Spoken like a truly dedicated nurse who loves her job, and her patients.
A lovely tribute in poem, Carlotta.
I feel the presentation would be more effective if it were separated into maybe 4 line stanzas.
The large type seems to give a crowded appearance.
The poem has enough strength on its own without the large print, I feel.
Well done, in your profession and in your writing.
Cheers Meg.
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Getting quite an in depth insight into just who Web~Witch is, aren't we?
Now we have this knowledge, it is so much easier to understand why you have such a compulsion to write.
Get it all off your chest, my dear!
There are a million or so ears out here waiting with baited breath to hear tales of your wonderful heritage and the stories you have to tell of your childhood.
Start Talking. But please keep to English. If you lapse into another language I may think it is something you picked up from The Flower of Italy.
Most entertaining.
Meg.
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Great story,with mystery and intrigue and ingenuity, and a great scheme of yours to beat the city heat!
I love the image you project of your massive brother decked out in all his glory in your bathrobe.
Mum was right, though. The contents of the kitchen always have something useful for every situation.
One thing still puzzles me though. Who owned the sneakers?
I shall be locking my bedroom window tonight! Just to be on the safe side.
Great story telling.
Keep them coming!
Meg.
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I just love stories told in rhyme.
When they are true stories, the words just seem to flow with an honesty and clarity that prose doesn't capture.
Well that's how I feel about ballad poetry anyway.
What a thrill for your Mum to meet Ms Jones!
She must have been in awe of the occasion!
Such lovely memories for her, and for you too.
Terrific rhyming and rhythmic flow to your story/poem.
Just my cup of tea. Thank you.
Cheers Meg.
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No wonder this won 1st prize!
It is full of mystery and intrigue and has the reader longing to know what happened? What will happen next?
You write well. To the point with just enough descriptive information to have the reader form a picture in his mind, without swamping the work with an overkill of sidetracks to describe a place or time or event.
Well done. It is a shame the picture cannot be reproduced on these entries. It would be interesting to see where your inspiration for the story came from.
A most enjoyable read.
Meg.
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I love Susan's sigs. She does a wonderful job and your sigs are a fine example.
Your bear from Rob is so cute. He is a nice fellow isn't he, Rob, I mean.
The 4th sig is great. Plain and simple but very effective.
I'm sure you enjoy using them all.
Cheers Meg.
The shortbread is yummy, thank you.
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5 points for a wonderfully enlightening story, and a million and 5 points for surviving 4 daughters in your family. I have 5 sons and one very precocious, sorry precious, daughter. Frills and fancy stuff was not on the agenda, she wanted to be one of the boys.
They may have left home, but believe me, THEY'LL BE BACK!!!!
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life!
Well written and most enjoyable.
Meg.
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I clearly remember the eruption of St Helen's all those years ago, Shirley.
Even here in Australia, it over rode all other programmes on television, and we sat glued to the set witnessing the devastion that was taking place.
Poems such as this one, serve as a dedication to those who lost their lives, and as a reminder of the savage force that nature possesses.
Well done.
Meg.
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Love certainly does change everything.
And when love comes later in life, when least expected, it is even more treasured.
To share your golden years with someone you love by your side is perfect love.
A wonderful poem, Shirley.
Your contentment shines through in your words.
Cheers Meg.
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Palms are my passion, Turps. (Actually they are the only plants I can grow successfully).
They stand tall and majestically in my back yard. 25 of them. All bearing the names of my grandchildren, proudly carved by the little dears themselves.
Our own Family trees.
Cheers Meg.
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Every breath of fresh air that blows on my cheek,
When I feel you're a long way from home,
I know it's your kiss and the touch of your hand,
And I don't seem so all on my own.
A stanza from "Invalid Item"
Hi Gerry, This is quite a brilliant oration you have spoken here. And you are not just simply using words again, but making a real and valid statement.
There are many lines that ring so true and would strike a chord in the hearts of those who are much too free and easy with their spoken words.
Joy,laughter and tears, jealousy, deceitfulness and truth, are all just words. It is what our hearts are really saying that God hears.
Well written,
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Robert,
A poem always has that extra special something when it is written from the perspective of the subject, in this case, the Cats.
There are many pieces written about how owners adore their pets, but I particularly like this slant on owner/pet relationship. It clarifies the true situation... "Our owners are pets that we adore."
I can guess how the pecking order works in your family. Your cats are definitely at the top!
Well written
Meg.
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Another great poem from the pen of Rob!
You have a few more years to really lose it all, Rob.
Believe me, it just keeps getting worse!
My excuse (and I'm sticking with it), is that I was so intelligent when I was younger, that I crammed so much into my brain, it overflowed. Now a few things have spilled out and I haven't any room left to put them back in!
I found a solution though."Invalid Item"
Cheers Meg.
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I'm so pleased I don't suffer with allergies or hay fever, Rob. I couldn't enjoy the sweet smells of nature.
This poem did give me a giggle, albeit at your sneezy expense!
I love the line Their blooming cause is everywhere. Great play on words here that adds to the flavour of the poem.
Well done.
Meg.
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Congratulations Rob.
To continue with a perfect rhyme and rhythm form of poetry while conveying such a sad and distressing tale of depression, takes great talent.
And you have displayed that great talent here.
You may consider joining "Invalid Item" .
Your poetic contributions would be most welcomed here by all members of the group.
ps. 2nd last line Depression's
Those apostrophes have a tendancy of slipping off the page occasionally.
Brilliant piece of work!
Meg.
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Oh LadyOz, This certainly brings back memories.
I think it was compulsory in the early 60's to have an "eventful" honeymoon.
We ventured to the "Sunshine Coast" North of Brisbane (before it was touristy). My uncle had offered his "holiday house" to us, (a fishing shack, no less). No power because a massive snake was coiled up in the meter box, and with the summer heat we left the doors open. This of course was an open invitation to a neighbour's horse to plod through in the middle of the night!
You were posh! We didn't have a car! We jumped on a bus and spent our week of bliss at the sister in law's place.
I must agree totally, though.
The skies were brilliant! That phenomenon still amazes me in the heavens away from the bright city lights.
Thanks for sharing your experience and giving me a trip down memory lane.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Belinda,
Your poems all seem to have a similar theme, so far.
I realise this may be because the subject is currently in your mind, and writing does help to ease any situation.
Try your hand at something completely different, as in your poem about "Grass". Also attempt different styles and forms of poetry so that your work becomes more varied and gives the reader a fresh look at your talent. And you do have a talent!
Work on a simple rhyming poem or a story put into poetry form, or something outlandishly humourous!
I hope I have been of some help to you, and haven't appeared too critical.
I look forward to chatting with you again.
Cheers Meg.
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This is quite good. Very descriptive imagery shown here.
Would clouds "drift" or "float" away rather than "run"?
Just my personal idea.
A little punctuation may help in the form of a few commas and full stops to pause the reader before going on to the next phase of the visual effect.
Well done.
Meg.
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Hi Belinda,
Sounds intriguing, and worthy of adding to.
I am not a novelist and don't read many books (I tend to stick wit my first love - poetry).
This statement as an introduction will certainly pique the interest of anyone who picks up the book(when it becomes a book, that is).
Maybe instead of being an opening paragraph, it could be a blurb on the cover or on a prologue page. Just a thought.
Being just a draft, I realise you would not have edited anything as yet, but on e spelling error does stand out. "too irresistible".
Also try "far too irresistible" in favour of "way".
I notice you have begun by using the present tense. Be aware of this, as it is very easy to lapse into past tense at times when writing a novel of any length.
So far, so good.
Keep writing.
Meg.
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Hi again, Belinda.
Another passionate poem of heartbreak and sadness.
Once again, I must point out the punctuation for effect.
Commas, full stops and dashes (or dots, as you have used after "Goodbye.....") will make all the difference. I felt the pause and emotion after "Goodbye" before reading "Forever" That was good placement of punctuation.
One teeny spelling mistake, however.
"to" should be "too", in the line:- "Do you love me too?"
It's just a personal preference, but I always put the title of the piece at the top of the poem as well.
If you ever print the poem out, it looks better to have the title up there where it introduces the poem.
Well done with a lot of emotion!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Belinda,
This is a sad plea from a girl with a broken heart.
Your feelings come through in your words and I'm sure a lot of readers would be nodding their heads in agreement .... "I've been there too", or "I know how you feel".
You have no spelling or grammatical errors, which is always a plus in presentation.
Now the "but"! and there always is a but.
But, punctuation is vital in poetry to allow the reader to know when extra pauses and emphasis is needed. A few commas and full stops will add emphasis.
Keep writing. You have something to offer.
Cheers Meg.
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Perfect! Even in Australia, the favourite pastime is FOOD!
I worked at an Old People's Home for many years and we, the staff, actually did a version of the Twelve Days similar to this, in one of our frequent impromptu concerts. However the diets of folk 80 and over is quite different. There were bowls of pureed steak and blood pressure pills, and not to be forgotten by an aging digestive system :- FIVE DRIED UP PRUNES!
Thanks for the sing-a-long. The neighbours think I'm crazy! (I think I am anyway, so it doesn't matter what they think)
Cheers Meg.
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Wow! What a trip down memory lane!
You have certainly put a lot of time and effort into your research here, and it is greatly appreciated.
As a young housewife in the early 60's, I did try on occasions to dress the part of a TV housewife, but a pretty dress does get ruined while one is cleaning the bathroom, and high heels are just not suited for carrying a full laundry basket down a flight of stairs. (not elegantly, anyway).
Thank you for this interesting and informative insight into how we women have progressed on the home and work front, and for the delightful trip down memory lane.
Well written.
Meg.
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