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Review Requests: ON
1,190 Public Reviews Given
1,191 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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551
551
Review of Bizarre  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't know much about poetry but this is my kind of thing. I like the absence of flowery language, the bald statement of truths learned so painfully, the matter-of-factness of the whole poem. It's beautiful in its simplicity and depth. The line, "recalled that I liked violets" is achingly superb.

I only wonder whether the young will understand at all.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
552
552
Review of Lie to Me  
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like this, although I'm not sure I agree with the sentiments expressed. Still making up my mind.

It's a clever poem and the idea of using the various trades to illustrate how the truth can be made acceptable is quite brilliant. I love the lines: "Crushed false and mixed with a pinch of deception.
Added to a bowl of pounded disguise and brought to the boil over a burning flame", although I think a comma is needed after "Crushed".

The whole thing is quite masterfully done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
553
553
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was really interesting. I cannot see the connection between a baby's cry and a werewolf plot but I know that doesn't matter when it comes to inspiration. It's impossible to tie down. Sometimes we think we see the connections but are we correct? The next inspiration can so easily prove us wrong by being completely illogical in its source. A few weeks ago I sat down to write a story about a troll, even though I had no plot, no knowledge of what trolls are like or anything at all. And then it all poured out, as though it had been fermenting in my unconscious mind and was now ready. Inspiration is a truly strange thing but I want more of it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
554
554
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Powerful stuff. I don't know enough about poetry to be able to give you a proper review of this but I can function as a reader being affected by the words, experiencing what you say.

And that, surely, is what poetry is all about: the communication of feeling. Which is why your poem succeeds so well - it communicates. I think you know what you're doing and you do it well.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
555
555
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
No need to apologise - it's just good to find a place where I can join in the conversation. I know how much work is involved in running this sort of thing so I appreciate what you're doing.

Thanks for the prompt reply. *Smile*
556
556
Review of Hot Diggity Dog  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.0)
I see little that needs fixing with the writing apart from some minor tightening and typo correcting. The scene is well-painted and you communicate John's emotions well.

You do have a tendency to allow sentences to get longer and longer as you add detail. For instance, " It would be one thing if the man was here to rob him, that would still be fairly terrifying but John had been through that a few times, you didn't work this late at a shop in this part of town and not have that occur on occasion but this one wasn't here for money, he was here for John." Break it down into separate sentences that tell the same story but allow the reader to breathe. "If the man was here to rob him, it would still be fairly terrifying, but John had been through that a few times. You didn't work this late at a shop in this part of town and not have that occur on occasion. But this one wasn't here for money; he was here for John." Separating thoughts in this way also makes the writing more punchy - the reader will absorb more.

As I mentioned, there are a few typos that need attention. An example is "as indignant as he was inebeiated" (should be "inebriated"). A quick pass with a spell check, followed by a last edit, should deal with these.

Check to see that the rules of the contest allow editing before the closing date. Good luck!
557
557
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
An impressive tale with atmosphere and interest, it draws the reader from beginning to end. I particularly like the way I was fed snippets of information throughout, never becoming bogged down in detail but with understanding building steadily.

It's a shame that my enjoyment in reading the story was interrupted occasionally by a lack of editing. I'll list a few with my corrections added.

"the solution to her problem and the end to her quest; at least, that was what the fortune teller, Gypsy Rose, had said."

"Vera did not care about the motives of Gypsy Rose; all that Vera cared about..."

"her scar-covered face"

"The local constable had asked..."

"Vera had slipped in after the constable. When she saw what he was doing..."

"On her right, a bronze door was inscribed with the words, "City of Lost People".

These are all minor adjustments that are easily corrected. Overall, you have written a compelling tale of mystery.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
558
558
Review of An Old Mail Pouch  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.0)
An amusing tale told entirely through dialogue. So the dialogue had better be natural and believable - and it is. Flows nicely and the characters are well drawn and credible.

I am unsure about the capitals used to emphasize the words, "IT ... WAS ... AN ... ACCIDENT!" Is the exclamation point insufficient? Also, " Why can't you see that." needs a question mark.

This was an enjoyable read and you gave me a smile. Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
559
559
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece came along at just the right time for me. Use all the senses! Of course - so obvious and so forgotten, it's so important to writing and reading. Nothing recalls memory more powerfully than a scent or taste, how we need the communication of touch and the orientation of sound. Yet, being creatures of the written word, we live in the eyes, so dependent on what we see and allow the other senses to remain in the wings.

I must hurry away and write something sensible! Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
560
560
Review of Sprocket  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent. I really enjoyed this little story and felt that I was there with the characters. Sprocket is particularly attractive as a character.

The relationship between the characters is particularly well drawn and confirmed with the twist in the end. Everything worked well together and the reader is drawn steadily through the piece without hiccup. I can see no fault in the writing and wouldn't change a thing.

Altogether this an accomplished story that demonstrates skill in working within the restraints of flash fiction.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
561
561
Review of Limerick for Ren  
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I don't care - I'll give you a review and a rating. I like limericks.

And I like this one a lot, especially as it's done with good intent. Light, amusing and generous - what more could one want?

Thanks for brightening my day. :)
562
562
Review of Am I wrong?  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is very personal, so much so that it seems to me that it's not written for literary review at all. Anything said on that score would be irrelevant, I think.

So it comes down to my own reaction to the piece and there doesn't seem to be much that I can say except that you describe pretty much my own feelings - or lack of them - when considering my mother's death. The only thing I can suggest is that it's not uncommon to feel guilty for not feeling. In my experience, everyone will tell you that the grief will come, perhaps years after the event, and that may be true for you.

But it's been nearly twenty years for me and still nothing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
563
563
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Kinda cool, I like it, Ken,
And anyway, it's time to say
Amen.
Old fogies have to face the fact
We have three score and ten
And then
Small mercies granted us, I think,
If I can hear imperfectly
At least it'll be a while before in the earth I sink...

Actually, I read a few of your poems and I thought it was about time I paid my dues, especially since you asked for it. As you can see, I don't really write po'try. *Wink*
564
564
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.0)
Well, you made me laugh. Great little story, well written and an excellent twist in its tail.

Just a tiny edit needed: in the last line - "plastic pedals" should be "plastic petals". I worry also about "a sheet covered presumably the rare plants". It's a bit clumsy and would read better if you took out "presumably". Is it really neccessary? I think the reader can guess that the flowers are under the sheet.

Clever story, however and I like it a lot.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
565
565
Review of Day of Awakening  
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
An interesting read. I do wonder why you have rated it as Fiction, however. It seems to be biographical - of your son, according to your Author's Note. I know some things we write are difficult to fit within the categories offered but this piece would benefit from a re-think in that respect, I think.

As regards the politics in the piece, you didn't really expect me to declare my own opinions, did you? I'm far too cagey to let that one out of the bag... ;)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
566
566
Review of Full Moon Party  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.5)
Unsure where to go with this one. I suppose it all depends on what you want it to be. If it's a descriptive vignette, it's very beautiful, very celtic in its delight in the language, so ready to depart into the world of dreams. If it's a short story, the description becomes too much, a distraction from where we're going. Is it a part of something bigger you're writing? I think not, for the last lines are very suggestive of an ending.

I like it but that is thanks to the deliciousness of the words and says nothing about how effective it is regarding purpose. It all depends on where you're going with it...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
567
567
Review of The Talent Pond  
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Just one question: where's the survey I'm supposed to complete?
568
568
Review of The Pirate  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What a great story! The need for a parrot was totally unexpected but provided a sharp and amusing ending. Oh, to be a pirate now that summer is here...

I enjoyed the whole story but feel that the opening paragraphs are a bit too long and detailed for a modern audience. Some trimming would make them more effective in drawing the reader on.

The characters are well drawn and the dialogue natural and believable. Flow is a little slow to begin with, as I've said, but picks up and rolls on merrily towards the ending.

All in all, an excellent tale.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
569
569
Review of Just Us  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. I'll not pretend to understand why anyone would put themselves through the restrictions of an abecedarius (I looked it up) but you do it apparently effortlessly. I do understand, however, that free verse is an incredibly effective way to reach people (and it is, therefore, poetry). This is an intense, deeply-felt and honest poem. There is no way that I would suggest an improvement - it seems perfect to me.

It is very, very good. I just hope that others can see that too - they must, surely...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
570
570
Review of How now brown cow  
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You made me laugh. And that sums it all up because that was your intent. Must be good if you did that!
571
571
Review of Tech-No-Type  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ouch! Well, you managed it when you wrote this. It's one of those "story in 75 words" I'd guess and very effective at that.

It's an excellent description of writer's block (clever title, by the way) - I know just what you mean. And the final four words are a knife twisted in my soul.

Excellent!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
572
572
Review of My First Purse  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.0)
Not really my area of expertise but you brought it to life for me, reminding me that one of my favourite items of clothing is really a bunch of pockets sewn together (a fisherman's vest, I believe, although I'm no angler).

Your writing is competent but a little given to redundant phrases and statements. "Truth be told" is an example since we already believe that you're telling the truth; "Not to mention" is another - don't mention it if you say you're not going to. It's all about what we need to know and feel; everything else doesn't matter.

As I say, it's an enjoyable read but needs a little trimming.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
573
573
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (2.0)
Quite difficult to read because it is divided into only two paragraphs. Breaking it down further into several paragraphs would help enormously.

The piece reads as a very personal account of past problems, present situation and wondering about the future. It is only the fact that it came up in the Read & Review section that enables me to ignore my feeling that I'm prying. Certainly, I am not qualified to make suggestions to solve any problems and I'm not sure you're concerned about the quality of the writing.

I do hope you overcome your problems and enjoy a happier future. Your positive attitude should ensure success, I think.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
574
574
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
A charming piece on memories. Do you really have such a detailed memory of that first day? I think you're embellishing a little - and that's okay. It's what writers do, after all.

The writing is competent if a bit overloaded with detail and aside. It's easily fixed with some careful editing to trim the unnecessary words or phrases. Keep the atmospheric detail, cut the the things we don't really need to know.

Otherwise it's an enjoyable read. Well done and keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
575
575
Review by Beholden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I feel like the last person who should be reviewing this - exercise is not exactly my forte in life. But perhaps I have the greater understanding because of this. You certainly taught me more about the "why" of it than I have ever understood before.

And you are quite lyrical about jogging. You have me trailing behind you in complete belief of what you're doing - me, the unbeliever. If that isn't great writing, I don't know what is. Everything is right about the way you've approached your task; the separated, short sentences like the breaths you take; the accuracy of the words that express the feelings you have; the steady progression through a well-chosen pace (the very word speaking of the activity you describe).

It's excellent stuff and I can find no fault in it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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