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Tuesday, Jul. 2, 2024

2:09pm EDT

Members: 967

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

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Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Montana

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

November 10, 2018 at 4:22pm

#945301

A Cold Wind

A cold wind blows
across those hills,
where crows hunt food
for their brood with
the shrewd zeal of ancient myth.

Hunger pangs drive
as they strive to
survive the bleak
winter streak of
oblique fortunes from above.

4 Like • Comment

October 11, 2018 at 5:48pm

#943230

About the Night

The mysteries persist
when poets deign to know
and write about the night.

Author's note: The Lady's Slipper is a charming little gem found in Viola Berg's treasure trove of poetic forms Pathways for the Poet. Invented by Viola Gardner, it consists of three lines written in iambic trimeter with internal rhyming within each line, as described and demonstrated in the following link: http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/forums/topic/1199-metric-forms-from-pathways-for... .

3 Like • Comment

October 2, 2018 at 5:35pm

#942495

Echoes from the crypt

Macabre echoes from the crypt
roll across the graveyard,
as ghouls debate the plot
in Satan's script.

1 Like • Comment

October 2, 2018 at 11:03am

#942438

Alchemy

In the alchemy of time and illusion,
poets find hidden truths
about the human spirit.

2 Like • Comment

October 1, 2018 at 10:33am

#942327

The Cadence

Along the shore, we gather shells
deposited by tidal swells
in cadence with the ebb and flow.

Like • Comment

September 30, 2018 at 12:56am

#942193

Nefarious Characters

Nefarious characters
with vacuous brains
spout spurious claims
for insidious purpose.

1 Like • Comment

September 28, 2018 at 11:59am

#942128

Existential Wit

The existential wit
of residential grit
is quintessential fit
for presidential twit.

1 Like • Comment

September 17, 2018 at 10:51am

#941581

Hallelujah!

The skies looked sinister
until minister delivered his sermon
with robust
"Hallelujah!"

Like • Comment

September 9, 2018 at 8:51pm

#941127

Dormant

A creative spirit
lies dormant
within each of us,
waiting to be aroused
from its slumber.

1 Like • Comment

September 8, 2018 at 5:51pm

#941059

HELP!

My dearest friend Truth
is drowning in a deluge
of propaganda, rumor,
and speculation.

7 Like • Comment

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