I really like this piece you have shared. Sounds like great childhood memories. Even not having a lot materialistically, you noticed the world changing. Nice!
Keep writing!
Very nice and well written! My favorite lines are, 'I will take the first, I will sate my thirst, I will rend mountains of spite with brilliant light.' Nice choice of words. I have always thought that a smile is worthwhile, never wasted. Helps you and helps others.
Keep writing!
Sounds like a good start. Very unique story line. I love how they escape to different galaxies. I usually do not prefer action/adventure but this is interesting. Keep writing!
Very nice! I like the thought of getting away or getting the independence from a terrible situation. My favorite is the last stanza. The end of one time and season and the fresh start.
Keep writing!
This is an amazing poem! Great writing! I like the idea of a purple butterfly, though I do not believe in life after death. But poems have no boundaries. This poem has good structure, rhythm and tells a great fantasy story. No need for rhyming. My favorite line is, 'and we will be together we will touch the sky you and I as two purple butterflies.'
I have only been outside of the country for a week at a time for vacation, but I know there is no place like home. I am not a big city girl so I know I would miss trees and nature and my quiet neighborhood so much, just to name a few. Thanks for sharing this. Keep writing!
What a great story! I love all the thought you put into this. Dreams are great! I have a few sweethearts from school that I wonder about too. One I thought I would marry, but didn't. I guess sometimes it is best to just keep the memories as they are. Everything happens for a reason. If we were meant to be together...I believe it would've stayed that way. Keep writing! I enjoyed it very much!
This is very comical. I especially like the last paragraph. Good writing! The first five lines are really what hooked me into wanting to read the rest.
Oh my! What an exceptionally exquisite written expression of love! Every adjective you used to describe your love is tremendous! Each verse builds up to the next and I found myself reading it aloud because I loved how all of the words fit together and described each element of what a love should be and feel like. Wow! Great! "Primal and elemental...stunningly staid and wildly reckless... reverently concrete and envelopingly sure..." Such fitting and unusual words. Great job and keep writing!
Simplicity...I like it! I have very few times I can just be still with two girls at home. I have to really remind myself to be still and quiet and relax.
Thanks for that reminder! Also, I am constantly putting quotes down on paper from those before me, famous and non-famous, to remind me of my good fortune and tips for living my life. This is an addition to my collection! Keep writing!
Another great read! Sounds like true love...and amazement that you have found the "one" for you. My favorite line is, 'You boast of beauty and you shine with so much divine passion you put the moon to shame.'
Good writing!
Amazing poem! I love how you always capture the essence of your subject. My favorite line is, 'Angels gasp at her approach and bask in her ultimate presence.' Great job! Keep writing!
Very sweet and romantic words in this poem. I like it! My favorite line is, 'I have always compared our love like two colorful red roses as they bathe under the warm lit Sun showing their forever beauty.'
Keep writing!
Very nice, descriptive words. I like this piece. Dramatic and with the first two lines, I imagined the man was a lot younger. Nice suspenseful and engaging details. Shows just how much a mother loves.
Keep writing!
Interesting! I usually do not like dark poetry, but this one makes sense to me. It takes all genres to have good writing.
My favorite line is, 'The woman who whispered sweet poetry in your ear. Who would trace the lines of your palm and play fortune teller.'
Keep writing!
So original! I like your style. Free verse is a great way to write. Rhyming is not always necessary.
I love the first stanza the best. Sounds like this person Kelly is very beautiful and youthful that the birds and crickets should sing to and of her because of her mere existence.
Keep writing!
Ok. I will be honest...I was taken back by this one. Just total opposite of "Hind Sight" that I just read 5 minutes ago. Still, great writing! Just a surprising turn. Good and evil are good topics to compare and contrast and have your own ideas about. Thanks for sharing your views. I love reading so many different genres and writers. It is so amazing how every mind is different. I think this sight makes it easy to write what you feel without feeling pressured or embarrassed about what you write. I definitely feel a lot of freedom here. I really like the honesty in your work. Originality is always better than trying to be with the crowd.
Keep sharing your work, please.
Interesting piece! I always enjoy non-fiction. It is interesting to learn of other real life stories. Sounds like you have a good heart to not want to kill.
Keep writing!
I really like this poem. You have a unique style of describing what most would say is just a color. My favorite lines are the first two, 'From black of night to white of day, what holds the balance is the grey.' With each line, I am picturing the sun making the sky orange and the yellow lightning. Extremely nice and warming to the soul. Keep writing!
I like this poem. Original style and unique word choices. My favorite line is, 'At the sonorous speech does it fill the ears; With splendid waves of melody'. I did not find any errors throughout. Keep writing!
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