An Acme Review ![Star *Star*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/star.png)
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What are my overall impressions?
These events are so fresh and have been condemned by all right thinking people. Your article is a good one; it details what happened in your city as seen from your unique point of view. I do have a few suggestions about how you can edit to improve its readability, but on the whole this is a solid piece of writing which gave me a good insight to the atrocities committed by these terrorists. The NSG commandos were instrumental in ending this horrific situation, and my heart goes out to India, and all those touched by this tragic event.
What are my favourite parts?
they wanted to injure India so badly that it would never recover economically, politically, psychologically or any other way. They wanted to do all that, and also demoralize every citizen of India. And, additionally, by hitting out at 5-star hotels, they wanted to hurt Americans, Israelis, and citizens from all over the world who had come to India to enjoy its wonderful hospitality. You sum up this section so well. Your words are carefully chosen and powerful. Good writing.
What are my suggestions?
While coloured text can add to a story, there is something a little odd about using pink for a serious article.
I think that by the time the moderators "pass" this article and publish it on the site Don't worry, Dr T, the Moderators follow site guidelines, so that if you are posting this item correctly, in terms of writing guidelines and content ratings, you will be fine. The 13+ rating seems appropriate, but you may want to read site literature regarding the E rating you have given the title and introduction.
asked the government of India to "stop atrocities" and "release all Moslems" from their grasps within jails or incarceration sp = grasp. No need to pluralise as you are indicating the the government (singular)
with whomever they wanted.
In my next article, along double return spacing required.
However, I am quite sure almost all readers already know how the events occurred. It all started with an assault at the C.S.T. railway station on the night of 26th November. Most readers will be glad of the recap to events, and my be reading your article to become familiar with how things happened.
The terrorists then probably proceeded . . . all bombs probably activated by remote mobile-phone triggered detonators. Who says this is probable? As you go into vaguer details and supposition it can be a good idea to quote your sources. It means that if facts come to light to alter these facts, your whole article doesn't suffer from a lack of authenticity. I know your opening article says you have done all this research yourself, so show us where from, eg, Negotiation Experts, interviewed on ??? TV channel, say that the terrorists then probably proceeded...
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