*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/beholden/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/25
Review Requests: ON
1,192 Public Reviews Given
1,193 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 21 22 23 24 -25- ... Next
601
601
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.0)
Had a Boxer once - used to steal food bowls from other dogs in the neighborhood. She'd bring them home and line them up next to hers. I think she figured that we'd have to fill them too...

So I saw the punchline coming because I once owned a Boxer (I've since heard that this is quite common in the breed). But that didn't spoil the enjoyment. It's a clever little tale with good flow and pace. Just one minor quibble: "what our key eye witness Mr. X saw on this dark day.

It was an average day like just any other day, and the sun was high up in the sky." You had me a bit confused - was the day dark or average with the sun shining high in the sky? If I were you, I'd change "dark" to something like "fateful".

A pleasant and amusing read.
602
602
Review of Harry's Prairie  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men...

I'm no gardener but I know just how Harry must have felt when viewing the devastation. Sometimes good intentions are not good enough.

Well, I had to look up "xeric" so your story has supplied the something I was fated to learn today. Your story is good with just the right amount of detail and believable dialogue. The pace is right and everything flows without interruption to the end. I'm just wondering whether you should take pity on the reader by adding a note to explain our friend, "xeric". Still, I guess it gives Google something to do. ;)
603
603
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely story - I really enjoyed it. And, for what it's worth, I believed Bill right from the first!

Tone is excellent. I feel as if you saw me coming and wrote this just for me, the way you speak so easily and naturally to me. Good pace too (not rushed or dragging). Dialogue unforced and the flow was excellent. All in all, you've left me nothing to criticize. Well done!
604
604
Review of Dimitriou  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Great little story. In my typical , gullible fashion, I didn't see the end coming in spite of all the clues along the way. Which means you succeeded in the aim of the short story - to have a twist in its tail. Well done.

If I have a criticism, it would be that you supply a little too much detail. To cut out some of the descriptions would help the tale to flow more evenly. It's about pace, really. And a short story needs to be just that - long enough to include everything essential but short enough to reach the point quickly.

Remember, it's my opinion only. The story is strong and I suggest only a minor improvement.
605
605
Review of Choices  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.5)
Sometimes the obvious is just too easy...

Nice little tale, no explanations given and none needed. Some would be full of questions but I like the uncertainty of the world Martin suddenly finds himself in. The writing is good too, pace slick and background effectively scrubbed by painting everything white. Can't fault it.
606
606
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love it! Noted quite early that the relevant cow was named Daisy and so was likely to be the one the dog found so amusing. But I missed the importance of the bovine boyfriend's name until the very end. A lovely little piece.

Just one minor quibble: Are Friesian and Freshen the same animal? I was somewhat suprised to find the unknown Freshen being regaled near the end.
607
607
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Well, you captured me. I don't usually review poetry but I thought this deserved a chance at least. I read the first stanza. At first the ancient song of rhyme repelled me but the words began to draw me in. They're well chosen, after all.

And then the two words of the final verse come like a sudden lift into the unusual. This is more my kind of thing, I think. A few more verses and I am lost, completely forgetting to be irritated by rhyme and reaching forward to those last two words waiting to pounce. Ultimately I am forced to admit - this is good stuff. Well done indeed, Kåre!
608
608
Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A pleasant little tale. I especially like the way the pace changes as Susan's view of the place is challenged and then defeated. I think we all yearn for a return to simpler times and wholesome activities. My only concern is that the story may need a little more conflict to be truly engaging. It does seem a little too easy, too effortless a transformation. Nothing wrong with the writing, however.
609
609
Review of The Lion's Roar  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ah, Africa. Your story reminds me of something similar that happened to me in Gorongosa, Mozambique. More than anything else, however, it brings into sharp relief the amazing generosity of spirit of African peoples. Time and time again I have seen them give generously in circumstances that would have made most of us resentful and surly. A better man than I am, Gunga Din, indeed.

This is the kind of thing that people who have never been to the dark continent absolutely lap up. They love the exotic and dangerous feeling that an African piece gives and we can cash in on this. To me, who grew up in Africa, it was just normal life and ordinary therefore. It took an old and recently deceased American friend to show me that our memories can be fascinating to others.

If I may offer a suggestion regarding what is already a well written piece, you might try throwing in a little more detail of the heat and dust and sweat of Africa. It all helps to put the reader right there beside you.
610
610
Review of The Librarian  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Superb. If I just read it as I read most things (quickly), I feel the thoughts and emotions of the observer and the rigid rules and regulations imposed by the librarian. But then, if I read again, I notice the capital assigned the first word of the last line of the first verse. Which leads me to see that the other lines have no capital. Of course - the last line can also be the first! Clever. My mind is being messed with here.

More wary now, I read on and see the bracketed words that can live on their own. But apart from the cleverness, this is an accomplished and effective poem. It reaches us at a very deep level and awakens feelings long buried. Wonderful stuff!
611
611
Review of Creation Science  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent article and a thoroughly interesting explanation of the facts. Although I don't feel competent to enter the argument, I have always felt that there need be no conflict between the Bible's description of creation and evolutionary theories. One can easily be seen as descriptive of the other.

Your writing is clear and flows very well. It is ideal for the task you have set yourself. I guess I'm going to have to mark you as a favourite.

One tiny question that may be the result of our separation by the Atlantic. In England the plural of "hypothesis" is "hypotheses". Is it not the same in the States? I need to know because sometimes I write in American. ;)
612
612
Review of The Crystal Heart  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
A well written story with good pace and just the right amount of detail. Just a couple of niggles in the Epilogue. "A lock of celebrities hair" should surely be "celebrity's hair" and, in "would way far less on her conscience", I think you mean "weigh far less". But an enjoyable tale nevertheless with a nice twist in the end.
613
613
Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Nice. We've all had that feeling of not being understood or appreciated and your story conveys this very well. I confess that I was taken by surprise at the ending, just as you intended. As I got closer and closer to the end, I began to think that there would be no twist but you managed it all in the last few words. Very neatly done.

I have a minor quibble. When they entered the kitchen, I was a bit surprised that it was full of chickens and cows. "Wow, this guy really is fond of barnyard animals," I thought, my imagination populating the room with cows mooing and hens clucking. It was only as I read on that I realised that we were talking of decorations. It's something that jerked me out of the story for a moment but perhaps I'm a bit too literal. As I said, a very minor thing.
614
614
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wonderful story. Inventive, humorous, a brilliant reflection on the insanity of modern culture. There is serious intent lurking behind the surface as well - grappling with such things becomes more commonplace to us as time goes on. I liked it a lot (as you may have guessed by now). Of course, this might be because I've always been a dog lover...
615
615
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (3.5)
The heart of the Gospel indeed. Even today we find it hard to accept that we are saved by grace. Our natural inclination is always to perform in order to receive reward and yet we know that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. To have faith in grace is to trust God and His word.

Thank you for writing this excellent reminder of the wondrous mercy of God.
616
616
Review of Father of Mine  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Best thing I've read on this site so far (not claiming to have read a huge amount however). Beautiful picture of a son connecting with his father in a new and unexpected way. You have brought something not seen before into focus and touched us all profoundly. It's so hard to find anything to criticize so I'll just mention this: "...the television playing sometime that was probably an old Western". Shouldn't that be "something"?
616 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 25 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/beholden/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/25