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Review of The Flawed Gods  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I decided to review your work, after having read your "rant" in the newsfeed.

Here is what I thought about your story as it reads now:
The hero or would he be called an "anti-hero" has lived too long. He has seen too much. Can be problematic being immortal. I would say that he doesn't have any feeling other than the morbid self pity of "no one understands me", if indeed he feels at all. J'on has a huge chip on his shoulder. If he is so uncaring, then why bother with trying to help anyone at all?

The voice that he talks to...a machine? Elsie. Kind of like an evolved "Suri"? This is an interesting concept - an AI that knows how to pause and wait to give a response.

A couple of thoughts come to mind as I continued to read. J'on seems dispassionate, almost clinical. He doesn't even interact with the female that he rescued from the thugs. I am curious to see what event would "rock" his world. You don't state the calendar year for this story, but you do hint at J'on's beginnings in Greece. Is J'on a god, or a very long-lived mortal looking for redemption? I'd like to know what drives him, how he started out, and why he's become so jaded.

I hope you find an out from your writer's block, and would like to continue to read more of this story.
Thank you for sharing.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work. Once again, Happy WdC Anniversary!

*Cake* My first impression: What an interesting take! Your "tween" self interviewing your "older" self. You certainly do not disappoint!

*Cake2* Other thoughts:I like the "voice" you give to the young Tracey. Excited, some disbelief, and a bit of impatience thrown in for good measure. The voice of the "present" Tracey sounds just like you should...cautioning, giving sound advice, and telling the young Tracey to remember to reach out for God.

*Cake* My favorite parts: The disbelief of being a grandma...that is out of the scope of most young people today. They are so caught up in their own little world, that the idea of being a parent, let alone being a grandparent just "rocks" their world off it's axis.

*Cake3* Some suggestions: The dialog was smooth and easy to follow. Of course, I would love some of the backstory, but then again I could be considered nosy. Inquiring Minds want to know *RollEyes*

*Cake* Overall: A well thought out and executed interview. I think it takes a little bit of talent to do something like this. You've nailed it on the head for sure!


sincerely,

amyjo

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Thank you for sharing your work. I am reviewing on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewer's Group.

*Owl3* Why I chose this work: First off, I want to wish you a Happy WdC Anniversary this month *Smile*. I am also doing a Power Raid, and Mad Dash...so here goes:

*Owl1* My thoughts on your writing: Death, especially a sudden death is nothing we are equipped to deal with, in my opinion. The despair, frustration and sadness are more than we can cope with on our own. I like how you call upon God's strength to not only cope, but to be able to get past the mind and heart numbing pain of loss and the grief.

*Owl2* I'm curious about: Was it just the writing challenge with the word prompts that caused this poem to be formed, or was it a personal trial of sorts? It sounds very "heart-felt" to my thinking.

*Owl3* Overall: A wonderfully written poem, about a very hard path that we all make when we are involved in the business of living. I enjoy your poetry, and derive a comfort in it. I appreciate your sharing this with me.

sincerely,

amyjo

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Thank you for letting me read your poem.

I can almost hear the homesickness in the narrator's voice as I read your lines. Wishing you could go home, perhaps, but knowing that you are where you are for a reason.

I am curious about why you've chosen a "paper boat". Is it like the tiny boats used to put to sea as a "memorial" or are you thinking of letters in the mail? Just curious. I could see the poem using either interpretation.

I enjoyed reading your poem. Other than the one word, I found no other typos or grammar issues in your writing. The flow was smooth, and using the same opening line on each verse made me wonder as to the interpretation you used for that sailboat.

A suggestion: To the place I once belong.{/} perhaps you meant belonged?

Keep up the good job with your writing. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work. Happy WdC Anniversary!

*Cake* My first impression: Despair and sadness, able to swallow someone even in the midst of a busy, seemingly uncaring crowd.

*Cake2* Other thoughts: You write in vivid terms. I have seen this loneliness and have had those silent tears, so I can relate on an emotional level to your writing. The suffocation, unrelenting void that seems impossible to span. It is a private hell, and so very hard to escape; for some, escape isn't possible in this life.

*Cake* My favorite parts: The last two lines especially hit home, with the lonely tears that never go away.

*Cake3* Some suggestions: I have no suggestions on how to improve your writing here. You've spelled it out precisely. It was well thought out and executed. I saw no grammar issues or typos in your work.

*Cake* Overall: A well done poem about the depression, and its ensuing partners, loneliness and hidden tears. Thank you for sharing this. I wonder if this is something telling: if you or someone close to you has fallen prey to this despair.


sincerely,

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work. I will be reviewing for the Anniversary reviews as well as the Mad Dash.

*Cake* My first impression: I believe that you have a wonderful fantasy in the making. You have brought the characters to life, and I can feel the evil oozing from Vergris as I continued reading. Then on the opposite side of the spectrum, you have Raynar and Azriel. Young and innocent caught up in the fight between good and evil.

*Cake2* Other thoughts: I have enjoyed reading what you've written so far. You paint this fantasy world in vivid colors, and it is easy to picture the scenes you have laid out thus far.

*Cake* My favorite parts: The condescension of Vergris in his thoughts about those Wizards. You could almost see the disdain that he has for them. Then I enjoyed the apparent friendship and comrade-re between Raynar and Azriel.

*Cake3* Some suggestions: (Keep in mind, these are only my opinions) I did have a question with the following sentence: It has been almost eighteen years since then and since peace his crowning, peace had reigned. I didn't really understand how to read it, especially the highlighted phrase. Perhaps you might take out the word peace before "his crowning"?
I know it is only a prologue, but I am also interested in finding out more about the familiar/companion to Vergris.

*Cake* Overall: I am ready for more! You got the beginning down, and I cannot wait to see where this may go. I look forward to more from this story and from you as well. Thanks again for sharing such an interesting world.


sincerely,

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Review of Virtue  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work.

*Cake* My first impression: The first thing that struck me when I looked at your poem, Virtue, was the opposite way you portrayed the seven virtues. The same number as the sins, but even the way you've laid out the poem...opposite side of the page.

*Cake2* Other thoughts: When I look at both lists, I see how easy it would be to fall in the "middle" of either list, not completely virtuous, nor completely sinful.

*Cake* My favorite parts: Again, it is hard to choose a favorite. Each virtue has its own merit, and can stand alone. I think that the virtues are by far harder to achieve, as it is always easier to take the sinful path. The virtuous path is harder and takes more discipline, but the rewards are eminently better in the long run.

*Cake3* Some suggestions: Once again, no typos or grammar issues. The flow of the verses was smooth. You've shown both sides of the argument in the sin/virtue behaviors. This was definitely well thought out and executed.

*Cake* Overall: I enjoyed reading both of your poems from beginning to end. I hope to snoop around your portfolio more in the future. Great Job!


sincerely,

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Review of Sin  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work.

*Cake* My first impression: The seven deadly sins...that is quite the topic for your poem. I will want to read the companion piece Virtue afterward to see the similarities and differences in your styles.

*Cake2* Other thoughts: You've labeled these sins and their consequences with great style. While this is a free-form poem, the rhythm and rhyme flows smoothly and has a nice bouncy feel to it.

*Cake* My favorite parts: I am having a hard time choosing a favorite part or verse. Each could stand on its own with it's own warning. You've done a great job throughout the entire poem.

*Cake3* Some suggestions: No typos or grammar issues that I found. I really couldn't offer any suggestions, other than I am surprised that this doesn't have an award attached to it.

*Cake* Overall: Wonderful wording. Smooth flow. Excellent descriptions and heedful warnings. I enjoyed reading your poem, and will look at your companion piece as well. Happy WDC Anniversary this month, too!


sincerely,

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun* "PDG Rockin' Reviewer's Group" *Sun*


Hi Crissy Author Icon

Thank you for sharing this item:
 
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Love Flowers at Midnight Open in new Window. (E)
The birth of new love. A couple has a magical encounter at a ball.
#2068689 by Crissy Author IconMail Icon


*Sun* Why I chose this work to review:This review comes as part of The Challenge, to review something with the word LOVE in the title. The title caught my attention, and I wanted to see what it was about.

*Sun* What I liked about your piece: Very "Jane Austen" like in mannerisms at a formal ball. An era long gone, but not entirely forgotten, especially for those who are romantic at heart *Smile*. I enjoyed the way you described the costume that the lady was wearing, and the manners that the gentleman and the lady both exhibited: the bow and the curtsy. The dance you describe in your words I take to be a waltz. "Bodies drift together slow". An excellent description.

*Sun* How I felt about it: This reached out for the romantic in me. How I wish some things were still like that! It tugged at my heart strings, and his "stealing a kiss" was even sweetly written. A far cry from the in your face "hookups" of nowadays.

*Sun* Suggestions: I loved the simplicity of your non-rhyming poem. The flow was easy and smooth. I saw no typos or grammar issues in your writing. I could find nothing with which to improve upon your writing. I wonder what inspired you to write such a sweet poem? Are you a fan of the Pride and Prejudice era? I'd love to know more about the backstory of your writing *Smile*.

*Sun* Overall: A well thought out and executed poem. Romantics will enjoy the little story you've brought about in your poetry. The dancing, the graciousness with with you've described is utterly divine in my opinion. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. Your words were captivating. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

sincerely,
amyjo
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Review of Dark Cloud  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Jimminycritic Author Icon Thank you for sharing this work
Dark Cloud Open in new Window. (13+)
Personification of a cloud.
#2074133 by Jimminycritic Author IconMail Icon


*PenR* Why I chose to review this work: I am reviewing your work for the "Smiling Skies" contest.

*PenR* My first impression: Wow! I had never thought about a cloud in that manner before. I was completely hooked into reading your story, even with the little bit of digression, and I could not stop reading until the end of the tale.

*Penr* What I thought about your personification: I usually associate the anger and raging that you talked about with the wind or the lightning. The phrasing "I am God", so displayed in the the cloud's thinking is brilliantly appropriate. That you associate the cloud's anger from having "taken the life" of the white cloud, and thereby going insane - Well, it is very appropriate and could easily be portrayed in a person. Curiosity, obsession, death, am I or am I not God? the insanity...talk about a Criminal Minds episode!

*PenR* Some suggestions I have: I saw no grammar issues or typos in your writing. The digression, which is so "human" wasn't pushed too far, as to get off topic. I have nothing really to suggest to improve your writing. I can say that as far as I have read, this is a completely unique writing, from an interesting point of view.

*PenR* Overall: I may never look at clouds the same way again. I have always looked at them as friendly little puffs, turning into various shapes. In Texas, to see a cold front move across the sky, with an ominous line is something to behold. But even then, I never thought about the anger that might be expressed through a cloud's point of view...the "sucking in of the white cloud" also made me think of the energy that might spawn a tornado, but again, it put me in mind how the wind might be the aggressive energy. Your writing has made me rethink how I might again view the weather, and your "humanizing" of the cloud, in my opinion was "spot on"! Thank you for sharing such a unique story, and good luck in the Personification contest.


sincerely,

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A review for the *Sun* PDG Rockin' Reviewer's Group *Sun*
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Review of The Dance Of Dis  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A very interesting story within your poetry. Vivid imagery dances in my mind, just like the "lost souls" dancing around the fire. Thank you also for the definition of "DIS". That was very helpful, and also pretty much confirmed what I was thinking as I was reading. I saw no typos or grammar issues with your writing. Nice phrasing of your poem, and the flow was pretty smooth. Good luck in the 2nd chance contest!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Bangaround  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your poem. It is an interesting way to have an argument with yourself...I feel the frustration coming from the words you have written. Being your own worst enemy is probably an issue for more people than we can even imagine. I saw no typos or grammar issues with your writing. Good Luck with the 2nd Chance Poetry contest!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Metamorphosis  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your Triolet poem. I also like how you've explained what a triolet is and give a link for more clarification if needed.
An interesting read, and I like how you liken shedding of clothing and stress to that of a butterfly escaping the chrysalis (or cocoon).
I saw no grammar issues or typos in your writing. Good Luck in the 2nd chance contest.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading your poem. It made me long for the coming Spring...I am soooo ready!
I like they way you painted the scenery in my mind, and could almost smell the wildflowers as the gentle spring breezes waft through the meadow.
Quite a lovely picture.
I saw no typos or grammar issues with your writing. Good luck with the 2nd chance contest!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Crazy Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
An interesting, yet definitely one-sided romance. When first reading it, I thought perhaps it was going to be a sci-fi story. Intriguing dialog drew me in from the beginning, and I laughed out loud to read the ending line. Clever writing!
I saw no grammar issues or typos in your work. It was a pleasure to read, and I am glad that you've shared this work. I found it looking through the Romance genre for something to review. Thanks for the laugh this morning *Smile*!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'm surprised that I haven't reviewed this forum before now! I have really enjoyed my blogging time here. I love the daily prompts, and having fun reading other's takes on that same prompt, but with a totally different take on it. There is a reason this is so popular and a long-running forum. May it continue on for as long as there is a Writing.Com!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a fun and informative forum. I like that we have the opportunity to review and discuss movies and books here on Writing.com. I cannot get over how many reviews some people have*Shock2*! It is also interactive, which is great.
Thank you for having such a great forum.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your work.

*Cake* My first impression: You have quite the collection of c-notes! Almost anything I could think to use. One stop shopping *Smile*

*Cake2* Other thoughts: Your c-notes are colorful and sweet. They tug at the heart and some bring a smile to my face.

*Cake* My favorite parts: I sent a "Thinking of You" note to a friend, as I thought it would be rude to review and not purchase something...lol

*Cake3* Some suggestions: I found nothing to suggest to improve your shop. I'd love to have something like this to set up one day.

*Cake* Overall: Keep up the great job! I'm happy to have found your little shop, and I also want to wish you a Happy WDC Anniversary this month.


sincerely,

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nicely done! You followed the prompt, and I like the way you portray the battle of the blank page! I also like how you've given out hope that every so often the "beast" is bested. Thank you for sharing your poem. I believe you've done a great job with it. I saw no typos or grammar issues, and I enjoy the centering of your poem - it makes the words stand out that much more to me. Good luck with the Construct! Keep up the great writing *Smile*!

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Dancing Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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What a beautiful poem. The love and tenderness of such a solemn occasion shown in such detail. The openness of the heart, the exchange of the words. I loved reading this poem. The promise of a wonderful future, and the words "captured the barest of my soul" struck a chord deep within me. Thank you for sharing your heart, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Stacy's Poem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Ouch! You paint the pain in such a vivid way. Broken glass shards, both painful and cutting...leaving your heart to bleed and your emotions ragged. Knowing there was nothing to do but to hurt, both you and the object of your love. The pain felt by both makes me want to cry. The hopelessness of the situation, "left me with your nothing". The emptiness and futility shows through. I cannot imagine such pain, even though love has dragged me through the mire at times.
I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Thank you for sharing your poem. You have a wonderful way of painting your words. I am reviewing this completely on an emotional level. I really enjoyed reading this. "A ball of light" captures their innocence aptly. I also agree with you message that children are something to "cherish" and not "destroy". I sense the weariness, but also the hope that one day we will love our children as a society and not treat them like something disposable. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of New Years Changes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Bravo! And excellent goal to work for in the New Year. Very upbeat and positive point of view here. The narrator understands that there are some issues, but is not going to let the issues come between her and what she wants. The flow is energetic and very positive in nature. I only spotted one typo, in the last line: her she comes!, I think you meant here she comes! Other than that I saw no grammar issues or typos. I think I might have broken it up into two paragraphs for break up the giant paragraph, but that is my opinion only.
If this is your year, then I commend you, and look forward to reading more of your work in the New Year. You do great things, and even though 2015 was an awful ending year, here is to 2016 and to power! Well done as always, my friend.

sincerely,
amyjo
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Fear is Real  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Caitlin Washnock Author Icon Thank you for sharing this work
 Fear is Real Open in new Window. (E)
Fear is not only a emotion. It defies our actions, but can also show us what is important.
#2070824 by Caitlin Washnock Author IconMail Icon


*PenR* Why I chose to review this work:I enjoy reading Newbies and your title and description intrigued me. And having read your story, you did not disappoint. You are off to a very good start!

*PenR* My first impression:An excellent lesson on priorities and how skewing them can lead to loneliness. I also like how you had Liam learn that lesson, before it became a heart break to his family and his friends. How easy it is to focus so hard on the goal and miss the journey along the way.

*Penr* How I feel about this: I like how you showed Liam's tendency to blow off things that were once important to him. You clearly showed his lack of patience with his friend, and the disappointment in Bri's voice when he again tried to put her off.

*PenR* Some suggestions I have: I found no typing errors or grammar issues with your writing. I would have loved to see what Liam did to rectify his "standoffishness" with both his friend and his little sister. Other than that, well done!

*PenR* Overall: You painted a great picture with your words. I could picture the scenes in my mind clearly. I enjoyed reading your story, and look forward to reading more of your work in the future.


sincerely,

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Review of In Loving Memory  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing a place that can be of comfort to those who have lost loved ones. Writing eases the burden some, although it can never completely heal it without time. This is also an interesting style, the "campfire". I appreciate the time it took to make this place of comfort.

sincerely,
amyjo

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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