Welcome to WDC, Winter Kitten ! I hope you enjoy your time here!
What Caught My Eye
The title caught my attention while I was looking through a bunch of stories and poems written by people who are new to WDC. The title seemed like a story, but the length was as short as a poem. It got my interest. I do love microfiction, and I also read a whole lot of poetry, in addition to writing and reviewing it. I mostly clicked to see which this was.
Misc Thoughts
A prologue is meant to introduce something that people need to know that takes place before a story starts. This does introduce the characters, but it seems to me that you could introduce them just as well during the story. If Pixie is interacting with Bell and Sammy and Blitz, then we will clearly understand that they are friends without you telling us so in the prologue. Similarly, if you make it clear that Pixie is a dog, and then she starts talking, we will know that she is a talking dog, right?
This all amounts to "show don't tell" really, which is a rule that I am not 100% fond of. Sometimes telling is faster and simpler and preferable to taking the longer route to show the audience. Still though, this seems like a case of all telling and no showing.
I am assuming that this is an extremely rough draft, right? You typed it up and didn't read it or touch it again? Grammar-wise, this is a huge mess. There are also unedited typo-looking things like "Bell,Sammy,and" with no spaces. If you clean it up, it would be easier to read. When editing, pay close attention to your sentences as well. There are a whole lot of run-on sentences going on in here. For instance:
Pixie she likes to go to sleep while someone is petting her, she likes to lick people, she likes to bark at people, and she is a cuddle bug, but most importantly she is a protective dog who keeps her family and friends safe.
She likes to go. She likes to lick. She likes to bark, and she is a cuddle bug. <---All of these are complete sentences that cannot be strung together in one sentence. You could say "She likes to go, lick, bark, and cuddle", but you cannot write them as complete sentences and stick them together with commas. Does that make sense?
Effect
The readability for this piece is just... not very good right now. It is a bit difficult to get through because of the punctuation and such at the moment. With a bit of revision, it would be much smoother. Then, people might be able to tell you whether the story hooked them or not rather than pointing out the boring stuff like grammar too. Just my two cents. Good luck with your revisions.
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