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352 Public Reviews Given
403 Total Reviews Given
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem, Tim. Such honesty, showing the challenges of excellent heights and disappointing lows in a real relationship.

You've written consistent quatrains of iambic trimeter with a rhyme scheme of A-B-C-B.

Working together certainly makes a strong friendship and a lasting love that can be enjoyed throughout a lifetime together.

Much success to both of you. WRITE ON!
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Review of Why Write?  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, Dan I Am. Perfectly done form. Great sentiments of encouragement to us writers. We do write for satisfaction and for the Gift Points. You have worthy experience and great imagination. Well-done free verse poem, showing your thoughts about the process of writing poetry.

Thank you for the privilege of sharing my review with you.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an interesting piece of writing. I see that all of your favorite Disney movies are animated, which gives potential for a higher level of speed and flexibility in the action they can portray.

The numbers help to organize and prioritize the order of favorites. It's nice to learn about your favorite songs from the movies as well.

I noticed that you stated a moral from Wreck-It Ralph. I think that would be nice to know about each one of these movies.

Please, keep writing. You have something important to share with the world.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
These song lyrics are filled with such pathos, such pain. It's well-written and obviously has potential in the world of pop tunes. Seven verses, and one bridge. It seems to have a bit of an Alanis Morissette feel to it. Add a little vocal fry, and you have a Top 40 Hit.
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Review of The Dodgy Dive  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
So true, Chuck. We try so hard to steel our wits about us while keeping our life secured in the attempt of something just out of our reach, and then...a broken bone, sprained muscle, or terrible belly flop.

We always learn from the experience, but what pain we endure as we're going through it.

You've said it well in 50 words! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tim, this free-verse poem is a great vehicle for describing Election 2020.

"Animus," "sloshy," "frothy calamity," and "chaos" are all excellent descriptors for the mélange that was the societal discomfort of 2020 as seen in that year's Presidential Election.

With your couplet,
"To ensure predictability
And economic improvement"
you have identified the goal of leadership, regardless of Party.

Considering your first line, your last line, "And eternal modesty" appears to a humorous poke, birthed of wry wit.

This poem is filled with pathos and an excellent ability to get your point across in relatively few lines.

WRITE ON!
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Review of Promptly Poetry  Open in new Window.
for entry "Tuscan Afternoon" Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for this piece, Amethyst Angel. Such a literary postcard, a piece of a larger canvas painted on a gentle evening. "Straight from a painting," as you so eloquently put it.

Your free verse poem is an exploration of the human experience, asking questions we all have to face from time to time.

This poem feels like a sunset meal with a friend, yet she is a friend that any compassionate person would want to help. You have imagined the real reason for "the furrowed brow" could be a range from "existential crisis" to something much more mundane.

Thought-provoking. Thank you for "listening" to me rehash what you already said so well. There is very little I could add. This poem is well-framed, well-written, and well-thought-out. It's easy to see why you placed so well in the contest.

WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, AmyJo. You've met the prompt, handily.

True Love is such a gift, lifelong and emotionally nourishing. You've written about this kind of love with great care.

This free verse poem follows the prescription of Shape, whereby your couplets follow the patterns of contrast for half of them, and parallelism for the other half. King David often followed this form of expression in the Psalms. You're in good company.

The love shared by two partners throughout Life, that is founded on the Love that the Lord gives is a Joy that can't be fully expressed in words.

Blessings Always, Sis, to you and yours. Again, well done! WRITE ON!

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, AnchorHolds925, for this amazing poem regarding the first coming of the Lord Jesus. Being unfamiliar with the dizain, I looked it up just now. You have followed the pattern perfectly, telling the Advent account in such an encouraging way. Thank you for sharing the Good News in your poetry.

The Christmas season is my favorite time of year. What a joy it is to read this on Summer's Christmas Eve, since June 25 is the exact opposite of Christmas! This means that starting tomorrow, we will begin moving back in the direction of Christmas 2025.

Blessings Always! Welcome aboard to WDC, since I see that you joined earlier this year!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thank you, Crissa, for this good piece. It's poignant. I relate to the last sentence. As a Christian, I know I have the responsibility of helping people who are being treated poorly.

As a child of the 60's, and a teen of the 70's, I went out of my way to show respect to black people, and to honor women. Both groups had walked through difficulty, and were not being respected in this country the way the Bible declares that they must be respected. (Some would say, there is still change that is needed.)

However, the way you received reverse discrimination, I have felt that my place in Society has been diminished, too. Privileged male? Privileged white person? Maybe on occasion, but certainly not full-time.

Obviously, your piece is well-written and has sparked some emotions in me, too. Overall, the Bible enjoins respect for others, regardless of race or gender.

I am only one person, but I will do what I can. You have made a great installment in that department in the writing of this piece of prose.

I'm sorry if I've made this too much about me. I hope my review shows that we are in strong agreement.

Blessings Always!

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Gratefully IE, this is a wonderful poem that follows the prompt so well. This seems to be written in a free verse style, since I cannot find a consistent rhythm or rhyme.

Great imagination, chronicling the activities of the underwater world, things to do with times of rest. Four quatrains describe a peaceful vacation day.

Well done! WRITE ON!
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Review of Walls Could Talk  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Detective, this is a well-written poem in free verse style because I can't discern a consistent rhythm or rhyme, which is certainly okay, since the picture it paints is quite clear.

I don't often read ghost stories in prose or poetry. So, I would like to thank you that the paranormal is hinted at without being graphic in any way.

The church I attend has a large cemetery on the same property. There is also a pastor's home on another part of the property. Frankly, I can't imagine spending the night in either the church or the pastor's home for the reasons you repeated in chorus in this poem. "Would you dare to spend a night in this house of shadows?" I seriously doubt it.

I didn't take off anything in the rating, but you may want to look at this phrase in the middle of your poem (verse 4). "Manic laughed reach" could possibly be "Manic laughter reaches."

Other than that, the poem seems to be on track, leaving the emotions "chilled to the bone." WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent work, Tim. Most inspirational!

Life is full of tests and challenges. Sticking with a task is needed until we achieve the goal for which we strive.

The rhythm (iambic tetrameter) and rhyme (a-b-a-b) are consistent throughout and well written.

There's not much to add, except WRITE ON!
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Review of Winter  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done. Emotionally warm, gentle, tender, yet somehow sad. The two clues I saw were the photo attached to the poem and the phrase, "and it was empty," lead me to a couple of conclusions. First, the poem refers to a faithful fur baby pup, who has died. Secondly, it could refer to a child or children who have left home. Hence, the "empty nest."

The first possibility seems more likely, since a child is never mentioned. If that is the case, I am so sorry for I lost a dog, who was a longtime, faithful friend, last year in April.

I have no grammatical suggestions to make, since this poem is well-written, touching the heart. WRITE ON!
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Review of First Tanka  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Snaps on this excellent offering in the tanka form.

I write a lot of haikus, but not so many tankas.

You have created a great, peaceful moment for the reader. Time alone on the beach is a gift. Sunrise or sunset alone on the beach is exquisite.

You should write more of these. The syllables are 5-7-5-7-7. Well done. Thanks for the reminder.

Thanks for mentioning the Lord. I'm glad you know Him as your personal Savior. Me, too.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing from the heart, Marvilla.

This piece was hard to read. I have no doubt it was hard to write.

We certainly have some connection points. We are both PKs (Preacher's Kids). Both our fathers served during the Korean Conflict. Both served in prison ministries after their years of service to their country. Both were flawed, not fully knowing what their children needed from them.

"Stuffing Self because preacher's kids don't act that way," I certainly understand. We were spared some forms of abuse, but we fully understand other types. Dad didn't get as far as yours did with the physical abuse because my lasting spanking at age nine changed something in me, and I became much more compliant and hidden.

There is much to honor about our dads, but much to grieve, too. I'm glad that in Christ we can forgive them. You're right, we must forgive ourselves, too.

Not much to talk about grammatically, but I believe the word "aides" was intended to be "aids."

Thanks for sharing your memory of your Dad.

Blessings Always.

Jay
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Review of WIND  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent, Monty. Pithy. So much loss, strongly felt. Brings back memories of living in the Oklahoma Panhandle and the fear I felt when a tornado warning was sounded. "A tornado has touched the ground!"

Consistent structure of tercet verses, flowing rhythm, and a-a-x rhyme scheme. The last line of each tercet "tips the hat" to the title.

WRITE ON!
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Review of The River Of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is amazing. Well done.

I confess that prose poetry often leaves me cold because it is hard to do well, but this example did just that. As I read these two paragraphs, I heard rhythm, like poetry, though a rhyme scheme I could not find.

The phrases framed the images like pictures in an art gallery, adding to the poetry element, that kept the reader diverted away from typical prose.

The message is clear. "We start life with rough edges, but life has a way of smoothing off that roughness, until we reach our last day."

WRITE ON!
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Review of Nothing But Dirt  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, Marvilla. This is almost a praise song. The Lord can certainly make something of us that we could never make of ourselves. In Jeremiah, the prophet went down to the potter's house to watch the potter work. One vessel became marred, and he had to pummel it back into a lump to start over. That's the part of the process that is no fun, but The Lord accomplishes all His Holy Will without stopping to ask our permission because He is The Lord.

Well said, Sis! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a gift!

This is a great poem, Dave. This is well said in the small format. Grief leaves a hole never filled. They are honored, never forgotten. Still friends, always missed.

I hope these are not too many words. The poem is almost too sacred to comment on. I'm remembering my own griefs, processing these, and taking in the wisdom of your skill.

God has given us a great outlet. Thanks for sharing, my Friend and our Leader. During my days on Writing.Com you have taken the place of my high school English Lit teacher, both of you are now mentors and friends.

Blessings Always.

Jay (aka "Stan")
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent work, Spiritual Dawning. Heartfelt and full of encouragement. Blessings Always.
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Review of The Holy Temple  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spiritual Dawning, this poem seeks to point the reader to the Lord in so many ways. It is consistent in this focus.

The A-A-B-B rhyme scheme is maintained throughout with verse two's B lines written in poetic license, which I am wont to do as well when it helps the thought.

The rhythms of each line are encased in tetrameter, using an interesting mix of iambic and anapestic feet.

The lone question mark caused me to stumble momentarily, regarding the meaning of the word order, but I agree, that the Lord is hard to express in human words.

To know the Lord, and even more incredible, for Him to know us is the greatest of all human states.

Poetry from the heart! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It would be nice to know the number of words each winner got.
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for entry "Week 38 - Stripes" Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Encouraging, AmyJo. Write on.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW! My neck now needs a massage. That was definitely a whiplash piece of writing. I hope you got to school without being too late. I'm wondering if your tummy was growling like mine would have been because I didn't hear anything about breakfast, and I need breakfast without fail.

"Middle Schooler," hmmm? I think this has to be a memory from the info in your Bio. I think middle school is a challenging time for every human being. I know my middle school years were.

Excellent writing! Here's a thought. You might want to consider paragraphs unless the run-on effect was a creative choice. If that's the case, then you nailed it!

Keep Writing!

Blessings Always!
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