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368 Public Reviews Given
677 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and critical reviews offered. I look at all components of story-telling: setting, dialogue, characterization, conflict and resolution. I will not generally do a line-by-line edit, though I will point out minor errors. If a piece needs a complete rewrite for grammar and spelling I will tell you so. I do not sugar-coat. I try to be insightful and will offer honest suggestions where I think are necessary.
Favorite Genres
horror, comedy, romance, erotica, drama, emotional
Least Favorite Genres
spiritual or religious
Public Reviews
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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A poem in which the author laments a desire to be able to fix various qualities of the world, and the problems of the people in it. There is something of realization here, almost like coming out of a therapy session with the knowledge that one cannot fix the hurt of the world, only control what role they personally play in the world. My favorite aspect of this poem is the wisdom in relinquishing control that it surmises, a giving in to only being a person of love. A free verse poem, this piece could maybe benefit from some use of imagery, simile or metaphor to make it more colorful.


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Review of Leopard  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
A rhyming poem in aa bb format, it is almost in couplets though couplets generally have the same amount of syllables per line and this poem does not. RHythm could may be slightly improved if the same syllables did exist per line, but it reads with a certain amount of rhythm as it, and the author does a good job with the rhyming. A nature poem that pays tribute to the leopard and his various activities. The first line, that is a summation of his activities is my favorite line, it opens like an active introduction to the poem.
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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem in which the author states they have something to bring someone, mourns the loss of not doing so, and then comes to the conclusion that they should bring whatever they are inspired to bring on the day it is thought of, should the opportunity never come again. It begs of the reader to appreciate a moment in time, as opposed to overthinking what tomorrow may bring. A free verse poem, this has an almost lyrical quality that reminds me of the 16th century madrigals we used to sing in choir, it has a classic feel to it. I love how it begins one way then turns to another viewpoint--that the author never brought flowers, etc, and learns a lesson in the poem. Well done.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's a lot of work to put a reading into a poem, for sure. You did a great job with that one. I'm not actually too surprised by those cards. They've come up in my own readings I do for myself. I do feel like you've got some personal insight in to me now though which is a weird feeling lol. Thank you for taking the time to do this for me--I am mildly obsessed with Tarot readings.
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Review of Let Me Go  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A fun poem that brings to mind being youthful and playing at the park. Written in abb cdd format, you did a good job with the form and rhyme. My favorite part of this poem is it's simplicity--it's like it emulates the simplicity of childhood which the poem expresses a desire for--which I find pretty clever.


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Review of The first light  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A baeutifully descriptive poem about the early morning just as the sun is rising. You paint a vivid image of the dawning day with your words. My favorite aspect of this poem is just how descirptive it is in general. I felt like you were taking me on a little ride through the location, seeing and hearing the awakening of all of nature after the night dies. A free verse poem with no seet rhyme or meter, the poem just depends on the nature of the language for its beauty. A very pleasant uplifting poem.


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Review of Making a Haven  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Just a little slice of description about finally owning a home of one's own. There is a sense of past troubles, and that there was a lack of permanence in the past that has now been overcome. The house represents a new start, a beginning that can be trusted, hence being able to hand a piicture after nine years, becing able to unwrap the treasures for the china cabinet. This is a good descriptive little piece, and definitely feel like I can envision the room portrayed.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
A poem that seems to move through time, with references to childhood. But it is a childhood that cannot be rediscovered by the man, it is passed. And in the end, those magic moths have eaten the mind of the elder, leaving holes perhaps, but at least "truth eaten". A whirlwind of a poem. My favorite part is the slow,undulating wings--I can picture them.
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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting poetic form, I have not seen this one before. A poem that seems to be about the virus that keeps us all locked away while waiting for proper leadership that is failing us. I liked how you change what kind of tears were shed with each repeating line. My favorite stanza is the fourth one that is about being blinded by false beliefs. The poem flows well and has a good rhythm, excellent use of rhyme. I wish I could disagree with your assessment of the situation this poem paints, but it is far too accurate I'm afraid. You did a good job of portraying current events in poetic form.


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Review of Last Day  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem about pondering how things in the world are changing, and how one can view the world if death was on the horizon. You express a desire for things to be okay. "I seem to know how, enlighten the strange" sounds cool, but it through me off. Probably just my bad, but I don't get it compared to the rest of the poem. I like the reference to the spirit everlasting and its being a separate thing from the body. My favorite part of the poem is the last two lines, although this is a sonnet, and you have the ten syllables in every line but the last. I think you could remove the word "it's" from the last line and it would still work but keep it in consistency with the syllable count.


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Review of Ignition  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A poem about writing as told through the metaphor of a forge. In real life I work I own a pottery business, so I am enthralled by your choosing to use a craft like a forge as representation of your work. I have lots of respect for crafts of all kinds. I like how it begins by talking about what it's like to not be writing--except for just that spark that is needed to fan the flames eventually. And then the flames rise and it seems to take on an all-consuming power/desire.
This is a strong rhyming poem with an extending abab format. It reads aloud well, although the rhythm is off on one line where you only have five syllables instead of the six you have in every other line:
Now I’ll be your guide,
to stick to the six syllable rule you've established you could just change it to
Now I will be your guide,

A solid poem with a cool metaphor.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like how in this almost every line rhymes the same and the lines in between the stanzas rhyme like in their own refrain. It's a fun silly poem, where you introduce the community to your name, showing a penchant for rhyme and a desire for fame. I even laughed out loud at the country twang. I relate you what your saying, about writing to keep sane.


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Review of The Nectar Thief  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem that is a mini-dialogue between the subject, a hummingbird, and the author. There is no set form to this poem, although it is a rhyming poem, which you do a good job with. It isn't particularly rhythmic. I like how you present both perspectives in this poem. I especially like the second stanza--the language is almost dizzying and feels fast, like the hummingbird itself. I think you did it deliberately with your descriptions of the movements, and it gives the whole stanza a feeling of movement.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem about Sue, who knits all day and night as a cure for her anxieties. Her worries become lessened as she focuses on her craft. This poem has a great rhyme to it, and a rhythm as well. I reads well aloud. How mental visitors are "set aside to mind their manners" is my favorite part. The tribute to how a craft can be a source of meditation is great.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a delightful little rhyming poem in abcbdd format about how a girl's life is changed through learning to knit, how it gives her purpose and a creative outlet. my favorite part is the shout out at the end, this poem makes me feel happy.
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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
The story of Jason, a man who ruined his previous marriage and relationship with his daughter because of his alcoholism. He is lured out to a New Year's Eve party and the story follows his struggle with sobriety.

The setting is at first at the office and then at the sports bar. Mainly at the bar. You don't offer a lot of a description, rather depending on your audience to be familiar with what a sport's bar is. You could add a sentence or two just to engage the senses a little.

Grammar and spelling are excellent, I could find no errors.

Dialogue is minimal. What there is consists of the words exchanged between Michelle and Jason. What dialogue there is goes to help define Michelle as a character, or at least that she is inebriated. You do a good job with this, which leads me to characterization.


The two main characters are Jason and Michelle. Michelle comes off as being conservative at work, but a little party animal at the bar. She is drunk and kind of obnoxious, which serves to help Jason see her as possibly being in his league--if only he could get over his anxiety. This is a character driven story written in the past tense third-person limited pov from Jason's perspective, and you've done a great job of flushing out his character. I know his history, I know his struggles, I'm invested in him as a character.

This is what makes the ending so hard. The story's conflict is Jason's internal struggle to stay sober at the bar, when everyone else, and particularly his love interest are drinking and having a good time. In the end the story is resolved when he gives in to his desires. And we know of course that in the case of alcoholics like Jason, this could be a long unfortunate road indeed.

I felt the ending was satisfying because it's just so honest and likely.

Overall a great story, I really enjoyed it.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem lamenting the loss of the popularity of classic musicians, and wishing for the end of modern rock music and its squealing guitars and obnoxious noise. The poem opens by giving a visual of a concert that is loud with a frantic crowd. I like how you engage the sense of sound and sight.

The poem is written in sonnet form, and you do an excellent job with it, it has a fantastic rhythm,and your use of rhyme is very good. There are a couple of lines that deviate from the 10 syllable count however:

of all those oldies which are not same = perhaps try
of all those oldies which are not the same

l walk among screaming mass and cringe. =
I walk among the screaming mass and cringe

Perhaps you meant to put the word "the" in those sentences and they're just typos, maybe not, but I think they work better with the additions and it brings you to the ten syllable word count.

Overall I enjoyed this poem. I thought it was fun.


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Review of Soliloquy  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A fun poem about a little girl's pretend performance for her toys. I really liked this as it brought me back to a couple of times in my life--my own daughter, adn even my own childhood. A rhyming poem in abcb format, this is great to read aloud. It has a pretty good rhythm, but there are parts that could be edited for better flow. For example:
Her name would be mentioned for many miles away --
Her name would be mentioned for miles away
Says the same thing but keeps the rhythm better. Same with:
and Melissa's trek to the 'red carpet' was adjourned.
and Melissa's trek to the 'red carpet' adjourned.

Just suggestions of course. It's delightful poem.


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Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Okay, this was a great deal of fun. I really enjoyed all your descriptions of what go into the recipe. I actually laughed aloud several times while reading this. I think it's fun that you made a poem of all kinds of nonsense ingrediants. I especially liked the third stanza, "grandma's secret truffle cave dew".

You have quite a knack for this kind of poetic tale-telling. Have you considered publishing children's books?

Next you put it blender for an hour. = in a blender?
Grandma hoped the Penny was listening. = hoped that


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Review of Jonah  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A chanting, lyrical poem expressing the love for one's child. You drew me right in with the delightful alliteration and rhyme in the first stanza. The second stanza is somber, "swallowed whole by silence" is a beautiful but frightening line. The whole stanza speaks to the mysteries of autism.

I like your optimism in the poem, as is summed up in the final stanza. That even with the spinning inward and the silence there is still much to explore and the love is exponential and eternal.

The flow and rhythm and rhyme to this make it an absolute delight to read aloud, and doesn't detract from the emotionality of the piece at all as too much rhyming sometimes does. Excellent writing.


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Review of In the Beginning  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow I love this. It takes me back to when I lived where there were seasons (obvious ones I should say, not Florida). I like how it's told through the vision of the cat . . . it follows him as he experiences the tentativeness of the spring. You really engage the senses in this one, bringing the yard to life in such a way that I can totally visualize it. Free verse, but here and there you use bits of alliteration that add to the read, especially when read aloud.

Overall this is a perfect poem, as vibrant as the season you promise.


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Review of Lunar Phase  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What can I say? It's so hard to review haiku's because they are so short lol. But this is a true haiku, in proper form. I like the use of the sense of sound by referring to dogs howling. I like the first line the most, it has a sense of continuity of nature in it. Summed up nicely with the full moon. A perfect haiku. Well done.


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Review of A Love For Me  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem about longing for love. It begins in a dreamy way, with the author's visions of the past. It goes into suppositions over how the author has failed in love before, returning to relationships, chasing relationships that shouldn't have been. It seems to imply the loss of a recent relationship in the third stanza, and a desire to begin again with someone new, a true love. My favorite line is the reference to "the bone of my bone" a stark beautiful line.

And men has come back home from work, = have

Overall a very good poem, I enjoyed the language and presentation of ideas.


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Review of Shush  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Okay, I am going to be upfront and state that I am too entirely sure what this poem is about. In the first couple stanzas it brought to mind youth painting graffiti. Then something seems to go terribly awry and our subject is dying, subject to chest compressions that do not save them.

I am fascinated by your choice to rhyme the first words of every line instead of the last. I'm not sure if that's a specific form. I tried to google it to no effect. If not, and it's just something you were inspired to do, accolades for coming up with something fresh in poetry! It's new to me. The piece has a great rhythm when read aloud, and an almost whispering effect because of those beginning rhymes.

Your language is vibrant and very descriptive, really seducing the senses. This is an absolutely wonderful poem that I really enjoyed. It was a challenge and beautifully composed. well done.


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Review of The Bird  Open in new Window.
Review by jabberwocky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A captured bird who struggles and eventually is rescued by another bird, before they fly off together. The rhyme and rhythm of this poem sis absolute perfection. It just rolls off the tongue when read aloud. The language is visual, and the poem tells a story that presents a conflict that is resolved, and that's always cool. My favorite lines are in the last couplet, particularly "and flew out to creation's edge". A wonderful poem, excellently composed. I have no suggestions for improvement.


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