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Tuesday, Jul. 2, 2024

1:52pm EDT

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Total Online: 2,169

Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Previous ... 21 22 23 24 -25- 26 27 28 29 30 ... Next

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Montana

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

September 7, 2018 at 5:58pm

#940996

Paying Homage

Paying homage to
sultry sunset blush,
fireflies flicker, float
and mingle among
stars in night sky.

2 Like • Comment

September 6, 2018 at 4:26pm

#940942

The Tempest

The tempest of political angst
by pompous pundits
sweeps rational discourse
down the sewer.

2 Like • Comment

September 5, 2018 at 5:40pm

#940872

Flashes

Ephemeral flashes
of inspiration
come and go,
helter-skelter,
like fireflies in the night.

6 Like • Comment

September 4, 2018 at 4:09pm

#940819

Our Opulent Soiree

Unicorns, pixies, poets
come together
with bells and whistles
for
opulent birthday soiree.

Like • Comment

September 2, 2018 at 12:56pm

#940686

Balloon Rising

Clear September morning,
hot air balloon
rises with the sun--
free to roam.

1 Like • Comment

September 1, 2018 at 5:58pm

#940658

Our Birthday Bash

We start our birthday bash
with boisterous salute
and celebrate by raising cup.
Rooty toot toot!

2 Like • Comment

August 31, 2018 at 7:47pm

#940598

Our Dreams

We'll wash our dreams
in the river of life
and hang them out to dry
on the horns
of a crescent moon.

2 Like • Comment

August 31, 2018 at 9:13am

#940566

The Magic Elixir

The magic elixir
of enchanting poetry
will transfix her
with visions of Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Valkyrie-Norse-mythology

3 Like • Comment

August 30, 2018 at 6:22am

#940519

The Last Vestige

The last vestige of daylight
slips beneath the blanket
of eventide,
clearing stage for stars' display.

4 Like • Comment

August 28, 2018 at 6:11pm

#940455

The Washoe Zephyr

A blast of dust
sends chickens and goats
flying across the plains
as the Washoe Zephyr
comes to call.

More about the Washoe Zephyr: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhIVzQhtvc4

Like • Comment

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