?

Because I don't want to burn
Although I won't be alone
There'll be so many others
In hell will be thrown

I'm beginning to think
This could be a hoax
From whom can I learn?
The truth could I coax

If it is all a lie
And my fear is unfounded
Does that mean the end?
I don't like how that sounded

Because to burn in hell
It used to sound bad
But compared to nothingness
There with Lucifer, I'll be glad