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Friday, Jun. 28, 2024

11:29am EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

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Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Montana

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

#68. The Whiskey River Blues
ID #931631 entered on March 28, 2018 at 10:42am

#67. Overcoming
ID #929409 entered on February 24, 2018 at 6:51pm

#66. Not My Valentine
ID #928907 entered on February 14, 2018 at 9:40am

#65. My Next Broken Heart
ID #928666 entered on February 9, 2018 at 8:10pm

#64. Angel Oak
ID #928586 entered on February 8, 2018 at 10:55am

#63. Contradiction
ID #928491 entered on February 6, 2018 at 3:48pm

#62. Better Days
ID #928440 entered on February 5, 2018 at 4:40pm

#61. Can you guess?
ID #928284 entered on February 3, 2018 at 3:59pm

#60. Tupelo Tableau
ID #928158 entered on March 9, 2018 at 11:19am

#59. The idea of the negative
ID #927815 entered on January 26, 2018 at 4:58pm

#58. Solace of Winter
ID #927691 entered on January 24, 2018 at 10:54am

#57. Unlucky
ID #923871 entered on November 15, 2017 at 6:05pm

#56. One More Round
ID #923460 entered on November 7, 2017 at 5:39pm

#55. Haiku
ID #916003 entered on July 23, 2017 at 6:49pm

#54. Beachcombing Ballerina
ID #903245 entered on January 26, 2017 at 7:52pm

#53. Peaches
ID #817493 entered on May 21, 2014 at 12:13pm

#52. Cherish
ID #772161 entered on January 19, 2013 at 7:36pm

#51. Blank Page
ID #770927 entered on January 8, 2013 at 8:16pm

#50. Uprising
ID #762632 entered on October 11, 2012 at 11:22am

#49. Apple Pie
ID #759882 entered on September 2, 2012 at 4:23pm

#48. Nature's Grace
ID #758804 entered on August 17, 2012 at 11:35am

#47. Me and Jasper
ID #758730 entered on August 16, 2012 at 11:14am

#46. Summer Interlude
ID #757864 entered on August 5, 2012 at 12:39pm

#45. Dishwater
ID #755304 entered on June 20, 2012 at 11:43am

#44. Vacation
ID #755224 entered on June 19, 2012 at 3:55pm

#43. Professors
ID #755091 entered on June 17, 2012 at 4:28pm

#42. Greet the day
ID #754938 entered on June 15, 2012 at 12:59pm

#41. Springtime Fantasies
ID #754857 entered on June 14, 2012 at 7:31am

#40. Playpen
ID #751688 entered on April 25, 2012 at 2:33pm

#39. Paradise
ID #751669 entered on June 18, 2012 at 10:23am

#38. Wilderness Wonderland
ID #751530 entered on June 16, 2012 at 1:43pm

#37. Witness
ID #751457 entered on June 16, 2012 at 2:17pm

#36. Men
ID #751387 entered on April 21, 2012 at 6:35am

#35. Diagnosis: Bigotry
ID #751216 entered on April 18, 2012 at 12:45pm

#34. April 16: Sweet 16
ID #751082 entered on April 16, 2012 at 12:11pm

#33. Orthodox
ID #750988 entered on June 21, 2012 at 11:40am

#32. April 11: The importance of accurate information
ID #750726 entered on April 11, 2012 at 1:01pm

#31. April 10: Photographic negative
ID #750640 entered on April 10, 2012 at 8:55am

#30. April 8: Rupture/Rapture
ID #750438 entered on April 8, 2012 at 6:04am

#29. April 6: The idea of the good.
ID #750352 entered on April 6, 2012 at 3:12pm

#28. Progress?
ID #745338 entered on January 22, 2012 at 7:11pm

#27. Updating
ID #743030 entered on January 1, 2012 at 8:11pm

#26. Another Revival
ID #742642 entered on December 27, 2011 at 5:20pm

#25. An indelible impression.
ID #687383 entered on February 13, 2010 at 12:40pm

#24. Awareness
ID #687275 entered on February 12, 2010 at 11:42am

#23. Voices
ID #687168 entered on February 11, 2010 at 1:53pm

#22. Another 5 minute drill.
ID #685372 entered on January 26, 2010 at 9:46am

#21. A five minute drill.
ID #685126 entered on January 24, 2010 at 12:34pm

#20. Relativity, Multivalence & Travelin' on.
ID #684608 entered on January 21, 2010 at 7:32pm

#19. Multivalence
ID #684149 entered on January 17, 2010 at 4:33pm

#18. Mt. Pleasant Musing
ID #684046 entered on January 16, 2010 at 7:20pm

#17. Freezing temps and mixed metaphors.
ID #683827 entered on January 14, 2010 at 7:05pm

#16. Resurrection.
ID #683564 entered on January 12, 2010 at 9:56pm

#15. Finally making some progress!
ID #518243 entered on June 30, 2007 at 6:06pm

#14. Delinquent
ID #516774 entered on June 22, 2007 at 4:58pm

#13. Trying to get back in the groove.
ID #509220 entered on May 17, 2007 at 6:01pm

#12. Pushing forward.
ID #503003 entered on April 20, 2007 at 2:27pm

#11. Busy Days
ID #501053 entered on April 11, 2007 at 6:02pm

#10. Getting back in the groove.
ID #500250 entered on April 7, 2007 at 5:52pm

#9. Overcoming Inertia
ID #499816 entered on April 5, 2007 at 6:48pm

#8. Trying to catch up.
ID #499353 entered on April 3, 2007 at 4:50pm

#7. March 29, 2007
ID #498369 entered on March 29, 2007 at 6:24pm

#6. March 28, 2007
ID #498150 entered on March 28, 2007 at 5:26pm

#5. March 26, 2007
ID #497776 entered on March 26, 2007 at 5:50pm

#4. March 25, 2007
ID #497546 entered on March 25, 2007 at 3:51pm

#3. March 23, 2007
ID #497204 entered on March 23, 2007 at 5:27pm

#2. March 22, 2007
ID #496930 entered on March 22, 2007 at 4:23pm

#1. March 21, 2007
ID #496709 entered on March 21, 2007 at 6:27pm

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