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322 Public Reviews Given
372 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It would be nice to know the number of words each winner got.
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Review of "A"  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Appealing alacrity allures all audacity. Animal anxiousness and arid aspirations avoid announcing allusions. Always.

However, I must say, “This is rather clever.” 😉
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, foxtale, for the privilege of reviewing this masterpiece work of patriotism. You had me on my feet with my hand over my heart, reciting The Pledge of Allegiance as I read the last line. I sensed some tears welling up, during the description of this flag retirement ceremony.

I can't find anything to correct, regarding spelling or grammar. The paragraphs are a welcome reminder of my high school English classes because they are clear and well-defined, not run-on as is sometimes the case in contemporary prose.

The sidebar and explanations of the meanings of the ceremony are definitely a nice touch.

May we always honor The Lord, Who gave us this great nation. May He continue to be merciful us in honor of the many, who have fought to preserve us free, like the men, who stormed Normandy 80 years ago this week, two days ago on June 6th, 2024.

Be truly blessed always. Thank you, again, for the gift of this great piece of writing, and the honor of being asked to review it. Jay (aka "Stan")
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for entry "Week 38 - Stripes" 
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Encouraging, AmyJo. Write on.
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Review of Are You…  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have my great respect. Both my father and grandfather served this country, faithfully, too.

Your words are so true.

Keep writing.
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW! My neck now needs a massage. That was definitely a whiplash piece of writing. I hope you got to school without being too late. I'm wondering if your tummy was growling like mine would have been because I didn't hear anything about breakfast, and I need breakfast without fail.

"Middle Schooler," hmmm? I think this has to be a memory from the info in your Bio. I think middle school is a challenging time for every human being. I know my middle school years were.

Excellent writing! Here's a thought. You might want to consider paragraphs unless the run-on effect was a creative choice. If that's the case, then you nailed it!

Keep Writing!

Blessings Always!
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Review of Dead Ends  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Pensive. Moody. Intriguing. I have to think deeply about this one. I'm not sure I get the point, but that appears to be the point. This piece is a strong dead end, which is what we sometimes feel, that Life is when it's not panning out the way we wish it would.

Excellent thought-provoking piece of writing. You've accomplished your purpose. ONWARD & UPWARD.

Blessings Always, Emphire.
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Review of To live in fear  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jayesandz, this is an excellent poem, filled with pathos and hope. I have found poetry to be a healing balm for the pains of childhood. It’s obvious, that you have found this ointment as well.

For the events you describe in this poem, I’m sorry. That The Lord met your need, I’m glad.

Consistent a-b-c-b rhyme scheme. Your quatrains are made of consistent couplets of four feet followed by three feet of mostly iambic meter, but sometimes anapestic meter thrown in for flavor.

You have handled your situation as well as anyone could ask. I’m glad The Lord has given you peace.

Truest blessings always. Please, join us at The Poet’s Place on WDC. Speak with Dave about joining.

Jay
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Review of Wishing Well  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, Spiritual Dawning.

You have a consistent A-A rhyme scheme for these couplet verses.

The message is true to the season. People, like me, who love Christmas tend to feel sad and misty when the day has recently passed. That's me "to a tea." However, you have displayed hope to help us pass through the sadness into a new year of possibilities.

"The wishing well" seems to contain the double meaning of "Sadness is now, but we are wishing you well in the future."

This is such an encouraging thought as an antidote for the feelings I am experiencing right now.

Blessings Always.

Jay
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Review of Gossamer  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent poem, Sherasi. So compassionate. So understanding of the difficulty faced.

My Dad died young at 73, but one of the telling things he said to me in those last few years was, "Pray for me, Son. I'm concerned about my "thinkability." I think he was in the early stages when he died.

I'm part of a group on WDC, called "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP." Viv is a great leader. She's very encouraging.

I have learned something very important over the years. Everyone needs to be treated with respect. Dementia individuals, autistic people, and Asperger's souls, like me, need to be understood.

We need to be heard. Your poem is all about being heard. I hear the heart of this poem. Well done. Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good poem, Chariot. Nice insights. Perceptive. Very imaginative. Write on. 😃
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Review by Jay O'Toole
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy Birthday, Angus!
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, AmyJo. Authentic. You’re making progress. Excellent.

Life is tough, but pain is optional. I like that.

Hope for the future, peace for today. Well-written poem. Be encouraged. Onward and upward. Keep sharing from the heart. Be blessed always. 😃
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey, AmyJo! Great activity. I hope I haven't cut off my attempts too quickly, but I don't want to run the risk of forgetting to enter these words in the attempt of finding more.

Blessings Always. Jay *Smile*

1. Awesome:
---awe
---some
---saw
---me
---so
---was
---seem
---a
---mesa
---same
---soma
---owes
---swam
---woes

2. Mathematician:
---math
---me
---thematic
---nice
---cite
---mate
---mama
---time
---him
---a
---name
---I
---match
---meat
---team
---mice
---main
---mine
---mane
---antic
---hem
---mace
---tat
---cat
---hema
---thin
---meant
---cent
---tent
---man
---he-man
---came
---Namath

3. Teacher:
---teach
---her
---here
---hear
---cheat
---ate
---eat
---reach
---each
---tear
---care
---a
---cheer
---tea
---arch
---race
---ache
---hate
---ear
---are
---the
---thee
---he
---heat
---hat
---rate
---rat

4. Amalgamation:
---amalgam
---a
---am
---lag
---mat
---gain
---glam
---tail
---no
---lion
---talon
---in
---on
---mail
---malt
---not
---tan
---nail
---gait
---gamma
---aim
---lit
---got
---nag
---tag
---lag
---I
---glint
---mit
---tin

5. Contraindication:
---train
---a
---I
---rain
---diction
---indication
---nation
---no
---on
---ton
---not
---ant
---din
---dint
---nadar
---ration
---tad
---dain
---ordain
---onto
---into
---cat
---dart
---contraction
---action
---inaction
---indict
---contract
---cant
---cartoon
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Review of Gentle Reminder  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent. Great thoughts, AmyJo. We need to rest in The Lord Jesus, always. The good times. The bad times. They’re all His. Great encouragement. Keep writing like this, Sis. Blessings Always.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of "Poppies"  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, Sis. What an excellent homage to In Flanders Fields in emotion without actually rewriting the same.

Blessings Always to an excellent poet, and my Big Sis! *Smile*

Jay (aka Stan)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of "Polka-Dot-Boots  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
SWEET. You’ve got personality, and writing skills as well, Sis. ONWARD & UPWARD. Stan 😃
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Review of "Songs of Angels"  
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks, Teresa. This is a masterful poem. What a great tribute to our recent discussion about wind chimes.

I wouldn’t change a thing in this poem.

Blessings Always. 😃


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LeJenD, there is such great pathos in this poem. You show just how much two hearts have become knit as one. How does one live without the love of one's life? It remains to be seen for both of us. I can't imagine the continuing of life without great effort on my part with support from God, Who has made me.

It almost feels disrespectful to express this many words because your poem speaks for itself. Thank you for the privilege of reading your heart-cry, while offering a few thoughts of my own. Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this, Soma.

I think this piece is therapeutic for those, who have experienced the loss of love. They can realize, that they are not alone. Others feel as they do.

Love is such a close friendship, that it can experience betrayal quickly because there is no place for the heart to hide. This transparency leaves a person open to being manipulated by those, who are takers, and not givers.

This free-verse poem explores the vulnerabilities of love. Untrue people break hearts in the name of love. The truly loving individual receives as much love as is given because true love is an endless cycle of giving and receiving love.

Two lovers make both lovers stronger.

One lover, who misjudges an unlover, becomes weaker, until rescued out into a safe place, once again.

God gave us tools, two ears and two eyes to research all potential loves for twice as long, before opening the one mouth to express the love of one heart. In His Wisdom, He shows us that we must be doubly vigilant before we give that part of us, that is only one.

May you be strong.

May you know true love.

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Soma, for sharing this piece. It is well-written and emotionally transparent.

Anger demonstrates a wound of the heart as surely as red, angry skin demonstrates a cut from a thorn.

The short lines show the rush with which life tends to be lived when anger is boiling over.

That last 4-8 lines give the transition to peace and joy. Growth has occurred. Hope is restored. Peace has come in the form of acceptance.

Please, continue your writing. You have a great deal to offer the world.

Much goodness and success to you.

Sincerely,

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful place, Sister! What a wonderful testimony you share with the world. Blessings Always. 😃
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with Space Blog Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Marvilla, WOW did you ever pick a movie to review!

This will challenge me to stay objective, since this was a once-in-a-lifetime event, that I had to live through, and to work through, while I was at work on April 20th, 1999. I still deal with it when I think about that day. As I write this review of your essay/review I've placed my copy of the original printing of Rachel's Tears right next to me on the table. https://www.ebay.com/p/1730702. This is the printing, that I have. It is certainly worth the read.

I wept through the reading of this book. It's significant to note, that this book only took me a little over a month to read in the fall of 2000, which was only 18 months after the event. My reading ability is slow for a writer. I think this is because I am exacting over the content I read, wanting to digest every word. It may interest you to know, that on average a movie review for the Rising Stars Summer Camp costs me well over an hour, sometimes two because I pour over the reviewer's words. After I think I have completed my review of the writer's work. I usually reread my own review 2, 3, or 4 times, making sure, that I have edited my own words well, making them presentable to the movie reviewer.

I take reviewing very seriously like I take my Christian walk. We only travel this Terran sod, once, in these dying bodies, and I want my sojourn to have a major impact on Eternity.

Every time I do one of these reviews, I like to see what famous person added their influence to the picture. Sadie Robertson and Jaci Velasquez were both important in my mind.

Now, as to some of the "nuts & bolts" of this review, check your spelling of "Jaci Velasquez" in your piece as well as "Ben Davies."

Your first paragraph, Marvilla, is a good one. Rachel Joy Scott was the first person killed that day, but did you know that the last one of the victims killed was also a young Christian sister, Cassie Bernall, whose story was immortalized in a music video by Michael W. Smith. This is a book about her life, She Said Yes on an Amazon page full of great reads. https://www.amazon.com/She-Said-Yes-Unlikely-Marty...



Marvilla, I believe this sentence, "There is the plot between the two boys in trench coats who decided to do the shooting," could have been stronger by including the boys names, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris. This video is so powerful about how we humans face the same problems in life, but some like Dylan and Eric turn to violence to solve their problems, while others like Rachel Joy and Cassie turn to Christ. The girls were rebellious with Cassie dabbling in satanism, but she allowed Jesus to save her just in time. The boys were into satanism and rebellion and just stayed there, being eternally lost.

There is so much to pity about the boys. Yes. We hate what they did, but they, too, were souls for whom Christ died. We think about the pain experienced by the families and friends of the victims, but do we realize how much pain is still to this day being experienced by the families of the shooters? Dylan's mother created this Ted Talk.



Finally, Marvilla, these sentences, "Rachel Scott draws a mysterious drawing in her journal before her death. This ends up representing the 13 students, including herself, that was were killed on April 20, 1999,"are powerful, but they could have been off-the-charts powerful if the photocopy of this drawing could have been transferred to your review in some way. (It's not just you. I have trouble trying to figure out how to put still photos in something I'm writing. For some reason, videos are easier for me to input.) How amazing would that have been to see the drawing, and to slow down, writing about all of the elements in this mysterious, but poignantly prophetic drawing?

This drawing as shown at the bottom of this webpage, https://tosavealife.com/faith/inspiration/rachel-s... shows 13 tears coming down from the two faceless eyes. Encircling the rose are 19 tears, which nearly equal the 20, who were wounded on that day.

I'm sorry for taking over to be the resource guy on your movie review, but it's like I said at the beginning of my review, it's a little hard to take me out of this subject. So, I don't know if I've been the best guy to do a rational, logical review of your work.

I care very much about this event in the HIStory of our nation as well as in the HIStory of our world.

You said it best in your last paragraph, "Rachel Joy Scott wanted to make a difference, and change the world to make it a better place. She willingly sacrificed her life for her belief in God. As a result, her life and death did have an impact on her world. Her story has touched thousands of lives."

I am one of those lives. I am one of those lives.

Excellent review, Sister. WRITE ON!
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for entry "A Film Review" 
Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with Space Blog Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Lurie Park, for the privilege of reviewing your essay about the movie, The Man Who Knew Infinity. Your insights are quite gifted. Your critique of this movie is multidimensional, moving back and forth easily between the story of the film and the expertise of the actors themselves.

In order to assist you in growing your writing style, I will now point out a few things, that could help you with clarity to the average reader. Your detailed mind shows up repeatedly in complex sentences. In a venue, such as a university, such complexity can be quite a plus. However, since many day-to-day readers of news articles and items of social interest in the world tend to have a comprehension level on the sixth-grade (or middle school years) reading level, I have learned to write in more simple sentences, even though I have not accomplished this very well in these first two paragraphs of my review of your work. *Wink*

Bottom Line: Growing as a writer is a lifelong lesson as we can plainly see.

Let's get specific. I came across this sentence in your essay/movie review.
"He is a man who is troubled by poverty, away from his wife and mother at home; a Brahmin isn’t allowed to cross the oceans, he iterates." I believe it would help the reader to create two sentences in place of this one complex sentence. Here is my suggestion. "He is a man, who is troubled by poverty, and who is away from his wife and mother at home. 'A Brahmin isn't allowed to cross the oceans,' he iterates." Obviously, when you write it in your essay, you would need to use quotation marks in place of my apostrophes, since the sentence, "A Brahmin isn't allowed to cross the oceans" is a quote within a quote in my example.

There are other complex sentences in your essays, but I will not take the time to address them all as I wish to teach you a principle for writing to a mass market. "Two simple sentences are often better than one complex sentence." A second principle follows in kind. "Use complex sentences sparingly as a chef uses spices. Just enough makes a magnificent dining experience."

In your first paragraph, The Man Who Knew Infinity should be underlined as it is the title of a book as well as of a movie. May I offer the word, "tender" in place of the word, "timid," since timid means fearful, and tender is more in agreement with the other word you used, "reverential."

I like what you did with the words, "autodidact," "Kali," and "tuberculosis," using the hover-over insertion box tool. That is a part of ML with which I am not greatly familiar. This is something you taught me in this exercise. *Smile*. Thank you.

I have taken time to look at your profile since this helps me to better understand each person I review. I understand, that you are a "high school student" (as we call it in the US,) and I now know that you live in Great Britain. Your age makes me greatly impressed by the level of depth and insight in your writing. You have a great start as a writer.

Finally, I would like to add a note about the differences in expressions among the English-speaking peoples of the world. I have learned many interesting things as I have talked with people around the world over the years. I have been a sixth-grade teacher, (which in the US means students of 11 to 12 years of age,) and I have been an online ESL teacher with students from China to Texas, USA.

Let me highlight a couple of expressions you have used in this essay, that should not be considered "wrong" per se, but these are simply different from the expressions U.S. speakers would use, and is, therefore, worthy of your consideration as you expand your audience of English-speaking peoples.

1. "That's why this movie becomes a hit number." The wording is good, and well said. It simply sounds a little British to me, since in The States we tend to say, "That's why this movie has become a number one hit (or "#1 hit.") Americans seem to use symbols in our writing at times. That doesn't make us better than anybody else. It is a uniqueness to consider when we are the focus audience. "Less is more." The usage of symbols in writing for Americans is a learned art. Just enough is "talking like a native speaker" as my Chinese ESL students used to say. Too much seems forced and unnatural.

2. "For a layman Indian, its (Grammarly suggested this change) direction is thoroughly appreciated." The use of the third person in addressing oneself is more formal and as such appears to be British since Americans often introduce themselves in the first person, "I am..." However, as a student of the King James Bible, I have been known to use the format you used as well. I'm glad to know, that Indian is your heritage. All the Indians I have known have been quite intelligent, and I consider it my honor to know them.

3. "It had earned the overall income of 1.23 crores USD in initial year of release." I am assuming this is British because of a couple of words in this sentence. I am unfamiliar with the word, "crores." However, I assume it is a lot of money in USD. Also, Grammarly and I would both suggest using "the" in front of the word, "initial."

Lurie Park, you have done quite well in your movie review. I pray, that my verbosity does not suggest otherwise. My reviews come from the heart of a teacher, who wishes to help writers to shine in much the same way, that a classic car owner takes time to shine a car, already amazing to consider. You have great depth as a writer. My details should be considered as tools to use with your skills.

Here is yet another signature, that has been provided for me by my good friends, WS & GG.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Jay O'Toole
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
That’s great, Brother James. Our world would be a better place with more Gospel preachers fulfilling their God-given calling.

My Dad was my pastor for many years, during my early life. He sounds like your pastor, and as a poet, he was like you because he wrote a poem about his pastor.

Blessings, Friend & Brother. Thanks for your service to the Lord. 😃

Jay
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